Chapter Three
— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] —
TG: yo sorry didnt get your message
TG: yeah were good
TG: why wouldnt we be
TG: everything is all good
TG: like if someone came up to me and said we were anything but good
TG: id be like dude
TG: wtf
TG: like shit is so good right now
TG: fuck i dont know where im going with this
TG: its too fuckin early why am i awake
TG: can you respond and put me out of my misery
TG: my misery obviously being that i cant come up with a good metaphor
TG: shit jade i am so miserable right now
TG: on a misery scale of 1-10 im a goddamn 69
TG: like shit do you know how miserable that is
TG: come on jade dont leave me hanging
TG: you know what they say
TG: misery loves company or whatever
TG: where did that come from
TG: like was some dude just like shit
TG: im fucking miserable as hell
TG: i want to make everyone around me miserable too
TG: boom
TG: company
TG: seriously where the fuck are you
TG: jade
TG: jade
TG: jade
TG: ...
TG: jadr
TG: fuck
TG: jade
GG: wow desperate much :P
GG: ill have you know that i was in the shower dave
GG: are you really that impatient?
TG: yes
GG: hi!
TG: dude did you not have your phone with you
GG: in the shower?
TG: in the bathroom
GG: no??
TG: what the fuck
TG: why not
GG: why would i?
TG: so you can respond to your very cool friend
TG: obviously
TG: also its just like
TG: a law
TG: that you take your phone into the bathroom with you
GG: thats a law?
TG: yeah totally
TG: i bet thats a fuckin law in like
TG: canada or some shit
GG: in canada?
TG: yeah
GG: i really dont think it is :/
TG: how would you know
TG: youre not canadian
GG: cant argue with you there!
TG: exactly
TG: its a law
TG: better not forget next time you have to take a piss
TG: take your phone
TG: or ill sic tz on you
TG: girl knows her laws
GG: haha!
GG: so how are you dave? :)
TG: well now that youve actually responded
TG: put me out of my misery
TG: im ok
TG: cant complain
GG: yeah?
TG: yeah
GG: hows rose?
TG: ask her yourself
TG: shes still your friend
GG: :/
TG: dude
GG: fine hows karkat?
TG: loud
GG: wow i never would have guessed
TG: yep
TG: totally
TG: dude doesnt shout every second of his god damn life or anything
GG: hehe
GG: but really though is rose still ok with me??
TG: yeah man
TG: you know what rejections like
TG: shit sucks
TG: shes just getting over it
GG: okay
GG: dave?
TG: sup
GG: can i tell you something
TG: what
GG: i told rose i didnt want to date her because i dont like girls..
TG: i know she told me
GG: but see
GG: i think
GG: maybe i DO like girls
TG: shit what
GG: just not rose
TG: oh
TG: well fuck dont tell her that
TG: do you want to crush her
GG: no!
GG: thats why i havent talked to her about this!
GG: shes my gay friend
TG: dude
GG: my female gay friend!
GG: my lesbian friend
GG: shes who id go to if i had an issue like this
GG: but now i cant!
GG: cause shes gonna know that i just dont like her
GG: and then id feel really bad :(
TG: well yeah
GG: do you know what i should do?
TG: dude i dunno
GG: wow thanks for the help :/
TG: well shit i mean im not exactly the romance expert here
GG: right yeah thats your boyfriends job ;)
TG: dude
TG: but yeah ask him
GG: i did!
TG: what
GG: yeah!
GG: i got his info from terezi
GG: she told me to ask him
TG: damn ok
TG: didnt tell me that but whatever
GG: aw are you jealous?
TG: of you asking karkat for advice on being gay?
TG: yknow
TG: i think im good
GG: hehehe
TG: seriously i know jack dick about this stuff
GG: its ok
GG: me too
GG: but we’re good?
TG: yeah
GG: ok!
GG: i think im gonna go hit on some girls today :)
TG: dude nice
TG: lmk how it goes
GG: ok :D
GG: did you want to talk about anything?
TG: naw
GG: no?
TG: naw
GG: so all that “jade im miserable responddd” was just you being dramatic??
TG: yep
TG: it worked though
GG: no it didnt!
TG: sure whatever
TG: go hit on the ladies now harley
GG: hehehe ok :)
GG: bye dave!
TG: see ya
— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] —
Hitting On The Ladies was easier said than done. For one thing, Jade had no idea how to figure out which girls liked girls and which didn’t. Also she had no idea how to hit on them.
She thought about enlisting the help of one of her friends but ultimately decided this was something she had to do unaided.
This is why Jade is currently at the library. The ideal spot to hit on women, obviously.
She scanned the room for lesbians.
What do they even look like? She sort of assumed she’d know when she saw them, but now that she’s actually looking she’s realising how wrong she was. They don’t have a set look.
Jade realised this was a horrible place to hit on girls. She should’ve gone to a club or literally anywhere other than a fucking library.
“Oh, Jade, hello,” A familiar voice spoke to her. Jade whirled around to see Kanaya standing there by the desk.
“Oh, Kanaya!” Jade smiled. “You work here?”
“No,” Kanaya said, shaking her head. “I just come here often. I’ve formed an odd sort of friendship with those who do. Are you here for anything in particular?”
“Erm.. No, not really?”
“No?”
“Nope. Just having a look.”
Kanaya nodded, “I see.
Jade smiled, “Mind if I stick around with you for a bit?”
“Not at all,” Kanaya smiled back. She motioned in the direction of the tables. “Would you like to sit down?”
Jade wasn’t sure how far apart she was supposed to sit from her.
Kanaya, if Terezi’s info was correct, liked girls. How does Jade go about subtly letting her know she’s looking for more than friendship without coming off like a complete ass?
“Are you going to sit?” Kanaya asked.
Jade realised she’d just been hovering over her shoulder like a fool.
“Yeah,” She sat.
It was kind of awkward. She didn’t know what to talk about.
“So, I guess we should find something we both share an interest in to talk about?” Kanaya said, like she read Jade’s mind.
“Right, yeah,” She nodded. “So, how do we do that?”
Kanaya shrugged, “Tell me about yourself.”
“Uhhh, well, I really like animals, especially dogs, and also plants. I try to help out where I can, oh, my favourite colour is green!” She paused. “What else..”
“Well I also like green,” Kanaya said. “So I guess that’s one thing.”
“I like lime green.”
“Oh, I prefer jade, myself. The um, the colour.”
Jade smiled. Maybe she should just ask her out? Terezi would have told her if she had a girlfriend right?
She needs to do this before she starts overthinking things.
“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime?”
Kanaya blinked, “Sorry?”
“Sorry was that too soon?” Jade frowned. Maybe Kanaya just wasn’t interested? “I’ve never really done this before.”
Kanaya cleared her throat, “You’re- asking me out?”
Jade nodded. Maybe this was a mistake.
“Sorry i’ve never asked anyone out before, did I do okay?”
Kanaya snorted out a laugh before clearing her throat and composing herself, “Yes, Jade, you did okay. And yes I think I would like to go out with you some time, I’m sure it would be nice.”
“Really?” Jade grinned. “Okay, great!”
Kanaya opened her mouth, but the sound of a phone going off distracted her. “One moment,” She pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. “I should probably take this, I’ll be right back.”
“Oh,” Jade frowned. “No, that’s okay I can just leave.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. I’ll pester you later?”
Kanaya smiled and nodded.
“Okay, go answer your phone, I’ll be on my way.”
“It stopped ringing while we were talking, I’ll have to call him back now. Goodbye Jade.”
Jade stood and stepped away from the table, glancing back over her shoulder briefly to see Kanaya holding her phone to her ear.
She smiled, Jade Harley has a date!