Chapter 12
I can count the number of times Kirari has been upset on my two hands, and almost all of these times were from when she was younger. It’s a truly rare occurrence, and yet I can still recognize it in an instant. When he first arrives, she seems pleased, but when I went back down the stairs, I knew the second I saw her face that she was upset. I can’t help but wonder was it something he said or something else? Kirari is certainly not the type to get upset over words especially not words from those she believes to be beneath her, basically almost everyone, yet all clues point to it being because of something he said. Unless it was something boiling within in her for awhile, and his words acted as a catalyst. She has been acting a bit unusual lately, and when she first announced the election, I was sure it was an act of rebellion. Just like something a normal teenager would do expect Kirari is not a normal teenager, so it’s not wonder she went so big. Getting drunk and starting fights wouldn’t be enough for her no she needs to start a war to get attention. If this election was simply a way for attention, whose attention is she after? No. No that’s not right. It’s about entertainment. She fears boredom above all else because she thinks herself a god. I mean nothing could really harm me if am enjoying myself. It’s a naïve and utterly infuriating thought process much like Kirari herself. Sometimes I wonder would it better for her to never realize that this is not true...after all I’m her sister and I don’t want her to hurt, even if it would make her slightly less obnoxious. But the truth is, it is inevitable. The only question is is it better for it to happen later or earlier?
Either way something is bothering her now, and I do not know what it is. I could push. I shouldn’t have to push, but I should push. But I can’t. I can almost see Mary’s scowl, and her look of disappointment. I’ve hidden so long in Kirari’s shadow that I can’t bring myself to leave, and even if I could, what good would it be? How could I help Kirari? I’m too weak. I must be the most pathetic excuse for an older sister there is. I’ve used Kirari’s protection for so long, yet I am incapable of doing the same for her. Even if I wasn’t so weak, she would turn me away that I’m certain of, but it’s not about me is it. It’s about Kirari. I have to help her. But in order for that happen she’ll have to fall first and it will hurt. I don’t want that...I must stop it. You can’t. It’s not my insecurities; it’s a fact. I have waited too long. My failure as an older sister has allowed for Kirari to become this way, but it’s fine. I’ll be there. I will. I will. I will. When the time comes, I will not remain passive. I cannot. I must finally protect her. My weakness will not stand in way.
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I’m still annoyed with myself and with Kirari in the morning. I cannot help, but blame both of us for the situation we’re in. It’s Kirari’s fault because of her terrible personality, and it’s my fault for not taking action earlier. I keep my mask on in the car, and I can feel Kirari attempting to read me. She’s never realized that she’s quite poor at it...like she could ever realize something like that. Why must it be her I have to protect? I slightly turn my head to look her. She’s no longer observing me...she getting distracted again...upset even. I want to hug her, but I don’t. Is it me being objective, knowing this isn’t the right time, or is it me holding onto my cowardliness for just a bit longer?
The car stops, and still Kirari’s eyes remain far away; this is quite disturbing. I inform her we have arrived. Sayaka is waiting for us. Her presence will most likely improve Kirari’s mood even if Kirari doesn’t even notice the connection yet, but it will certainly only sour mine. I grow tired of spending days on top of days of listening to my sister flirt all while being oblivious to her own feelings. I tell Kirari that I have business to attend, and she tells me to have fun. It’s in her voice that tone. Even in her weakened state, she is still smug. God she is so annoying.
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Mary seems to be trying to remove a clingy Yumeko from her arm when I approach them. Ryota is standing alongside looking awfully flustered and begging Yumeko to let go. When Yumeko sees me, she releases Mary’s arm and runs towards me.
“Oh Vice-president it’s so nice seeing you in the morning.” She’s smiling wide. I feel embarrassed remembering my jealousy yesterday. Yumeko has no sense of personal boundaries for anyone, so it shouldn’t have been shocking to see her continuously grabbing Mary’s hand. It can’t be helped I suppose I’ve grown a bit to attached to Mary, and a little jealousy is the price to pay.
“Thank you Yumeko. Mary I wanted to inform that I will not be attending lunch with you guys today.” She starts scowling immediately. I love all her faces. Stop it.
“Is this cause of your sister?” She’s angry. Oh she’s too protective like Kirari... she wouldn’t like that comparison. Well she’s not wrong this time, but she doesn’t know the whole picture. It’s not because Kirari wants me to it’s because I need more information, so I can better understand why Kirari is upset. Observing Kirari in her natural habit will be the best way to do this.
“Mary, she’s not nearly as bad as you think.” Her face fills with doubt, but she remains silent. She just nods her head.
“Okay well have a good day.” I bow. I feel myself flush. Now I’m acting like Igarashi.
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Kirari seems shocked when I walk into the Student Council Room, but she doesn’t say anything and neither do I. I hate this growing divide if only Kirari was less closed off and I was braver.
When Igarashi opens the door, Kirari sits up a little straighter. How can Kirari not know? She bows before noticing me.
“Oh Vice-president what a lovely surprise. Will you be joining us for lunch?” She doesn’t seem to be annoyed by my presence, but it’s not her feelings I’m looking out for it’s Kirari’s.
“Yes I will.” Her face doesn’t change.
After sitting in the room I have only confirmed what I already knew, Kirari is indeed in love with Igarashi; I mean she spent have this lunch period staring longing at her. I still do not know why Kirari is upset, but it must be something with Igarashi. What that might be is unknown though. Perhaps I should just wait for Kirari to reveal it to me. It will be too late by then; I want to be a least a little prepared. I have never had to comfort someone else.
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The student council meeting are always boring, and I have taught myself to sleep sitting up straight in them. No one is aware of this not even Kirari unless she just has never said anything about it. I stay awake for this meeting though; since, it’s just us playing catch up. When Igarashi starts yelling at Runa, I watch Kirari. She seems amused, but when Runa mentions that Igarashi seems tense her face turns pensive. Concern for Igarashi is that it, but why would a conversation with father set this off? I must be missing something...a connecting piece.