Joye

Matthew managed to get to the waiting room asking someone to take him there.

He was obviously still in shock. Everything had happened so quickly.

He entered the small room, smiling at Owen, who was playing with another girl on the carpet. As soon as the little one saw him, he snapped up and ran towards him, jumping on him.

Matthew grabbed him, squeezing him to his chest. Little Bea, who was in the arms of one of the nursery nannies, wriggled into the woman's arms and stumbled towards her uncle. Matthew lowered himself just in time to pick up the child and then sat down on one of the chairs, with both nephews in his arms.

"How's aunt Lucie?" Owen asked in a small voice, almost as if he were afraid of the answer.

Matthew sighed, struggling to smile. "JJ is throwing a tantrum and won't come out," he said, chuckling at Owen's frown. "Or rather, she wants to come out, but she's doing it the wrong way, so auntie needs an extra hand. But the doctors are good." he explained, trying to convince himself it was true. They're doctors. They know what they're doing.

The fact that Dr. Chapman wasn't there was making him a little nervous. She had followed the whole pregnancy, and they even made the birth plan, even though they knew things could change any minute. But at least she knew Lucie, she knew what her worries were, what problems she had had during the last few months.

His heart started beating fast again. He had to calm down.

He looked at the two children, who had collapsed on him and were holding hands. That vision lightened some of the weight in his chest.

"I have to call someone, can you wait here for a while?" he asked, getting up without waiting for an answer. Owen nodded, going back to the little girl he was playing with earlier and Bea was taken by one of the nannies. Matthew thanked her with a simple nod and a soft smile.

He left the room and headed out into the fresh air. He needed a moment alone.

He reached the car and got in, moving it from where he had left it in the middle of the road and parked it where he could. He turned it off and picked up the phone with a trembling breath.

He quickly dialed James's number and, after a couple of rings, his best friend's cheerful voice answered. "What, you can't keep two kids an entire afternoon anymore? Joye's gonna be here any day now and you're not gonna get fr-"

Matthew interrupted him. "We're at the hospital. Lucie is having the baby."

Silence. He heard someone apologizing and then some muffled noises. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. Please come here." a sob broke that thin bubble of tranquility he had created. "Lucie is in surgery. The baby is breech and she’s having a c-section."

Matthew, who was crying now, squeezed into his shoulders. "I don't know what to do, Jamie."

"I'm coming, Math." he heard James say. "Have you called Mom and Dad yet? Your parents?"

"No, the surgery just started," he said, remembering one thing, "Your kids are with nurses, don't worry."

James laughed lightly, but he didn't seem amused at all. Matthew heard a door slam. "I'm not worried about my kids. I know the nannies keep them for you. We left them Owen when Bea was born."

Matthew ran his hand over his face, sobbing. "I don't know what to do." he repeated.

"I know, Math. Try to calm down in the meantime. I'll warn the others, alright? You try to distract yourself with my kids, if you can." suggested him. He could have done that. He could have at least tried.

He ended the call and decided to go back in case someone came looking for him and he wasn't there. He started running towards the entrance. How stupid, what if something happened while he wasn't there?

He reached the waiting room and was relieved not to see a doctor waiting for him.

He waved to Owen with one hand and took Bea in his arms. She was tired and hungry and fussing in his arms. He placed his hand on her back, rocking her gently. "I know, love, I know." he whispered in her hair. "Soon your daddy will come and you can eat all you want. You just have to hold on a few more minutes."

He looked at the clock on the wall. Less than ten minutes had passed.

He knew the c-section was a normally quick procedure. That the baby was born between ten and fifteen minutes.

He started cradling Bea a little more frantically.

He was trying not to think of Lucie, on a hospital bed, with her belly open, crying alone in that operating room, but it was difficult for him. He tried not to think about his daughter, little Joye, who was being taken out of her crib, that had been her home for the last nine months and who could not be with her mother except for mere seconds. He held Bea tighter to his chest, and the baby took the pacifier out of her mouth, resting it on his neck.

He shuddered at the sensation of the baby's drool dripping into his shirt, but he smiled with watery eyes when Bea pulled herself slightly away from his chest and pushed the pacifier against his chin, missing a few inches from his mouth.

"No thanks, baby." he said, kissing her cheek. "I'll pass."

Bea, who understood everything with impressive rapidity despite her almost three years of age, put it back in her mouth and leaned her head in the hollow of his neck, slurring a silent 'okay'.

Another ten minutes went by and he was starting to fret. Why wasn't anybody calling him? Why weren't they telling him how Lucie was doing?

"Matthew."

He almost burst into tears at the sound of her mother's voice. He turned to the door and there, in all her grace, was Charlotte Fairchild. The woman gave him a worried smile and then Matthew found himself in his mother's arms.

"How are you?" she asked, as she pulled away and took Bea from his arms. The little girl, who had fallen asleep in the meantime, wailed a little as she was passed by, but closed her eyes as soon as she touched her acquired grandmother's shoulder.

"Bad," he said sincerely. "Lucie has been in there for almost half an hour and I know nothing."

Charlotte seemed thoughtful as she swung left and right to keep Bea asleep. "I'm sure everything is going well. When I gave birth to Charles, I was in surgery just for an hour. Joye's definitely already born. They must be checking her," she said, putting her hand on his arm. "Don’t worry."

Matthew looked at her, leaning against the wall. Charlotte gave him another smile and then walked towards Owen.

"Where's dad?" he asked, curious as to why they hadn't arrived together.

His mother didn't even look at him as he put the child down and handed her a toy car to play with. "He's on his way. He was with Will and Tessa. They should be here any minute."

He paused, hesitant. "And Charles?"

"I warned him as soon as I arrived. He hasn't answered me yet." this time she looked him in the eye and Matthew puffed, anxious. He didn't particularly want to see Charles, but his daughter was born and would have liked him to be there with them, despite everything he had put Thomas and Alastair through. He was still his brother, he was part of the family.

He went out of the waiting room, running his hand through his hair. How could it be so stressful for him, when the one who was suffering was Lucie? When the one who had just been deprived of the joy of natural childbirth was the mother of his daughter?

"Math."

Before he could turn around, James' arms were holding him. He opened his eyes wide, holding his friend in turn, looking into the eyes of a worried Cordelia. She had one hand to her neck, holding the daisy necklace that Jamie had given her.

He released a trembling breath, before holding James tighter and burst into tears.

"It's okay." he muttered to him. "It's alright. Lucie and Joye will be alright."

Matthew cried louder and then felt Cordelia join in the embrace. She was crying, too. He could feel it as his friend's body trembled to the rhythm of his own, shaken by sobs.

James pulled away and grabbed Matthew by the shoulders. His eyes were red, but he wasn't crying. His gaze shifted to something behind the blond. "Why don't you go meet your daughter?" he soothed.

Matthew turned around and one of the doctors who had gone with Lucie smiled at him. "Pleasure, I'm Dr. Johnson, I'm the midwife who delivered your daughter. Your wife is still in surgery, they're closing her up, but she asked us to tell you that you can see the baby. They're both fine." she told him in a calm but excited voice.

Matthew sobbed, holding his hand over his mouth, nodding.

He turned one last time to James and Cordelia and she said, "Go on, don't keep her waiting, I'm sure she's just as excited to meet her father as he is."

He was about to say something, but Owen came out of the waiting room and jumped on his father's arms. James grabbed him and laughed and twirled him in the air.

"Daddy!" cried the boy. Cordelia went into the room and took Bea from his mother's arms. He saw the moment Cordelia told Charlotte that Joye was born because the new grandmother had also burst into tears and had both hands to her face.

The doctor pointed him down the hall, "This way."

"Wait a minute, sorry." The woman signaled to him that there was no problem.

Charlotte hugged him tightly, congratulating him, like everyone else present. Two fathers who were waiting there also gave him a nod of sympathy.

Matthew approached James and Owen and his best friend smiled at him as he had not done in a long time. He turned to the little boy in James' arms, "Did I promise you you'd see JJ first or not?"

Owen squeaked into his father's arms and almost fell to the ground. He grabbed his uncle's pants with both hands, eyes and mouth wide open. "Yes. Please."

Then he turned to the doctor, worried he'd promised something he shouldn't have, "Can he come too?"

She smiled, "Sure."

Owen started jumping, screaming like a pterodactyl.

"But you have to be quiet because there are a lot of very small children sleeping, okay?" the doctor warned him. Owen shook his head, pretending to sew his mouth shut.

They started walking and Matthew could feel James's look burning on his back.

He was a father. He was about to meet his daughter.

Owen was jumping next to him, almost unable to contain the emotion, and Matthew was a little jealous he couldn't jump too, or they'd think he was crazy.

Joye was born.

His Joye.

Without even realizing it, he sought the hand of his nephew, who without even asking himself too many questions, took it and gave him a smile that went from ear to ear. He knew that the others were happy for him and Lucie, but he was satisfied with the reaction his nephew was having for the birth of his child. He was a perfect brother to Bea, he knew he would be just as perfect for little Joye.

Yet Matthew was torn between waiting for Lucie to come out so that they could meet their daughter together and doing it all by himself. He had seen that, in movies, the baby was given to the mother for a few seconds, right after birth, so he knew that Lucie had already met her, but this was different. They should have seen her together.

He just wanted to see Lucie. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That she was a superhero for what she had just done.

Dr. Johnson turned left a couple of times and then they took the stairs. They went up two floors and then Matthew got lost. Owen was particularly quiet and the new daddy was trying to keep the excited giggles threatening to come out of his mouth. His heart was beating so fast that he wondered how others could not hear him.

How could the world go on undisturbed when the most beautiful thing in his life had just made its first appearance on this planet? How could everyone keep walking or running towards their goals without feeling their legs give in under the enormity of everything that had just happened?

How could Lucie, the woman to whom Matthew had given heart and soul, not be worshiped for what she had just given him?

Luce, my Lu.

How come they were all going the other way? How could it be that the invisible force that was pushing him towards his daughter was only pulling him?

Johnson stopped in front of a glass door and turned towards the two males, who were both dying of emotion. "The girl is probably doing her last checks, but you can go in and see her quietly. It's the second room on the right. I'm going to check how Lucie is going and I'll come over, okay?" she asked, rubbing her hands on her scrubs.

"Sure. Thank you very much." replied Matthew with his heart in his throat.

She ducked her head and smiled and then opened the door with a pass, letting them in alone.

From there, the hallway seemed to never end and he could hear more children crying than he had ever seen in his entire life. He could smell Bea's head everywhere. It was overwhelming.

Owen was pulling him to the room where Joye would be, but for him, it was all going slow. As soon as he walked through that door, he'd be in the same room with his daughter.

His eyes filled with tears. Maybe he had been wrong to bring Owen. Maybe he should have gone back and left him with James and Cordelia. He should have met Joye alone.

Before he could think about it, he found himself in front of the room, and Owen had let go of his hand, running to the smallest crib he'd ever seen.

A doctor was keeping a hand on the little white bundle inside of it. The hand so big compared to that little thing.

He took two unsteady steps to the crib, and the doctor noticed someone had walked in when Owen grabbed onto the woman's pants, "Is Joye in there?"

She seemed taken by surprise and gasped a couple of times before turning to the father. A wide smile opened on the woman's lips. "You must be Matthew. Lucie wouldn't stop talking about you during the surgery," she told him, but he kept his eyes fixed on that milk-white blanket. He saw her move and burst into tears as he laughed and took a stride to his daughter.

And there she was.

Her skin red and her eyes wide open, light-colored, looking at everything without really seeing anything. She held up her hand over the head and her little fingers opened and closed. Her mouth was open and she was babbling. She was probably hungry.

His vision blurred and he let a choked laugh out. He put his hand over his face, turning to the doctor, "Can I hold her?"

"Of course." she replied promptly, "Have you ever held a newborn? Do you know how to hold her head without hurting her?" she asked, making sure Matthew knew what to do.

"I- yes. I've picked up a lot of babies, I have a lot of nephews, you know. This is Owen, and he's one of the oldest. Then there's Aaron, Elise, Amélie - Elise's twin sister - and Isidore and Bea. Sweet little Bea..." Matthew was blurting nonsense with tears flowing undisturbed, but he couldn't get over the fact that the sweet, silent creature they'd waited so long for was really there. "And now our beautiful Joye."

At the sound of her father's voice saying her name, the girl turned to him. He knew she couldn’t see him, but that little gesture warmed his heart.

"I want to see her, uncle!"

"Come, can I lift you up?" the woman asked him. Owen seemed to think about it a little, and then he turned to Matthew, who nodded in between a sob and another. "My name is Anne."

Owen he blew out his cheeks, "My aunt's name is Anna, too, but with two As" he chuckled as she lifted him. "That's a pretty name." he whispered to her when he was near her face. She blushed. Matthew let out a laugh. Like father, like son.

"She looks like grandma Tessa." Owen said then. Matthew didn't know whether it was an insult, considering that all children always looked like old men, with all the wrinkles they had when they were born and that lost look, or simply a fact, but he had said it with so much love in his voice.

Joye squirmed in the cot, and Matthew stretched himself over her, putting his hand under her neck and head. The other went behind her back, to support her back, but she was so small that his hands touched each other, and he was quite sure he could hold her with one hand, perhaps when she grew stronger and he would not risk breaking her if he touched her.

He positioned her against his chest and sat in the chair where mothers usually sit to breastfeed.

He brushed her cheek. It was so smooth and soft. Joye grimaced.

Owen, meanwhile, had complained that he had barely seen her and was looking for a way to climb into the armrest of the chair. As soon as he perched on her uncle's shoulder, she sighed, "She's as beautiful as grandma Tessa, too."

Matthew laughed, making Joye shake a little, "It's true. She has aunt Lucie's nose though." Anne had gone out and left them alone.

"Can I touch her?"

"Are your hands clean?" he asked without taking his eyes off the girl. She was gaping like a fish and it was mesmerizing. Owen nodded his head. "No, you haven’t washed them, buddy. You just touched a whole hospital, basically."

"Then your hands are dirty too!" the child accused him.

Matthew made a grimace that was his daughter's twin. "You're right."

"Mhmh."

"Alright, but not the mouth or the hands," he said, settling down so that Owen was closer to Joye. "And be careful with her head."

"I know. Mom told me we can't play together because she's too small and the head is too big." he continued as he extended a chubby little hand towards his cousin's arm. The boy doubted whether Cordelia had used those exact words, but nodded. Owen grazed her with his fingertips, as if afraid of hurting her. "Dad" he whispered this time, "also told me that little kids can't see us. And that they have a hole in their head." Matthew chuckled.

They remained silent for some time. Owen continued to caress his daughter gently.

God, he couldn't believe it. She was so beautiful. So little.

And it was theirs. His and Lucie's.

"She looks a little like Bea, too."

Matthew frowned, coming out of that strange trance he was in. He turned to Owen, "What are you even talking about?"

Owen seemed offended and pouted, "She has blue eyes like Bea."

Matthew turned to his daughter who had her eyes wide open. That was clearly a green. A green destined to turn as dark as his. "No, Owy, they're green."

"You're just jealous because she doesn’t look like you." he retorted.

The blond snorted, but before he could answer, a voice he knew all too well answered by the door. "You're so right, Owen. He's just jealous because JJ looks exactly like me."

Matthew's head snapped up as his eyes filled with tears again. She smiled at him with eyes just as glossy.

"Lucie."