Bucky
The team got back the next day from their mission. Steve had been right when he’d told you they could handle it, and you were grateful for that. Everyone was glad to be home - until Tony reminded them that they were hosting a charity gala that night. Usually you enjoyed getting a chance to dress up and hang out with the team, but you just weren’t feeling it with everything going on. Steve caught your eye when Tony made the announcement, his gaze questioning. When he saw the look on your face, he spoke up.
“[Y/N], you’re grounded so you’ll sit this out. Clint on the other hand? You’re coming because I know you’ll consider this a punishment.” Steve’s voice was firm and you rolled eyes to give a good show.
When Nat tried to argue on your behalf, you stopped her and told her it was alright. As the team dispersed to go take a nap before the party, you stopped to thank Steve. You walked him with him back to his room, and he asked how you were doing with everything. You assured him that the therapist had helped but it would be a bit before you were ready to join them on missions again.
That evening, everyone filed out to the gala. When they left, you slipped down to the pool. You’d always loved to swim, but you hadn’t taken the time to swim just for fun in a long time. Lately the only time you’d been swimming was on a mission or doing laps instead of going for a jog.
Friday was playing your playlist of favorite songs, the lights dimmed slightly as you floated on your back. The water temperature was perfect, the pool was always slightly chilly so the water was warm and you found your eyes drifting shut as you floated. It was peaceful at first, but the longer you floated alone, the more you felt the emptiness begin to creep back in. Not even your favorite music could keep the depression at bay tonight, and you began to contemplate going back to your room and just crawling into bed when the door swung open.
Everyone was supposed to be at the party, so when you heard the door, your eyes flew open and you turned to look at the door, trying to be as quiet as you could in the water. You let out a sigh of relief as you locked eyes with Bucky.
“How come you aren’t at the gala?” you asked Bucky, swimming over to the side of the pool closest to him.
He was dressed in his tuxedo still, “You know me, doll. That’s not my scene.” You nodded in understanding, as he kicked off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs. He dropped his feet into the water next to you, and kicked the water once, splashing you.
You splashed him back with a tiny water wave, and he chuckled softly. When he didn’t speak again, you went back to floating in the pool. The minutes ticked by, song after song playing while you both revelled in the silence. It was different with him there, even if you weren’t talking, just knowing Bucky was there brought respite from the loneliness that had been taking over earlier.
“I owe you an apology.” Bucky’s voice seemed to echo through the room and you turned to look at him.
“What for?” you asked curiously.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you need to know that. I was on my way to talk to Steve and I overheard you guys - super soldier hearing sucks sometimes. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so I left.” you could hear the guilt in his voice and you swam back to his side. You pulled out of the water and sat on the edge of the pool with him, legs almost touching.
You placed your hand on his leg until he looked at you, “It’s okay, Bucky. I know you wouldn’t eavesdrop on purpose.”
He smiled at you softly, relieved you trusted him, “Are you doing okay?”
You thought for a moment before shrugging, “I’m not doing bad? But I’m not good so I mean I guess?”
Bucky nodded, “Before Steve found me, I wasn’t in a good place. I remember wanting to die - and I almost tried once. I was going to, but someone interrupted.”
No longer caring about getting him wet, you scooted over so you guys were touching, thighs pressed together. His hand found its way to your hip and pulled you tight against him, and you began to lightly scratch his back with your nails as he spoke. Bucky told you all about the problems he’d faced since leaving Hydra. He’d struggled with depression on and off since, fueled by the guilt of what he’d been forced to do.
You found peace in Bucky’s confessions, in his admitting he wasn’t okay. Sure, you may not feel like you had reasons as good as his to feel depressed but he was always so strong that him being vulnerable around you like this left you feeling less alone. If he could learn to talk to people he trusted when he needed help, maybe you could learn to as well. Asking for help wasn’t a weakness, and that was something you sometimes still struggled with.
As the night passed and the two of you traded stories you found yourselves lying back on the pool deck, your feet still dangling in the water. At some point, the two of you dozed off during your conversation. Steve found you in the morning, your head resting on Bucky’s chest, his arms wrapped around you. Smiling, Steve left the room and shut the door behind him.