(i.)
2000
“Emily Ann, if you don’t stop being impatient, I’m not taking you to the park.”
It’s the third time her mother has warned her, but she can’t help it. She wants to go play on the playground and her mom is taking forever helping her and Emma get ready to go. Plus, her mom had promised that Lindsey would be there and Emily missed her best friend.
“But, mom,” she whines, trying to keep still, “I wanna see Lindsey.”
“The longer you stand here complaining and distracting me, the longer you’ll have to wait to see her,” her mother informs her without looking up.
That gets Emily to stand stock still for about ten seconds before her foot starts tapping lightly. She really was trying her best but her mom was taking so long; it was starting to feel like she would never see Lindsey again.
“Alright,” her mom’s voice grabs her attention and she stills once more. “Let’s go.”
Emily doesn’t wait any longer, bolting for the front door and yanking it open. Emma follows right behind her, racing her twin across the lawn. The rules their parents gave them for going to the park are ingrained in them by now, so they know to pause their running at the stop sign, giggling as they wait for their mom to catch up.
By the time they reach the park, Emily is already thinking about asking her mom if Lindsey can spend the night. As soon as she spots her best friend, the smile on her face widens and she takes off running to her. She can faintly hear her mom’s voice telling her to be careful as she goes, but she makes no move to slow down until she has reached Lindsey who is sitting in the sandbox.
“Hi,” she greets brightly.
Lindsey looks up, a smile of her own crossing her face, and she waves. Emily drops next to her, grabbing the plastic shovel sitting next to Lindsey and immediately digging into the sand and moving it around.
The two of them sit there, drawing in the sand and seeing who can make the biggest mountains for a while until Emily’s mom calls to her to remind her they need to leave soon so they can get ready for family dinner.
“Wanna come over tonight?” she asks Lindsey who is still drawing in the sand.
When Lindsey nods, a bright smile plastered on her face, Emily stands and runs to her mom. She is currently having a conversation with Lindsey’s mom, so Emily knows she will have to wait to ask. If she’s going to get her mother’s permission to have Lindsey over, she can’t interrupt her while she is talking to someone.
“Well, you know what they say about marrying your best friend,” she hears her mom say as she reaches the two adults.
“A sleepover every night,” Lindsey’s mom responds with a slight laugh.
Emily did not know that they said that, but she likes the sound of it. Endless sleepovers with her best friend? Sign her up. But that doesn’t matter right now. Right now is about a sleepover tonight. When her mom looks at her and smiles, Emily takes it as her cue to speak.
“Can Lindsey come over, please?”
“Emily, you know the rules of family dinner night,” her mother reminds her, causing Emily to frown. “But, she can come over tomorrow if that’s okay with Mrs. Horan, okay?”
Emily turns to look at her best friend’s mom who nods, assuring them that it is okay, and Emily’s smile returns as she turns around and wanders back towards Lindsey. The words from her and Lindsey’s moms are in her head as she gets closer to her friend, prompting Emily to venture off course briefly.
She finds a rock, a pretty, smooth, round rock that she thinks Lindsey will like for her collection and runs back to her best friend.
“Lindsey, look what I got you,” she thrusts her hand forward, showing the younger girl the rock with a smile.
“For me? Really?”
Emily nods quickly, a smile still etched on her face.
“We’re gonna get married,” she says simply as Lindsey takes the rock from her.
“Okay.”
It feels like it’s only ten seconds later that their moms are calling for them, telling them it’s time to go home. Lindsey and Emily stand, grabbing each other and hugging tightly. Their moms watch with smiles on their faces as the two girls wander over to them hand-in-hand.
“Look, Mom,” Lindsey shows their parents the rock. “Sonny and I are gonna get married.”
Their moms share a look and small laugh as Lindsey’s mom grabs the hand Emily had been holding.
“Alright, dear, let’s go home.”
The two of them leave, Lindsey turning around to wave at Emily who enthusiastically returns the wave before looking at her own mom as Emma finally arrives.
“We’re gonna get married,” she informs them.
Emma looks confused, not knowing what was happening, but her mom nods with a smile as she grabs her daughters’ hands and begins the journey home. She knew Emily was too young to truly understand what she was implying, but she also knew her daughter was on to something.
“Yes, honey,” she responds as they continue walking, “I’m sure you will.”
When Emily falls asleep that night, it’s with thoughts of endless sleepovers with her best friend dancing in her head.
(ii.)
2005
Emily had never liked basketball. Or, rather, she had never liked playing basketball. She was too short and the basket was too high, making it impossible for her to shoot. If she had it her way, she would only play basketball when the gym teacher made them, but life didn’t work that way.
Lindsey loved basketball. Playing it, watching it, talking about it. This meant Emily had to play it, watch it, and hear about it way more than she had ever wanted. The way her eyes lit up when she was watching or talking about it made Emily smile, so she sat and listened.
And she retained nothing, meaning Lindsey would have to re-explain just about every rule at least five times. And Emily let her because it made Lindsey smile, and Lindsey smiling was one of Emily’s favorite things. And Lindsey seemed to always smile during warm-ups and after the games, specifically at Emily. The younger girl was always hyper-focused during the game, something Emily teased her about.
“How can you go from being all serious during the fourth quarter to being a bright, smiling ball of sunshine as soon as the buzzer sounds?” she’d ask with a laugh.
She didn’t know that Lindsey was smiling because she was there, at every single game she could be, despite not knowing anything about basketball.
Emily noticed Lindsey wasn’t smiling during warm-ups this time. She wasn’t sure why and didn’t think too much of it, too busy helping her dad get the concession stand set up and trying to sneak a ring pop without him seeing. As soon as they were prepped and Emily had secured a ring pop in the pocket of her hoodie, her dad told her she could watch the last of the warm-ups and tip-off before coming back to help.
She slipped into the gym, leaning against the wall as she watched Lindsey, and the rest of the team, finishing their warm-ups. She couldn’t stop the smile from crossing her face as she watched her best friend take shot after shot. The smile only grew when Lindsey grabbed the ball and turned, finally seeing her. Her face lit up and she gave a small wave to her best friend who happily returned it before Lindsey turned and headed to the team huddle, head ducked low as she tried to wipe the smile off her face and get into game mode.
They lost. It wasn’t common for them to lose, but it wasn’t unheard of either, meaning Emily knew what to expect. Lindsey would mope around for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow before practice, acting as if she had just lost the NCAA Tournament. Emily still didn’t understand the big deal about it, but what did she know?
She stood against the wall in the gym, waiting for her best friend to emerge, as the parents trickled out into the parking lot. The team left the locker room together, most of them laughing, already having forgotten about the result and yelling over each other about whether to go for pizza or burgers.
Lindsey was at the front of the group, not participating in the banter, and Emily frowned slightly. Pushing off the wall, Emily walks to meet her in the middle of the court and fishes the ring pop out of her hoodie. Lindsey stops walking, face neutral as she looks at her best friend, neither noticing the entire team stopped to observe them.
Emily takes the ring pop and holds it out towards Lindsey, completely straight-faced.
“We’re gonna get married,” she tells her best friend, her mind echoing her five-year-old voice back to her.
A look of recognition flickers across Lindsey’s face and she smiles, reaching out and taking the candy from Emily.
“Okay,” she responds, ignoring the feeling of her face turning slightly red.
Emily side-steps as Lindsey starts walking again, the two quickly falling into step with each other as the rest of the basketball team follows.
“So, like, we all agree they’re gonna date and get married, right?” one of the girls asks and the others nod.
When Lindsey gets home that night, she looks at the, now bare, plastic ring and smiles. She walks over to her nightstand and opens the small wooden box sitting in the corner. She takes the ring and places it inside, right next to the rock that has been sitting in there since she was five, Emily’s voice echoing in her ears as she closes the box and lays down in bed.
“We’re gonna get married.”
Lindsey falls asleep that night with images of her and Emily dancing around her head.
(iii.)
2012
Emily jumps when she closes her locker, not expecting Rose and Mal to be standing right there. Raising an eyebrow at her friends, she adjusts her textbooks and leans against her locker.
“Can I help you two?”
“When are you going to ask Lindsey to Prom?” Mal asks, getting straight to the point as she crosses her arms over her chest.
Emily’s eyes widen and her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, but before she can respond to her, Rose is speaking.
“When are you gonna get married?”
She bites back a comment about the two of them acting like an old married couple, knowing Rose will find a way to turn it back on her and Lindsey. Something moves in Emily’s periphery, prompting her to look over her friends’ shoulders and smile as she sees Lindsey making her way to the trio. The two of them had gone to the carnival last night, just them, and Emily had spent the entire evening trying to think about the fact that it felt like a date. Lindsey had won her a giant stuffed teddy bear and Emily had found an extremely tacky and cheap ring from a gumball machine. The ring was in her pocket right now and she liked to have fun, so she handed her books off to her friends and grabbed Lindsey’s hand as soon as she reached them.
“Lindsey Michelle, I love you more than I loved playing in sandboxes when we were kids, and way more than I will ever love basketball,” she begins, Lindsey watching with an extremely confused look on her face while Mal laughs and Rose rolls her eyes. “I even love you more than Waffle House. Will you marry me?”
Emily pulls the ring out of her pocket with a cheeky smile, and Lindsey rolls her eyes as she tugs Emily to her feet. But, Lindsey can’t hide the smile, or blush, on her face as she grabs the plastic ring that is three sizes too small and looks like a toddler designed it.
“Okay,” she says as she pockets the ring, prompting Emily to smile even wider.
“Jesus, just date already,” Rose mumbles, handing Emily her books back before grabbing Mal and pulling her down the hallway.
Emily watches them go, a thoughtful look on her face as they leave. She then turns to Lindsey and points in the direction their friends had wandered.
“Do you think there’s something going on there?”
“Between Rose and Mal?”
Emily nods and Lindsey looks towards their friends who are just disappearing from eyesight before shrugging.
“I dunno. Maybe see if Rose will ask her to Prom.”
The two girls begin slowly wandering towards their classrooms and Emily nudges Lindsey slightly.
“A little birdie told me you got asked to Prom by Shane,” she says, trying to keep her voice light.
She ignores the twinge in her heart when she mentions it. She ignores the jealousy blooming in her chest at the thought of Lindsey going to Prom with someone other than her. She can’t ignore the nagging voice in her head reminding her that she could have asked if she wasn’t so afraid of being rejected.
Lindsey adjusts her books before responding.
“I said no.”
Emily’s steps falter briefly, along with her heart, and she glances at her best friend.
“You did? Why?”
Lindsey shrugs.
“I don’t want to go with him.”
“He’s the captain of the boys’ basketball team,” Emily tells her as if Lindsey didn’t know that already.
And, in Emily’s opinion (and based on what she had heard), Shane was the exact type of guy a girl like Lindsey would date. Super athletic, tall, loved basketball more than anything, straight-A student, did volunteer work. She’s so wrapped up in trying to process the fact that Lindsey told a guy like that no , that she nearly misses Lindsey’s next sentence.
“He’s not you.”
They stop outside the classroom door and Emily looks at Lindsey, unsure she heard her right.
“He’s not me?”
Lindsey nods with a shy smile, and Emily breaks eye contact as her face starts to feel warm, studying her sneakers.
“Nobody I’d rather go to Prom with than my best friend,” Lindsey says softly and Emily’s eyes snap back to hers.
Emily goes to respond but gets interrupted before she can speak.
“Hey, can you two flirt on your own time? It’s time for class,” Rose tells them, head poking out the door.
Lindsey and Emily both blush, taking a step back from each other and entering the classroom, leaving the discussion for another time. Emily spends class that morning thinking about going to Prom with Lindsey, and half-kicking herself for doing that proposal in the hallway and not actually asking Lindsey to Prom instead of asking her to marry her.
When Lindsey gets home after practice that evening, she grabs the ring from her stuff and immediately places it in the wooden box on her nightstand. She runs a finger over the other two objects sitting in the box, smiling as she remembers the instances in which Emily had “proposed” to her during their friendship.
Maybe one day the proposal would be real.
(iv.)
2014
When Emily had first told her parents she was getting an apartment with Lindsey, she had expected to hear the whole “you shouldn’t live with your best friend” speech and had been a little surprised when it hadn’t come. Her parents just nodded and asked if they had found a place yet before reminding Emily they had better be invited for a house-warming party.
The domesticity comes naturally to them. Emily cooks, Lindsey cleans, and Rose and Mal crash in their living room once a month. Emily still suspects there’s something going on between the two younger girls, but she knows better than to ask. Rose is a master at deflecting and would find a way to turn it back on Emily and Lindsey’s relationship (or lack thereof), and Mal...well, honestly, Emily’s not quite sure if Mal even knows where she and Rose stand, so Emily leaves it alone.
The younger pair was currently sprawled out on their couch, watching some movie, while Lindsey and Emily sat at the table. Lindsey was reading and enjoying her morning coffee while Emily was staring at her bank statements and trying to keep the numbers from swimming across her vision.
She hated looking at her finances, hated budgeting, hated being a broke college kid. She groans, setting the paper down and placing her head on the table as she tries to ward off the oncoming headache she can feel building. The other three let her do her thing, Rose and Mal talking quietly about something Emily can’t quite hear, and Lindsey still reading her book.
Pulling her head up from the table with another, quieter, groan, Emily grabs the papers again. She stares at them for a few moments, eyes trained on the exact same spot before she speaks without looking away from the paper.
“We should get married for tax benefits.”
She can see Lindsey nod out of the corner of her eye as she takes a sip of her coffee.
“Okay.”
Rose lets out a strangled noise, getting Emily and Lindsey to look over at their friend who is now underneath Mal, flailing.
“Uh, what are you two doing?” Emily asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer.
“Oh, nothing,” Mal dismisses.
Emily watches her friends, brows furrowing when Mal leans closer and whispers something to Rose that gets her to stop squirming. She doesn’t know if she’s ever seen the other girl still so quickly. Looking back at Lindsey, she nods in the direction of their friends.
“There’s definitely something there, right?”
Lindsey glances at their friends once more who are now a mess of limbs on their couch, the movie long forgotten, and nods.
“Oh, without a doubt.”
Emily stands and stretches, grabbing her papers and walking towards her room, calling over her shoulder as she goes.
“I’m gonna finish packing,” she informs them.
Lindsey watches her go, already sad at the idea of Emily leaving to go on vacation. It felt a little stupid, but Lindsey missed Emily when she was gone. Talking on the phone, texting, everything just wasn’t the same when Emily wasn’t actually there. She goes to her own room after putting her mug in the sink, immediately walking to the wooden box sitting on the bottom shelf of her nightstand. She grabs the box and opens it, smiling at the objects in there and wishing she had something to put in there this time.
She doesn’t hear Rose come in her room, doesn’t notice her until her friend is sitting beside her looking at the box in her hands.
“Uh, why are you staring at junk?”
Lindsey’s head clears and her brain kicks on, finally processing that Rose is sitting next to her.
“It’s not junk.”
Rose looks at her before looking back at the box.
“You’ve got a rock, that tacky gumball ring from high school, and...a ring pop ring? Lindsey, what-”
“They’re from Em,” Lindsey cuts her off as if those three words explain everything.
She feels Rose stand from the bed, not missing the words her friend is mumbling as she leaves.
“Just fucking kiss her already, damnit.”
“Why don’t you go kiss Mal?”
Lindsey doesn’t look up from the box, but she knows she made Rose blush when the younger girl doesn’t give a response. She hears the front door open and close, signaling that Rose and Mal had left and Lindsey closes the box, putting it back in its spot before wandering back out to the living room to wait for Emily.
When she emerges from her room wearing a sweatshirt she had definitely stolen from Lindsey in high school, Lindsey has to actively attempt to keep her heart rate under control. Emily was dressed in her standard travel gear: sweats and a ball cap, and she looked so soft and cute, and Lindsey couldn’t stop her mind from wandering to thoughts of seeing this sight for the rest of her life.
“Ready to take me to the airport, Linds?” Emily asks, snapping Lindsey out of her daydream.
“Wish I didn’t have to,” she says and Emily laughs.
“C’mon, I’m the best car DJ there is. You won’t be bored.”
If only Emily knew just why Lindsey didn’t want to part ways.
(v.)
2016
It was all wrong. Everything was wrong and there was no way for her to fix it. Emily’s boxes were packed and in the car, the apartment now half-empty and feeling entirely too big for just Lindsey to live in. It wasn’t right, or fair, but she couldn’t voice her thoughts because she saw how excited Emily was.
She just wished the job offer she had received hadn’t been across the country.
She was staring at the boxes in the living room, trying to keep her emotions in check, so she didn’t hear Emily enter the room.
“You know, it’s not too late,” Emily’s voice startles her and she turns to find her best friend leaning against the wall, studying her. “You could always come with me. You could easily find a job out there.”
Lindsey lets out a small laugh, rubbing at the back of her neck.
“Yeah, I don’t think my parents would quite understand me moving across the country for my best friend.”
She pauses, glancing at Emily.
“Maybe if we were married,” she jokes, ignoring the twist in her chest.
Emily nods, pushing off the wall and walking towards her.
“Okay, let’s get married then.”
The words tug at Lindsey’s heart and she smiles sadly at her best friend, wishing she had the courage to tell her how she feels. But, she can’t, especially not now with Emily getting ready to move across the country. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them, assuming Emily even felt the same way. The voice in the back of her head (it sounds unnervingly like Rose) is telling her that Emily does feel the same way, but she isn’t convinced.
“Ready to go?” she asks her best friend, half-wishing she had asked her to stay instead.
Emily nods and they leave, Emily turning to lock the door one final time before following Lindsey down the stairs to the car.
The drive is silent; Lindsey trying to keep from crying and Emily trying to decide if she made the right choice. She makes it fifteen minutes before breaking.
“Stop the car,” she says quietly.
“What?”
“Stop the car,” she repeats, looking at Lindsey. “Pull over and stop the car.”
Lindsey still looks confused, and mildly concerned, but listens to Emily’s request and pulls over on the side of the road. She parks the car and turns to look at Emily who is already studying her and raises an eyebrow in a silent question.
“I can’t do this,” Emily whispers after a moment.
Lindsey’s heart skips a beat and she holds onto the shred of hope she has left that Emily will stay.
“Do what?”
Emily stares at her for a moment.
“I can’t be without you,” she finally says, leaning over the console and kissing Lindsey.
When Lindsey kisses her back, Emily knows Rose (as annoying as she was) had been right. She also knows the smaller girl will never let them live this down, but she figures there are worse things in life than being teased about dating the girl she’s been in love with for most of her life.
Lindsey pulls away, eyes studying Emily as if she can’t believe she was actually still here.
“Let’s go home, yeah?”
Emily smiles and kisses her again.
“Yeah,” she agrees, “let’s go home.”
The drive back is quiet, but this time, it is because they are both so happy at the idea of being together that they can’t think of anything else. When they got back to their apartment, Rose sitting on their couch holding their dog was not what they expected.
And yet, it was what was waiting for them.
“Well, well, well,” she greets them.
“Rosie, what the fuck?” Lindsey asks.
“Don’t call me Rosie.”
“Mal does,” Emily points out, grinning when Rose turns red.
“We’re not talking about me,” she deflects, standing from the couch and pointing at Emily. “You didn’t get on the plane.”
“Well spotted.”
Rose rolls her eyes and walks to the door, eyeing Lindsey and Emily’s intertwined hands as she goes.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home to Mal and explain,” she gestures at them, “this to her.”
“You mean so you can finally make your move?” Emily asks.
“Bye!”
Lindsey and Emily share a laugh as the door closes.
“Hey, do you have your boarding pass?”
Emily holds it up, slightly confused as to why Lindsey had asked her that. Taking it from her hands, Lindsey walks to her room and immediately goes to the wooden box, grabbing it and opening it as she takes a seat on her bed. Emily follows her, curiosity getting the best of her. When she sees the contents of the box, her heart stutter-steps and she gasps slightly.
“You kept these things?” she asks quietly.
Lindsey nods shyly.
“Of course I did.”
Emily leans down and kisses Lindsey, unable to keep the smile off her face.
Her old bedroom becomes a guest room, primarily used by Rose and Mal when they visit.
They wouldn’t have it any other way.
(+1)
2019
“Remind me again why you insisted on coming back and visiting our families a week before we have to come back for the holiday?”
Emily rolls her eyes but smiles at her girlfriend, kissing her cheek.
“Can’t you just let things happen for once?”
“Where are we going though?”
Emily flashes a smile and winks.
“For a trip down memory lane.”
Lindsey looks unconvinced but remains quiet, knowing better than to continue questioning Emily. They leave Emily’s childhood home, waving to her parents as they go and Emily walks them towards the fairground. She stops Lindsey in the middle of the field, pulling out a gumball machine ring that is just as tacky as the one she gave her in high school. Lindsey takes it from her with a smile and a nod.
“Okay.”
Emily intertwines their fingers and they begin walking down the sidewalk, towards their elementary school. As they walk, Lindsey thinks about how far they have come since they first met at the park when they were toddlers. Neither of them even remember their first meeting; they were too young. Lindsey kind of loves that she can’t remember a time she didn’t know Emily.
When they reach the school, Emily stands them outside the gym doors and reaches in her pocket, pulling out a ring pop and handing it over to Lindsey with a shy smile. She smiles as she reaches out and grabs the candy from her girlfriend before leaning forward and kissing Emily. When she pulls back, Emily is blushing more than she did when Rose asked her if they had gotten married yet during their freshman year of high school.
They wander back in the direction of their childhood homes, making their next stop the playground they spent so much time at. Emily walks them to the other side of the playset, keeping Lindsey’s attention entirely on her before taking a step back and giving her a nervous smile. She reaches into her pocket once and Lindsey is half-expecting her to pull out a rock like the one she gave her when they were children when Emily takes her hand out of her pocket to reveal...nothing.
And now Lindsey’s confused.
“Turn around,” Emily tells her.
She turns, unable to hide the surprise when she sees a picnic laid out on the ground against the backdrop of the sunset. Turning back to face Emily, her heart skips a beat when she sees her on one knee, holding a ring box.
“This is the first place I proposed to you,” Emily says, opening the box. “I figured it was only right it be the last, too.”
“I beat Rose.”
Emily blinks. That wasn’t exactly the response she was expecting/hoping for.
“Uh, what?”
“I bet Rose that we’d get engaged before her and Mal.”
“So,” Emily pauses for a second. “Is that a ‘yes’ then?”
Lindsey laughs, tugging Emily to her feet and kissing her.
“It will always be a ‘yes’, Em.”
Emily smiles, kissing Lindsey once more, pulling away when she hears Rose’s voice.
“Damn you, Sonnett.”
Turning around, Emily sees Rose and Mal making their way towards them. She laughs and waves at their friends.
“Rosie, we helped Sonny with this,” Mal reminds her. “Why are you upset?”
Rose doesn’t respond immediately, fiddling with her scarf before turning to Mal.
“I was supposed to propose first,” she reveals.
“First? As in…?”
“Before Sonnett.”
“It’s not a race Rosie.”
“Yeah, Rosie,” Emily teases, ducking behind Lindsey when Rose swings at her.
“Don’t call me that,” she complains, pout only disappearing when Mal kisses her cheek.
She faces her girlfriend again and grabs her hands in her own.
“Mal-”
“No,” she interrupts.
“What?”
Mal shakes her head.
“You are not proposing right now off the cuff,” she tells Rose. “When we get engaged, you’re doing it right.”
Lindsey and Emily try to stifle their laughs as Rose sighs.
“Yes, dear.”
The four of them begin walking back to Lindsey’s house, where all of their families are waiting to celebrate the newly-engaged couple. When they arrive, Rose and Mal walk inside immediately, but Emily stops Lindsey before they enter.
“Em? What’s up?”
Emily smiles at her, the same smile she smiled all those years ago at the playground.
“We’re gonna get married.”
Lindsey squeezes Emily’s hand once and leans forward to kiss her as Emily’s thumb runs over the ring on her finger.
“We’re gonna get married.”