"Sometimes we have to stop being scared and just go for it. Either it’ll work or it won’t. That’s life.”
— Unknown
The case hadn’t started out rough. In the beginning, they had been at a loss as to who the unsub was, but after Garcia worked her magic back at Quantico in Virginia, they had managed to get a name. Managing to get to the house where the unsubs daughter lived before he did was nothing short of good timing, and Emily had hoped for a good outcome.
After using Jody to try and lure Wade from his truck, something Emily had been against even though she knew it was the only way, it had gone to hell. She could tell how it would end from the words that fell from the young girl’s mouth.
“Are you going to the better place?” Jody had innocently asked her father.
“We’re both going to the better place, princess,” he had muttered.
Emily took the radio from Jody, turning the little girl away from the window. “Close your eyes, sweet pea,” she said quietly. She put her hands over the young girl’s ears, pulling her into her chest, doing her best to protect her from what was inevitably about to happen.
Outside could hear Morgan shouting, and then there was a gunshot; despite hearing multiple gunshots before, Emily still flinched. When Jody finally opened her eyes, Emily’s heart broke; she couldn’t believe how much hurt sat in Jody’s innocent, chocolate brown eyes.
The rest of the afternoon had passed by in a blur, social services had taken Jody, and before Emily knew it, they were back at the airstrip, on the jet heading back to Quantico. On the far side of the jet, Hotch was making a head start on the paperwork for the case so he could leave early enough to get home to Jack; Rossi and Reid sat opposite each other and were engaged in conversation. To her right, JJ laid on the sofa fast asleep, Emily’s black blazer covering the top half of her body.
Something about this case had struck Emily as she read through the Highway Serial Killings file. The initiative had been set up to help law enforcement connect the dots on killings that happened over multiple states. However, Emily knew that it still took a while for a pattern to emerge, which meant more people had to die before they could do something about it.
“What are you reading?” Derek sat opposite Emily, a hot mug of coffee in hand.
Holding up one of the files from their case, Emily sighed. “Do you know there’s probably half a dozen serial killers driving around right now?”
Derek squinted his eyes at the brunette, “What’s really bothering you?”
Emily hadn’t been in the team long, she was still classed as the newbie as far as she was concerned, but she was past letting it bother her. What did bother the agent was that no matter how much she tried to close herself off from the team, Derek always the one to see right through her.
“Jody lost her mom. Then her dad. And then the couple that was going to adopt her backed out,” she explained. “It’s all over the news. It’s just– It’s not fair.”
Derek leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Her aunt saw the story. She’d lost touch with Jody’s mom over the past few years, but she’s her only living relative, and she wants to raise Jody.”
Emily closed the file in front of her; she knew that there wasn’t anything the BAU could do to help Jody, but knowing she had one family member to go to felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. “Really?”
“Mhmm,” Derek said with a nod. “You know, Prentiss, when I think about all the things we see on a daily basis, all the bad, I’m still amazed at all the good.”
“Yeah, but… do you think it evens out?”
Derek smiled at Emily and then looked over to a sleeping JJ, noting that Emily followed his line of sight. He had suspicions that they were more than just friends, small touches and glances here and there when they thought someone wasn’t looking, and in the past four cases alone, they had always been the last ones to leave the airstrip.
Shaking his head at the dopey grin that had graced Emily’s face, he knew he was right. “I like to think the two of you are good.”
Emily turned back to Derek so fast she thought she could have given herself whiplash. “The– the two of us?” she questioned, her words coming out more strangled than she would have liked.
“You don’t have to admit anything to me, but whatever makes the two of you happy,” Derek laughed. “Know that I support the two of you, whatever you might be. After Will, you seem to put a smile back on her face.”
Derek’s words made Emily feel content. They hadn’t gotten around to telling the team about their relationship yet, it was still pretty new, and they had wanted a chance to figure out how they both felt, and telling the team made it seem more official than both of them had wished to at the time. Knowing that Derek at least could see that JJ was happier in recent months told Emily that she was doing the right thing, even though the voice in the back of her mind was telling her otherwise.
When Will had left JJ just after Henry was born, the blonde had been distraught. The whole team came together, helping her when they could, even though the blonde had insisted that she was okay. But one day, around three months ago, JJ had called Emily. The whole team had been given separate one week’s mandatory leave, and JJ’s week had come to an end. As she was about to head to work, her sitter had cancelled on her—being the only member of the team not in the office that week, Emily had offered to look after the then eleven-month-old for the day, and ever since then, they hadn’t looked back.
When the plane landed on the airstrip an hour later, JJ was still asleep on the sofa. The team said their goodbyes and filed off the plane one by one, leaving Emily to bring JJ back to the land of the living.
“JJ,” Emily said softly. When the blonde didn’t stir, Emily softly brushed blonde hair from JJ’s face—god, the woman was adorable when she slept. “Time to go home.”
JJ could feel the soft touch as she stirred, “Hmm,” she hummed, sitting up as she opened her eyes; she was surprised to find the plane empty, except for her and Emily. “Where is everyone?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.
Emily stood up, grabbing both go-bags, “Home, which is where I should get you.”
JJ swiftly complied, grabbing her coat and following Emily off the plane and to the car park, climbing in the passenger side of the SUV. A few seconds later, after throwing the go-bags in the back seat, Emily slid in the driver’s seat, starting the car as she fastened her seatbelt.
“You shouldn’t have let me sleep the whole flight back,” JJ said.
Emily looked over to the blonde, her hand moving from the steering wheel to JJ’s thigh, “The only time you ever get uninterrupted sleep is on that plane, I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
JJ took Emily’s hand, bringing it upwards, placing a kiss on the palm of her hand. “What would I do without you, Emily Prentiss?”
“You’d not have a constant supply of Cheetos, I’ll tell you that now,” Emily laughed, her thumb brushing gently against JJ’s pale skin. “I have to tell you something, Jayje.”
JJ dropped Emily’s hand, turning to look out the window of the SUV. Those words had brought nothing but pain for her in the past, and she didn’t think she could physically take any more hurt than she had been dealt in the past year. “What?” she said curtly.
Glancing over to the woman in the passenger seat, Emily saw a sudden shift in behaviour, and she knew that her girlfriend had instantly thought something terrible was going to be said. Emily placed her hand back on JJ’s thigh, rubbing the outside of her thigh with the pad of her thumb. “Morgan’s onto us,” she said quickly. “I tried to play him off, but I don’t think it worked.”
JJ sighed heavily, leaning her head back against the headrest with a chuckle. “That makes a lot of sense,” she admitted. Turning her head to face Emily, she laughed at the confusion written over the brunettes face. “Let’s just say that Penelope has been onto us from the start.”
“Really?”
“We aren’t as subtle as we thought we were at girls nights.”
Emily thought back to every single girls night that had been hosted in either her apartment or Garcia’s, how she had tried her hardest to keep her hands off JJ, sitting as far away from the blonde as she possibly could to avoid the temptation. She had no idea where they had gone wrong or what had made it so obvious, but for the second time that evening, Emily didn’t care—it was one last person that they needed to tell.
Pulling up to JJ’s apartment a few minutes later, Emily’s began to berate herself—she saw JJ every day at work, but no matter how many hours or cases they worked together, any time she had to drop JJ off made her heart heavy. Despite Henry only being young, Emily had tried to keep her distance, waiting until JJ was ready for her to be around her son more often. It had only been three months since they had started dating, and while she had been around Henry with the rest of the team, they had only been a select few times where it had only been her, JJ and Henry.
Emily leaned over the centre console, placing a soft kiss against JJ lips, something she had been dying to do ever since they had walked into the federal building two days ago. When JJ’s hand sneaked to the back of her neck, pulling her in and kissing her back eagerly, Emily couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she said softly when she pulled away; it was a pointless question on Emily’s behalf, but a selfish part of her just wanted to keep JJ for a few more minutes.
JJ leaned her forehead against Emily’s and sighed, “Why don’t you stay tonight?”
“What about Henry?”
Pulling back, JJ ran her fingers through her hair. “If the case we’ve just been on taught me anything, it’s that I want the best people around him,” she said. “And you, Emily Prentiss, are one of the best people I know.”
Emily didn’t need to be told twice, so she parked the car around to the back of JJ’s house while the blonde ran into the house to relieve the babysitter. As she walked up the back garden pathway, she began to pick at her skin around her thumbs.
No matter how long she had waited, Emily felt anxious about being a more permanent figure in Henry’s life. Growing up, she had moved from country to country, never really putting down any roots or being anywhere long enough to form familial bonds. With being an only child and with what little there was to the Prentiss family overall, she had only seen them at Christmas or special occasions, so she had never really bonded with the younger cousins of the family. This, being JJ’s girlfriend, was scary, and Emily found herself stood in the middle of the garden, teeth gnawing at the already sore skin around her thumbnail, her brain unable to communicate with her feet to walk herself inside the house.
“Emily?”
Emily snapped out of her thoughts, smiling when her eyes found JJ standing at the back door, Henry poking his head between her legs. “Yeah, sorry,” she said quickly as she walked towards the house.
JJ stepped backwards to let Emily in the house, “Everything okay?”
Shoving her hands in her back pockets to hide the evidence of her nervousness, Emily nodded quickly. She stepped into the house, suddenly feeling like a stranger in the house that felt more like home than her own apartment.
“Mama,” Henry tugged the bottom of JJ’s slacks and reached his arms up.
JJ smiled as she picked her son up, balancing him on her hip, any time she left for a case, she missed him, and as he grew, she just missed him even more. “Hi, baby star. Do you remember Emily?”
Henry cocked his head to the side and looked at JJ curiously, then turned his attention to Emily. He studied her for a few seconds before smiling. “Dino?” he asked, holding out the t-rex plushie that he took everywhere, a toy that Garcia had gifted him a few months ago.
Emily took the plushie, holding it by the arms, making one of them wave at Henry. “Hello,” she said in a goofy voice, Henry giggling immediately.
The next few hours had been domestic bliss for JJ. Henry had no problem with Emily’s presence, and her heart had warmed the moment Emily had stepped foot in her home and interacted with her son. Emily had cooked dinner for the three of them, leaving JJ to spend some much needed time with Henry, and then they had eaten together.
Cooking up a quick pasta and meatballs, only pasta and sauce for Henry, Emily had thought it was a good idea, fast and straightforward. That was until they had sat down at the table—JJ had eyed up her choice for an evening meal, and she had panicked, thinking Henry wasn’t old enough to eat what she had cooked. After JJ soothed her fears, they had tucked in, and it didn’t take long for Emily to realise why spaghetti and sauce was a bad idea.
Less than five minutes after they had sat down, Henry was covered in food. Tomato sauce covered most of his face, both of his hands and somehow stands of spaghetti had ended up stuck to Emily’s sweater.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Emily said, finding yet another piece of pasta stuck to her sweater.
JJ loaded the last of the pots into the dishwasher. “Babies are messy, Em, I thought you knew that,” she held her hand over her mouth to hide her laugh.
Emily closed the short distance between her and JJ, pulling the blondes back flush against her body, her arms wrapped around JJ’s mid-section. Resting her chin on the younger agents shoulder, she pressed a soft kiss on her jawline. “You could have saved a whole lot of clean up.”
“It was worth it.”
When the rest of the kitchen was cleaned, and Henry had been bathed and dressed in his pyjamas, Emily insisted JJ take a shower herself, stating that she could look after the toddler for a while.
JJ agreed quickly, knowing that her son was in safe hands and that it gave her time to think about the events that had unfolded over the past few months. After Will had up and moved back to New Orleans, JJ had resigned herself to being a single mom, thinking she would never find the family unit she had craved since she was a little girl. Seeing Emily with Henry gave her hope, and while she tried her best not to get her hopes up too far, on days like today, she couldn’t help it.
After drying herself off and slipping into a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt, JJ made her way back downstairs, following the incoherent chatter of Henry. For a moment, JJ stood in the threshold between the living room and hallway, watching Emily with her son—Henry was pitting two different dinosaurs in a fight against each other. At the same time, Emily sat cross-legged in front of him, donning one of the foam dinosaur masks she had put in the party bags for his first birthday.
“Hi,” JJ said softly from the doorway.
Emily turned quickly, the blood rushing to her cheeks as she took off the mask. “I– uh–”
“Don’t stop of my behalf,” JJ said with a smile. She crossed the room, sitting down next to Emily. “You make a pretty stegosaurus,” she said, nudging Emily’s shoulder with her own.
Emily looked at the mask and then at JJ, “You know the name of the dinosaur?”
“I know all the dinosaurs,” JJ boasted with a laugh. “Henry watches the same dinosaur show at least four times a day. You’ll be an expert soon enough.”
“Mama,” Henry muttered, climbing into JJ’s lap and resting his head in the crook of her shoulder with a yawn.
“Looks like it’s time for bed, little man,” JJ placed a kiss on Henry’s head as she stood up.
With Henry already being so tired, JJ knew it would be a relatively easy bedtime for once. Despite Henry being a good sleeper, sleeping through the night most nights, she still struggled to get him down unless he was utterly exhausted—lately, he had been getting better, but JJ knew there was still a long road to go.
When JJ excused herself so she could put Henry to bed, Emily wasn’t sure what to do. Earlier in the car, JJ had asked her to stay, but she wasn’t sure whether she meant for dinner or overnight, and she didn’t want to overstay her welcome and make herself seem like the needy girlfriend. As she waited for the blonde to come back, Emily emptied the dishwasher to pass the time, and before she knew it, she could hear gentle footsteps coming back down the stairs.
“You didn’t have to do that,” JJ said as she walked into the room.
Emily shrugged her shoulders with a smile, “It’s fine.”
From across the room, JJ could see that something was bothering Emily, but she had no idea how to broach the subject without sounding too intrusive. JJ knew that Emily was a private person—it took over six months of friendship before she learnt anything about the brunette. Up until that fateful girls night where Emily had one too many glasses of wine, all anyone knew was that she was the daughter of Ambassador Prentiss and that she had moved around a lot as a child.
Ever since that night, JJ had tried her best to get to know the Emily Prentiss outside of the BAU. She had succeeded in a sense because she knew more about Emily than any other member of the team—she knew that when Emily was concentrating hard on something she loved, she furrowed her brows and bit the inside of her lip. JJ also knew that despite the coffee-loving woman Emily claimed to be, she enjoyed a cup of steaming tea just before she went to bed. Still, the thing that JJ loved most about Emily was that when the brunette didn’t think anyone in the team was looking, she always found small ways to be close to JJ.
“Talk to me,” JJ said softly. Sitting down at the breakfast bar, the younger agent pulled out the other chair, motioning for Emily to sit.
Emily walked around the kitchen island, sitting across from JJ in silence. Instinctively, her hand made its way to JJ’s thigh, her thumb rubbing across a now-bare thigh. “There’s nothing to talk about,” Emily tried her best to sound convincing, but she couldn’t even look JJ in the eye as she spoke.
“Emily,” JJ scolded. Emily’s eyes snapped up. “Talk to me. What’s making you nervous?”
Emily cocked her head to the side, “How did you know I was nervous?”
JJ took Emily’s hand, her thumb softly running over the forming scab on Emily’s thumb. “You bite your nails when you’re stressed or nervous, even when there’s nothing left to bite, you still go to town on your thumbs.”
Emily pulled her hand away from JJ, doing her best to hide the offending hand. “Looks like we have a new profiler on our hands,” Emily tried to joke, but her words fell on deaf ears; JJ just looked at her, waiting.
“So talk to me,” JJ repeated. “You’ve been fine up until tonight. What’s bothering you? Have I done something wrong?”
“No!” Emily said quickly, shaking her head. “You could never. You’re perfect, Jennifer.”
“Emily,” JJ all but whispered. Sliding down from the chair, she settled herself between Emily’s legs, her hand reaching up to tuck Emily’s hair behind her ear. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Emily closed her eyes and sighed, her forehead falling against JJ’s. “I just, uh, I’ve never really had a family before,” she admitted. “I know I have my mother, but the team, you, feel more like family than she ever has, and I guess I’m just scared of screwing it up. God knows that’s what I’m best at.”
“Emily…”
“I don’t want you to wake up one morning and realise that I’m not good enough to be around Henry, because if I did have to walk away, I think it would destroy me.”
JJ tilted Emily’s chin so that she could look in the chocolate brown eyes she adored so much. “I told you earlier, I only want the best people around Henry, and if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about that, I wouldn’t have asked you to stay tonight.”
Emily smiled, though it didn’t really reach her eyes, and she knew that she had to try her hardest to break all the bad habits she had when it came to relationships. In the few months that they had been dating, Emily already knew she didn’t want anyone else; for her, JJ was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
“I love you, Emily Prentiss, I have done for a long while, and I plan on loving you for a lot longer.”