Cuddling over Climax
So There is a lot to unpack here from the summary. But I've been thinking about it for a few days and it's a lot. Let's start with L. So over the course of this discussion it's been surmised that she has a history of being a serial cheater. But after listening to her own words on relationships. Is it serial cheating or an inability to commit to ONE relationship per se.
I admit I am confused on the subject because there's what she said in the podcast and what she put on Istagram. She talks about monogamy and it being a choice. It's hard to have monogamy AND an open relationship. I suppose you can if all parties respect the rules. But thats a dangerous place to live in.
Ok so to begin. L is talking about the dangers of having casual sex with a partner that can't handle that situation. So the premise is that for HER, she values Intimacy over the sex act. Which is RICH considering we all agree that even if we don't think Cynthiana have crossed the sexual barrier, they damn sure have the emotional Intimacy.
But to stay on point. 1.--- She values the meeting of the minds. Sitting up and talking to someone for all night. All that. Meeting people and having that connection. It doesn't have to lead to sex. They can have that emotional bonding but yeah including that WITH sex is just as fine with her too. Or just having sex. But she does say that basically she only brings in a potential lover if they can have sex and WALK AWAY.
Thats the key. She went into a long spiel about rejecting potential partners out of love. Basically that if they can't handle the after sex part. Basically going back to their lives and she hers. then you MUST say NO.
The interviewer asked her straight out if lots of people wanted to have sex with her. And that smug ass look her face said everything. She's used to having things her way. She's very logical about it. All this screamed to me at least. this is how she operates. How their relationship operates. ALLEGEDLY. I was shocked she was being as open about it as she was, because she comes off as very secretive and now honestly I know why.
She's a fuck boy. A fuck boy with a live in girlfriend. But she gets her validation and intimacy in multiple places.
Heres' the thing. I completely can see how Cynthia, a younger Cynthia, new to Hollywood, a foreigner, away from her support systems could fall for Lena. She's very articulate and a genius at what she does. A creative who is black and has earned the power she has to a certain extinct in Black Hollywood. Plus she's a lesbian and up until that point Cynthia wasn't exploring her Queerness openly. A reminder that L was not only sleeping with Cynthia but with others (ALLEGEDLY) while she was in a long term relationship and eventual wife. It's clear this is who she is and these are the types of relationships she wants to have. And any partner she chooses is gonna have to agree to that lifestyle.
Cynthia is private too. But then again look at how they get down, thats not something you're gonna broadcast. We all know Hollywood is fucked up. And fucked up things happen there, consentual and non-consensual. But she does not comment on her love life. Period. Hell, they are not affectionate in public and haven't been for years. Which is wild. cuz if im in love. I wanna post a lovely pic every now and then. I wanna scream happy birthday to my baby. Something!
That said. Listening to this Podcast and the clip she posted on Instagram about Monogamy. WHICH. THE AUDACITY TO POST ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD. Like. is basically saying that having outside lovers help keep a relationship going. Because the person fucking around can fuck around and come back home. They have that outlet. BUT when you start having side chicks and elevating them in status etc..... thats where the cheating comes in
So...In Conclusion...in our "Tell'em Why Ya Mad" segment. L is mad because she feel like Cynthia has broken the rules. The rules she has laid down and that C agreed to. Whether you think they fucked or not. She broke the rules. We can only assumed they have had heated conversations about the situation. And Cyn is being stubborn about the situation. She's elevated the Side chick who was never supposed to reach side chick status to begin with if you follow L's logic. It was supposed to be meeting of the minds, maybe sex and carryon.
She is feeling a certain way about it all. The crash outs are a result. C and A are very affectionate publicly. I'd hate to see them in private. But they are let's keep it real. All over each other. Cynthia said herself Ari brings out this other side of herself. And she grounds Ari, is very protective of her. its Ying and Yang.
so those are my two cents on the podcast and the clips. I was gonna get into power dynamics but this post is long as fuck
It's already been RIP to email notifications for 2 days LOL. 200 comments is wild. But I love the conversation.