Carla finds Lisa in the family room, fluorescent lighting flickering and reflecting off the fresh tear tracks that run down Lisa’s face. She doesn’t look up when Carla enters, staring blankly at a spot on the floor. Carla says nothing, quietly moving to her partner’s side and taking her hand. The action causes Lisa to jump slightly, so lost in her thoughts that she only just registered Carla’s presence in the room.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Lisa’s voice comes out strained, quiet, her vocal cords exhausted from holding in sobs in the ambulance. She tried so hard to keep it together, to stay calm for Betsy so she wouldn’t panic.
“What’s going on?” Carla asks gently, rubbing circles on the back of Lisa’s hand with her thumb.
“They’ve taken her into surgery to remove the bullet. She was losing a lot of blood and-“ Lisa’s voice cracks, a sob escaping from her. Carla wraps her arms around her, feeling her own tears leak from her eyes too. She’s never seen Lisa so broken before, so overcome with fear. The calm, assured, in control Detective Sergeant facade has truly gone. This is a mother living her worst nightmare.
“She’ll be ok. She’s in the best place,” Carla assures her, pulling Lisa tighter into her.
“This is my fault,” Lisa chokes out.
“No, it’s not. It’s Rob’s fault, he was the one who-“
“It was me. I pulled the trigger.”
Carla stays silent for a beat. She’d assumed - wrongly - that Rob was the one who fired the shot. She swears she can physically feel her heart break at her partner’s admission. This will destroy Lisa.
“It was an accident. You didn’t mean to, you weren’t to know she was out there.”
“I should’ve been more careful. It was reckless. Now my baby girl is lying on an operating table. I could lose her, all because I thought I could handle it.” Carla feels Lisa’s head shake against her shoulder.
“Lisa-“
“I can’t lose her, Carla.”
“You won’t,” Carla says firmly. She pulls back, looking into Lisa's eyes. “Listen to me, Betsy is going to be ok.”
Carla looks around, noting a box of tissues on the table. She grabs one, gently wiping at the tears on Lisa’s face. She hands another to Lisa, giving her a moment to compose herself while rubbing slow circles on her back. Lisa sits back, leaning her head on Carla’s shoulder. Carla presses a soft kiss to her head, momentarily reminded of all the times Lisa had comforted her over the past few months. Now it was time to return the favour, to be the rock she desperately needed.
“I’m a bad mother,” Lisa says after a few minutes, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room. “They asked me what her blood type was, and I didn’t know. What sort of mother wouldn’t know something like that?”
“More than you’d think. You’re not a doctor, Lisa. They’ll have it down on her records somewhere anyway.”
“Becky would’ve known,” she responds, standing up and pacing as she talks. “God, if she could see us now. She’d be so angry at me.”
“No, she wouldn’t. I didn’t know her, Lisa, but from everything you’ve told me, everything that Betsy’s told me about her, I think she’d tell you to stop being so hard on yourself.” Carla gets up, striding across to Lisa. She holds her face firmly in her hands, forcing the detective’s gaze up to meet hers. “Look at me. You are not a bad mother. And Betsy is going to be ok.”
“What if she’s not?”
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Together.”
Carla plants a kiss on Lisa’s forehead, and pulls her in for another hug. They stay like that for what feels like hours, Lisa clinging onto Carla like her life depends on it, Carla softly stroking her partner’s hair and whispering reassurances.
They’re interrupted by the door swinging open and a doctor coming in.
“Betsy Swain’s family?” he says.
“Yes. Is she going to be ok?” Lisa scans his face for answers, needing them quicker than he can possibly get the words out. She squeezes Carla’s hand tightly, almost painfully, in anticipation.
“The surgery was a success.” Carla feels Lisa’s body sag with relief next her, the breath she was holding released in a slow, shaky exhale. “We managed to get the bullet out in one piece and we’ve given her a blood transfusion. She’s in recovery now, if you’d like to follow me.”