Chapter 14
She has yet to speak to with me with anything more than a few passing words. Ririka’s always been a shy girl, but this out of character and I’m starting to believe my earlier assumptions might have been wrong. I mean if it was anger with me, why would should eat lunch with my and Sayaka? No it must be something else. Perhaps a fight with Mary. That would be quite amusing; I wonder if it this will she come to vent to me. I doubt it; when has Ririka ever spoken her feelings to me? Never...even in her darkest times I would simply hold her while she cried. It’s not like she used to purposely hide her feelings she simply never spoke of them in words, but now it is different. She’s changing, hiding things. Is this change also the result of Mary? How pathetic you know so little about your own sister that wish to plant on the blame on a random? All the credit as well.
It would be easier for me to believe this particular change is a result of the intervention of Mary if it weren’t for Sayaka. She too has begun hiding things. Her blushing face has become rarer, and the serious face that lingers on her face doesn’t please me. She looks as though there is too much weight on her shoulders and no there to relieve her. Tired but determined. What is causing you such pain? It’s me. Of course it’s you. I have brought them to dangerous waters. I made them bleed and now all eyes are upon us. The fish are all starving, and they have smelt the blood, but yet they remain hesitant. Their hesitance is my chance I should allow my favorite fish to escape to surface to become people once again. I should be devoured alone. My body will be torn apart piece by piece, and the water will fill with my blood for the first time. How poetic it will be...when our blood mingles together in this aquarium I have built. Yet I haven’t. I have kept them trapped here, and for what? My own enjoyment? What a sick girl. Even now when staring down at my sins, I cannot bring myself to do it. Not until the threat is here; not until I feel their breathe against my face, and their around my teeth around my neck. Just a few more moments. I wish to tease Sayaka just a bit more, and see Ririka finally burn her passiveness to the ground. Just a few more of Sayaka’s blushes, and a few more moments with Ririka. Is it too much to ask for? Don’t lie. You made this aquarium didn’t you. You starved the fish. You want them to bleed out alongside you. You’d find endless enjoyment in hearing their cries for help, in watching them suffer. What an untrue thought. Their suffering would not be entertaining. I wonder can I still call myself a gambler? I claim to want to throw everything to the wind to risk my everything, yet the thought of losing them sickens me. What a pathetic girl I have become. When did the risk stop being enough? Why was it ever enough? When the time comes, I will set them free, but not yet. I’m a narcissist after all, and I want just a few more moments.
There is a knocking on my door. Most likely a maid informing me that dinner is almost ready.
“Yes.” The door creaks down, and Ririka stands in the door way. Her mask is off and her eyes are soft. She walks towards my bed and sits down next to me, she rests her head on my shoulder. It’s been quite some time since Ririka has entered my room like this. When we were younger, it happened frequently. She would’ve slide into my bed and cry into my shoulders. I miss it, not her tears just her.
“Are you worried about Sayaka?” An interesting question. Why is it that she would come into her to talk about Sayaka? I thought she had come in here to talk about herself. What is she thinking?
“Because of what Runa said?” Her eyes are closed.
“Yes.” They open and scan my face. I simply smile.
“Sayaka often becomes tense. It’s not a major concern at this point.” She hums will playing with my shirt; her eyes seem darker. “How is everything with Mary.?” She smiles softly again. My my...sister you truly have taken a great interest in this girl for just her name to wipe your irritation away so quickly.
“Our partnership is going quite well. She’s quite a nice girl once you look past her gruffness. I know why she choose not to join the council.” As I do Ririka. It’s quite obvious, but I’m glad I didn’t see the truth at first otherwise this connection you have made wouldn’t have formed.
”Oh I know all about the girl’s pride now.”
“Then if you discovered what you desired do you want me to stop?” No. No I really don’t.
“Do what you want my sister.” She’s looking at my eyes.
“I think I’ll continue to work with her.” I smirk to cover my smile. I truly needed good news. She closes her eyes as her cheeks blush, and she turns her head slightly. We lie here until a maid informs us that dinner is ready.
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When we arrive at the gates, Sayaka is waiting once again. Her back seems especially straight as though she is trying to make herself appear larger in front of a predator. Am I the predator? The driver opens the door and Sayaka immediately bows as I step out.
“President I will be unable to attend today’s lunch with you.” She remains bowed. How interesting. Maybe what Runa said on Monday is true perhaps Sayaka has truly lost interest in my. Unlikely. Well I suppose I’ll just have to make up for the missed time.
“Sa~y~ak you are truly the cruelest girl in the world. Leaving me all alone. How will I survive without you? It will be so dull.” Her ears are blushing, but her face remains hidden. As the redness in her ears dies down, she beings to straighten up. Her face is tight, but determined. Such a strong look. How lovely.
“President this is important business, and I know you have the strength to remain without me.” Such sass...how wonderful. Oh Sayaka you never informed me that you could be so bold. This truly a wonderful moment. Wait she’s walking away. To distract me in such a manner Sayaka. Truly such a clever girl. How can she be so wonderful. I wonder though where did such boldness come from. Nothing good certainly. Why show me such a wonderful side of yourself in such a way? They are far better ways to demonstrate your boldness. How wonderful would be it. I’m smirking now; I should be worried, upset, but these thoughts. I truly have become a filthy fish.
“You can eat with me and Mary.” Ririka starts walking as well. What an intriguing offer, but I’m not particularly interested.
“Oh I’m quite certain Mary will not be okay with that.”
“She will. We’ll eat outside.” There’s no room for a no. Such confidence. There’s a pang in my heart. Soon Kirari. Don’t let yourself forgot what you have done. I start walking to catch up with Sayaka and Ririka.