Chapter 8
The door slams shut behind Ririka as she leaves the student council room. What a disappointing turn of events. I was indeed planning on asking Sayaka about her family, and it should’ve been rather easy to ask her. Yet I couldn’t. It is quite a new development for me to want something, and not go after it. It’s completely unlike me...why am I even living if I’m not doing what I want. I became the President because I wanted to, I made Sayaka my secretary because I wanted to, I started this election because I wanted to, but something has changed. Desire has been outweighed by my nerves. It’s embarrassing how can I pretend to be above them when I’m so clearly not. How have I allowed myself to swim among my fish? I’m supposed to be above them, observing them.
This weakness, it disgusts me what and how I reacted in the face of this fear disgusts me even more. I believed that placing Sayaka in a vulnerable position would allow me to ask her about her family. I mean how can you fear a girl quivering beneath you. Disgusting. While Sayaka’s blushing face and quivering body were adorable to say the least, to use her in that way felt wrong. Feels wrong. When did it become like this? When did I stop wanting Sayaka to worship my every step. Or is the better question why. To have someone completely devoted to you why it is wonderful. Or rather this is what I believed, and yet here I stand feeling dirty. Truly I’m swimming in the filth alongside everyone else and I’m not sure which way is up.
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This gamble is dull. He is incapable of schooling his faces, and there is no risk. There is no rush. I wonder would it be less painful to have simply gone to class. Gambling is normally a wonderful time, even when my opponents are weak, but something about today makes it’s that not even in the fear in this boy’s eyes do anything for me. I’m the predator; he never stood a chance, but this hunt has brought me no joy. Not when the fear in his eyes reminds me of the face of Sayaka just this morning. Sayaka is not my prey. Then why did a part of me enjoy that face? She is not my prey; she is not mine to control.
I place the last card down, and it’s my win. Another 5 votes. “What a poor player you are.” I smirk at his face, but still his fear brings me no joy. How disappointing.
What shall I do? Another gamble? No it’ll just be dull. Class? Obviously not. The only choice is to go in the Student Council Room and find a way to entertain myself while I wait for Sayaka. If she comes...why wouldn’t she?
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Sayaka comes on time her face seems to be neutral, so she has recovered from my earlier mistake. Good I’m certain she would be pissed at me if my actions began to miss with her studies.
She bows down, and says, “I’ll make you tea President.” Everyday Sayaka joins me at lunch she makes me tea. I never ask she just does. Her tea making is flawless just as everything else she does, but even still I don’t want her to make my tea today.
“That’s quite alright Sayaka. I’ll make it myself.” Her face scrunches up in confusion. Her mind must be racing a mile a minute trying to figure out the reason for this change. Don’t worry I should tell her. I should apologize for earlier too. I don’t...what a coward.
“President I cannot allow that. It is my responsibility.” How dutiful. Sayaka is truly amazing.
“Oh do you doubt my ability to make tea?” A smirk spreads across my face as her face begins flushing.
“N-no President. Of course n-not.” She’s stumbling over her words again. It was cruel to tease her like this, but I cannot resist. She’s simply too adorable. Will I ever grow tired of the faces this girl makes? I doubt it they’re are just wonderful, and she is just too interesting. Should I hug her tell her not to worry? She’ll just think it’s another game and become more upset. Well isn’t. Or maybe it is. Yes, I suppose it must be just a game. I mean what else could it be. And if it is just a game, what is there to be afraid of.
As I start making my tea, and Sayaka begins to work on her paperwork, I ask it. “Sayaka, what is your family like?” The sound of her pen against the paper pauses, but I keep my eyes on the tea. My heart is beating a bit faster now, but it’s only natural...these things happen in games.
“My family has a long military history. I live with my mother and father. My mother is a nurse, and my father is an officer in the military. My brother is also in the military. He visited yesterday that’s why I was unable to attend yesterday’s meeting.” She doesn’t sound upset perhaps I was worried for nothing, but this is quite interesting. A military family. I wonder. Sayaka in the military what an interesting idea. I wonder how she would look in uniform.
“Do you plan to also go into the military?”
“Yes after college.” My tea is finished now and when I turn back to Sayaka, she’s smiling. Cute. I should’ve asked her earlier. Her smile is my favorite face of hers. I sit down at my chair and continue to watch her. She’s gone back to work now. Can she not relax for a single moment? Work. Work. I think she might just live for it. I’m not sure what to say, so I just sit here watching Sayaka work. It is a fascinating sight, yet one that never seems to fail in entertaining me.
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It’s a rather nice day, but standing out here in sunlight doesn’t seem to help my sour mood. After spending some time thinking about my discovery, I not certain it is interesting as I previously thought, in fact I don’t think I like it all.
“Are you still upset about earlier?” Ririka’s voice is too close. What a sneaky girl.
“About what.” I smile at her. She seems displeased with the response; Ririka’s patience with me has been running thin. Is it the presence of a certain blonde bringing out this behavior or is it me? Either way it is an intriguing development. Ririka showing an emotion or desire is a rare occurrence one I wish wasn’t so rare.
“Quit it Kirari.” How amusing.
“I asked her at lunch. Did you know Sayaka plans to join military? I just discovered that today.” The limo pulls up and the driver jumps out to open the door for us. Ririka enters first, and I follow after. Once the door is shut behind her, she removes her mask. Good. Her eyebrows are drawn together in thought.
“I heard something new today as well.” Her voice is soft, hesitant. Well this could be fun.
“And what was it my dearest sister?” I’m smirking now. Before Mary she might have backed down, instead now she looks me in eye. Oh that was truly my greatest
plan. If I being honest this was not the result I was looking for, when I told Ririka to work with Mary, but this is even better. Truly a dream come true.
“Yumeko spoke about what happened at the tower.” Oh , she’s pissed I mean there is a reason why I didn’t tell her exactly what went down there, and privacy was only part of it.
“Oh I see.” I laugh, and even I hear the nervous undertones.
“She could’ve have died.”
“There was a mat.”
“Those can fail if you fall the wrong way.”
“I jumped down with her to make sure that didn’t happen.”
“You could’ve have died too.”
“Unlikely.” She’s getting angry now; she rarely fights with me for so long. She’s never thought that fighting was worth the effort. Passiveness has always been her game, and no one has mastered it quite like her.
“You risked your life for a game. For a toy.” She’s speaking of Sayaka obviously, but it doesn’t make any sense, Ririka doesn’t look at Sayaka that way. But you do don’t you. No not quite. Sayaka will never be just a toy. Pretend all you want, but your actions paint the clearest picture. I mean just earlier you thought of your conversation as a game.
My head hurts.
“There was no risk.” The fire seems to leave her eyes at this answer leaving only disappointment. She keeps looking at me like that. Disappointment with just the smallest hint of pity. I still don’t get it.
“Okay Kirari,” She sighs. When did she become such a stranger?