When I close my eyes, I see those eyes
It was just a fleeting glance, one quick look, and the flash of a smile, but that was all it took.
It was as if she had been struck by lightning, and before she could even begin to comprehend what happened, the woman was gone.
Trying her best to shake off the tingling sensation, Catherine pushed forward, weaving through the rushing crowd, and attempted to continue on with her day.
Something nagged at her, though, that she knew that woman. That she had seen her before, a long time ago.
My heart kept aching, so I wanted to forget
There was a strange pain in her chest, a deep twinge with something akin to longing. It had always been there, stinging away in the back, but the pain seemed to have increased tenfold since this morning.
Anne picked at her choker, tugging it slightly away from her neck in order to let the skin breathe as her mind replayed the interaction earlier today.
Catherine, or as Anne knew her (had known her, whatever ) Catalina, was alive.
Alive and so full of life, it seemed.
The look of shock that had crossed Catalina’s face was almost enough to make her stop, make her reach out and grab her hand as she’d done so long ago.
Almost.
But she kept walking, because how could she face her after everything she’d done?
Really, Anne mused as she paced slowly down the street, it was better for her to leave, let Catalina live her new life happily, without the added drama that she brought to the table.
With a harsh swallow, Anne looked back once more in the small hope that Catalina would still be there, but she was long gone.
If this is a dream, please let me wake up
She was in a stone room, warmly lit by candles, standing in front of the vanity. A heavy crown rested on her brow and she reached up, carefully removing it and setting it down on the wooden table. There was a rustle of skirts and the light, familiar laughter of someone by her ear. Slim fingers grasped her shoulders, and she was guided to turn around. Though the candles were bright, she could barely see the woman in front of her, just the rough outline of her figure and two gleaming eyes.
Catherine’s eyes opened to the broken moonlight streaming in through the curtain and she sighed, slowly sitting up.
It was the third night she had had that dream. The first two nights, it had just been the laughter and the feeling of a dress weighing heavily on her tired body. The eyes, however, were a new addition.
She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had experienced this before, these emotions. But never in her life had she ever been in a castle. (At least she assumed it was a castle if the crown was anything to go by.)
Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep, she slipped out of bed and padded to the kitchen.
A cup of tea would have to do.
Like destiny, falling, you're calling out to me, calling
“Catherine, where do you want me to put last week’s reports?” Alicia asked, holding the small stack of folders up. Catherine glanced around and pointed to the nearby table.
“Just put them over there and I’ll get to them when I’ve finished…” Her attention was caught by the flash of a pale coat on a familiar figure. Before she could think, she was out of her seat and running through the door, filled with the urge to catch her.
“Excuse me,” Catherine said, gently grasping the woman’s wrist. The woman turned around in shock and yanked her hand away, eyes wide with surprise.
But they weren’t the eyes she was looking for.
“Yes?” the woman replied, tone clipped with annoyance. Catherine ducked her head, cheeks hot with shame.
“My apologies,” she replied, “I thought you were someone else.”
The woman huffed and turned away, leaving her standing there, heart plummeting once more with disappointment.
I can't escape, please hold me
There were days when Anne didn’t want to get out of bed. Well, couldn’t get out would be more accurate.
Those were the days when the pain in her neck was too much to bear and it was through sheer force of will and literally lying on her hands that she didn’t scratch her neck open. Coupled with that, was the crushing guilt she felt as her memories replayed over and over in her mind, with no end in sight and all she could do was shed silent tears as she desperately envisioned warm arms encircling her, and warm reassurances whispered into her ear as she fell apart.
It was pathetic, she knew, but it was all she had.
I'm still watching over you, from far away. Why am I being like this?
She supposed it was because she was a coward that she kept her distance. At least in this life, she was.
It seemed that wherever she went, Catalina was there— stopping for coffee, reading a book, catching the bus.
She was everywhere.
Anne tried her best to stay out of the way, but couldn’t seem to tear herself away just yet. She needed to see Catalina happy, she needed to know that her staying away had paid off and that Catalina had found someone who was kind, respectful, who loved her better than Anne ever could.
The faint light was turned off, but my eyes are lighting up again because of you
She wasn’t surprised when it started raining, but she accepted it, happy to walk through the streets, enjoying the cold feeling on her face, as if all her worries, her regrets, her problems were being washed away.
She glanced to her right and froze, blinking the water from her eyes. Catalina was there, on the opposite side, glaring up at the sky as she walked.
Something inside her snapped and she leaned into the wind, cupping her hands around her mouth before she could think twice.
“Catalina!”
For a split second, she thought that the wind had carried her voice away but Catalina whirled around so quickly that she almost tripped and Anne began to run.
Feels like I've loved you from a long time ago
The dreams were getting more and more vivid. So vivid, in fact, that Catherine was half convinced that they had actually happened. Except they couldn’t have because she was never a queen.
The most recent dream was one that made her blush, even now, especially now, in the daylight.
It was full of passionate whispers and the feeling of lips, hands, fingers everywhere and nowhere at once. Dark eyes wickedly gleaming up at her as she cried out muffled praises in a sloppy mixture of Spanish and English. Fingers tangled in dark hair, tugging as she climbed higher and higher--
She woke up, drenched in sweat, breath coming in shaky pants, and a terrible ache between her thighs. She buried her head in her hands and waited for her breath to even out before moving to take a shower.
A nice, cold, shower.
Feels like I'm being pulled by something
Catherine should’ve known better than to trust the weatherman. He had said that there was no chance of rain today, despite the threatening clouds that were collecting on the horizon and, stupidly, she believed him.
So here she was, trudging along in the rain, having already given up on the thought that she would make it home at least semi-dry.
“Catalina!” someone called, their voice managing to carry over the wind. She whirled around in surprise, one hand slamming over her rapidly beating heart.
Catalina. She hadn’t heard that name in years, centuries, it felt like, but that was impossible.
“I’m sorry,” she replied loudly, watching as the woman practically flew across the street, “But my name is Catherine.” The woman shook her head, wet hair flying out everywhere and sticking to her face. She brushed it away with an impatient flick and smiled.
Oh her eyes, Catherine noted, another jolt going through her. Those were the eyes she had been looking for.
“No, your name is Catalina. Or at least, one of your names. Catherine works too, but you always preferred Catalina.”
Catherine opened her mouth to form a rebuttal, but nothing came.
“How do you know that?” she finally asked.
“Catti,” the woman said and Catherine wrinkled her nose at the nickname, prompting a chuckle to escape the woman’s mouth, “Catti, it’s me. It’s Anne.”
Somewhere in the back of her mind, a memory alighted and Catherine winced at the slight pain.
“...Anne?”
“You really don’t remember, do you?” she asked, voice small.
Catherine shrugged. “It’s been a strange week,” she replied, “I don’t know if my memories are telling me the truth.”
Anne was silent for a moment before a clap of thunder jolted her into action.
“Come on, Catti,” she said, holding out a hand, a hopeful smile on her face. Catherine hesitantly took it.
“Where are we going, cariña?” she asked, the term slipping off her tongue with frightening ease. Anne turned around in shock and Catherine blushed. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”
Anne rapidly shook her head. “It’s- it’s ok,” she replied, voice thick with emotion, “it’s more than ok, trust me.” She couldn’t be sure, because of the pouring rain, but there seemed to be tears in Anne’s eyes.
Catherine smiled, another memory becoming clearer in her mind.
“What’s on your mind, cariña?” she asked, leaning over the back of the chair. Anne looked up, a cheeky grin on her face.
“You, of course.”
Are you really my destiny?