Yennefer felt the tension in the air, thick enough for her to be able to cut it with a knife. The fight between her and Tissaia – if one could call it that – had spiralled out of either of their control. To onlookers, it would seem like a calm, collected discussion. Heavens forbid anyone saw Tissaia ever do anything more exciting than that.
The two of them had taken up talking in circles the past hour, with Tissaia insisting that there was no way the two of them could ever have anything close to a working relationship, and at this point, Yennefer was losing faith. Maybe Tissaia had a point, too. No matter how infatuated Yennefer was with the beautiful brunette, anything they would build for themselves would tumble down like a house of cards.
But who could blame Yennefer for wanting something good in her life? And Tissaia was without a doubt the most beautiful, intelligent woman she had ever seen in her life. How could she ever not want her in her life?
Taking in a shuddering breath, Tissaia closed her eyes and said with a strained voice, “Yennefer, we cannot do this, I told you. Everything good I ever had, I threw out the window.” As much as Yennefer’s common sense admitted that to be true, she refused to actually acknowledge the fact that Tissaia had exactly one close friendship left, the rest of her friends had long since been forgotten.
Yennefer didn’t exactly care about that little fact either way, if she was to be entirely honest. How could she when, deep down, she knew she was worse than that. Triss still being her friend after all these years was a miracle, one Yennefer was willing to accept without question because anything else would be stupid of her.
Wanting Tissaia to be in her life as well was greedy at best, and it would probably prove fatal in the end, one way or another. Metaphorical or literal. At this point, Yennefer had stopped listening to Tissaia as the brunette tried to reason with her. Except she got it, Yennefer already realised Tissaia was right. Hearing Tissaia talk in circles round and round again pushed Yennefer over the edge and she screamed, “okay!”
Blue eyes stared her down, stunned, unmoving. After taking some steadying breaths, Yen looked up, tears staining her face as she admitted, “you’re right. Not because you throw good things out a window, but because I do too. Except when I do it, I hold onto the thing first, poisoning it with the claws I dug into it and breaking it beyond recognition.”
Tissaia’s face looked perfect as a marble statue, a perfect mask in place, not betraying any kind of emotion. If Yennefer hadn’t had the talent to read her like an open book, she would never have seen the shock hidden in those blue depths that were so adept at keeping secrets.
“I love you, Tissaia, but I am poison ivy. And I am afraid you are not crazy enough to be my Harley Quinn,” Yen finished under tears, looking up at the brunette from her kneeling position on the floor. If somebody had asked her, she wouldn’t be able to say when she sunk down to them.
Then, after having stared at her for a while, Tissaia just turned around and left, proving Yennefer’s fear.