Chapter 31
It can be difficult to remember that fact that the importance of emotions pale compared to importance of logic, so it is no surprise that sleep was difficult. To will away certain thoughts while doing something important is easy; it can become as natural as breathing. It would be false to claim the same during moments of ‘rest.’ I couldn’t help but remember the President’s face moments before I left and question how she feels. A useless path, but one I can’t seem to stop myself for wandering in the dead of night. It’s always been my weakness, the night. Logic seems to fall asleep before me, and I remain alone with my emotions.
I knew my sleep would restless, even still I set my alarm for earlier. To allow personal feelings to interfere with my schedule would be pathetic. I will not allow myself to pout or mourn for my own choice. The consequences of what I have done are mine and mine alone to face, and pouting is a childless way to face them. Besides running is always helpful. A small change was necessary though after all I no longer will be meeting with the President in the morning.
I must make it clear, and I am simply too much of a coward to face her directly. Or maybe it’s less cowardliness and more of a logical choice. I know of my own weakness, so the only choice would be to avoid it. Either way it’s why I set my alarm for early, and it’s why I’m walking in the empty halls of the school by myself.
I pause in front of the door. It’s such a looming threat in this moment. For a time, I would rush here, always in a hurry just to get another moment with the President. The change is noticeable too; the time taken to get from the entrance of the library to this door was a change of approximately 23 seconds. The two locations are around 78 meters apart. Originally it would be take me around 43 seconds to reach the student council room; however, today it look me 66 seconds. This means a change of pace by0.63 meters per second from 1.81 to 1.18, a clear sign of how much I dread this parting. To deny my dislike of making the logical decision in this very moment would be foolish when all the evidence says others. I don’t want to do this. I must do this. I suppose even with this knowledge I cannot help but drag my feet.
Enough time has been wasted. I open the door. The room feels colder without the President here. It’s nothing but a room when she’s gone. It’s nothing but a room when she’s here too. No that’s not true. When she is here, it is her room. I wonder would be it wrong to linger just a bit longer. Yes it would, but even more so it would be purposeless. I will find no comfort in this empty place. I’ve a goal. There is nothing else to worry about.
The weight feels heavy in my pocket suddenly. The taser has been useful to say the least. I could’ve have dealt with the situations without it, but it made it easier. It doesn’t matter this will be my sign. I will return this gift, and the President will know what it means.
I remember when she insisted on me having it. For protection. To deal with problem students. She said. Still to this day I question if it was done out of concern for me or entertainment reasons. I suppose it doesn’t matter to me either way. That’s a bit concerning.
I place it down on the table, and turn back to the door. Do not look back. Do not look back. Do not.
I don’t even hesitate as I walk through the door. It still hurts though.
————-
It’s a strange feeling waiting for a wolf to attack. I have little doubt that Terano will make her move against me, but there is a question of how and when. At the moment I appear vulnerable, but if I am not besides the President what is my worth? There is no logic behind going after me. Before the President and before Yumeko, I would never suspect that Terano would still be interested in using me, but I know better now.
There is rarely any logic behind people’s actions.
Still it could be useful to attempt to decipher Terano’s reasoning. A desire for more information seems to still be the only reason that makes any sense, even if I am no longer beside the President, I still know more than most. Perhaps there is another reason that is simply beyond my own understanding of Terano. There is still Yumi to consider as well. How will I use her?
There’s the sound of footsteps in the garden. I look over, and see Yumi. So Terano is making her move immediately. It makes sense I will only be useful for so long.
“Hey Sayaka. Wanna come eat lunch with me and Terano?” Her smile is wide. Eat lunch huh? This must be the work of Terano, but perhaps she gave Yumi some liberty on what to say.
“Yes.” This is the only logical choice. Yumi reaches over and grabs my hand.
“Alright let’s go.” She starts pulling me forward. I follow after her for a few steps before pulling my hand back and walking behind her. She seems to have no sense of personal space; in a way it’s like the President, but not really. The action might be the same, but the motivation is very different. The President aims to make you uncomfortable, nervous, while Yumi appears to simply be oblivious. Or perhaps that is still a mask. I doubt it.
She walks a decent speed, and there is a little hop in her street. She’s eager. Now why could that it be? Has Terano been keeping her in the dark? Or does she simply believe that this meeting will be entertaining? Yumi confuses me. What motivates her? Does she have
any driving force besides her sister? I suppose one who say the same about me with the President and it would be true for the most part, but there is reason to my actions. I cannot say the same for Yumi’s.
I wish for this to be over. I want the Bami clan to leave this school, and for me to go back to being with the President—no that won’t happen. The best I can hope for is for the Bami’s to leave and for me to be able to go back to being alone again.
—————
She’s sitting in her wheelchair across the room. Her face is blank, impossible to read. Yumi is still smiling.
“Terano I brought Sayaka.” Interesting. No ‘like you asked.’ Could this perhaps be a surprise for Terano too? Would Yumi be the type to go behind someone’s back? It seems unlikely, but this is her sister. I’m certain she’d do worse for her.
“Hello Sayaka. How have you been?” A formal greeting as expected.
“I have been well.” A lie, but the question was a formality so the truth is not what she is after. “And yourself.”
“I have been good as well.” Her face still gives away nothing. Yumi’s smile seems to have fad a little. I wonder why?
“That is well.” Should I perhaps question why I was brought here? It feels too bold, but simply waiting feels awkwa—
“You guys are too stiff. Aren’t we all friends?” Yumi bursts in. She laughs. To so carelessly call your enemy a friend...She truly must be a foolish girl. Terano seems to still have no reaction. I wonder how long has she trained her face to stay so empty?
“You’re right Yumi. Let’s eat Sayaka.” I do not particularly want to eat here. It feels wrong to eat amongst a dangerous enemy, and a foolish ‘friend.’ I belong alone now, even still I start to unpack my lunch. “I heard rumors that you are no longer working with the President. Are they true?”
“Yes.” She hums.
“Are you okay?” It’s Yumi. Her voice is soft, and her face caring. It makes my heart clench for a moment. No, I suppose I’m not.
“Yes these things happen.” A simple exchange of employment nothing more. That’s all that was. Or at least that is what I want them to think.
“May I ask why?” A bold move on Terano’s part. The truth is obliviously impossible in this case.
“Simply a difference in opinions.”
“It’s unfortunate isn’t it? You lost your protection.” It would be easy to perceive such a statement as a threat, but I’m not sure it is. More likely it is just an attempt to shed some light on my situation. There is no logic in threatening me.
“I should be able to keep my position as human safe easily even without the position of secretary.” It would be too suspicious to give in so easily.
“Risky though wouldn’t you say? I can help you, you know?” Terano is a surprising direct person. I appreciate that, even if I still dislike her.
“What would you want in exchange for this?”
“Well you do have 35 chips, and I am sure you have useful information.” Direct. She really is not interested in games.
“A gamble?” It’s unlikely that a gamble is what is referring too, but it forces her to give up more information, and information is always an advantage.
“No I am aware of your dislike of such things, and I would never wish to force someone to do something that makes them uncomfortable.” It would be easier to dismiss such a statement as an attempt at manipulation if it weren’t for the hatred in her eyes. It’s unusual. “I am simply proposing a trade.” A trade with a stranger. A fools errand.
“I do not particularly trust you though, and I’m not sure the risk of such a deal is worth the reward.” I’ll her time to stew in her desperation for a bit. To realize that I am not the one cornered here. “I believe I will taking my leave. I just remembered a test I should study for.”
“Hmm. I will consider what you have said today. Perhaps I will discuss it with you tomorrow. Have a nice time.” Tomorrow. Wednesday means it would be 3 days till the end. I should have taken action earlier. My cowardliness has left the President vulnerable.
“Of course goodbye.” I bow before turning and leaving. A gesture of respect, and one that is rooted in some truth. The adversary between the President and Terano becomes clearer to me with each meeting. Can it truly be called adversary when it is so one sided? Or does the President dislike Terano as well? Impossible to tell without observing her more. Behind me there is the sound of a door opening; I turn my head to look. Yumi.
“Hey Sayaka can we talk?” This is something I did not predict.
“Yes.” Something important? Or is she just trying to be nice?
“I would like to gamble for your chips.” What? “Your gambles and your help for Terano, and in exchange I’ll do anything.” I wonder is Terano aware of this plan? Her eyes are just filled we’re determination. No sign of deceit. To take advantage of such a love feels wrong, but if the girl wishes to lay herself in the jaws of lion, who am I to stop her. Couldn’t the same be said for the President? It does not matter though. There is no logic in simply avoiding such an opportunity.
“And why would I want such a deal?” It would not make logical sense for her to make such a deal unless she knows my plan.
“Because if you lose, nothing really bad will happen. I’ll make sure that you won’t have to gamble whenTerano wins the election.” When? Interesting choice of words.
“And what will you get from this?” She’s risking far too much for far too little. There must be some other reason. Could Terano actually be aware of this?
“I really want her to win, and I just think you and Terano would really get along. Besides it could be fun right.” Her smile is wide, and her eyes are sparking in hope. I feel sick, but it doesn’t matter.
“Tomorrow at lunch.”