Haseul I Miss You and Make Ups
“I told you she’d love it. You should see her, she cannot stop smiling.” Jiwoo was smiling herself. She was talking to Jinsol on the phone and was cutting an apple.
She hears Jinsol laugh, her voice coming out a little muffled “That’s good. I would take you guys there myself but I have a schedule sometime that day.”
Jiwoo doesn’t say anything, she stops cutting and she hopes Jinsol doesn’t notice her silence. These days she tries especially to be understanding, she knew what she was getting into when dating her girlfriend. Jinsol told her beforehand that she would be busy with work but Jiwoo can’t help but be sad. She has seen Jinsol once this month.
Jinsol promises her that they’d have more time later on but it always gets pushed back and Jiwoo just misses the little time she used to have with the girl.
Her girlfriend is rambling about Yerim going through a phase and Jiwoo tries to keep engaging in the conversation “She’s just been so bossy lately and I don’t want to say anything to her. And then Jungeun wants me to put my foot down and take charge as the oldest but how can I? It’s Yerim. I can’t be mean to her.”
Jiwoo puts her fruit in a bowl and takes it to her room “I don’t think you need to say anything mean. Just sit her down and talk to her. Don’t raise your voice-“ she hears her trying to hold in her laugh and Jiwoo cracks a smile. Jinsol never raises her voice except to make weird noises and Jiwoo has never seen her get mad. “-and don’t talk to her like she’s a kid. She’s grown now.”
Jinsol takes a deep sigh “I know that….it’s just hard not to baby her because we were just so young when we all met. She was young.”
Jiwoo pauses for a second, trying to gather her words “You know….you can still look out for her without treating her like a child. Work with her.”
Jinsol breathes hard “Yeah….I know….” they talk a bit more, Jiwoo finished eating her apples and is now in her bed “So I know I said we could do a dinner together tomorrow but I just found out we got added to a last minute event….” Jinsol mumbles, voice small.
Jiwoo shouldn’t be surprised by this, her girlfriend’s work schedule was all over the place. When she would stay over sometimes, Jinsol had to wake up at 3 am for work and didn’t come back until late in the night. Or Jinsol would have to pack her luggage for an international trip and would be back the next day or the next week.
Still.
It hurt.
“We can do one next week, I promise.”
“Okay.”
“What are you doing today?”
She puts her feet on the wall and crosses them “I’m supposed to hang out with Chae and Hyejoo later on. I’m not sure what we’re gonna do.”
“Send me pictures. I want to see you look cute.”
Jiwoo laughs “I am not dressing up. I think it’s going to be something casual.” she looks at the polaroid picture of Jinsol hanging up. Jinsol looked so cute that night.
“Send me pictures anyway.” Jiwoo hums “I’m going to be wearing our couple shoes today….” Jinsol says slowly and shyly.
“You’re so cute.”
Jinsol starts to speak but is interrupted by a girl calling out to her. “Uhhhh Jiwoo, I have to go. Jungeun is telling me that we’re about to start. Don’t forget to send me pictures. Goodbye, I love you.”
“Bye, I love you too.”
Ugh, now time to get ready for the day. Jiwoo gets up and puts on her playlist. She wears a white top and light colored jeans. Jiwoo looks at the shoes Jinsol bought her, she didn’t wear them often because she was scared that she’d ruin them. They were supposed to be saved for when she actually got to wear them with her girlfriend but she’d make the exception today since Jinsol was gonna wear hers too.
She grabs her wallet and makes her way to Hyejoo’s cafe. They were going to meet up there, grab some smoothies and head to the mall. It’s a small walk and when she walks in she sees the couple already sitting down.
Hyejoo is the first to see her walk in, ushering Chaewon to stand up so they could meet her halfway.
“Did you guys already order?”
Chaewon shakes her head “No, we were waiting for you.”
Hyejoo gives her a look of disbelief and Jiwoo furrows her eyebrows. Why was she looking at her so weird. “Where the hell did you get those?” She gives a quick look to her feet and Jiwoo looks down, even more confused.
She hits her heels together ‘My girlfriend bought couple shoes for us. Why?” She doesn’t understand why Hyejoo was being so weird or maybe she thought her outfit didn’t match or something.
“Um, nothing really. Except those are like really expensive shoes and are sold out.” Jiwoo looks down at her shoes again, I mean she knew they were really nice and felt comfortable but she didn’t know too much about the brand. Why would something like that matter when it was a gift from her girlfriend, she’d accept anything from Jinsol.
“Really?” this didn’t stop her from being curious “How do you know?”
Hyejoo hooks her arm with Chaewon’s and pulls her to the counter, Jiwoo follows “Well one of the Odd Eye Circle members wore it today and had it trending so I went to look them up.” Hyejoo has a small blush on her cheeks, a little embarrassed that she was trying to buy the same shoes as her idol “And they’re like $700. Mad expensive.”
Jiwoo is genuinely taken aback by this information, shocked that Jinsol would even think about spending that much on her. “If we starve for like four months then we can consider getting you that for your birthday and Christmas present. Valentines too.”
Hyejoo shoves her girlfriend away with a laugh and they laugh amongst themselves but Jiwoo is still stuck in thought of having such an expensive gift. She’d have to have a talk with Jinsol about this later, she didn’t need overly pricey stuff no matter how pretty they were.
They order their drinks and head to the mall. They searched for cute clothes and Jiwoo needed a thicker coat because it was getting ridiculously cold. She looks for an outfit for next week, she wanted to look cute for her date with Jinsol.
She couldn’t wait for it.
-
“Don’t hate me but….” Jiwoo dreads whatever is about to come out of Jinsol’s mouth, they were FaceTiming again. Her girlfriend was sitting in a car and promised her that nobody else was there with her. Not that Jiwoo cared in the first place. “We’re gonna have to reschedule our date to next week.”
Jiwoo’s face falls and is visibly upset and Jinsol winces at this, she didn’t want to say it “You said that last week.” She mumbles and frowns.
She’s aware that she was probably overreacting but she couldn’t help but get her feelings hurt again. Her girlfriend couldn’t spare her an hour so she could feel like she actually had a girlfriend?
“I’m sorry it’s just work-, I- um I’m sorry that it’s getting pushed back-“
“It’s always getting pushed back.” Jiwoo frowns and moves to her bedroom, she hopes that Chaewon isn’t hearing her. Her roommate was holed up in her room, probably catching up on a show or sleeping.
Jinsol stays quiet and this makes her more upset. Don’t get mad. Don’t get mad. She knows she shouldn’t be so upset about this, it’s not like Jinsol cancels the day of but it’s been over a month since she’s seen her girlfriend. The blonde was overseas half the time and for some reason she felt like she was putting in more effort than receiving.
There wasn’t a reason to be so sad because like she stresses, Jinsol communicates with her about her work situation/schedule but still. She’s being childish about this, she knows.
“I promise-“
“You said that last time too.”
Jinsol sits in the car and there’s a silence between the two. Jiwoo sees her play with a finger like she didn’t know what else to do. Was she being too harsh? “You can’t visit me? Or I can visit you?” She tries hard not to seem like she was begging for attention because it made her feel worse, having to beg for her girlfriend to do stuff for her.
“My schedule is too crazy right now. I don’t think it’s possible. I want to see you too.”
“Right.”
“Please don’t be mad.”
“I’m not.” It comes out more petty than she wanted it to be and Jiwoo hates feeling like this. She missed having Jinsol beside her. Not getting a total of five texts a day or 2 minute phone calls if she’s lucky. She’s not mad, just discouraged.
There’s tapping on Jinsol’s window and it alarms the both of them. She lowers the window down and Jiwoo can’t hear what’s being said from the random person. Jinsol is nodding at them and then raises the window. There’s a heavy sigh “I have to go.”
“Work, yeah. I get it.”
“Jiwoo…” Jinsol’s voice is low and soft “I love you…”
Jiwoo doesn’t have the heart not to say it back. She wanted them to be okay, at least pretend they were “I love you too.”
-
Their messages are short, well from Jiwoo’s side. Jinsol was sending her multiple messages, trying to make up for what happened two days ago but Jiwoo gets mad thinking about it. She wasn’t over it and convinced herself that she was being too mean but she couldn’t help it. Her body and feelings were doing without her having a say.
It was the day of ⅓’s concert and they were getting ready for it. Chaewon just had to be extra and dress up super cute. Jiwoo couldn’t let herself look like a dumpster fire next to her best friend so she had to dress cute and do her make up too.
Chaewon was giddy all morning and she even rushed Jiwoo to hurry up, it’s not like they still had six hours before the concert started or anything.
She looks at her phone, she hasn’t received a message from Jinsol yet. It puts her in a sour mood but she fakes her smile to Chaewon and they go find a restaurant to eat before they line up for the concert.
Jiwoo keeps her phone facing up on the table, just in case she gets a notification. “So, are you excited?” She wiggles her body, she loved getting her roommate riled up.
Chaewon grins instantly and she moves her hands around “I still can’t believe I’m about to see them again.” the whole week Chaewon had been playing their albums non stop, she had wanted Jiwoo to actually appreciate the performances and not be lost.
The younger keeps talking about random things that include the leaked song list of the concert from her ‘very’ reliable sources. They got to the venue early because Chaewon wanted to buy the official merchandise before everything sold out.
Jiwoo didn’t know that mini light sticks were a thing and she squealed when Chaewon compared it to her own light stick, it was so cute. Chaewon bought four of them and Jiwoo thinks she’s crazy. I need a color for each member, is what Chaewon responds with.
They both buy shirts and Chaewon bought a poster. Apparently Hyejoo had given her extra money to go stupid, go crazy ahhhhh with.
The next two hours of standing in line drag for Jiwoo but Chaewon was too excited and went by fast for her.
There’s cheering when they start letting people in, thank god because Jiwoo couldn’t wait to sit down. When it’s their turn to get their tickets scanned they’re stopped by the security guy. Chaewon looks terrified because what if this affected them getting into the concert. The man opens a drawer and hands the both of them lanyards.
They’re both confused and wonder if he got the wrong people because it looked nice and official. Nonetheless, they take it and both gasp. Jiwoo totally wasn’t expecting backstage passes and she wasn’t given time to think. The same man hurried up the line and they walked forward with blank faces.
“Jiwoo.” Chaewon clenches her plastic case “Can you break up with your girlfriend so she can date me and Hyejoo instead?”
Why didn’t Jinsol mention this before? “No.”
“I know I see it in my hands right now but I still can’t believe this is real.”
Jiwoo checks her phone again, no message “Let’s go find our seats?”
She didn’t think it was possible for Chaewon to get happier than she was before the line started moving but she stood corrected. Chaewon started blowing up Hyejoo’s phone with what was probably 50 messages back to back, wanting to explain what just happened to them.
Jiwoo wasn’t trying to look but all Hyejoo sent back was a: cool. Followed by a: im playing rn have fun ❤️
The older looked at the time, the concert was about to start in five minutes. Well that’s if they were on schedule.
Soon the lights dimmed and cheers erupted. Jiwoo doesn’t know why her heart started beating fast, maybe she was more excited than she thought. She looks over and Chaewon is jumping up and down, waving all five of her light sticks around.
They had extremely good seats that they could see the members well when they emerged from the bottom of the stage. Jiwoo is taken aback by Chaewon’s high pitched yell because it hurt her left ear.
Chaewon didn’t bring her along to sit around so Jiwoo stood up beside her friend to yell with her.
At one point Jiwoo’s head started to hurt from the loud music, loud yelling around her and a little of her own yelling. Chaewon kicks her bag towards Jiwoo so she digs through the front pocket. There were painkillers in a small bottle and Jiwoo has never felt more grateful in her life.
She takes two and goes back to cheering with her best friend.
“I hate to say it but it’s going to be our last song for the night. Seriously this time.” Haseul is breathing hard into the mic and there’s disappointment verbally said around the crowd “I know. I’m sad too.” She frowns and wipes her sweat with her shirt “We promise to come back soon, okay? Promise not to leave us?” She laughs, while the rest of the members pretend to make sad faces.
There’s yelling of no’s and this makes Haseul hold out her pinky “Promise not to leave?”
Chaewon quietly whispers “I promise.” and Jiwoo thought she was so cute for that.
The members seem satisfied with all the yelling and finally start their last song for the night. Jiwoo didn’t think she’d have this much fun but now she can’t wait for another concert. The members run around the stage, playing with fans for a final time as they reluctantly head behind the curtain.
The lights turn back on and Chaewon is sitting in her seat as if the concert was a dream. Jiwoo is exhausted but still enjoyed herself “Are you ready to head backstage now?”
This snaps Chaewon back, like she had forgotten the pass that was hanging around her neck for the past three hours. “We’re going now?”
Jiwoo laughs “Well, I’m sure they’re tired and are getting ready to head out so we should try to catch them before they leave.” She doesn’t really know if the idols stick around while the staff cleans and puts away the equipment.
Chaewon is feeling a little scared at the thought of meeting her favorite group one on one. She should’ve dressed nicer if she would’ve known she’d be seeing Jeon Heejin in the flesh.
Jiwoo finds a nearby staff and he leads them to where ⅓ was currently resting at. She hopes that they aren’t being a bother and if they were even aware of Jinsol getting backstage passes for them. Chaewon is literally shaking beside her “Do you want the honors?”
“No, you do it because I don’t think I can.” She thinks she’s going faint.
Jiwoo knocks, waits a second and pokes her head in. She recognizes the members, all four of them and the staff are staring at her. “Jiwoo!” Heejin is the first to say and waves at her.
“Oh my god, she knows your name.” Chaewon says in a hushed whisper.
Jiwoo grabs her best friend’s wrist and drags her in with her. Chaewon thinks that Jiwoo was trying to support her but in all honesty Jiwoo was the one that needed it. She was meeting the rest of Jinsol’s friends and one already doesn’t like her.
The members were changed out of their concert costumes and into their official concert shirts. Haseul, who Jiwoo finally could say she learned, is the first out of the two to introduce herself “So you’re Sollie’s girl. Wow, she told me you were a looker but she wasn’t kidding.”
Jiwoo blushes and awkwardly laughs, she doesn’t really know what her girlfriend talks about with her friends “I’m Jiwoo and this is my friend Chaewon. Sorry if I would’ve known she got us these passes then I wouldn’t have came empty handed.” She feels a little embarrassed about this.
“What? She didn’t tell you?” Haseul smiles with her teeth.
Vivi leans into Haseul, her own shy smile on her face “It was probably a surprise.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t put it past her.” The members agree with Hyunjin, who Jiwoo has been trying to avoid eye contact with this whole time. Jiwoo still feels weird around Hyunjin so she was hoping she wouldn’t have to interact with her too much.
At the corner of her eye, she sees Heejin step closer to Chaewon and start a conversation with her. Jiwoo has to give her bestie props for not freaking out and dropping dead. Chaewon nervously smiles and Heejin motions Hyunjin to join in on their discussion.
“Your performance was really awesome!” Jiwoo says very animatedly and smiles “You guys look very pretty. My friend is a big fan and introduced me to you.” She motions to Chaewon.
Haseul’s eyes sparkle and she asks which was her favorite song. Vivi doesn’t talk much but nods and keeps her hands to herself, Jiwoo could tell that she still enjoyed the conversation.
Haseul looks around, not wanting anyone else to hear and steps closer “I wish we could’ve been there the time Jinsol invited us to meet. I was really surprised when I found out she was dating and was really touched that she wanted to introduce us.” She holds Jiwoo’s hands and pats them “I bet you she’s jealous that she isn’t here.”
Jiwoo’s smile is fake and she agrees. She didn’t want the girl to know she hit a sore spot by saying that. She got hit in the face again with the reality of them being in the middle of arguing “She was sad that you and Vivi weren’t there but I’m glad we got to meet. She talks about you guys a lot.”
Vivi smiles and leans in, wanting to tease “Talks about us? I think you’re mistaken, she can’t stop talking about you. She’s always on her phone smiling and that’s how we know she’s talking to you.”
Now Jiwoo was starting to feel embarrassed, getting shy whenever someone talked about her relationship. The opposite of what everyone would assume is that Jiwoo was a reserved person when it came to her love life. She didn’t like anyone knowing her business and was shy about it. So when they would get teased about it by friends and although it was Jinsol who would be the one getting attacked, it was Jiwoo who would be blushing.
“Heejin talked about you before, she said that you were really nice.” Haseul adds.
Hearing her name, Heejin snaps her head in their direction “What did you say about me?”
Vivi raises an eyebrow “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
And that’s how all the six group up and end up talking. Hyunjin doesn’t really say anything, aside from her funny facial expressions. They stand around and talk for another thirty minutes before Jiwoo excuses them to go. The group was probably tired and she didn’t want to overstay their welcome.
They sign Chaewon’s shirt and they take a group picture together. Heejin says something about them needing to hang out together and even includes Chaewon in this invitation. Chaewon tries to keep it cool but Jiwoo could tell she was freaking out.
“Yeah, definitely.”
Jiwoo frowns, half asleep and reaches to her phone that was plugged up charging. She didn’t notice the million drunk texts from her girlfriend and slides to accept the phone call.
“Um hey, is this Jiwoo?” It was a woman’s voice, one that was familiar but couldn’t make out exactly who it was. She rubs her face with her hand and reads the caller id. It was her girlfriend’s phone number and this makes her tiredly sit up.
She gives a groggy yes “It’s me, Yerim.” it was midnight and she’s only been asleep for a little over an hour “We’re at this restaurant for a company dinner. It’s a celebration for the girl’s concert and Jinsol is extremely drunk.”
Jiwoo crawls out of her bed and to her bathroom, washing her face hoping it’ll wake her up “Where are you guys at? I’ll come pick her up.”
“I’ll send you the address. You can drive, right?”
Jiwoo hums and looks into the mirror, her face is swollen and she has dark circles. She tries to make herself look decent by fixing her wet bangs and heads back to her room to change. They end the phone call and a minute later she gets a message with the restaurant’s address.
Jiwoo looks at the messages that she didn’t get to see while she was asleep.
Jindori 💙:
Babyyyyyyh
Jiwoooo 🥺🥺
why aren’t you txting m e bak
:(((
Imy
Inm iss you
r u still mAD at me????
im sorry
I deserve ur silentt tretment but
i stilk miss you 😢
i love you
jiwoo I lov you
pls don’t break up with me :(
i love you
Jiwoo rubs her thumb on her screen and is sad again. Jinsol would message her back when she was knocked out and now her girlfriend was drunk texting her. She reads over the part where Jinsol thought she was going to break up with her.
Now she regrets treating the blonde to the point where Jinsol thought she would break up with her over something a little petty on Jiwoo’s part. They would be okay, just a bump in the road.
It takes her forty minutes to find a taxi last minute and give the driver the address.
The restaurant was full of people, it was packed and Jiwoo didn't step in all the way to find her girlfriend because Yerim was standing by the entrance with Jinsol slumped against her.
“Hey, sorry. We aren’t leaving until another three hours and I knew she’d rather be with you anyways.” Yerim throws Jinsol's car keys to her “I’ll help her to the car.”
Jinsol was stumbling all over the place and her hair was covering her face. Jiwoo goes to the other side of her girlfriend and takes a hold of her arm. “She needs to be up by six but i already set up her alarm.”
They get her in the passenger seat and Jiwoo buckles her seat belt “Okay, thanks for calling me.” The older leans in to give Yerim a hug, she hasn’t seen her in forever. It’s been around two months and she missed her just as much as she missed seeing Jungeun.
“Thanks for coming.” Yerim pulls away and gives Jinsol a quick look. Yerim’s face drops and she kicks her foot, not really wanting to ask “Um, are you two doing okay? Sorry if I’m overstepping.”
Jiwoo tenses up immediately and she gets a cold sweat. She doesn’t really want to say anything because if Jinsol hadn’t told them anything then maybe she didn’t want them to know that they were going through something right now. “You saw the messages…?” She bites her lip, there wasn’t a reason to lie because she’s sure that the younger saw Jinsol’s texts sent to her.
Yerim squeezes her hand, trying to comfort her “I wasn’t trying to be nosy. I saw it by accident.” Yerim brings her in for another hug and Jiwoo melts into her arms. She needed this, talking about it would make her feel better.
Jiwoo didn’t even tell Chaewon about them fighting because she knew that the girl would always choose her side. She didn’t want to give her reasons to hate her girlfriend.
“I figured it, too. She’s been really mopey and moody lately. I was hoping nothing serious happened between you two. We all really like you.” Not everyone. Yerim holds her tighter before leaning back to offer a smile “Please be patient with Jinsol. She’s really slow and new to this but believe me when I say she really loves you. She always looks at your pictures when we’re in the car together and reads your old messages when she’s bored. I don’t know what’s going on or why you guys are fighting, it’s none of my business but please give her another chance.”
Jiwoo needed this reassurance, sure it would’ve been better to hear it from Jinsol but she’d take Yerim’s word for it. The younger was a sweetheart and she doesn’t think she’d lie about this. It was nice hearing about how Jinsol acted around her friends and how much she affected her emotions just as much as Jinsol affected hers.
“Don’t worry. I love her too, you know?”
Yerim smiles “I’ll let you go. Be careful on the way.”
It was the first time driving Jinsol’s car and it made her nervous. It was expensive and scary and how do you turn on the lights?
After being stressed the whole time, they finally make it back to Jiwoo’s place. She was too tired to drive Jinsol back to her house so they’d just have to make do.
She almost calls Chaewon to help her bring her girlfriend up because it was a lot of work for Jiwoo alone. She decides not to because it’s almost three in the morning and Chaewon would be grumpy.
Jinsol sobers up a little and is able to walk, if anything she sobered up once she realized that it was Jiwoo helping her up. Jiwoo doesn’t notice but Jinsol was holding back tears because she’s scared that Jiwoo will be even more upset with her.
Jinsol swallows hard and her head is spinning when Jiwoo drops her on her bed. The blonde looks up with glossy eyes and this makes Jiwoo feel worse. Jiwoo moved her girlfriend’s hair out of her face and rubs her face with her thumb.
Jinsol grabs her hand and snuggles it to her face. She is still drunk and worried that Jiwoo was going to leave her. “I love you.” She says hoarsely and closes her heavy eyelids. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry. I love you, too. We’ll...we’ll talk about this in the morning…”
“Can I- can I get a goodnight kiss?” Jinsol puckers her lips sloppily but Jiwoo thinks she still looks cute so she leans down to give her a quick kiss.
She missed her so much.
“Sleep. You have to wake up in like three hours.” Jiwoo gets into the bed beside her. Jinsol throws her body on top of her, finally crying because she missed Jiwoo so much. Jiwoo holds in her own tears after hearing Jinsol sob against her so she holds her closer.
After another five minutes, the blonde immediately falls asleep from the alcohol and exhaustion but Jiwoo stays up longer.
She wipes Jinsol’s face and one thought flows through her head.
They’d be okay.