A Decision
Her hands dug into the ground as she continued to hack up blood. Her body felt like it was on fire and it wasn’t getting better but at least she wasn’t dead. Though it almost felt like it. If she was going to, she would bring Tamayo to the depths of hell with her.
Tamayo said something about Raava breaking the curse and then she remembered from her memory that Tamayo was freed of Muzan’s cursed but how? And since that was proven true to her already, how did she mistakenly say his name out loud? She must have done something to her to make her say it. Tamayo’s technique probably had something to do with attacking someone’s brain functions and the fact that she didn’t realize it was scary.
She concluded that Tamayo was a scary person.
“I see…why…he never went…after you himself,” she raised her head and attempted to make eye contact with Tamayo, with a couple more coughs of blood, “You’re scary.”
“Muzan is a coward, that is why he has always sent demons after me.”
Korra chuckled at that. Yeah, perhaps Tamayo was right. Muzan was a coward and he had always made everyone do all the dirty work. Nobody knew what he did besides conducting his own research but it’s not like everybody minded.
Korra knew that Muzan was incredibly strong but maybe the reason he never went after Tamayo was the fact that he was scared of her and what she could do because it seemed to her from her memories that she was an expert in medicine and demons. She held incredible knowledge she must have been,
“You were the very…first…weren’t you?”
Tamayo smiled a sorrowful smile, “I was.”
Please hear out Lady Tamayo, Avatar Korra. I apologize you had to find out this way…what Aang couldn’t do, you must do. You are now free from the curse and he no longer can read into your thoughts and harm you through the curse. I believe from here on out you must choose what you want to do. I will only come to you if you ask of me.
Good is what Korra thought when she heard Raava speaking to her. Glad she wasn’t dead but embarrassed that she, an upper moon, was almost taken down.
The coughing finally stopped, and she could breathe again. Her body no longer felt like it was on fire and she felt her strength coming back but she felt empty. She had coughed up so much blood that she probably needed another fill.
Slowly getting up Tamayo had spoken up. “I knew Raava would break the curse. So Avatar Korra-“
“Please don’t call me that, Korra is better.” She spat out at her with a glare still not sure what motive Tamayo and Yushiro had since they didn’t seem that they were going to attack her. Though she had a feeling what was going to happen.
Tamayo smiled and resumed, “Will you help us destroy Muzan and restore balance?”
And she was right. Tamayo still thought she could get her to help them. Did she really think she was going to just say yes and then they would kill Muzan with her help? Just because Korra now knew that he was a coward didn’t change the fact that she was still going to leave to live as a demon and help Muzan.
But what changed was that Korra had no malice towards her anymore. She studied her face looking for a fault, looking for something but there was no ill will. With the way she had spoken his name she really hated him.
“What makes you think that I’ll help you?”
“Because I know there’s still light in you, no matter how much of the darkness from Muzan has consumed you. I know you know what the right thing to do is.”
In reality, she had trouble figuring out what the right thing to do was. If she knew what the right thing was, she wouldn’t be asked this question. So maybe what she was going to do wasn’t the right thing or maybe it was. Killing Tamayo was the right thing but was it to her or to Muzan?
“That’s so cruel of you to say Tamayo, I certainly don’t know what the right thing to do is!” She laughed bitterly, “What else is it that you want from me?”
“I think the question is, what is it that you want?”
To be free.
If she really thought about it, that’s all she really wanted. Maybe Muzan’s curse wasn’t a curse but her becoming a demon was. It was really an event that happened in her life that she had to come to accept and she didn’t find it half bad. Regeneration and demon blood art was amazing, it was like she was invincible. She was already powerful before but now she was insanely strong. She had already accepted this, nothing could change.
“Nothing,” freedom is what she wanted to say but a lie came out, “I already decided what I want to do after I killed you,” another lie because she was conflicted with everything in front of her now, “but I have one more question for you? Since you know Muzan so well, what is it that he wants?”
Without skipping a beat, “Immortality. The sun, besides me, is his worst enemy.”
And then it suddenly clicked in Korra’s mind. The reason she was made was because Muzan thought she would defeat his worst enemy but what would happen to her after she did? This man really was the epitome of evil. He is scared of dying and he would go through any means to get what he wanted, and he did that by turning her and being the Avatar sweetened his probability.
Korra had a lot to think about now. He really made her believe that she was special but not in the way she had thought. Confused and angry is what she felt. She really wasn’t expecting some sort of reality check. If humans were the worst, then Muzan would be right next to them as well.
Korra’s face betrayed her feelings and Tamayo noticed this, “Will you think about it?”
Korra would give that to her, “I’ll be back in three days with an answer, for now try not to get killed and change your hideout.”
As she walked through the wall and out back into the neighborhood she thought, freedom sure is a tricky thing.
They were relieved to see Korra come back out. Time had passed by slowly for them while they were waiting for Korra but she seemed different when she came out. Asami had noticed Korra’s body language change from confident to looking a bit unsure and almost angry.
She made no eye contact with them and made way to the passenger seat leaning her head back with her eyes closed.
No words were exchanged while they got into the car and Asami drove the boys back to the arena.
The entire ride there was spent in silence. Korra made no move to say anything, she just wanted utter silence and to cry even but that part could wait. She felt the car roll to a stop. She opened her eyes and she saw the boys step out and make their way to their little home at the arena. She couldn’t muster any energy to wave goodbye, so she closed her eyes again, missing the worried looks from Mako and Bolin.
“Did you take care of it, Korra?” concerned laced in Mako’s voice.
Korra would lie again. Humans were easily gullible, and she just wanted to get back to her room at this point. She just needed to be somewhat alone.
“They’re both dead.”
She heard a sigh of relief and then Bolin’s voice. “We’re glad you’re okay then.” He spoke much softer this time she noticed. It wasn’t his usual boisterous self. It was nice actually but what he said just lingered in the back of her mind. The car had already started moving again and she couldn’t stop but think if she really was okay. Certainly, she wasn’t but she would unpack her feelings later.
Right now, it was just her and the girl she held feelings for. Asami was someone she really cared about, and she was currently respecting her space which just added on to this mountain of feelings she had. Sometimes she wanted to reach out to her and tell her everything, but she always stopped thinking that maybe she wouldn’t care. Maybe Asami only thought of her as just some ruthless demon instead of a friend. She wouldn’t be wrong though. Daki was right that she shouldn’t bother trying but now with Tamayo’s words and the aftereffects of them, she was so hurt and confused. She never asked for this. She never asked to be a demon, to be ostracized and ridiculed by the humans who were sworn to protect her. The one person who really embraced who she was, was the man who created her, Muzan.
The car had started to roll to a stop and she finally opened her eyes. She released a sigh as she stared at the sight above her. A dark sky void of stars but the moon was big and bright. She felt a slender hand wrap around hers and she changed her line of sight to the girl next to her.
Asami offered her a gentle smile and squeeze of her hand. She didn’t say anything, but they just sat there staring at one another. Asami’s hand felt so warm, looking at her was like staring at the sun. So warm and so bright. Her kind eyes betrayed nothing other than kindness. She hadn’t seen someone stare at her like this in so long. With everyone else there was always something else but with her it was so different.
Whenever they were alone Korra would be so happy and sometimes she’d be able to forget about her own messed up life. Asami made her so happy even if she didn’t know it. But the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt her. Korra thought maybe her feelings for Asami had spurred past the point of like. The way they were still sitting in silence that wasn’t awkward and Asami lightly tracing patterns on the palm of her hand.
Korra finally looked down at their hands. They were so different, and it caused a pang in her chest. Sharp claws in contrast to what normal hands would be. And she was far from normal. This couldn’t be realistic even if it could happen. Korra closed the gap in their hands by intertwining their fingers. She still didn’t take her eyes off their hands; she didn’t want to ruin this small moment.
Asami wondered what was going on through Korra’s mind. She was worried about her, but she knew not to push. She would give her all the comfort in the world if that’s what she wanted. She had blushed when Korra intertwined their fingers and it made her heartbeat speed up. She didn’t have the courage to try and initiate it, so she was glad that Korra did. It also let her know that Korra was somewhat alright and that was something for her. She knew that she was looking at Korra lovingly and she didn’t care. It was true. Korra was a person she adored.
They sat there still for another few moments till Asami decided to ask, “Do you need some company tonight?”
Korra looked up at Asami who looked like she was looking at her as if she was the only person in this world. That small pang in her chest from earlier was gone with just that look. Then she remembered she had asked her a question.
“I think I need some alone time but,” Korra gave her a crooked grin, “I’ll take that offer for tomorrow night.”
That smile Asami saw filled her heart with warmth. She would give Korra her space and stay the night tomorrow. She squeezed her hand and nodded her head.
Korra slowly untangled their hands and before she got out of the car, she decided to leave a kiss on Asami’s forehead. An unspoken thank you for just letting her sit there and be comforted. Then she left without looking back because if she did, she wouldn’t want to leave but she had some feelings to sort out.
Asami’s eyes were wide and she felt herself blushing. Korra had never done anything outside of hugs and she didn’t know how to take this. One part said maybe the feelings are mutual but then another part said maybe that was a friendly forehead kiss, right? Did friends do that? Asami wondered and she would have dwelled on it more but then remembered that she could get home.
She touched her forehead on the spot where Korra had kissed her while she drove back to the Sato estate and smiled.
Naga was in her room when she arrived. A small smile on her face as she stared at her sleeping companion. She tossed her dirty clothes to the side and wrapped herself in a robe before making way for a shower.
Once she was finally alone again, she ran the shower and stepped in not worrying about the temperature of the water. She stood there while the water rolled off her skin in different paths. There was still some blood residue on her face as she noticed some of the water falling was a faded red. She let out a sigh before she finished washing herself. She knew once she stepped out and back into her room, she would have to face her feelings and thoughts.
She dried herself off and applied new chest wraps and instead of pants she put on skintight shorts that reached the middle of her thighs. Then it was time to finally step back into her room and stop avoiding the inevitable.
She decided to lay on against Naga. Her big polar bear dog woke up a little at the new weight being pressed to her side, but she wasn’t disturbed by it. She looked happy to see Korra and so she started to rub under her chin while giving her companion a smile.
She looked at Naga and realized something, “You know girl, I wish I could remember how we met,” her smile then turned to a sad one and Naga noticed the change in her features, so she snuggled further into her hand. “You’ve always been so good to me.”
She snuggled further into Naga while she retracted her hand from under her chin, “Naga if you were in my shoes, what would you do? How would you restore peace?” Naga just simply laid her head down and closed her eyes. She had seemed to fall back asleep but that just made Korra smile. She knew Naga wasn’t going to give her any type of answer of course but she would voice them out loud.
“The right thing to do would be to restore balance and peace in the world and you know what Naga? I’m kind of part of disrupting that when things changed.” She slowly ran her hands through Naga’s fur, thinking, “I’m not afraid of death, you know? A world without demons is a world without me and maybe I’m okay with that and I hope that you would forgive me for saying this but it’s true.”
She wasn’t afraid of death that was true. She recalled the poison being made to destroy Muzan and she thought that if she did decide to help Tamayo that she would be the one to bring him down. She would be the one to drag the both of them to their deaths. He was a manipulator and even though he embraced her, it was built off of his own selfish reasons.
She looked at her sleeping companion, “If I die maybe I’ll finally be actually free. Being able to be free sounds nice girl, it really does.”
In her next life maybe, she would be able to live the way she wanted to. To fall in love with no worries, to make friends, to be around family, to be…normal.
But how did she want to live the rest of this life right now? She still didn’t want to bring the people around down with her and she still would leave so she wouldn’t hurt them but realizing that it would be painful now for her. It had to be done though. So maybe now she knew what she was going to do. Perhaps Tamayo was right, but she would talk to Asami tomorrow and decide.
The following night Asami had stayed true to her promise and she now found herself on the island looking for Korra. It was nighttime and she saw the kids running around playing with each other or more like Ikki and Meelo chasing one another while Jinora was laughing at their silly antics. She decided to ask Jinora where she could find Korra. Jinora had told her that they were all playing with each other earlier and that Korra was now probably at the meditation pavilion.
Asami made her way to the pavilion hoping that Korra would still be there and she was thankfully right. Korra was sitting on the railing looking at the sky. She looked so in thought that she didn’t want to interrupt the girl but then she looked her way with a gentle smile that made her melt.
Korra patted the space next to her, inviting Asami over who gladly took the open space. They sat in a comfortable silence looking up at the sky. Korra snuck a glance at Asami and she thought she looked beautiful. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail and she was wearing her future industries jacket and black pants. The moon was bright tonight and the way it reflected off Asami’s skin made her look ethereal. As if she knew she was staring at her, Asami met Korra’s eyes and asked her, “What are you thinking about?”
You.
It would be simple, but she had things she wanted to ask. “When you look at me, what do you see?”
Asami wasn’t expecting such a question but the answer was easy, “Korra.”
Korra tilted her head in confusion wondering if Asami meant that as an answer or not, “What?”
“I see you as Korra, a person who is headstrong, kind and determined.”
“Really? What about me being you know the Avatar and a demon?”
“Sure, you’re also those things but you’re also a person. A person who I’ve grown to care about.”
Asami words made her feel warm inside and she didn’t really know how to respond. A simple, “I see.” Is what came out and she smiled and Asami noticed that it reached her eyes.
Korra then looked away back at the sky wondering how she should bring up the rest of her thoughts. She grabbed her hand as if it were natural and intertwined their fingers once again.
“You know Asami, I still hate humans but,” she glanced at Asami from the corner of her eye, “I don’t hate you or Mako and Bolin or Tenzin and his family and my own. But you know sometimes I feel this emptiness of not belonging anywhere here with you all.”
Asami squeezed her hand letting her know that she could continue.
“I also have this responsibility of maintaining balance in the world and last night I figured out what has to be done,” she turned to look at Asami fully now, “what would you do if you were in my shoes?”
Asami had to think for a second as if she were the Avatar. “I think I would do what was best for the world and myself. I don’t think I could do something that didn’t seem right to me.”
Korra took her words into consideration. Asami was smart, brilliant actually and what she said made sense. Korra would do what she thought was right and by that she would finally be able to be free. She was going to rid the world of Muzan Kibutsuji and the rest of the demons, including herself. She would help Tamayo not because of Aang but for herself because this is what was right to her.
She felt Asami’s hand reach out to her cheek and wiped away a stray tear. Korra hadn’t realized she was crying.
“Are you alright?”
Korra wiped her eyes and lied, “Yeah, I’m fine.” No, because this is almost like our goodbye.
Asami had scooted closer to Korra and laid her head on her shoulder while tracing patterns on Korra’s hand. It was intimate and they both basked in the comfortable silence. She felt so whole with Asami by her side like she belonged here with her. Korra planted a kiss to the top of Asami’s head and said, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Asami gazed to where the moon was, and she agreed that it was. She felt Korra squeeze her hand and she looked up at her. Korra’s eyes showed tenderness but she could see a little bit of pain behind those sweet blue eyes. She wanted to kiss her till there was no longer pain behind those eyes. At their distance, either of them could close the gap. Asami a little too nervous and Korra refusing to because if she did, saying goodbye would be even harder.
They stayed there just a while longer until Korra noticed that Asami was looking a little tired. She offered the girl her room to sleep in and showed her the way.
When Asami stepped in she noticed that it was a little plain except for a single water scroll on a wall. She dropped her bag by the bed and wondered where Korra was going to stay. As if she read her mind, “I don’t sleep so I kind of just roam outside till it’s time for the sun to come up.”
“Will you stay till I fall asleep then?”
Korra smiled and thought it was cute of her, “Of course.”
Asami left to the bathroom to get ready for bed and when she came back, she saw Korra drinking out of a blood bag. Korra had noticed her and quickly finished the rest, “Ah, I’m so sorry!”
Asami just smiled at her, “Korra, it’s okay you know I understand.” She then walked over to Korra’s bed and tucked herself in.
Korra blushed and swiftly discarded the empty bag. She looked towards Asami who was starting to slowly fall asleep already. Korra thought she must’ve been tired from work today. She walked over to the bed and sat down on the ground. “You should rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Will you stay here till I wake up then?”
Korra wasn’t planning on leaving to roam around outside tonight so of course she would stay till she woke up. “I will, now,” she pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear and smiled, “go to sleep.”
“Good night, Korra.”
“Good night, Asami.”
This wasn’t her goodbye to her yet, but it almost felt like it. She wasn’t sure how much time she had left with Asami and everyone but right now should would cherish this moment.