~ I’m falling in love
But it’s falling apart
I need to find my way back to the start ~
Dahyun’s hands fumble around the stereo shutting it down. Heaving a sigh, she leans back into the car seat, arms behind her head and closes her eyes for a bit, allowing herself to recover from the recent four-hour drive.
The journey from Seoul to Busan is hectic as always. As much as she loves the night drive experience, she hates the traffic jams that come along with it, not to mention driving back home on a Friday when most people are out partying and packing the streets. The fact that she had also spent a grueling day of exams at the university doesn’t help her case as well.
She could’ve chosen to travel the next morning, during the wee hours where the chances of being stuck in a traffic jam are reduced to a minimum. But then again, the last time she considered that option and allowed herself to succumb in her cozy bed and thick soft sheets at the dorm, she ended up sleeping all day, the plan of going home forgotten. School works and organization duties pile up here and there and soon she realizes four busy weekends have passed and that it has been a month since she last saw home.
The thing is, Dahyun may be a lazy-ass, sleep-loving animal but she never, never ever forgets to go home at least once every two weeks, if not weekly.
And nope, not for the sake of her parents. Dahyun could’ve swore they wouldn’t even mind.
Don’t get them wrong, it’s not that they don’t love her. It’s just that with career-oriented parents (a businessman for a dad and a lawyer for a mom), she’s kind of used to not always having them around and vice versa. Apparently, their equation for “Raising Your Kid the Right Way” purely involves giving Dahyun pocket money for school lunch and spoiling her with unnecessary expensive gifts on her birthdays.
At least they remember her birthday. And they call to check up on her from time to time too.
So Dahyun doesn’t even spare a glance at their grandiose yet dark and isolated mansion (she knows it’s empty anyway), but rather turns her attention to their neighboring residence, because in that very house resides the sole reason why Dahyun endures all odds to travel back to Busan.
Her best friend, Mina.
Dahyun feels her exhaustion ease off at the thought of seeing her again. She may or may not have a secret crush on said best friend although she consistently brushes it aside for the sake of “friendship” or whatever sorry excuse her mind comes up with. Truth is, she doesn’t want to lose her so she merely contents herself with being her friend, shoving that teeny bit of (or is it?) attraction away from her system.
Grabbing her car keys, she steps down from her Ford Ranger, a congratulatory gift from her parents for passing the highly sought Seoul National University, and makes her way towards their neighbor’s doorstep.
It only takes her a few knocks before a woman in her fifties, her nearly gray hair tied in a bun and clad in an apron, opens the door for her.
“Dahyun, what a surprise!” The older woman greets her with a motherly smile then proceeds to wrap her in a hug. ”It’s good to see you back, dear.”
Mrs. Myoui is her best friend’s mother and the mother she never had. Growing up as an only child with her parents usually gone, Dahyun spent most of her childhood in the Myoui household. Dahyun didn’t feel the need to be indifferent around them, their family is just so welcoming, treating her as one of their own kin.
“It’s good to see you too, auntie,” Dahyun beams, enthusiastically returning the hug.
Mrs. Myoui offers Dahyun a pair of slippers to wear and leads her inside. “Did you come straight from Seoul?”
Dahyun nods as they enter the living room. She is quick to distinguish the enormous changes since her last visit, the king-sized sofa replaced with a smaller couch, a much older model of television resting atop the wooden counter, the priceless paintings and vases that used to decorate the once lavish household gone.
Dahyun looks at Mrs. Myoui with a tight-lipped smile. She notices the dark circles that have formed in the older woman’s eyes, how pale and thin her build is now, completely different from a month ago. Things must have been really difficult for them nowadays.
“Auntie, you know if there’s anything I can do to help with Mina’s--”
Mrs. Myoui cuts Dahyun off by placing a hand above hers. “I appreciate the offer, Dahyun-ah. But really, it’s okay. We can manage.” She offers a small smile.
“But auntie…” Dahyun opens her mouth to argue. The Myoui family has given her nothing but love and warmth when she was young and the least she could do is support them, even if it means financially.
The older woman lets out a defeated sigh, knowing full well that the younger girl won’t budge. “Okay, can you promise me one thing?” At Dahyun’s nod, she says, “Can you promise me that you will stay by Mina’s side no matter what happens? It’s all I ask.”
Dahyun gently squeezes Mrs. Myoui’s hand, meeting her gaze, “Of course, auntie.” Even if you didn’t ask me to, I will always be here for Mina.
Mrs. Myoui returns the gesture, smiling broadly. “It’s a promise then.” She shifts her vision to the kitchen. “I must get back to my cooking. Care to stay for dinner?”
“Sure, auntie. I’d love that.” Dahyun answers with a grin. She cranes her neck to peer at the staircase leading upstairs.
Mrs. Myoui chuckles at Dahyun’s actions. “Go ahead. Mina’s in her bedroom. She’s been having a fit these days probably because you took too long to visit.”
Dahyun stifles a laugh. When Mina is upset, she channels the five-year old kid within her, talking about irresistible pouts and a fiery temper.
“But don’t tell her I said that,” Mrs. Myoui winks as she disappears into the hallway towards the kitchen.
As Dahyun climbs up the stairs, she can’t help but feel giddy at the thought of Mina missing her. She envisions multiple scenarios of Mina’s reaction when she sees her: Mina squealing in glee and jumping into her arms, Mina hugging her tightly and telling her how much she missed her and the like. However, all expectations went down the drain when she found Mina’s door locked.
That is odd. Mina rarely locks the door. She tries to knock.
“Go away!”
Wow, guess I’m getting tantrums instead.
She knocks again.
“Mom, I said I don’t want to eat!”
Yup, definitely not the scene I imagined.
“Mina, it’s me. Open up,” Dahyun calls affectionately.
She hears the shuffling of feet from the other side and within seconds, the door swung open revealing a girl around her age wearing an oversized grey hoodie and plaid pyjamas (Dahyun’s), glowering at her.
“Dahyun-ah? What brings you here?”
The question falls into Dahyun’s deaf ears as she barges inside, crashing on Mina's bed, face down. Closing her eyes, the fatigue from the trip creeps back in every bit of her muscle, almost lulling her to sleep if not for her best friend’s overly dramatic speech (rambling) and incessant pacing.
“You finally remembered to visit AFTER a month. Things must’ve been so busy for you that you even forgot to call or text me -- I mean, it’s not like I’m forcing you to. I’m pretty sure you also have friends there, right? And maybe you have tons of schoolwork to do. So yeah, I kind of understand why it took you so long but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to text me--”
Dahyun turns to Mina, flashing a cheeky grin, “Yeah sure, I miss you too, Minari.”
Mina’s rambling comes to a halt, her mouth hanging open. She tries to think of a snappy retort but fails due to the sudden heat crawling on her cheeks flushing them with a shade of pink.
All of these go unnoticed by Dahyun whose attention is preoccupied by her surroundings. It is then she realizes that Mina had painted her whole room with white. White walls, white bookcase, white curtains, white desk, white everything.
“What the hell? What happened to your room?” Dahyun squints, the brightness of the room was too much for the human eye, as if being directly poked with a stick.
Recovering from her flustered state, Mina drops sloppily on the bed and flatly lets out a “Why do you care?” She begins to kick Dahyun towards the foot of the bed so she can take up more space.
Dahyun gapes at her in disbelief, or at least tries to because she keeps blinking, adjusting to the room’s brightness. “Excuse me? For someone who’s an adult now, I expect more than that attitude, missy,” she says, emphasizing the word “adult” to which Mina scoffs.
“Exactly. I’m an adult now. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Mina emphasizes the word even more and glares at Dahyun, egging her on.
Dahyun sighs, acknowledging how useless it will be to argue with Mina right now, and moves closer towards her. Mina backs off from the other girl’s advances until her back hits the headboard with a thud. Determined, Dahyun continues to inch her face forward in an attempt to meet Mina’s gaze but the latter chooses to bring her knees to a hug and hangs her head low, like a turtle desperately hiding inside its shell.
“I’m sorry.”
It was all Dahyun could muster as she reaches out and pats Mina’s head endearingly. Mina pretended not to care, as if she couldn’t feel the warmth in Dahyun’s every caress, as if she couldn’t feel millions of unexplained jolts lingering in her stomach at every touch; but in all honesty, she’s loving every second of it.
“I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just-- ” Mina murmurs. Although with her head down, Dahyun could sense she was pouting.
“It’s okay. Do you want to tell me why you’re upset?” Dahyun gently responds, continuously stroking Mina’s hair. “Did you fight with your mom again?” she asks, her voice full of concern and worry.
Mina is silent, unmoving but doesn’t complain when Dahyun lifts her head by the chin. Dahyun searches for Mina’s eyes, watches as her hardened orbs melt into her gaze. Slowly, Dahyun tears down the wall Mina built, the strong facade she’s been upholding ever since her best friend’s arrival.
Averting her eyes, Mina admits out of nowhere, “I rarely eat these days. Mom’s been such a real nag about it.”
“But you have to,” Dahyun coos at her. “It’s the only way to keep you healthy.”
“What’s the point? I’m dying anyway.” Mina says it in a cold piercing way that if Dahyun doesn’t know that Mina is afraid of dying she’d believe her.
Several months ago, Mina was having the time of her life; passing the same university as Dahyun with her dream major, planning the move to the city, outlining what the future holds for her. That is until she was diagnosed with a rare genetic brain disease, the same illness that took her father’s life a few years back.
Dahyun remembers the doctor saying that although they discovered the condition at its early stage, the chances of survival are quite uncertain. The string of hope tying Mina’s life as of date are a series of chemotherapies along with a dozen costly medications. Ever since then, Mina has been trying to put a brave act in front of everyone, shielding herself away from people so as to avoid being pitied on.
Wrapping Mina in an embrace, Dahyun softly says, “Sshh, Minari. Don’t say that.” She begins to rub circles on her back now. “You’ll make it. You’re gonna be okay.” As if the reminder is not only for Mina but also to herself. I’ll make sure of it.
Neither of them dare say a word. Just Dahyun holding Mina in the most delicate way possible. Just Mina savoring her sanctuary that is Dahyun’s arms. The silence lasts until Mina’s mom calls them for dinner.
“I don’t want to eat, Dahyunnie.”
It is a fact that whenever Mina pulls out the “Dahyunnie card” she always always gets what she wants. The moment Dahyun hears her nickname, she’s practically convinced it’s game over. Well, that and the way Mina looks at her with her signature puppy dog eyes.
Dahyun purses her lips, fighting the urge to yield. She studies Mina’s features for a while, noticing how the past month changed her into a pale puny build. She knows better than to let her best friend skip another meal again. Who knows when was the last time she had her meal?
An idea suddenly crosses her mind. Dahyun mentally high-fives herself for being a genius.
“Want to go on a picnic?”
Mina raises an eyebrow, Dahyun has gone crazy.
“As in right now? But where?”
Dahyun just grins as she tugs her outside the bedroom.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“If I only knew that your idea of a picnic is here, I wouldn’t have agreed.”
Both girls hop out of the car. Mina takes in the view before her while Dahyun goes behind the car to get their things.
Dahyun snorts, rummaging through their stuff, “I doubt. You’d even follow me to the ends of the earth, Myoui.”
“I’m not some lovesick puppy, you know.”
“I didn’t say you are.”
Mina huffs in defeat to which Dahyun snickers.
“Quit whining and help me set these up, will you?”
Mina begrudgingly complies as she takes the mat Dahyun hands her and climbs up the hill while her companion gathers their picnic essentials from the car. They arrive at a familiar hillside not too far from their neighborhood. Atop the hill rests an old oak tree, with branches wide enough for shade and a sturdy trunk. Somewhere in the middle of its bark, messily engraved are Mina and Dahyun’s initials “M x D”. This is Mina and Dahyun’s not-so secret haven.
Settling down on the picnic mat she had rolled, Mina reminisces the fun afternoons she and Dahyun used to spend at this very place, running around catching dragonflies or just lying down on the grassy area, basking in the warmth of the sun.
She’d give anything just to go back to those times. Back when things were simple. Back when she wasn’t plagued with some stupid disease.
The flick in her forehead snaps Mina out of her thoughts. To no one’s surprise, she finds Dahyun beside her, sporting a smug grin on her face while clutching a blanket on one hand and a picnic basket on the other.
Mina glares at her, “Would it kill you not to annoy me for just one second?”
Dahyun shrugs nonchalantly. She plops down beside Mina and begins to take out the meal Mrs. Myoui packed for them. Although reluctant at first with the idea of a picnic at night especially with her sickly daughter involved, Mrs. Myoui later on agrees, saying that if it’s the only way she could get Mina to eat, then she’ll go with it. Together, they find an assortment of rice balls, egg rolls, fruits and Dahyun’s all-time favorite snack, choco pie. Dahyun almost cried at the thought of Mrs. Myoui remembering her favorite (and regularly keeping a stock).
Picking up a roll, Dahyun offers one to Mina, which the latter relentlessly declines to eat. “Minari, just one. Please?”
Mina stares at the rice roll then groans. She opens her mouth as her best friend feeds her, chewing reluctantly on probably her first food intake for the day. She suddenly feels a pang of pain somewhere in her head but quickly ignores it, so as not to alarm Dahyun who seems to be in high spirits with the small feat she just made.
The two share a much needed catching up session while enjoying their picnic. Mina tells Dahyun about how staying at home gets so boring in the long run that she recently indulged in a new hobby, knitting. (Aww that’s so cute, Dahyun interjects. Mina shoots daggers at her. She doesn’t want anybody commenting about her soft side, even if it’s her best friend). She also updates her about the latest tricks she taught Ray, the community dog that passes by their street every morning, as well as the tedious work she dealt with just to teach him. She even tells Dahyun about the property she owns in Minecraft and how she finds the villagers’ small noises cute.
Dahyun fondly listens to Mina, noting the way she perks up while recounting never-ending stories that happened during the past month. How her eyes light up when she shares about Ray or her video game escapades, the excited giggles she tries so hard to hold while talking about knitting, the way she seems to be full of life again. If ever Dahyun wants to replay a memory in her head over and over again, it will be this moment.
Mina comes to a pause. She realizes that she’s been talking for a while now and that she’s getting more tired but hides it by gulping down some water. Thankfully, Dahyun hasn’t noticed.
“What about you? How’s college life?” she probes.
“Eh, nothing much. Same old routine. Study. Socialize. Sleep. Repeat.”
“Lame. You should date.”
Only the sound of crickets chirping loudly from a distance can be heard.
“I can’t.” Dahyun admits.
Mina shifts her body so her head can rest on Dahyun’s chest. The throbbing in her head has been persisting for some time now.
“Why?”
Dahyun is silent. Mina rarely encounters this side of Dahyun before, being all serious and deep in thought. She’s always used to Dahyun’s bright personality, the kind that would make her smile and annoy her at times.
“I already like someone.”
The statement catches Mina’s attention. Even though they have been the best of friends for years, Dahyun, unlike Mina, tends to keep some personal stuff to herself. Not that Mina minds, she knows that Dahyun is a private person and she respects that. She just couldn’t believe that her best friend was capable of keeping her crush a secret from her. Deep down, she feels a disturbing ache in her heart. Is it because she kept it a secret from me? Or is it jealousy?
She turns Dahyun whose gaze is fixed on the stars above. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
Dahyun cooly replies, “Who says it’s a guy?”
Oh.
“Don’t you play smart with me. Who’s the girl then?” Mina can’t help but feel curious about the girl who has captured her best friend’s interest.
Dahyun hesitates for a bit, Mina could tell. As she awaits Dahyun’s answer, she could hear the clamorous thumping of her chest and feel a tight knot forming on her stomach.
“Well, she’s also from Busan.”
Mina waits for her to continue, the thought of Dahyun’s crush living in their hometown sparks her curiosity more. Maybe one of our former high school classmates.
“She’s smart.”
A pause.
“She’s kind and loyal, hmmmmm but annoying and childish at times.”
Mina raises her head from Dahyun’s chest, curiosity getting the best of her. “Is she pretty?”
Dahyun averts her eyes from the stars above, meeting Mina’s questioning gaze. “She’s very beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on.”
Ow.
“Hey! What was that for?”
At that point, Mina admits two things. One, that slapping her best friend real hard by the arm is a rather immature move to show her annoyance. Two, that the bitter feeling she can’t seem to shake off actually turns out to be jealousy. She realizes she doesn’t want Kim Dahyun to like some random beautiful and smart Busan girl. She wants it to be her. But the probability of that happening is the same as winning the jackpot in a lottery, so like a five-year throwing a fit, she turns her back against Dahyun, arms across her chest refusing to acknowledge her existence.
“I hate you.” Mina grumbles later on.
Dahyun stops from rubbing her sore arm, then erupts into chaotic laughs. The rolling-on-the-floor-laughing kind.
“Oh my God. Are you jealous?”
This prompts Mina to face Dahyun, with flushed cheeks and a menacing look. “I swear, Kim Dahyun if you don’t stop laughing this instant I will end you.”
Sensing the gravity of her best friend’s threat, Dahyun’s laughs fade into muffled sounds. She traps Mina in an embrace, a foolproof attempt to tame her best friend’s temper. Mina squirms to escape, but Dahyun just hugs her more tightly.
“Do you want to know more about the girl I like?”
The last thing Mina wants in life right now is to know more about the girl her best friend likes. She hasn’t even met her yet she already hates the idea of her. Nonetheless, it probably wouldn’t hurt to be informed. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. (Yes she considers the girl her rival now)
“Okay, fine.” She mumbles. In her mind, blaming the hug for softening her edges.
Mina feels Dahyun puff out a long sigh, tightening the hold around her. “The girl I like.. I- it’s you.”
Error 404 Mina not found.
It didn’t occur to Mina that the girl Dahyun is pertaining to is actually her. She might as well have someone scribble the word “dumb” across her forehead in all caps.
But is this really happening?
She pulls away from Dahyun’s grasp, eyeing her threateningly, “Are you toying with me? If this is some kind of hidden camera prank --”
Dahyun cups Mina’s cheeks with one hand and looks straight at her, “Mina, I like you.” Her voice echoes through the cool breeze like a whisper yet the sincerity and firmness are enough to make Mina’s heart flutter.
It’s not the first time that someone confesses their feelings to her but in that moment, Mina forgets how to speak, let alone comprehend the sudden confession. The pain in her head slightly subsides but somehow the words “Mina”, “I”, “like”, and “you” joined together causes her brain to short-circuit terribly.
“I -- uhh,” She clears her throat. Get a grip, self! Just say something… anything.
Mina stares at Dahyun’s anticipating gaze, wondering how those obsidian-colored orbs hold an entire galaxy and that she wouldn’t mind getting lost in them.
Fuck it.
She closes the gap between her and Dahyun, pressing her lips against hers. She feels the other girl froze from the contact and is about to pull back from embarrassment when Dahyun tugs her by the sleeve, deepening the kiss. Dahyun’s mouth tastes like chocolate and vanilla and every little thing that Mina favors in the world combined into one ecstatic flavor. To say that Mina is on cloud nine is an understatement.
They break apart, gasping for oxygen. Mina lets her forehead rest on Dahyun’s, eyes closed, afraid that the moment she opens them everything would just turn out to be a dream. When she opens her eyes a little later, she proves herself wrong.
“It took you some time to figure out, huh? And here I am thinking you were smart.” Dahyun suddenly teases.
Mina rolls her eyes, “Whatever. At least I’m not someone who’s been secretly crushing on her best friend.”
“Touché.”
The sky had turned a much darker shade exposing stars at their full strength, shining ever so brightly. The cold wind breezes through making Mina shiver. Dahyun is quick to wrap an arm around her while draping a blanket on them together. Mina eases into the embrace and lets her arms fall on Dahyun’s waist.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to stay like this forever?”
Dahyun hums in agreement. She couldn’t wish for anything more.
“I don’t mind dying right now.” Mina jokes as she closes her eyes, ignoring the recurring headache she has been suppressing for a while, and settles her head on Dahyun’s chest.
“Don’t you dare. I am NOT carrying your dead body in my pickup.”
Mina only chuckles in response. The pain hasn’t stopped and probably doesn’t plan on stopping any moment now.
“Are you okay? You sound tired.” Dahyun asks, her voice laced with concern.
It takes a good minute and half before she feels Mina nod.
Dahyun senses Mina’s weight on her chest get heavier by the minute and checks to see if the girl has fallen asleep. She nudges her to wake up. “Come on, let’s go home.”
Mina does not move, or make any attempt to.
“Mina?”
No reaction.
“Mina, hey. Stay with me.” She cradles Mina in her arms and taps her cheeks, waiting for any sign of movement. Panic settles in when the other girl just lays there motionless, eyes still closed.
“Open your eyes. Please.”
Dahyun desperately calls out Mina’s name over and over again, her cries dissolving into thin air.
No. It can’t be.
“Minari, please don’t leave me.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dahyun mindlessly trudges along the seemingly endless corridor of the funeral building she just entered, failing to realize that she had just arrived at the designated room holding out the memorial service. With every ounce of her soundness left, she slides the door open.
She is greeted by a sea of people in black, some in deep conversations while others quietly focusing on their meals. The dusky atmosphere contrasts with the various lilac-colored flower wreaths scattered within the boundaries of the cramped service room. In the middle of everything lies an urn together with a framed photo of the deceased.
She approaches the head mourner whom she instantly recognizes as Mina’s uncle and bows in respect. “Uncle, I’m sorry for your loss. My condolences.”
The man, who Dahyun assumes is now in his fifties but doesn’t look like it due to his strong demeanor, turns to her with a somber expression. He pats her in the back and mutters a silent thank you.
Dahyun gives the man a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and asks, “How are you holding up, uncle?”
The older man could only offer her a sad smile. “Nothing I cannot handle. Although I do worry about her. This might be too hard for her.”
Dahyun doesn’t even need to ask who in particular he’s referring to.
“Where is she?”
The man points at a nearby room. “Over there by the family lounge room. She said she wants to be alone for the meantime but I believe she’ll change her mind when she sees you.”
Dahyun excuses herself and enters the adjacent room. Strangely, the room’s lights are off, so she navigates around, finding the light switch, nearly tripping from what she could make out as the edge of a couch, until she manages to turn it on.
She finds a lone figure curled on the side of the couch, staring at the walls, lost in thought.
“Mina.”
Mina breaks out of her reverie at the sound of Dahyun calling her name. In a blink, she rushes into Dahyun’s outstretched arms, almost knocking the other girl off balance. She buries herself in her best friend’s-- and now girlfriend’s-- embrace, shaking uncontrollably as she finally releases the tears she had been trying to hold back.
“Dahyun-ah,” Mina says in between sobs, “mom is-- she’s gone.”
It’s not the first time that Dahyun has heard of this information yet Mina’s cries hit her with the reality that indeed, Mrs. Myoui has passed. She bites back her lips and swallows the lump forming on her throat. She knows this is not the time to break down. She needs to be strong for Mina.
Dahyun doesn’t say anything, just lets Mina collapse into her embrace. It’s not that she needed to, she just didn’t have to. She simply tightens her hold around Mina, grazing soft kisses on her girlfriend’s temple every now and then, the kind of assurance that no matter what happens, she’ll always be there by her side.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“I wish I had been a more filial daughter.”
The two are seated together on the couch. Mina leans on Dahyun’s shoulder while lazily drawing circles with her thumb on their intertwined fingers.
“It’s not your fault you were born with a rebellious side-- ow!”
Mina smacks Dahyun’s arm from the side, making her groan in agony. Dahyun massages the area and acts as if inflicted with some major injury. Mina flashes her a peace sign and makes up for it by pecking her on the cheek.
“Okay, but seriously though,” Dahyun continues, “You were everything your mom wished for.”
Mina fumbles with the hem of Dahyun’s shirt. “I don’t know. I caused too many troubles. My chemotherapy sessions and medications before were so expensive we barely managed.”
Five years have passed since Mina’s near-death experience. The road to recovery was tough and rather expensive, talking about painful chemotherapies and hospital bills. There were days when she felt like losing the battle, when she can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was during these times that Dahyun and her mom became her pillar of support and with that, Mina kept on going until a year ago, when she was declared free from her nightmare of an illness.
A miracle. A second chance. A fresh start. It was all Mina had hoped for.
But when she thought things were finally going her way, life has its own way to prove her wrong.
Mrs. Myoui passed away in her sleep, peacefully in her bed. A natural death one might say but to Mina’s eyes it was her mother’s frail body finally giving in, worn out from tirelessly taking care of her when she was sick, from the sleepless nights at the hospital, from the burden of hospital bills.
Cupping Mina’s face in both hands, Dahyun says, ”Hey, look at me.” Mina does what she is told. “You were never a burden. Please don’t think that. Your mom-- there was nothing more she loved in the world than you. You were her priceless treasure.”
Dahyun’s words of reassurance gradually washes away the cloud of guilt and regret hovering her thoughts. She realizes she was probably not the easiest daughter to handle, considering her sometimes (not) bratty attitude but luckily, the heavens have blessed her with the most caring and understanding mother. She feels sorry and thankful for her mom at the same time.
“Thank you, Dahyunnie. You always know what to say.” Mina wonders what she would do without her.
Dahyun responds by bowing slightly and brushes a kiss at the back of Mina’s hand, her best attempt at imitating a charming royal prince, “The pleasure is mine, milady.”
Mina couldn’t contain her giggles at the sight of her girlfriend’s silly antics.
“Aha. Finally she smiles.” Dahyun triumphantly exclaims and does a little victory dance.
“You’re such a dork.”
“I know,” Dahyun smirks. “That’s what you love about me, right?”
Mina rolls her eyes but deep inside she admits it’s true.
“Come, I’ll show you something.” Dahyun stands up from the couch, offering a hand to Mina.
Mina furrows her eyebrows at Dahyun, confused but takes her hand anyway. Dahyun drags her in the direction of the memorial service room.
The room is nearly empty, save for a few of Mina’s relatives in the far corner. Mina lets Dahyun pull her to the middle in front of her mother’s urn. She watches Dahyun bend her knees, respectfully bowing twice before assuming a seated position. Dahyun tugs her by the wrist, inviting her to sit as well.
Dahyun looks at Mina like she was expecting her to read her mind or something. Mina still doesn’t have any idea what her girlfriend is up to so she just stares at her.
Letting out an exhale, Dahyun tilts her head towards the urn and whispers, “Talk to auntie.”
“What? Are you insane?” Mina hisses.
“Come on, I know there’s some things you didn’t get to tell her.” Dahyun encourages her.
Mina pushes the side of her mouth with her tongue, debating on the idea in her head. She thinks back to the times when she could’ve told her mom how much she appreciates and loves her but decided not to because it might come across as cheesy or corny. She regrets that she wasn’t able to do that.
Mustering up courage, she briefly looks at Dahyun before facing her mom’s framed photo. “Hey mom,” she says weakly. “I may not have been the perfect daughter but please know that I love you very much.” A tear escapes from her eye which she immediately wipes off. “I miss you and I’m sorry. I’m always thankful that you were my mom. I wouldn’t-- I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She manages to finish despite the cracking in her voice.
Dahyun places a hand on Mina’s, giving it a tight squeeze. If Dahyun weren’t here, she was sure that she would’ve broken down, ugly crying. She glances affectionately at Dahyun who’s now conversing with her late mother.
“Auntie, it’s me, Dahyunnie. Your second favorite daughter.” Dahyun addresses the framed photo of Mrs. Myoui before looking at Mina, a small smile curling on her lips.
“We miss you. A lot. But it’s time for you to get some proper rest up there, okay?” Dahyun forces a smile but the lump on her throat prevents her from doing so she gulps. Mina clasps their hands together sensing that Dahyun is on the verge of crying. Dahyun continues, “You don’t have to worry about our Minari. I know she may be stubborn but you can always count on me. Remember the promise I made you?”
Mina gives Dahyun a puzzled look but Dahyun leans closer to the frame and mumbles something inaudible.
As they exit the room, Mina, curious as ever, starts pestering Dahyun with questions about what she had just told her mom.
“Dahyunnieeee~”
“What?”
“What did you tell mom?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dahyun says, feigning innocence.
Pouting, Mina turns around to walk out but Dahyun grasps her hand before she could attempt to.
“It might involve some vows and a ring though.”
It doesn’t take a genius to put two-and-two together. Mina knows exactly what her girlfriend’s talking about.
Dahyun twirls Mina around and catches her by the waist. She places a soft kiss on Mina’s temple, “Please don’t ever leave me again, Minari.”
Mina revels in the warmth of Dahyun’s kiss.
“Never.”