Romana throws the book onto the floor of her office in disgust, knocking over a lamp in the process.
“Ugh!” She exclaims. “How utterly revolting.”
“Hm?” Leela asks, looking up at Romana from her seat on the floor. “What is it Romana?”
“That book.” Romana wrinkles her nose up in disgust. “Some fictional nonsense.”
“What about?” Leela asks curiously.
Romana shrugs. “Not certain, it was incredibly dull. But about halfway through it started with this utterly vile rubbish about… oh you don’t even want to know.”
Leela gets up and moves over to where the book had landed, curious. “I am intrigued now Romana. You must tell me.” She picks up the book and brings it over to Romana, looking for the page she had been on. “Where was it?”
“About halfway in, if you’re desperate to look.” Romana looks away, feeling a little sick.
Leela laughs when she opens the book. “Romana I did not know you liked picture books.”
Romana shrugs, too disgusted to form a comeback.
“I cannot find what you mean.” Leela sighs. “Can you just tell me what you saw?”
“No.”
“Please?” Leela bats her eyelids at Romana, making her hearts each skip a beat.
“Oh alright.” Romana sighs. “But prepare yourself, this isn’t nice.”
Leela grins and puts down the book.
“In that book, there was a short paragraph about… breasts.” Romana could already feel herself going red as she spoke. “And it stated, well, it claimed that in that strange fictional world, breasts could… leak.”
Leela frowns. “What do you mean?”
Romana looks down at her lap, certain she was bright red. “It said that breasts could secrete milk. Of course that's just nonsense, but I can’t help but imagine it. Doesn’t help that there’s diagrams in there showing how it happens.”
Leela stares at Romana, very clearly holding back a laugh. “Romana?”
“What?”
“You know that breasts do actually do that?” She smiles as she talks. “That’s not made up. You know that, right?”
“Oh don’t be silly.” Romana scoffs. “Milk coming out of a person? That’s just barmy.”
Leela giggles and looks at the cover of the book, and then proceeds to laugh even more. “Romana!”
“What?” Romana frowns, curious what Leela was finding so amusing.
“This is not fiction.” Leela laughs. “This is a science book.”
“Oh don’t be silly of course-” Romana stops mid sentence when Leela shows her the cover. It did indeed say GCSE Biology Grade 6 on the front. “But that's… oh, but that's disgusting!” She scrunches up her face in disgust. “Are you telling me that you can squirt milk out your- your- you know.” Romana gestures frantically at Leela’s chest area.
“My tits?” Leela laughs. “Yes! Well only if someone wants to drink from them.”
“Oh that's vile!” Romana gags.
“You can probably do it too!” Leela says adamantly.
“I hardly think so.” Romana scoffs. “In the two centuries I’ve been alive I can assure you I have never had any milk leaking from my nipples.”
“Well maybe you have just never had to.” Leela remarks.
“Why would I have to!?” Romana asks frantically. “Why would anybody have to?!”
“To feed.” Leela shrugs. “Mostly newborns, but also anyone else too if they really want to.”
Romana gags yet again. “Well I don’t want anyone drinking out of my nipples! Why would anyone want that?!”
“That is not what you were saying last night.” Leela remarks.
Romana goes even redder, which should have been impossible at that point but she somehow manages it. “That is different! And irrelevant!”
Leela smirks. “Well who would have known that the all-knowing President Romana did not know what lactation was. Next you will be telling me that you do not know that babies come out of vaginas.”
“BABIES COME OUT OF WHAT?!”