Fireproof

A 15-year-old David Katz sat glumly at the breakfast table picking at his food. His uncle Brian was reading the paper and sipping coffee, seemingly unaffected by the intense argument that had broken out between Nora and his Aunt Sara. Dave was reluctantly seated between them as their conversation about a gay man who had been kicked out of the church turned into a political battle of wits between two very stubborn women.

Dave wished that for once, just for once, Nora would have let the snide comment about the man probably being a pedophile slide by, but she refused. He always admired that fact that his older sister never just kept her head down but he just really wanted to be able to enjoy his breakfast without constant barrage of hateful words spewed by someone who had no idea the people she loved were the targets.

To his aunt Sara, this was just an amusing disagreement with her hilariously youthful and foolish niece but to Nora ( who Dave knew damn well wasn’t just super passionate about queer rights for no reason) it was a frustrating viewpoint of a hateful relative that she just had to squash or else her 17 year old lesbian warrior spirit would just explode.

The intense anxiety thrumming in his chest for the disgusted looks, harsh punishments (for his own good) and the fear of being ostracized from the only people he had left, kept him quiet. No matter how shitty it left him feeling. His family had big expectations from him, Uncle Brian already proudly talking about when he would enlist and follow in the footsteps of the brave men in his family who had served their country. The fact that being honest and proud would turn that proud smile into a disappointed sneer from the only father he had ever know made him wilt against confrontations like these.

“Nora – you sound ridiculous! These people aren’t ‘natural’ – They’re choosing a life of sickness and sin.” His Aunt Sara laughed, “They’ll never be loved properly.”

Dave winced.

Nora’s mouth dropped, sitting back in her chair in shock, “Oh my god – I can’t believe I’m related to such a heartless bitch…”

Aunt Sara gasped.

Uncle Brian finally looked up from his morning paper, “Nora Katz! You will not talk to your aunt that way in this house, do you understand me?”

Nora glowered.

“Go to your room and finish getting ready for school – I don’t want to hear another word, you hear me?”

Nora slapped her napkin down and left the table – shooting a particularly sharp glare at Dave as she moved past him. His aunt Sara shook her head and mumbled absently about troubled youth and bad friends as she began to clean up the table.

His Uncle Brian glanced up to his nephew and shook his head with an amused smirk, “Women, amirite?” He chuckled and went back to his paper.

Dave put his fork down. He was too sick to his stomach to eat anymore.

**********************************************************************************************

“Oooh! A programme! Fancy!” Klaus took two little pamphlets from the sour looking teenager. Klaus handed one to Dave and he opened it looking through the schedule and the list of 1st graders who would be performing that day. Kenzie was in the last group which meant that they would be sitting through many slow, nervous speeches from these little ones until they got to the real reason they were there.

Kenzie had been keeping her presentation pretty secret, normally she told them everything about her assignments but, at least with Dave, she had been keeping this one close. He felt like Klaus was acting a little strange – a little more excited than usual. He loved watching anything to do with Kenzie but due to having the immune system of a newborn kitten and his visits to the school auditorium was generally accompanied by some bemoaning of being surrounded by hoards of germy 1st graders.

They were next greeted by Kenzie’s teacher, a lovely woman with sweeping hair and a taste for large jewelry, she opened her ringed hand welcomingly, “Mr. Hargreeves! I’m so glad you and your boyfriend could make it – your seats are right over there.” She pointed to the first row and then moved on to the next parents.

They got settled and Klaus argued absently with Ben as they struggled to steal an extra seat for the ghost to occupy during the performance. After nearly getting into a fight with a mother, Klaus finally settled down just in time to see the line of kids showing up at the edge of the makeshift stage, all holding little homemade booklets.

Kenzie was in the back of the line, shifting nervously in her dress and uncomfortable shoes that they had gotten just for the occasion. Everyone was talking and some were even roughhousing only to be scolded by a teacher but their little one was staying a few feet away from the other children. She would occasionally reach up and adjust her oversized beanie only to drop her hands and kick her feet nervously.

It was strange seeing her in this environment – going from the hyper, talkative child who would capture a room to this shy little girl who was avoiding eye contact with the other children and teachers. The school staff said that it was because she had been homeschooled for so long and maybe they were right but of course, they only had portions of the truth.

Kenzie glanced up and caught eye contact with Dave, he smiled and waved – nudging Klaus to get his attention.

“Wha- oh! Hi, Pumpkin!” He waved enthusiastically.

She scanned the room then cautiously ran up to them, a few of the teachers saw her but just turned their heads when they realized she wasn’t just running off. Seemingly happy to get out of that line, she barreled into Klaus, “Hi, momma! Hi, Uncle Ben! Hi, Dave!”

She stayed with them, telling them about her morning until the actual show started and she reluctantly went back to her line. The show was very sweet, every kid doing a presentation about someone who was important to them while showing them the pages of their homemade books. There was a lot of awkward pauses, phone camera’s clicking and parents
shuffling to get a better view when their kid was up.

Dave didn’t know how long they were there until it was finally Kenzie’s turn but eventually, she shuffled forward to the microphone, a teacher ran forward and helped to adjust the height then disappeared back to the side. Klaus leaned forward over his crossed legs and held up his cell phone to start taking video.

Was Dave supposed to be this nervous? It wasn’t like he was the one doing the presentation but seeing Kenzie up there alone, so nervous and shaky, twisted his stomach in knots.

She stepped forward and cleared her throat into the mic, she held up the front of her booklet, “A very important person. By Kenzie Grace Hargreeves. That’s me.”

“A very important person to me. Is my dad. I have two dads-“She opened the book and pointed to an approximately drawn picture of two men, one with dark curly hair and one with a fire helmet on. “A momma dad and a dad dad – I’m talking about my dad.” She used her finger to circle the man with the hat.

The blood drained out of Dave’s face and he sat back slack jawed. She had never called him…

Kenzie flipped the page, “My dad is a firefighter and he is very strong. He teaches me about fire safety.”

**********************************************************************************************

“I’m sorry!” Kenzie sobbed, pressing her hands into her eyes and sniffing.
Kenzie was standing off to the side as Dave brought the heavy blanket over the remaining flames that had started crawling up the wall of her bedroom. Half of one of her posters was singed away and the paint was bubbled and ruined in a line towards the ceiling.

He finished putting out the fire and tested the remaining integrity with his hand before turning back to the child with a sigh. After opening the window and picking her up to bring her away from any remaining smoke, he crouched down to her level.

“I didn’t mean to!”

“I know you didn’t mean to, but we’ve got to be careful, right? It doesn’t take very long before the fire is out of control.”

Kenzie pouted, staring in frustration at her own hands and the ember tint that was just now fading away.

“Kenz’, look at me—” She reluctantly turned back to him, “Fire isn’t bad; it keeps us warm, it cleans, it takes out the old so that new, healthier things can grow, it gives us light and comfort in the darkness but we have to respect it, otherwise it might get out of control and that’s when things get scary.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, “That spark inside of you? Is good. Now, we just have to learn how to respect it, how to work with it so you don’t have to be afraid of it getting away from you. This is something that we can work on—This was an accident, you understand?”

She wiped her eyes with a defiant sniff, “I’ll try.”

He smiled, “That’s my girl!” He glanced inside of her room, “Now, you ready to help me strip that wall and repaint it?”

Kenzie nodded, “Okay…”

He picked her up and placed her on his hip, “Hey – don’t cry, okay? Things happen and when they do, the important thing is that you do your best to make it better.” They came back into the room and he looked around, “Okay, you start clearing the area and I’ll go get the supplies.”

She jumped forward and immediately started pulling her stuff away from the ‘incident’ area. Dave nodded approvingly then left, once he was in the next room he leaned against the wall, pressing his forehead into the cool surface. “Shit…” He let out a shaky exhale, “That was too close...”

**********************************************************************************************

Kenzie cleared her throat, refusing to look at the audience. She flipped to the next page, “My dad knows a lot about a lot of things and is good at fixing broken things.”

**********************************************************************************************

“What’s the matter with it?” Kenzie jumped out of the car and followed Dave as he pulled the hood up and locked it. They had been on their way to pick up Klaus when the car just started sputtering.
He peered into the engine, his head waving over the parts, “Ah, it’s probably just a spark plug or the battery.”

She rested her chin against the side and watched him, “Are we stranded!?”

“Nah – we’ll be back on the road in no time. Tell you what, you mind fetching that little tool bag from the back for me?”

“Okay!” She skipped over and opened the back door.

Dave leaned over as she started searching for the tool bag and whipped out his phone, he started typing rapidly, “What the fuck is wrong with this thing…” He mumbled under his breath.

**********************************************************************************************

“It’s because my dad likes to read books. Big books with lots of pages and cool pictures. My momma calls him a nerd, but I like his stories.”

The audience laughed, some of them glancing over at her fathers. Dave didn’t notice; He was captivated by Kenzie’s words and his face was lit up with the most wonderstruck expression.

**********************************************************************************************

“Dave?” The little one leaned over the edge of the couch watching him- her mom was still at work and he would be for a few more hours. With no school work to do, she was obviously bored.

“What’s up?” He was laid out on the couch with a book a few inches from his face.

“What are you reading?”

“This-” He tilted the novel over and displayed the front, a wavy orange pattern that didn’t make very much sense to the child, “Is my favorite book of all time.”

“Why is it your favorite? Is it special? ‘Cause it seems like a lot of books are just really boring.” She lulled her head on the cushion, seemingly unable to sit still.

He thought about it for a moment, “I don’t know - I think it’s exciting and fun - it’s a great story to sink your teeth into.”

“Sink your teeth into? Are their vampires?”

He laughed, “No - no vampires in this one but there’s lots of adventure.”

“Hmm… Are there pirates?”

He dropped the book to his lap, “You’ll have to read it for yourself - that’s the fun of getting into a new story.”

“But I’m 5, Dave! That’s like twice as big as my books - I’d have to be a-” She made a head explosion gesture, “So smart.” She wiggled onto the couch, “Maybe you could read it to me?”’

She looked up at him with big green eyes and he smirked, “Okay, I’ll read it to you - come on-”

She climbed into his lap and cuddled back into the crook of his arm, he marked the page he was on and flipped back to the very first page and began to read…

“A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. This every sister of the Bene Gesserit knows. To begin your study of the life of Muad'Dib, then, take care that you first place him in his time: born in the 57th year of the Padishah Emperor, Shaddam IV. And take the most special care that you locate Muad'Dib in his place: the planet Arrakis. Do not be deceived by the fact that he was born on Caladan and lived his first fifteen years there. Arrakis, the planet known as Dune, is forever his place.

- from "Manual of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan”

He glanced down at the little one as he finished the first passage.

“Hmm… I don’t know what any of that means… keep going!”

Dave had read Dune many, many times over the course of his life but the first few chapters that he got to read aloud until Kenzie fell asleep against him were his favorite time reading it.

**********************************************************************************************

“He has a cool tattoo and I like when he draws with me. He is the best cook.” She flipped the pages and showed little blurbs of all the things that she mentioned then she continued, “Those are just some things that I like about my dad.”

She took a deep breath and flipped the page.

“My dad always takes care of my momma. When he’s sick and also, just when he’s fine.” At this she finally glanced up to the audience then quickly looked back down to her reading.

“My momma is very happy when he’s around and that makes me happy too.”

Klaus moved over closer and kissed his cheek, “She’s not wrong.” He whispered and Dave pulled an arm around him, his eyes still focused on the booklet that Kenzie was holding up proudly.

Kenzie’s voice raised and she stepped forward a little closer for emphasis, “My dad is so tough!”

**********************************************************************************************

Dave pressed his back harder against the bathroom cabinet, he was splayed out and it seemed like his body had just given out on him. He leaned forward and pressed against his eyes roughly with the ball of his thumb attempting to shake the sadness? No, the all consuming numbness.”

His body ached and even though he felt like he had slept way too much, he was still so tired that it was difficult to keep his eyes open. It was getting better but some days the depression still felt like quicksand, sucking up all the life, happiness, and energy that he had left.”

There was a soft knock on the door which shocked him out of his stupor, “Yeah?”

Klaus’ face peaked inside and a rush of shame shot through Dave’s chest and made him look away. His boyfriend didn’t seem to notice and instead came inside, shutting the door behind with a soft click.

A moment later he was next to him on the floor, his knees pulled up against his chest, watching him with a concerned expression.

Dave sighed, “I’m sorry - I’m just having a bad day…”

“I get it. Trust me.” Klaus watched him for a few more moments and honestly, Dave had no idea what he was doing or what his boyfriend was wanting.

Finally, Klaus placed a soft palm against his bare arm, “Why don’t you let me help you to bed? Get you under those cozy, cozy blankets - we can wait this out.” Then he added, more seriously than Dave was used to hearing from his boyfriend, “And if you need help - Just tell me and we can figure something out.”

Dave couldn’t help but scoff at this, “I’m already late getting around and at this rate…” he lifted his hand but then just dropped it to his thigh.

“Well, we win some, we lose some… What I mean is - it’s a bitch, I know but you can just relax for a bit. We’ll wait, when you start feeling better we’ll be right here.”

“You were up all night, David - you’re exhausted.”

He pressed a kiss against Dave’s bare shoulder and left it there for a moment. “Just let me take care of you… That would make me so hot - you have no idea.” He tempted.

Dave couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head, “Okay, fine… If it’ll get you off…” He conceded and Klaus kissed his shoulder again.

Klaus stood up and helped Dave up, treating him like he was sick even though it was all in his head. He felt so weak in that moment but when Klaus pulled his shirt over his head and kissed his nose, there was not a single ounce of pity or judgement in his eyes.

He tugged the shirt the rest of the way on and tried to flash a smile, Klaus wrapped an arm around his torso and began to lead him to the bedroom, “Come on, sexy man - Let’s get you some sleep, let your man take care of things for a while.”

Klaus wasn’t kidding, and soon Dave found himself back under the covers in their darkened room, no phone, no loud noises, just him trying to sleep past these feelings - through the memories that had tortured him all night, Dave did feel like he was in good hands.

He was dozing on and off when he heard a faint voice from the other side of the door, “Okay- but be quick, he’s trying to get some sleep.”

The door cracked open a moment later and Kenzie’s little face poked in, she tiptoed inside and Dave leaned up on his elbow.

“I’m sorry…” She said a little shyly and that just constricted his heart even more.

“Don’t apologize - I’m always happy to see you. What’s going on?” He said, his voice rough with sleep.

She walked up and held out a homemade card, it was a piece of light blue construction paper folded in half. Scrawled in big red letters, slightly diagonally, were the words “Get well soon!” Then tacked on in the corner like she ran out of room was “Dave.”

He took it, “Oh my god…” He reached out and flipped on the lamp, opening the card. Inside, over both sides, was a variety of flowers, grass, and a few ladybugs, scrawled in with crayon. In the corner was a big yellow sun.”

Dave legitimately smiled then pressed it against his chest, “This is exactly what I needed… Thank you so much, Kenzie.”

She smiled proudly then leaned in like she was going to tell him a secret, “I told momma to order some special soup and not make it. You’re welcome.”

He snorted, “You’ve always got my back.”

“Yup!” She gave him a quick hug then ran out of the room.

Dave looked at the card one more time, then set it up on his bedside table with the picture facing the bed. He turned off the lamp and rested for the rest of the day, only hearing a few concerning crashes and sounds coming from the rest of the house.

**********************************************************************************************

“--and I know that he won’t let anything happen to me.”

Dave felt lightheaded as she continued talking. Klaus must have noticed this because at this sentence he leaned back and grabbed Dave’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

She moved to the next page and Dave felt a painful lump in his throat that made it hard to swallow and so hard to watch her as she continued her presentation. He kept glancing over at Klaus who was beaming proudly at his little girl, still filming every moment. But occasionally he would look over at Dave and give him an encouraging wink.

“My dad is very brave. My momma says that he’s got medals because he was so brave. But I don’t need to see the medals because I already know that he’s not afraid of anything.”

“He’s not afraid of storms even when they are big...”

**********************************************************************************************

An explosion surrounding him from all sides sent Dave careening forward, gripping onto his head and curling up for safety.

“GET DOWN! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!” A voice echoed through his head, overwhelming his senses .

His eyes darted around him and the world warped – flashes of gun fire and a dead man next to him sent jolts of adrenaline and panic painfully through his body. He inhaled and clawed at the dusty ground finding it bunched up in his fists – soft and smelling of fabric softener.

He forced himself to breath and as he did so the image around him cleared – the vision warbling between a memory that just wouldn’t go away and a severely darkened room. His vision clouded with spots as he tried to compose himself and remember where he was at – he reached over desperately patting at the space next to him in the bed, his mind foggy and immediately thinking that Klaus might be panicking in the darkness as well. His hand fell against nothing but cold sheets and he remembered that Klaus was working that night.

Dave nearly fell out of bed at the sound of a terrified scream that pierced through the massive storm. He stood up despite the trembling in his legs and staggered out of the bedroom, attempting to flip the light on with no luck as he passed the door frame. He moved blindly into the darkened apartment, his fingers brushing against the wall, moving forward as fast as he could.

Another clap of thunder rattled the walls which was immediately followed by a close crack of lightning bombarded his senses. The storm’s wrath was followed by another shriek of terror, closer this time and by the time he made it to the kitchen, Kenzie collided with him – nearly knocking him off his feet. The five-year-old clung to his leg and screamed again, her body was hot, and his skin was burning through his pajama pants.

He reached down and picked her up, pressing her firmly against his shoulder as she screamed again at the next clap of thunder. He didn’t blame her for this reaction, the storm had knocked out the power and was violently churning on top of them, sending sheets of rain into the windows and electrifying the air.

“Kenzie- Just breath, it’s just a storm. It’s going to be okay.”

Big talk coming from the guy who wanted nothing more than to hide under the table and cover his ears until it was over. Maybe not the man who should be taking care of a child during a storm as every rattle of the walls constricted his chest and sent bolts of painful panic down his spine. But Klaus wasn’t here and if Ben was, he wasn’t corporeal.

“Momma!” She grabbed onto his shirt and tried to shake him, ”Momma’s outside! In the storm! Momma’s in the storm! We have to- Have to –“ She curled up against his chest, still fisting the fabric of his tank top, “MOMMA!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay - Momma’s fine. Shh… Shh…”

Klaus was fine, just holed up in a hotel on the other side of town. And it took a little while but eventually Kenzie stopped panicking. She was currently sitting on the window seat staring out into the raging storm, lit candles and blankets surrounded her, casting soft light against the walls.

“I’m going to get us some drinks, okay, Kenz’?

She glanced back at him with big worried eyes, “Don’t go too far…”

He smiled and ruffled her hair slightly, “I’m just going in the next room, I promise.”

He took a flashlight and went into the kitchen, a moment later he was bent over the counter, he let out a shaky exhale and ground his teeth together. He raised his hands up and watched as they trembled violently out of his control. He squeezed his fists and pressed them against his chest, inhaling and exhaling to a slow rhythm.

A light scratching sound next to him made him open one eye to see the planchette on the ouija board they kept on the island for when Klaus was gone, moving slowly across the surface. It stopped on “U” then it moved to a “O” then finally “K”

Dave nodded, “Yeah, yeah - I’m okay - Sorry.” He flashed the most reassuring smile he could muster to where he could only assume that Ben was standing, “Don’t worry, I got this.”

He shook himself out then after giving up on glasses, just grabbed a carton of milk and two plastic cups. When he got back to the other room, Kenzie was on the edge of the seat staring in the direction he had left.

“Told you I’d be back soon -” He handed her a cup then with some difficulty poured some milk into it, followed up by his own.

Soon they were both sitting at the window seat with their drinks gazing into the darkened city below as the storm raged on just past their safety glass pane. Kenzie was tucked under his arm watching as the wind howled and the lighting snapped across the horizon. On her lap, the Rot-rot doll clattered, making a sound like a cartoonish teeth chattering bit.

They watched together as the storm slowly began to roll out and finally Kenzie fell asleep under his arm while he monitored the night until finally the lights came back on.

**********************************************************************************************

Kenzie finally looked up at the audience, her eyes falling on Dave for a brief moment as if gaging his reaction,

“Or spiders. Or the bogeyman. He’s not scared of anything at all.”

She turned to the last page, “My dad is my important person because I don’t want him to go away.”

“And someday I would like to be as strong and as brave as my dad.” She flipped the book closed and presented the back cover, “I love my dad.”

She bowed and the audience clapped as they had done for every child but Dave was sitting forward with a hand covering his mouth. Klaus rubbed his tense shoulder sweetly as he attempted not to crumble in the middle of the audience.

“That was all her - She wanted to surprise you.”

Dave had to wait patiently as the last child finished their presentation then the whole class lined up and took a bow. With one last pause to allow everyone to get their pictures all of the family began to spill out of the uncomfortable little plastic seats to see their child.

Dave wandered forward in a sort of emotional daze only to realize after a moment that Klaus and Ben had lagged behind, he moved forward until he found Kenzie waiting nervously off to the side of a few families. He didn’t know what to say - but he was overwhelmed by something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

She looked up and tugged on the edges of her beanie, “Dave, I was wondering if I could call you ‘dad’?

He knelt down to her level, “Kenzie - I would be honored.”

She walked up and hugged his neck tightly. He pulled her against his chest and squeezed her close, standing up and shifting her to his hip. “I need you to know that was the best thing I’ve ever gotten in my life. Those medals I got? They don’t mean nothing to me - being your dad is the most important thing I’ve ever done, hands down.”

She smiled, “I love you, dad!”

He hugged her again, “I love you, Kenzie.” he grinned, feeling like he had the sun in his chest for the first time in his life.

They looked over to see Klaus standing with his hand over his heart and his head tilted to the side in awe. Next to him, Ben was standing with an encouraging smile. When they were spotted they jogged over to them.

Klaus opened his arms, “That was beautiful!”

Dave moved to him and without thinking used his free hand to bring his boyfriend close and kiss him proudly, Klaus kissed back, pulling an arm around his back. When they broke apart Klaus opened his eyes and then pressed a kiss to Kenzie’s cheek, “Muah! I’m so proud of you!”

“We’re so proud of you!” Ben interjected, being pulled into the huddle until he was squished between his brother and Kenzie on Dave’s hip. They hugged as a weird little family, earning several confused glances from the families around them.

After a few moments, Dave dropped his head against Klaus’ chest with a comfortable sigh and he felt his boyfriend reach up and run his fingers through his short hair and for a moment it was like they were the only two people in the room. Klaus opened his mouth and whispered against his ear as if he was reading his mind, “You deserve so much love, David… or should I say ‘dad’?”

**********************************************************************************************

A very important person. By Kenzie Grace Hargreeves. That’s me.
A very important person to me. Is my dad. I have two dads-
A momma dad and a dad dad – I’m talking about my dad.
My dad is a firefighter and he is very strong. He teaches me about fire safety.
My dad knows a lot about a lot of things and is good at fixing broken things.
It’s because my dad likes to read books. Big books with lots of pages and cool pictures. My momma calls him a nerd, but I like his stories.
He has a cool tattoo and I like when he draws with me.
He’s the best cook
That's just some things that I like about my dad,
My dad always takes care of my momma.
When he’s sick…
And also, when he’s just fine!
My momma is very happy when he’s around and that makes me happy too.
My dad is so tough and I know that he won’t let anything happen to me.
My dad is very brave. My momma says that he’s got medals because he was so brave. But I don’t need to see the medals because I already know that he’s not afraid of anything.
He’s not afraid of storms even when they are big...
Or spiders.
Or the bogeyman
He’s not scared of anything at all
My dad is my important person because I don’t want him to go away
And someday I would like to be as strong and as brave as my dad.
I love my dad