It Must've Been Lonely
Brooke Scott had weird thoughts.
Sometimes, she wanted to rip out her fingernails. They looked quiet easy to rip out, honestly. Practically begging for it. She’d stare at them - always too long, she let them grow out until they broke - and wondered what if would feel like to rip them from her hands.
It would hurt like hell, of course. But pain had always been more of a curiosity to her then anything - fascinating. Truly fascinating.
She hated Kate Marsh.
Brooke liked having things determined. She was very rarely wrong. But when she’d labeled Kate as blithe, she hadn’t seen her… like this.
It made her quite hateable.
And pitiable, of course.
Brooke hated pity. Both feeling it, and being subjected to it.
When she was done wiping Kate Marsh’s very stupid, very pitiable, very undecided face, she tugged at the girls shoulder and led her to her bed. Kate sent her a very mild glare, which she ignored.
She knew she was acting like the girl’s mother - but maybe Kate Marsh needed some mothering right now. And who was Brooke to deny her that right.
(Of course, it hardly had to be her that subjected the girl to this. Didn’t she have friends? She must have - she was-
Urgh.
-likable.)
“What happened?” Brooke said, maybe a little callously - but hell, who was going to stop her? Not Kate Marsh, that was for sure.
“I… what do you care?” Kate Marsh finally said, keeping her head down and sending her a glare from beneath her bangs.
(It was a valid question - one that Brooke most certainly didn’t have an answer for.)
“I don’t. Spill.” Brooke said instead, sitting down on the floor across from her.
There was a pause.
“Or don’t.” Brooke offered, laying back. “But I’m not leaving until you do.”
“This is my dorm.” Kate Marsh pointed out, quite rightly.
“How observant of you.”
Kate Marsh huffed. Brooke felt a smug smile pull at her lips, because she could hear that Kate Marsh was about to spill.
“I… got in a fight with a friend.” Kate Marsh said, very reluctantly and overly slowly.
“Want to talk about it?” Brooke said, still laying back and staring up at Kate Marsh’s ceiling.
Unacceptable. She had not a single glow-in-the-dark star plastered there.
Just plain macabre, this place was.
Brooke crossed her arms behind her head, and crossed her legs, too. Crossing appendages had always been a pastime for her.
“No.” Kate Marsh said, after a moment.
“Okay.”
Brooke waited.
“...Are you… going to leave?”
“Nope.” Brooke said.
“Why not?”
“Why should I?” Brooke fired back.
(She had no idea why not.)
“Because… this is my dorm?”
“And?” Brooke said - because really, it being Kate Marsh’s dorm was information she already had, and thus, clearly had no effect on her decision. At least, reiterating it wouldn’t.
“And you have your own?” Kate Marsh tried.
And failed.
“That I do. I’m going to play some music.”
Brooke pulled out her phone to do just that, while Kate Marsh spluttered.
“Wha - this isn’t your dorm, Brooke!”
“I’m aware of that, Marsh.” Brooke said - because people didn’t like it when you used their full names, and Kate didn’t quite fit yet.
Kate Marsh made some vaguely frustrated, confused noises.
Brooke opened her playlist and hit shuffle.
She laid back - and didn’t quite smile, when Marx’s Theme came on.
“What… is that video game music?”
Brooke sat up a little, so she could send Kate Marsh a glance.
“Yes.”
Kate Marsh continued to make various meaningless sounds.
It was truly a horrible display. Sounds were meant for communication - why would you make such meaningless, emotional ones? It had always confused her.
Unless she was talking, Kate Marsh shouldn’t be making any sounds at all.
“Marsh, please stop making those noises. It’s unbecoming.”
Kate Marsh stopped. Brooke refrained from smiling.
Smiles had never fit on her face. Just as odd noises were unbecoming for Kate Marsh - smiles were unbecoming of her. Unless they were smug ones.
“...Unbecoming?” Kate Marsh said - as if it were confusing.
Brooke sighed.
“Unbecoming, 1A-”
“I know what it means.”
Kate Marsh sounded frustrated.
Brooke supposed she could relate. Being told things she already knew was cumbersome.
“Well then - yes. Unbecoming.”
“That’s… does that mean you like me?”
Brooke blinked.
“What?” She said, sitting up - because this was interesting.
“Well, I mean - if you don’t like noises like that, and you think that they don’t fit me, then… surely that means you think I’m too good to do things like that? Right?”
...Fascinating.
She was right, of course - not that Brooke was going to say so, oh no. Don’t be ridiculous. That would just be wildly unfitting.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I think that you making those noises just doesn’t quite fit - it’s no statement on your likability of lack thereof.”
“...Oh.” Kate Marsh said - and she looked, oddly enough, something close to disappointed.
Brooke, for one wild, inescapably bizarre moment, was tempted to go back on something she’d said for the first time in months at least.
Then the moment passed.
Thank God.
Brooke laid back again, considering the mystery of Kate Marsh and her distinctly star-less ceiling.
“Well - do you like me?” Kate Marsh said - and it was really quite a pathetic, stupid question.
Brooke’s wavering estimation of her value stopped wavering, and went firmly back down.
“No.”
“...Oh.”
“Don’t take it personally.” Brooke said, crossing her legs the other way. “I don’t like anyone.”
“Not… anyone?”
“I truly do not understand people’s obsession with repeating things I say. Yes, not anyone. Why do you think I was always partnerless in history?”
“...Because your friends were in other classes?”
“I don’t have friends.”
“That’s…”
Kate Marsh trailed off. Brooke waited for her to finish.
“...I’m sorry.”
Brooke blinked.
“For what?”
“About you not having friends. It must’ve been lonely.”
Her estimation of Kate Marsh firmed up even more.
Wonderful - another worthless one. She needed to stop letting people get her hopes up.
“I’ve never been lonely in my life, Marsh. Not having friends was a decision I made a long time ago - it’s not an oversight, it’s a choice.”
Kate Marsh didn’t respond.
Brooke didn’t take the time to wonder what she was thinking.