Unfinished Goodbyes

"Stacey, kanina pa kita tinatawag. Are you okay?"

She was surprised when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She flinched, looking at Jhoanna. "Ma'am! I-I’m… What is it?" She looked at the people she was talking to. They were all looking at her.

"I was asking you if you’re okay. Kanina ka pa napapansin ng mga kausap ko na parang mangiiyak-ngiyak ka riyan. Is something bothering you?"

"Ma'am? W-wala, Ma'am. I just remembered something."

"Maybe it would be better if you went home, Stacey. We’re almost finished here and we’re going out. Unless you’d like to come with us."

"No," she said shyly. "I’ll just go home, Ma'am."

"I’ll see you at the office tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." She grabbed her bag and portfolio. After saying goodbye to her and her business associates, she headed to the parking lot of her Honda Civic. She was about to open the door when she heard someone call her name. She raised her head.

"Stacey?"

She was stunned. Different emotions filled her chest when she saw Aiah. She didn't know what to do as she studied her face closely.

How could she forget her expressive eyes? Her pointed nose? The deep dimples on both lips that were typical of Hispanics?

Her gaze dropped to her body. She was still good at carrying clothes. Her physique had become even more mature. She was about five feet six inches tall.

"Aiah?" she finally said.

A smile tugged at her lips. "This is a surprise. I thought you had a meeting today?"

That smile didn't help ease her anxiety. "I did. My boss sent me home because she and her colleagues were going out." She didn't know why she had to explain this.

"Your job description includes this?"

"Yes, I’m afraid so."

"And you’re free already?"

"Oo." She bit her lip in response.

"Can we have a nightcap? I also had a meeting with some business associates and we’ve just finished."

"We already have a date tomorrow, hindi ba?" She looked at her. "Besides, it’s late. I’m tired and I still have a long way to travel."

"Isa lang, Stacey. For the road."

"No, Aiah." She got into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut as usual. She rolled down the window before starting her car. "I’m sorry. Maaga pa ang pasok ko bukas."

"It’s so nice to see you again. You look very beautiful."

Stacey was very nervous. It was almost eight o’clock. Her mind had been on her dinner with Aiah all day. She couldn’t talk to her because the pain it had caused her was still fresh.

Since she was pregnant, she had cut off communication with her. She did not answer her calls. Her parents were understanding of her desire to avoid her, so when she said goodbye to going independent, they did not refuse.

She resigned from her previous job because she knew that Aiah would come to her. That's when she joined Robles Inc. as a replacement for Jhoanna's secretary who was on indefinite leave of absence.

She suddenly stood up when she heard the hum of a car stopping in front of her townhouse. She peeked out the window. She saw Aiah get out of the new model Mercedes.

She took her bag. After instructing the maid, she hurried out the door. So when the first sound of the doorbell rang, she immediately opened the gate.

"Good evening," Aiah greeted Stacey smoothly.

"Good evening," she greeted her in return. "Didn't you have trouble finding my house?"

"Hindi naman. It’s pretty." She glanced at the Honda Civic parked in the garage, the small garden, and even the window where her attic was.

"Thank you." Her heart swelled at her compliment.

"I’m entitled to a housing loan from the company."

"And you made a good choice," she nodded approvingly.

"Let’s go?" She didn’t try to invite her inside.

"Come on."

She stepped away from her and made sure she wouldn’t be able to help her. When she heard the car alarm go off, she opened the passenger side door herself. She just followed her.

"So, do you have a particular place in mind?" she asked as the car started moving.

"Anywhere will do."

"Is it okay if I decide for us?"

"Yes."

Silence reigned.

"Kumusta ka na?"

"Fine."

"You’ve changed." She glared at her. "And I think for the better. You’ve matured and are very confident in yourself."

"Thank you."

"It’s been five years. What have you been doing?"

"Working." She smiled forcefully. "Isn't that what it's supposed to be?”

"I've always thought of you. I imagined you were happy with your wife and children."

"So typical of you to expect me to do that." Her voice was cold. "I've been busy."

"Wala ka pang jowa?”

"That's personal." She was about to contradict her but remembered Jhoanna's instructions to her that she needed to talk to Mikha. "How's life?" she asked, curiously.

"Okay."

"You’re staying here in Manila?"

"No. Pabalik-balik ako rito at sa Cebu."

"Are you the one managing your school?"

"Yes. Nag-expand na rin kami sa Iloilo City at Mindanao. I’m also negotiating with some business partners if we can build schools in provinces where education is very difficult to achieve."

"That’s good."

"Thanks." She smiled, clearly excited by what they were talking about.

"Kumusta na si Janna?"

"Janna? Oh, she’s fine."

"Dito siya sa Maynila nag-i-stay?"

"No," Aiah replied. "May maliit siyang property sa Batangas. Beachfront, and she does most of her work there."

"And were you there when I called you?"

"Although I still have a condominium unit here in Quezon City, I stay with her in Batangas," she replied indirectly.

"And you’re very close."

"She’s been my best friend ever since, hindi ba?"

At kung hindi ako pumasok sa eksena, kayo sana ang nagkatuluyan! Hindi sana nasayang ang apat na taon mo sa akin! Her heart was filled with indignation as she thought.

"And your gallery is the only place where she displays her works." Her eyebrows were raised. "And if I don't agree to come with you now, my boss will not be able to see her."

"Do you really believe that, Stacey? You’re underestimating your boss and yourself!"

"You know the reason why I agreed to come with you now, hindi ba, Aiah?"

"Ah, hindi ba dahil pag-uusapan natin kung bakit mo ako iniwan noon?" Her voice was cold and accusing.

"Ako? Nang-iwan?" No matter how much she tried to suppress her anger, she couldn't. Her ears tingled at what she heard. "At sino ang nagloko, ha? Sino ba ang sumira sa usapan natin noon?"

"I’m trying to explain everything to you. Napaka-childish mo noon and you only thought about yourself. You know I have a responsibility to my family."

"Is that why you asked me out?" Her whole body went cold.

"Yes, and I want to know why. Sa tagal ng pinagsamahan natin noon, how can you just simply drop me like that? Ni hindi ka na tumawag… hindi na rin nakipag-usap. And worst, hindi ka na nagpakita!"

"Even your parents hid you from me. Why is it such a big sin for me to take care of our livelihood?" The anger and bitterness in her voice could not be denied.

"Please stop the car."

"What for? So you can run away again?"

"You have no right to accuse me of anything," her voice trembled in defense of herself. "Just stop this car of yours. I won't go with you wherever you're planning."

Her eyebrows met as she pulled the car over to the side of the road. "I thought you've changed. Aren't you going to at least explain to me why you suddenly left me behind?"

"Open this door, Aiah. Open it and I'll get out."

"Are you crazy? Walang mga sasakyan dito so I can't just drop you off."

"No! I will not answer your question. If this is your idea of fun, then I’m sorry I fell into your trap."

"Why did you leave me then, Stacey? Why did you suddenly disappear? I deserve to know. I deserve an explanation."

She had completely lost control of herself.

"Dahil niloko mo ako, Aiah. I went to Cebu to talk to you. But when I came out of the pension house where I was staying, I saw you and Janna.”

"Sinundan ko kayo hanggang sa Waterfront Cebu City Hotel. Ni hindi mo ako nagawang tawagan pagkatapos ng huli nating pag-uusap pero si Janna, nasusundo mo kung saan. Hindi ako tanga, Aiah. The way you smiled… the way you held her hands… the way you looked at her, it confirmed that you no longer love me."

"Naroon ka?" She was shocked to find out. "Hindi ko alam."

"And I had no intention of causing a scandal even though I couldn't believe that in the span of two months ay nagawa mo akong ipagpalit sa iba."

"No! Nando’n lang si Janna because she asked for my help."

She cut her off when she tried to touch her.

"Talaga? Kaya ba hindi mo man lang nasabi ‘yon sa mga pag-uusap natin bago ako nagpunta sa Cebu?"

"If you joined us, you would have understood."

Her brows furrowed. "Stacey, all this time, iyon lang ang dahilan kung bakit ka umalis?"

"Lang?" Her chest tightened at the apparent insult. "Niloko mo ako at ngayon sasabihin mong iyon lang?"

"Hindi kita niloko."

"Kung hindi mo ako niloko, bakit hindi mo nagawang sabihin sa akin na kasama mo si Janna at nagkikita kayo?"

"Stacey—" Her brows furrowed once again.

"T-the day I saw you with Janna, I knew I lost you. I knew everything was over for us." She lowered her head, trying to calm herself. "I came because I needed to tell you something. The IVF worked before you left for Cebu, Aiah," she said emotionlessly. She didn't even dare to look at her face for fear of what she might see there.

"Eight weeks old na siya ng magkausap tayo. I was two months late at the time, but I didn't think I was pregnant. I just thought it was an effect of my extreme sadness after mong pumunta sa Cebu. I didn't know that the symptoms my body was showing were due to my pregnancy."

Silence enveloped them.

"I was too shocked by what I’ve learned. I swore I would never forgive you for what you did to me. After two weeks, nakunan ako."

She raised her head and saw her pale face.

"Now, open the door dahil hindi ko kayang makasama ka rito pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin."

Aiah didn't move. She soon restarted the car's engine. "I'll take you home."

She just looked out the window as she maneuvered the car. Ten more minutes and they were in front of her townhouse again.