ObiKaka-My Heart is Glass
Kakashi looked up to the door, Obito is coming up. He uncrossed his legs and made his way back to his room. Soon after he closed his bedroom’s room, he heard the entrance door opens and the Uchiha walks in. He leaned his back against the door and slides down to the floor. He listens to the sounds his lover made beyond the door and waits. Soon enough, he heard the other opened and closed another door. The silver haired looked out the windows, just like the other days.
It’s a recurring pattern by now. Obito goes out in the morning, even days he was supposed to be off, and returned late at night. Then the man would go to his own room without checking with Kakashi. It has been going like this for two months. He doesn’t know what Obito did, but he knows who Obito was with these last two months. Kakashi walks up to the window, his eyes roaming to the small frames under it. To the farthest left was picture of him and his father, taken a few months before the day he lost his father.
Next to it was his old team’s picture. Obito and him was such a brat that day. Minato-sensei looked so embarrassed. Next to it was a picture of Kakashi and Tenzou, standing between Sandaime-sama. It was taken a few days after Tenzou was rescued from Anbu Root. Next to it was the last one, taken one year ago. A picture of Obito and him, both were smiling at the camera, Obito’s arm was over Kakashi’s shoulder. That was taken a month after they decided to move in together, to start a new life as soulmates.
They were so happy, or at least he thought Obito was happy with him. Kakashi knows it was too good to be true. He doesn’t deserve the Uchiha, after all it was Kakashi that killed Rin. Fate decided they were soulmate, but even Gods realized he’s not worthy of Obito’s love. That’s why they send her to them. A kind and strong woman, who is not Rin but somehow painfully feels like Rin. Even though Kakashi stood by Obito’s side all this time, even though he fought for Obito’s affection, she easily caught the Uchiha’s heart.
Kakashi slides into his bed, he won’t cry. Obito deserve happiness, and he couldn’t be happy if he stays with the person that killed the girl that he loved. If only Obito is a cruel person, he would have thrown Kakashi away. So it’s his duty to cut this off. Obito will be hurt, but he has that woman to comfort him. He will thank Kakashi in the long run, and forget about him. It’s fine, he is not a stranger to heartbreak and loneliness. He will do it. Kakashi closed his eyes and let the darkness swallow him.
Kakashi stares blankly at the bowl of cold soup in front of him. Obito was late again. Today was the day, he decided that he will end all of this today. The Uchiha returned from a mission this morning, so Kakashi waits for him in their joined apartment. But Obito didn’t come home at all. Kakashi wonders if he was injured, but none of their friends had called for him. Perhaps Obito was caught up by other things, like reporting to the Hokage and other stuff. So Kakashi waits like he had been doing the last two months.
It was almost eleven at night, his dinner has long become cold, untouched. He didn’t have much appetite these days. Kakashi stood and took his bowl, decided to pour the thing out, when the entrance’s doorknob rattled. His breath stilled and he could feel the way his heart beats faster. The door opened, and he felt the panic rising inside him. He put the bowl back on the table and ran to his room. He leaned his back against the door and listened to the sounds the other person made.
He slides down the door when he heard another door being closed. Kakashi closed his eyes and curled into himself. He is pathetic. He decided to talk to Obito today, but he got scared and decided to hide instead. He is selfish, and cowards. Kakashi didn’t bring himself to the bed that night. He fell asleep on the floor, still curled against the door like a child. But he woke up when he heard the entrance door was closed shut. Obito has left, even though today is his off day. He tried not to think too much of it.
Kakashi finally left his apartment after two weeks. He rarely come out now, only emerged for missions or to answer the Hokage’s call. He doesn’t want to see Obito with her in Ichiraku, he doesn’t want to see Obito walking with her with a smile. He doesn’t want to start thinking where else did Obito go with her. Did he bring that woman to the park where they used to watch children plays? Did he bring that woman to the yakiniku shop where they used to eat together just the two of them?
He walks through the village with his head lowered and eyes to the ground. He crossed paths with Asuma and Kurenai, the two were on a date. He saluted the two but didn’t stop to talks, doesn’t want to disturb their time. When he reached the Hokage’s office, he knocked twice before letting himself in. Minato sensei looked up with a tired smile and Kakashi returned the gesture with a small bow. Nara Shikaku glanced briefly at the jounin before returning to his own paper.
“Kakashi, thank you for coming so quick,” Minato said.
Kakashi nodded, “it’s not a problem, Hokage-sama. What seems to be the problem?”
Minato sighed and made a small pout. Next to him, Shikaku chuckled and shook his head. “You see, the thing is, it’s been a while since you visit my house. And Naruto really misses you and Pakkun. He keeps asking me when Kashi-nii will play with him again. I told him you are busy, but Naruto said it’s my fault you are too busy to visit him,” the blonde hung his head in defeat. Shikaku snorted and send Kakashi an amused look. Sometimes he wonders if the advisor is a masochist that enjoys seeing his Hokage’s misery.
“I can visit him today, if that’s alright,” the silver haired said hesitantly. As expected, Minato looked up to him and beamed his blinding smile.
“Really? Thank you, Kakashi!”
That’s how Kakashi found himself in front of the Namikaze’s house. He could hear Naruto’s loud chattering from inside, the boy’s personality is a carbon copy of his mother. He knocked twice and didn’t have to wait long for the door to opened. Surprisingly, the person behind the door was Itachi, someone who doesn’t live here. Itachi looked surprised to see him as well. But he allowed Kakashi in, and politely nodded at the older man. Kushina’s loud voice comes from inside, asking who was at the door.
“Kushina-san, it’s me,” he answered. The redhead quickly popped out from the kitchen; she was wearing a dim yellow apron and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She smiles widely at him and rushed forward to pulled him into a tight embrace.
“Kakashi-kun! Thank you for coming, it feels like forever since I last saw you!” she laughed as she swings their body together. He chuckled softly, enjoying the warmth despite the embarrassment. Fortunately, Itachi had left the two alone, went somewhere inside the house. Kushina pulled back and looked around before settling on Kakashi, her hands still on his arms. “Oh, did you come alone? That Minato, I told him to give you two a day off together ttebane!” she huffed a little upset.
Kakashi smiles slightly, ignoring the pang of hurt inside his chest. “Sorry, Kushina-san. Maybe next time,” he hopes she couldn’t see through his act. Kushina nodded and pulled him to another room, it’s Naruto’s playroom. When he passed through the door, he saw Naruto talking to Itachi, and another boy who looked like Itachi, sitting under the window. When Naruto turned, the boy bloomed into a wide smile, and he rushed to Kakashi. The silver haired knelt to let the boy tackled him into a hug.
The other boy who looked like Itachi turned out to be Sasuke, Itachi’s baby brother. Sasuke was nothing like Itachi, he was short tempered and love to annoy Naruto. And just like almost every Uchiha he knows, Sasuke is also a cat person. Despite that, the two boys were delighted when Kakashi summoned his dogs. They play chase, then hide and seek, with Naruto as the chaser and finder. Sasuke stood by the boy, commentating every move he made. Kushina said the two bickers like Obito and Kakashi used to.
He doesn’t want to remember about the past, but if he could turn back the time, he wishes to return. To those days when Rin was still with them and Obito still didn’t know that they’re soulmates. A tug on his hand pulled him out of his thought, he looked to the side to find Kushina staring at him in concern. “You know you can talk to me, Kakashi-kun. I won’t tell anyone, not even Minato,” she said, gripping his hands in what she hoped to be comforting. Kakashi shook his head and gave her a small smile.
He wonders if talking will take the loneliness away. He wonders if telling Kushina that Obito has found happiness in another person will make him feel better. Rin used to say that sharing her feelings makes her feels better. Kakashi took Kushina’s hands and swings their arms together. That made the redhead sighed and allowed a giggle to escape her mouth. Their antics was cut short when Naruto shrieked loudly. They dropped their hands and rushed to find the boy, only to find him being squished by the dogs while Sasuke laughs at him.
Time quickly passed as he watches Pakkun made fun of Sasuke and Naruto. It was almost six, the street is getting dark. Sasuke has fallen asleep, so Itachi carry his brother on his back and thanked Kushina for allowing his brother to play with Naruto. Kakashi told Kushina that he will send the two boys back home, an excuse to escape from her. She reluctantly let him go, after she forced him to promise he will visit them more often. He left Pakkun with them for one night, because Naruto refused to let the pug go, even though the boy was sleeping.
The road was bussing with life even though the day was coming to end. He glanced at Itachi, and at Sasuke sleeping peacefully on his back. Kakashi offered to carry his brother, but the boy refused politely.
“Sasuke always wake up grumpier when someone else carry him,” Itachi said with a soft smile.
Obito once told him that Itachi’s brother was very possessive of his brother, he said it was funny to watch Sasuke glare at everyone who dares to come near Itachi while hiding behind his brother. Kakashi looked down, after feeling Itachi’s stubborn gaze on him. He hummed questioningly at the younger shinobi. Itachi didn’t act embarrassed at being caught, he only stares harder at the silver haired jounin. Kakashi always know the boy was older than his age, his wisdom is far beyond a boy and a chuunin.
“Kakashi-senpai,” Itachi started to call him that because Shisui used to be Kakashi’s junior in anbu, and the two Uchiha are best friends. He already knows from the first time he meets Itachi, that Shisui is a bad influence on the boy. The older Uchiha was an excellent shinobi, but a very annoying pain in the ass with his prankster side. Fugaku-san said Shisui turned up like that because of Obito’s influence. “Shisui said I’m a good listener, so if you need to talk to someone, I don’t mind lending you my ear,” Itachi said with a serious air.
Kakashi blinked a few times, he admits he had underestimated the Uchiha. The boy was called a genius not for nothing, after all. He appreciates the sentiment, but he doesn’t want to think that he had fallen so deep that a child feels the need to comfort him. The silver-head grinned, although it was hidden by his mask. “My, thank you for the offer, Itachi. However, I have to decline. You see, I have a big cat that get jealous easily. We don’t want to offend him now, do we?” no, Kakashi wanted Obito to be jealous.
Itachi said nothing as he continues to stare deep into Kakashi’s soul. He couldn’t bear to look into those black orbs that are too similar to Obito. So he looked to the front and it didn’t take long until Itachi also focus on the road. They finished the rest of the short journey with small talks, Kakashi asked Itachi about his missions and Shisui, Itachi kindly answer his questions and didn’t ask anything in return. There were nearing the Uchiha compound when Kakashi heard a familiar voice coming from one of the shops.
He held his breath as Obito walks out of the shop with a wide smile. Kakashi’s heart did a flip when Obito turned his head and a woman walks out, falling into the step next to the Uchiha. This is why he refused to come out of his apartment, he managed to avoid this scene for so long. But the one time he comes out of his room, the nightmare that he doesn’t want to see was trusted to his face. Fate decided to connect them as soulmates, but the God was cruel to him. He knows he doesn’t deserve Obito, but does it mean Kakashi deserves this pain?
Obito and the woman didn’t notice them, the two walks ahead and disappeared somewhere. Kakashi doesn’t remember how he get home, but he remembers sending Itachi and Sasuke back to their home. He remembers the look Itachi gave him as he said his parting words. He remembers passing by Shisui but he couldn’t remember if he return the boy’s greeting. He doesn’t remember if he had taken a shower before climbing his bed. He doesn’t remember if he had eaten at all that day.
But Kakashi remembers hearing the entrance door being open and Obito’s footsteps as the other man walks around the house. He remembers staring at the moon before everything becomes black and he couldn’t feel anything at all. When he opens his eyes, the sun was up and shines bright into his room. Kakashi sighed and pulled his mask down, he should have taken a bath before going to bed. His hand was hovering on the doorknob when he heard footsteps outside his door. Kakashi’s eyes widen and he quickly walks back to his bed.
Obito is still in the house, even though it was already a little after noon. The familiar footsteps walk around the house, back and forth in slow and lazy manners. Kakashi pulled his knees up, wondering if the other man is doing his monthly cleaning. He should go out; this is his chance to talk to Obito. It doesn’t have to be about that, they could talk about anything. It’s been a while since he last saw and talked to Obito. He missed the other man, and he knows Obito also missed him. They’re best friends before they’re lovers.
He stares hard at the door, wondering if Obito knows he is inside his room. He pulled his legs closer and silently listens to the other’s footsteps. It’s fine, he will go out there, pretend nothing was wrong and talks to Obito. He also needs to pick Pakkun from Minato-sensei’s home. There was a loud thud and he heard Obito cussing loudly, he bet the other man’s feet hit the edge of the sofa again. He stares hard at the door and gripped his shirt tightly. He knows it’s fine to leave the room, but Kakashi didn’t come out from his room that day.
Kakashi stares at the written words above his pelvis through the full body mirror. Uchiha Obito, it said boldly. Obito’s mark was on the middle of his back, it was hard to see by himself. It took a while after Rin’s death, for him to accepted Minato-sensei’s invitation to hot spring together. That’s when sensei saw the name written on Obito’s back. Although it took a few years more until Obito stop denying it. And it took a few more years until the Uchiha asked Kakashi to move in with him.
It has only been a year. Kakashi’s happiness was only a short one year. He couldn’t bring himself regret it, every moment waking up to Obito, every night spends in Obito’s bed. Every soft whispered words that Obito said to his ears while he caresses Kakashi gently. He wished he had more time. But time was the only thing that he never has. He didn’t have enough time to spend with his father before the shinobi world killed the man, he didn’t have time to spend with his new friend before she was cruelly ripped away from him and Obito.
And now, time is taking Obito away from him. These last three months, despite what happened, Obito always surely returns to their joined apartment. No matter what he did with that woman in the day, Obito always returns to their home. But yesterday, the Uchiha didn’t return. Kakashi waits for him in the living room, sitting crossed legs on the grey sofa. Obito never returns. He doesn’t want to know where and what the Uchiha was doing, who he was spending the night with. And yet the unknown keeps him awake.
Kakashi stepped under the shower and turned the setting to the coldest. He has mission today; he can’t afford to lose his mind over something else. He ignored the tingling sensation on his arm, as he ignored the red flowing down the gash he made under his wrist with a kunai. The pain will keep him awake and alert. The pain will keep his mind away from Obito. It’s just a pain. Kakashi went out with his usual mission outfit. He was paired with Shisui today, and fortunately, no one ask him about the bandage on his wrist.
Kakashi was walking down the market, Pakkun and the gang demanded roasted steak tonight, when he ran to Asuma and Kurenai. They talked about small stuff, no one asked him about the bandage on both of his wrist. Suddenly Kurenai leered at him with a grin and leaned close to his face.
“Talking about day off, it’s your birthday this Sunday, Kakashi! I bet you got plan with Obito, preferably in bed, all day. But spare some time for your friends, okay?” she winked at him. Next to her, Asuma squirmed uncomfortably. The other man wasn’t quite comfortable talking about such things, he was unexpectedly shy. Kakashi blinked in confusion. He didn’t realize that day is coming again. “Kakashi?” Kurenai tilted her head, and Asuma frowns at him. Ah, he was silent for too long.
“I’ll see what I can do. You know Obito is the romantic type, he never talks about his surprise,” there will be no surprise this year. Or the years to come. But they don’t need to know about that. There is no need to drag anyone into his own unhappiness. He didn’t go home after that; he went to sensei’s place instead. Told Kushina-san about Pakkun’s demand and how he didn’t have time to finish all eight steaks by himself. The redhead was delighted because Kakashi asked for her help.
Dinner time was chaotic. Naruto was a messy eater and couldn’t keep still for more than five minutes. The boy wanted to eat on the floor together with the dogs, and he cries very loud when sensei tried to explain why he can’t eat with the dogs. Kushina-san and him wasn’t helping, watching sensei’s defeated form was amusing. He ended up spending the night in Naruto’s room. The boy insisted strongly that he wanted to sleep with Kashi-nii and all of the ninken. Minato-sensei allowed them with another defeated sigh.
They sleep next to each other, Naruto’s smaller form curled between Kakashi’s arms. Naruto was halfway to the dreamland when the boy suddenly put a hand on Kakashi’s masked cheek.
“Kashi-nii, why are you so sad? The great Uzumaki Naruto is here to keep the nightmare away, so don’t be so sad ttebayo.”
Kakashi felt his eyes burns, but he only pulls Naruto a little bit closer and rubs the boy’s back until Naruto fell asleep. He wonders if Obito realized that he wasn’t home. Does Obito knows his schedule? Does the other still worries about him? Will he search for him? Staring at Naruto didn’t give him any answer, but sleep won’t come to him. Talking with Kurenai helps a little. He now knows he must talk with Obito before his birthday. He doesn’t want to spend his birthday alone, holding onto false hope that the other man will remembers.
Kakashi stares out the window, he had been doing that a lot lately. He doesn’t know whether he should curse or thank the Hokage. Obito was given a long mission since the beginning of the week, he couldn’t talk to the man. He knows Minato-sensei meant well, he wanted to give both Obito and Kakashi a day off together on the Hatake’s birthday. If the situation was different, he might send his sensei a giant parcel as gratitude. But the reality is, sensei’s kindness only brings him more pain.
Now the day has come, he was unfortunately stuck with the false hope that Obito remembers his birthday. The man returned from his mission late into midnight yesterday, and left early this morning, like always. Kakashi pulled his knees to chest, torn between ending it today, and stuck with the memory of being broken on his birthday, or tomorrow, still stuck with the memory of being broken the day after his birthday. None was the wiser. He continues to stare out of the window, the sun is still high, today seems to go slower than usual.
The sun was setting behind the cliff when he heard knock coming from the entrance door. He considers ignoring whoever it was. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, he doesn’t want his friends to come to his home to celebrate his birthday only to find out his supposed lover wasn’t spending the day with him. The knocks were insistent, he pulled his knees closer and keep his eyes on the window. And then it stops, and Kakashi let out a relieved sigh. He closed his eyes and keep his head hidden between his knees.
The sudden knocks on his window startled him. He jumped up, kunai in hand, only to blinks in surprise at seeing Shisui outside his windows. He opened the window quickly; he knows the boy won’t hesitate to break his window if he needs to.
“Kakashi-senpai, it’s rude to ignore your cute kohai, you know,” Shisui made a fake pout.
Kakashi stares blankly at him, “my cute kohai would know not to disturb me today.”
Shisui grinned up at him and jumped into his room, “well, this cute kohai is here to cheer you up! Since I know you’re spending today alone!” The Uchiha went to his closet and start making a mess.
Kakashi sighed, “you know I always spend my birthday with Obito. I’m waiting for him actually, and he won’t be happy to find you in my room, Shisui.” The Uchiha hummed in respond and continue to make a mess of his closet. The boy suddenly let out an aha and pulled out a yukata. He trusts the yukata into Kakashi’s hands and clicked his tongue at him.
“None of that nonsense, senpai. Now change into it, Itachi and I will wait outside. Don’t think about running away, because you know, Shunshin no Shisui?” the boy winked at him before he jumped out of the window and even had the nerve to closed it behind him. Kakashi stares at the cloth on his hands. It’s the yukata that Obito bought for him. Obito said the color brings out Kakashi’s beauty.
Kakashi walks slowly, people are staring, and he found himself to care tonight. Of course people would stare when Konoha’s trio beautiful geniuses walks together in an outfit that is not their normal mission outfit. On his left, Itachi was wearing a black yukata with red cloud patterns. The color made him glows, or so Shisui said. On his right, Shisui was wearing a navy-blue yukata with snowflake patterns, weird choice actually. But Itachi said it made Shisui looked masculine with a soft touch of glows.
He doesn’t want to know where these two learns to talk in such poetic ways. It’s worrying enough for their clan that they’re soulmates, Kakashi doesn’t want to add more to Fugaku-san’s stress by asking the man about his son and his soulmate’s weird speech. Kakashi’s yukata is pale blue with white higanbana patterns. Obito said he instantly know the color and patterns was made for Kakashi. The Uchiha didn’t stop praising him that day. It was embarrassing, but he loves it. Both the yukata and Obito's smiles.
The three entered the Uchiha compound, and Kakashi felt the need to ask. So he asked the boys, what he was doing here. But they only hums as answer and continues to guide him. They went to Itachi’s house. When they entered, Itachi’s mother and Sasuke were standing on the entrance. Mikoto-san, Itachi’s mother gave him a brief hug and congratulate him. Sasuke launched himself to his brother and glared at Shisui. Itachi and Mikoto-san pulled him deeper into the house and Kakashi found himself surrounded by the Uchihas and Naruto.
Sitting quietly at the far end of the table was Fugaku-san, Itachi’s father and the current head of Uchiha clan. Itachi and Shisui, sits side by side next to Kakashi. Mikoto-san went to the kitchen. Sasuke was pulled to the side by Naruto, Kakashi still doesn’t understand why the boy is here, and the two starts bickering again. Across Kakashi, next to Fugaku-san, was an elderly man with curly hair and strong aura. Kakashi has never meet the gramp before, but he could tell the man was dangerous.
He blinks a few times, making sure he wasn’t hallucinating. When Mikoto-san returned with a giant chocolate cake, Kakashi had to say something.
“What is going here? Shisui? Itachi? Why is Naruto here? Does Kushina-san know he is here?”
There was a silent, and apparently the Uchiha clan could communicates through their eyes. Kakashi also has a Sharingan, even thought it was Obito’s, but he sure as heck couldn’t communicate silently like these people do.
“Kashi-nii!” Naruto slammed himself to Kakashi’s side, good thing he was Naruto-proofed. “Happy bird day!” the boy grinned up to him, still clinging to his side. Kakashi felt his side screaming and throbbing, but he ignored it and smiles softly at the boy he loves so much. Behind them, Sasuke made a snarky remarks at Naruto's wording.
“Thank you, Naruto. Does your mother know you’re here?” Kakashi knows he is being overly rude, but he couldn’t help it. Naruto is the jinchuuriki of Kyuubi, it would be bad for Minato-sensei and Kushina if counselor Shimura, who had a deep hatred for the Uchiha, find out that Naruto is alone with this many Uchihas. He had warned Obito many times about it, and he was sure that Obito had also warned the Uchihas about it.
“Uh-huh! Mom said it’s okay as long as Sasuke’s with me!”
Kakashi tilted his head, “Sasuke?”
Mikoto’s soft laugh caught him off-guard, “oh, silly us. We told Sasuke and Itachi not to tell anyone else, it’s understandable that you’re confused, Kakashi-kun.”
Kakashi frowns in confusion and tilted his head the other way. Fortunately, Itachi decided not to keep him in the dark. He beckoned for his younger brother to stand in front of Kakashi. Sasuke did it without protest, and Itachi rolled the boy’s left sleeves. There, right below Sasuke’s forearm, Uzumaki Naruto was written boldly. Kakashi snapped his head to Naruto and rolled the blonde’s sleeves. When he didn’t find the words on both arms, he looked back to Sasuke’s arm. If it was on Sasuke’s left arm, it should be on Naruto’s right arm.
“We Uchihas has a gene that made our mark appeared years faster than the other person. While Sasuke’s mark has appeared, Naruto-kun’s mark will take a few more years to appear,” the Uchiha gramps explained. Kakashi nodded absentmindedly. Naruto’s soulmate is Sasuke. Kushina-san knows that, that’s why she could confidently leave her son here. Because not even counselor Shimura has the power to keep two people who shares one soul apart. Kakashi let out a relieved sigh and pulled Naruto into a hug.
That’s good, having an Uchiha soulmate would be good for Naruto. When Sasuke gained his Sharingan, the boy could learn to use to control Kyuubi from going berserk. He quickly pulled back when he realized they were watching him. He blushed slightly and pats imaginary dusts off Naruto’s back. When Fugaku-san cleared his throat, Kakashi turned serious and looked at the man.
“As an outsider who has an Uchiha soulmate, I hope you could teach Naruto-kun and my son some stuff. Since we doesn’t know what it’s like to be connected to someone who is not an Uchiha, we hope you could teach them what we couldn’t, Kakashi-kun,” the man looked embarrassed as he said that. But Kakashi cannot teach Naruto anything. He failed to keep his own soulmate, he failed on making Obito happy. That’s why Obito had to find happiness in another person, even though she wasn’t his soulmate.
He nodded anyway. They started the party, apparently Itachi begged his father and mother to celebrate Kakashi’s birthday with them. He doesn’t understand the boy but doesn’t want to be rude after they went out of their way for an outsider like him. So Kakashi let them, actually it was only Mikoto-san, Shisui and Naruto, to sing him a birthday song. Mikoto-san told him to make a wish before he blows the candle, but he didn’t. Wishing on God and falling stars didn’t bring Obito back to him, a candle won’t be able to do much.
The cake was heavenly, Mikoto-san is way too talented to be a housewife. Kakash bets that if she joins forces with Kushina-san, they could bring all five nations under their foot. He told them so, and Itachi chuckled softly while Fugaku-san choked on his cake. Naruto and Sasuke went to the Uchiha’s bedroom after they eat the cake. Sasuke said he wanted to show Naruto some of his weapons, Itachi called them toys. Fugaku-san and the old man who turned out to be the legendary Uchiha Kagami, pulled him into adult talks.
He didn’t realize Shisui had sneaked out, or Itachi watching him with a frown. He only knows too late when he heard that familiar voice calling his name.
“Kakashi?”
The silver-head felt his heart had dropped out. He doesn’t want to turn around, he is not prepared to meet Obito. He felt a hand squeezing his hand, he looked down to see Kagami-san’s wrinkled and calloused hand on his hand. It felt warm and somehow it gave him the push he needed. He turns slowly, his eyes fell on Obito’s feet. The other man was wearing his casual black shirt and loose pants. He was holding a bouquet of flower on one hand, and a nicely wrapped box on the other hand.
“Obito.”
Obito was in Ichiraku ramen with her, she enjoys ramen as much as him. They were walking out of the store when they bumped into Gai and Asuma. The two looked surprised to see him.
"Obito? What are you doing here?" Asuma asked, looking at her with a frown. Meanwhile, Gai was looking around.
He shrugged, "well, I was eating ramen."
"Without my rival?" Gai asked with a frown similiar to Asuma's.
The Uchiha blinked in confusion, "ah, no." Actually he hasn't eat with Kakashi for a while now. He glanced at her, she was squirming uncomfortably under Asuma's gaze. So Obito stepped in front of her. "I think Kakashi's busy," an excuse.
"No, he wasn't. It's his day off today. And his birthday," Asuma glared at him.
Obito's eyes widen in shock. It's Kakashi's birthday today. He forgot about it. He quickly said goodbye to Asuma and Gai, and offered her an apology, but he has somewhere to be. She said it was okay, but he sends her home anyway. He stopped by the flower shop and a souvenir store. Then he rushed back home. The place was silent and empty like it has been for a few months. Obito knocked on Kakashi's door but received no answer. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.
He swings the door open and almost dropped the bouquet when he found it empty. Obito walks around the apartment, checking for Kakashi, but the other man was nowhere. He starts to panic and was halfway out of the apartment when someone called him.
“Obito-nii,” it was Shisui. The boy was frowning at him, but Obito doesn’t have time for him.
“Sorry, Shisui. I need to go—”
“If you’re looking for Kakashi-senpai, he is in Itachi’s house.”
They all sit around the long rectangle table, except for Naruto and Sasuke. Fugaku-san wanted to give them privacy, but Kakashi doesn’t want to be alone with Obito right now. Itachi sit to his left, and Shisui to his right. Obito sit between Kagami-san and Mikoto-san, while Fugaku-san decided to sit on the hallway, facing his ponds.
“Kakashi, what are you doing here?” Obito asked. The flower and box were put on the table, he put them there after Obito gave it to him. Kakashi doesn’t know how to answer. What was he doing here, an outsider celebrating his birthday with people who are not his family nor his clan? They might be kind to him because his soulmate is Uchiha, but does he deserve all of it when his soulmate doesn’t want him? He didn’t dare to look into Obito’s eyes. He doesn’t know if he could keep his emotion in check for long.
“I invited Kakashi-senpai, since I know he will be spending his birthday alone,” Itachi answered for him. Obito frowns and looked away for a few minutes, then he looked back to Kakashi.
“I’m sorry, Kakashi. I was so busy; I forgot your birthday. When I went to our apartment, you weren’t there, I was so scared that you—”
“Busy with another woman?” Shisui sneered at the man. Kakashi snapped his head to stares at the boy. He thought no one else had realized. At least none of his friends had realized it, Kurenai and Gai would have kill Obito if they had. Obito also looked shocked for a split second before the panic set in and he focused on his soulmate.
“Kakashi, that’s not—no, I—,” Obito bit his lips and hung his head. “I’m sorry,” the scarred man whispered. No, he doesn’t want to talk about it while being surrounded by Obito’s clansmen. But his voice didn’t come out, his mouth won’t open. It’s better that way, he doesn’t know what to say first. I’m happy for you, why her, what about us, what about me, there are so many things he wanted to say. I want to break up, I want to let you go, but he doesn’t know if he could say those words without breaking down.
“Do you know the story of the Second Hokage and his soulmate, senpai?” Itachi asked suddenly. Kakashi looked at the boy and shook his head, it wasn’t in history books. “Obito knows about the story, Kagami jii-sama always tell us that story, as a reminder and a lesson. Do you remember the story, Obito?” not Obito-nii or Obito-san. Kakashi doesn’t want Itachi to lose his respect for Obito because of him, it wasn’t Obito’s fault. He has to tell them. He has to make it right.
“The Second Hokage’s soulmate was an Uchiha. The war was fresh, and peace was a fragile thing. Even though the village was founded, the two didn’t fall in love and live a happy live together. The Uchiha rejected the Second and the Second also reject the Uchiha. It all happens because the Uchiha was in love with the First Hokage instead. And then…” Obito fell silent and decided to stare at the flower as if he was in pain. Kakashi bit his lip, he wanted to erase those frowns and rubs Obito’s back to comfort him.
“And then Tobirama-sensei decided to take an impossible mission. He decided to give his soulmate a freedom to choose and love, and sensei died alone under enemies’ blades. He died giving his life to the village, and to his soulmate. That Uchiha later on become a crazed man, he cursed the world for what it did to sensei. That Uchiha decided to destroy everything, and he betrayed Konoha. He commanded a beast and tried to burn the village down. Hashirama-sama then killed him and bring peace back to Konoha.”
Kakashi looked at Kagami-san in shock, his mind was already running. That story was familiar, too familiar. “That Uchiha,” he licked his lips, “was it Uchiha Madara?”
Kagami-san looked pleased at his question. “Well done. As expected of Konoha’s genius Hatake. It took Obito a year to identify sensei’s soulmate’s identity,” Kagami-san pats Obito’s knees a few times. His soulmate flinched visibly, but even Mikoto-san ignored it.
“When I saw Obito with that woman the first time, I didn’t think much about it,” Itachi said, his voice was void of emotions. “But then it happens repeatedly, and each time, it was only the two of them. It could be a coincidence, but then Neko and I noticed Kakashi-senpai started being strange. He talks less, doesn’t come out of his apartment for days, he didn’t read his favorite books thorough the missions. It was the same symptoms that the Second Hokage had for a few months before his death.”
Kakashi doesn’t know if he should be touched because his junior worries about him so much, or angry at himself, for not hiding his secrets better. Obito was staring at him with wide eyes and slack mouth. But he couldn’t find it in himself to look at the other.
“We’re afraid that Kakashi-senpai will die alone like the Second Hokage. Especially after we found out that senpai made a request to the Hokage to let him return to the anbu,” Shisui shook his head. Kakashi closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Kakashi? You wanted to return to anbu?” Obito asked softly.
He opened his eyes but didn’t look at the other. “It doesn’t matter, Hokage-sama already rejected my plea,” but it didn’t change the fact that he practically asked the Hokage to allow him to die.
“Kakashi, I—”
He has to do it now. “Do you love her?” he blurted out, and his eyes fell on Obito’s nose.
Obito gulped before answering, “I do. But, Kaka—"
“Then that’s all that matters, you’re moving on, that’s a good thing.” Let him go.
Obito shook his head, “I was wrong, I hurt you, Kakashi—”
He shook his head slowly, “I hurt you first. I killed Rin, remember?”
Obito let out a small sob, “it wasn’t your fault, ‘Kashi. Rin killed herself, the war took her, not you.”
“It was my hand that took her life,” he closed his eyes, the tears won’t fall. “But it was in the past, it’s good that you’re moving forwards. I’m happy for you, Obito,” he cannot open his eyes, Obito will know he was lying if he sees Kakashi’s eyes. He has to let him go.
“Kakashi, are you, breaking up with me?” Obito jumped to his feet and crossed the room to get to his soulmate. He caught Kakashi’s trembling hands and begged. “Please, you cannot leave me, I cannot live without you, ‘Kashi! I love you; I swear I do! She was, she was kind and smart, like Rin. But she wasn’t you,” Obito sobbed as he continues to beg. Kakashi didn’t open his eyes and he let Obito shakes him. He couldn’t live without Obito either, but they managed these last three months without each other.
“But I’m not Rin either,” he said softly. Obito sobs louder and the hands that holds his hands continues to tremble. He thinks back to the words he read from a book; it was written by the Second Hokage. And now that he knows the man’s history, Kakashi thinks he could relate. “Soulmates are two people that shares one soul. But not every soulmate has to ended up with each other. They could become friends, they could become families, they could become enemies. It would never change the fact that they’re connected by fate.”
Kakashi pulled his hands out of Obito’s grasp and gripped the other’s shoulder firmly. “Obito, I’m not leaving you. I will still be here, someone need to be the brain when you become the Hokage, after all. We’re best friends before we’re lovers, remember? You found your happiness in another person, and it’s just right for me to let you go if that makes you happier.”
Obito shook his head, “I’m happy with you ‘Kashi, I’m happy being with you, by your side!” Behind Obito, he could see Shisui and he could see the anger and disgust pooling inside the boy’s eyes. Kakashi couldn’t blame him, both Shisui and Itachi knows about her. They must have known about the last three months, days he was left alone waiting for Obito inside their apartment. But it wasn’t Obito’s fault, they shouldn’t blame Obito either. Obito is kind, very kind, and it was Kakashi’s fault that he wasn’t happy enough with him.
“Obito, if you love me, I want you to stop lying. To me, and to your feelings. You love me, I have no doubt of it. But it’s not the same with what you felt for Rin and her, you know it. We lived together as lover, but it’s not what we are meant to be. We’re best friends, that’s what we are, Obito. It’s fine, this is not the end of us. Think of it as a new beginning, crybaby,” and the end of Kakashi’s happiness. But it’s fine for him, as long as Obito’s happy and safe, there is nothing Kakashi wouldn’t trade for him.
When he pulled Obito up to look at him, Kakashi found himself staring at red Sharingan. He quickly put his hand to cover it, he doesn’t want Obito to remember this day forever. He only wants to stop hurting the man he loves too much. Don’t look, he whispered softly, don’t look at me. Obito caught his bandaged wrist, their hands trembles together.
“Did you hurt your hand, ‘Kashi?” Obito asked through his sobs, rubbing the bandaged part gently. The Uchiha took Kakashi’s other hand and also rubs the bandaged part gently.
“Just a small accident,” he answered quietly. He doesn’t want to know if Itachi and Shisui realized what he did to himself.
“Can I see?” Obito asked, his Sharingan taking in details of Kakashi’s appearance.
The silver-haired shook his head, “they told me to keep it closed.” It only takes one look for them to find out what he did behind closed door. His reputation as cold blooded friend murderer was already destroyed in one night, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself further in front of Fugaku-san and Kagami-san. Obito bring Kakashi’s wrist to his mouth and kissed it. Again and again and again, he didn’t stop the other man. He looked up to find Shisui staring behind him, probably talking with Itachi through their eyes.
Is it over now? He looked to the side, at Fugaku-san’s back, his eyes caught the tension in the man’s shoulders. Although the man has not said anything since the beginning, he could tell the man must have been disappointed in Obito. A cheating Uchiha, that’s unheard of. And for Obito to be the first to drag a mud to their loyalty that they were so proud of, Kakashi only hopes they won’t be too harsh on him. He pulled back his hands, ignoring the small, restrained whine coming from Obito.
“It’s late, I think it’s time I take my leave. Thank you for having me, Fugaku-san, Mikoto-san, Kagami-san,” he turns to Itachi. The boy was staring blankly at him, “thank you for going out of your way for me, Itachi. I enjoy the party, although my favorite must be Mikoto-san’s cake.” Mikoto-san giggled softly, and he needs it, he doesn’t want the pity party. “Thank you, Shisui. However, the next time you want to surprise me, you better expect Bull going after your ass,” the boy snorted and rolled his eyes.
He stood slowly, feeling a little tired. There was a tug on his sleeves, and he turned to Itachi. Kakashi put a hand on the boy’s hair and smiles. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to die anytime soon, Itachi. I promised this idiot here, that I will be there when he becomes the Hokage. And I might have promised Minato-sensei that I will become Naruto’s teacher when he graduated from Academy,” Itachi wasn’t convinced, but that’s fine. He just needs to keep living for a little longer, until they all forget about this.
“Oh, make sure to send Naruto back before his father start crying,” no one stops him from leaving. Mikoto-san was the one who guides him out of the house. She even gave him a small present, and a deep hug. She didn’t tell him that everything will be fine, that this shall pass. And he appreciates it, he doesn’t need pitiful looks or empty words of sympathy. He walks out of the compound in silence, pretending not to notice Obito following behind him with a concerned eyes and red nose.
He passed through many people laughing and smiling, and he felt like he had returned to those days when he was forced become adult after his father passed. He felt like the world around him was muted, he couldn’t see color nor hear the laughter. He passed through the BBQ store, he looked inside through one of the windows and saw Gai, Genma, and Hayate talking heatedly about something. He wonders what he should tell his rival, he wonders if he could avoid telling the truth.
Kakashi continues through the street, when he passed through the flower shop, he found Asuma and Kurenai walking ahead of him. He knows Asuma’s mark was on the right shoulder and Kurenai’s was on her left. He used to want what they have. Kurenai’s father passed on the night that Kyuubi went berserk, but Asuma was always with her, supporting her through ups and downs. They are the perfect couple, the perfect soulmates. When the two turned to the left, Kakashi saw a glimpse of flower in Kurenai’s hands.
He remembered he left Obito’s flower and present back in Itachi’s house. He continues on until they’re in front of their apartment. Obito was stubbornly standing a foot away from him. He enters their apartment and left the door ajar for Obito. Kakashi went to the laundry room, took off the yukata, leaving him in his inner high neck black shirt and tight black pants. The silver-haired went back to the main room, passing by Obito who was standing like a statue and went inside his room.
Kagami hums as Shisui continues to ramble on reasons that they should adopt Hatake Kakashi into their family. From the corner of his eyes, he caught the shadow swaying around. He hush-ed the boy and turned on his Sharingan. He sweeps the shadow and chuckled softly.
“You know, if you wanted to join in so badly, you could try asking,” he asked.
Shisui made a snort next to him, “that will end really well, jii-sama. You know Fugaku-san hates Danzou jii-sama with all his cells.”
Counselor Shimura Danzou walks out of the shadow, his cane made clacking sounds as it hits the ground. He cleared his throat and glared weakly at Kagami.
“You were watching. So, what do you think?” Kagami tilted his head, a ghost of a smile in his face.
“Do you think that’s how we would ended up if you had taken my hand that day?” Danzou asked.
Kagami let out a sigh, “I am still right, Danzou. It happened to Tobirama-sensei, and it’s happening to Kakashi-kun.”
Danzou hummed and closed his eyes, “when an Uchiha’s soul was connected to a person that is not an Uchiha, death will surely take them apart. You insisted that I would die following sensei if you had not married that woman.” Shisui pursed his lips and looked away, wondering what Itachi is doing. His grandfather and Danzou jii-sama had repeated this conversation many times before, it gets boring after the third time. “Let’s hope your theory was not your trauma from sensei’s death speaking, then.”
Kagami throw his head back and laughed at the other man. “Ha! You were the one who cries non-stop for a month after sensei’s funeral!” he grinned teasingly when Danzou tried to hit his leg with the cane.
Shisui rolled his eyes and caught both men’s arms. “Alright! You promised you won’t flirt in front of me!” he pulled the two closes to his sides, pouting cutely at both old men. Danzou grumbles under his breath while Kagami chuckled evilly. None of them protest at Shisui drags around in the dark of Uchiha’s compound.
"Oh, by the way you owed me money. The Kyuubi jinchuuriki's soulmate is Fugaku's son!"
Danzou let out a defeated growl and slapped his wallet onto Kagami's awaiting hand.
Obito was there the next morning, knocking on his door. He was asking, pleading, begging for Kakashi to come out and eat breakfast with him. He made sandwiches . Kakashi pulled the cover tighter around himself and fall back to sleep. That night, Obito returned earlier than he had been the past three months. The man knocked on his door, he brought curry udon for Kakashi. He pulled his knees up and stares out the window. It took an hour for Obito to gives up. The silver haired didn’t sleep that night.
The next morning, Obito was on his door again, begging Kakashi to come out and eat something. The Uchiha left after two hours. Kakashi kneels on the floor, staring at the door all day. That night, Obito returned early again, and he was on Kakashi’s door again. He brought ramen and start talking to himself in front of the door. He listens to Obito’s story silently. The Uchiha talked for an hour before he retreated to his own room. Kakashi continue to stare at the door. That night, he falls asleep on the floor, Obito’s voice still clear in his mind.
The next morning, Obito was was on his door again. His voice was low and sad, and he begged Kakashi to come out. He decided to comply his soulmate’s wish and opened the door. Obito looked happy when he stepped out of his room. They sat across each other and eat their sandwiches in silent, although Obito kept sending him glances that he ignored. He returned to his room right after he finished his sandwich. Obito left an hour later and returned a few hours later with another food. He knocked on Kakashi’s door again, asking the man to eat the lunch he bought.
It was fried rice; he eats in silence while Obito tried to talk to him. He went back to his room after he finished eating, Obito cleans up without a protest. The Uchiha didn’t went out after that. Kakashi felt tired and went to sleep, he dreams of his father. The next few days were a repeat of that day. When they were not out for missions, Obito either bought or made breakfast for Kakashi and they ate in silence. Sometimes they would eat lunch or dinner together, but those were rare. The silver-haired spend most of his time staring out the window and pretend he couldn’t hear Obito.
Exactly a month after his birthday, Obito was out on a long mission. He used the break from the other man to pack his stuff and cleaned his room. He put the key to the apartment on the table and left without looking back. His new apartment was close to sensei’s house, only ten minutes walks. Pakkun and the gang kindly helps him to unpack and set his stuff, although they might have mentioned they wanted steaks as rewards.
“The rain is coming,” Pakkun said, nose twitching upwards. Kakashi blinks as he stares out the window. He put the frames on the shelf and took his umbrella. “Going out, boss?” the pug asked. He nodded and asked them to put the wards up while he takes a short walk. None of them protest, although Pakkun won’t stop giving him a look that told him not to do anything stupid. The sky was turning grey and thunders could be heard from distances. He walks through the crowd of people running to avoid getting caught under the rain.
The cemetery was empty of visitors. Kakashi easily found Rin’s grave. He blinked and tilted his head when he realized he forgot to buy a flower. “Sorry, Rin. I will get one next time, I promise,” he said to the wind. He stood there, with nothing in his mind and heart. When the first drop fell on his ear, Kakashi looked up to the darken sky. The rain started to pour, it was small at first, then the wind picked up and the drops become stronger and harsher. He stood under the cold water, wishing the rain will wash him away.
“Ka…ka…shi,” she stood in front of him, his hand went through her chest. The blood won’t stop.
He squeezed his eyes, willing the image to go away.
“Bakakashi,” Obito grinned teasingly at him, he pulls down Kakashi’s short easily and jumped up to capture his lover’s lips. “I love you,” he leaned down to deepen their kiss.
He opened his eyes and stares widely at her grave. Oh, something broke inside of him. And finally, the tears start falling down. He falls to his knees, the umbrella rolled away as it was forgotten. Kakashi sobs loudly, screamed out his pain and called out to his love that wasn’t his anymore. Only the dead witnesses his broken self. Only the rain drowns out his voice of sorrow.
“Obito! Obito! Obitooooo!”