Together

"A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future."

— Croft M. Pentz

The team had eventually wrapped up the case, and despite being at a loss at the start, their two great minds, Spencer and Garcia, had managed to crack the cryptic codes that seemed to elude the rest of the team.

When she had come back to the team as a profiler, JJ already knew that there would be some losses that would stick with her more than others. She also knew there would be some losses that were more preventable than others, but she couldn't help that think that if the teamed worked harder, if she worked harder, Elena would still be alive.

After Rafael had been taken into custody by the local police, the rest of the team had slowly filed out for the night at the order of Emily; she wanted the team to be fresh and ready for the following day. Tara had been the last to leave, and that was almost thirty minutes ago; Emily was still in her office, but JJ couldn't bring herself to leave.

Standing at the window on the far side of the bullpen, JJ had been staring out the window for the past ten minutes, arms wrapped around herself. It was dark outside, but the distant lights of the city glittered in the background, and the cars coming and going from the building kept her grounded, so grounded that she didn't see Emily walking over to her.

"It never gets any easier," the unit chief said, her voice soft, so she didn't startle the blonde. "Outcomes like this one."

Sighing, JJ turned to Emily. "No, it doesn't," she stated matter-of-factly. "It also has a way of dredging up the past you thought you had locked away," she quickly admitted. "That what-ifs' and 'if-onlys'."

Seeing Elena on the floor of the unused building had brought back far too many memories for the young agent, knowing that at one point in her life, that could well have been her. JJ knew that if it weren't for the extensive training she had received from the FBI and the level of trust she had in her team to follow even the smallest of breadcrumbs, it would have been a different outcome. It frightened her more than she liked to admit because she knew that if it weren't for Askari and Hastings, her life wouldn't be the chaos it was right now, the mess that she still hadn't told the team about despite her 'no more lies' declaration.

"I know there are parts of this job you really can't take home, so if you ever want someone to talk to... know I am always here for you."

Home. JJ almost laughed at the word. Nothing had felt like home for a long time; the house that she once loved, the house with memories of her sons growing up and all the holidays she had shared with the team, was now just that; a house. It was just bricks and mortar with furniture inside.

As Emily turned to head back to her office, JJ reached out, she wanted to say something, the something that had been heavily playing on her mind every day since Emily had rescued her, but instead, she let the unit chief walk away. JJ watched as Emily sauntered back into her office, and she berated herself for letting herself go another day without speaking the truth.

Turning on her heels, JJ headed for her desk, grabbing her bag and her coat before heading to the elevators. Despite knowing her pile of files was growing, JJ couldn't stand to be in the building any longer, her mind was turning, and she just needed to get away; she didn't know where she could go. She didn't really have anywhere to go, and she definitely didn't want to go home to an empty house.

For longer than she would have liked, JJ always had someone to come home to; whether it was just Henry and Michael and their babysitter, or her whole family, she still had someone. But now, her house was empty unless it was her week to have the boys, and the house was just far too quiet without them in it.

So instead of going home, JJ drove around the city aimlessly. She didn't have a destination, but she was delaying the inevitable of going home, something she knew she would have to eventually because she needed a shower and a fresh set of clothes for work the next day.

At one point, she found herself outside of Will's new apartment. Knowing that the boys were with their father brought a smile to her face, and despite not going in the building, JJ felt content knowing she was in the vicinity of them.

That was one thing JJ couldn't fault Will on, despite her, despite everything she had put him through since she had returned to the BAU after her time in Afghanistan and her kidnapping; he still loved her, loved their boys. He had always been an amazing father, and JJ knew that if it weren't for her telling him to leave, he would have stayed out of a sense of duty to their family unit, even if she didn't love him like she once did.

When the lights in the apartment finally switched off, JJ began to drive again. Once again, she didn't have a destination, but her mind kept repeating one thing to her: I am always here for you. Within minutes, JJ found herself parked outside the block of apartments where Emily lived. She couldn't go any longer without talking to the unit chief, so she turned off the ignition to her car, grabbed her phone and locked the car behind herself.

JJ walked up the sidewalk and jogged up the few steps that lead to the lobby, her car keys swung nervously around her fingers as she pressed the call button for the elevator, but when she felt the nervous energy buzz through her body, she turned took the stairs. The blonde agent took the stairs two at a time, trying to get rid of whatever weird feeling that was buzzing through her body, and when she reached the fourth floor, her chest burned, and her lungs worked overtime to replace the lost oxygen.

Standing at Emily's door, JJ tried to compose herself. She straightened out her shirt and blazer and ran her fingers through her hair, and then she knocked on the door. As soon as the last knock sounded, JJ began to regret ever coming here, she was ready to turn and walk away, but then the door opened.

Emily took one look at JJ, and she knew something was wrong. The usually composed Jennifer Jareau was biting the inside of her cheek, worry and panic had woven their way onto her face, and she couldn't stand still.

"JJ, what's wrong?"

JJ swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump that had suddenly formed here. "Can– can we talk?"

Emily nodded, "Of course. Come in," she said as she moved backwards, opening the door wider for the younger agent to pass the threshold. "Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Water? Coffee?"

JJ mumbled no thanks as she made her way into the living room. She wanted to sit down, but the energy coursing through her body meant that she suddenly lost all ability to sit still for a single moment, so instead, she began to pace up and down Emily's living room.

From the end of the hallway, Emily watched as JJ paced, her eyes glued to the floor and car keys swinging around her fingers every time she turned around. It pained her to see JJ this way; if she knew the case had affected the blonde this much, then she would have asked her to stay behind and talk about it.

"JJ?" Emily's words went unanswered, so she sighed. "Jennifer, look at me!"

JJ stopped mid-pace and looked up at Emily. "Will left," she uttered suddenly, "I– I told him to leave."

"Jayje," Emily said softly; she closed the distance between the two of them, hugging JJ. Her fingers ran through the smaller woman's hair, and she pressed a kiss into her temple; Emily could feel JJ relaxing instantly at the little touches. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It just wasn't fair," JJ mumbled into the crook of Emily's neck. "It wasn't fair."

"What wasn't fair, sweetie?" Emily pressed another lingering kiss onto the side of JJ's head.

"I– I–" JJ felt the lump in her throat rise, and her chest felt tight. "I didn't love him any more," JJ's words slowly turned into sobs, and when Emily pulled her in closer, it made her cries heavier.

For a while, they stood in the middle of Emily's living room, Emily holding onto JJ for dear life as the blonde cried. It wasn't the first time JJ or Emily had been this vulnerable in front of the other. Whilst those time were few and far between, they each knew how to help the other, how to be there for the other when the time came; for JJ, that meant being held by Emily while she cried.

"Jayje," Emily sighed as she loosened her grip on JJ and stepped back. Seeing the tear tracks down the blondes face, she cupped either cheek, her thumbs wiping away the last of the tears. "You should have come to me sooner." Emily moved from her spot to the sofa, sitting down with one leg tucked under her and her arm draped over the back of it. "How long ago did he leave?"

Using the back of her hand, JJ wiped her semi-dry cheeks and sniffled as she followed Emily. "Six months."

"Wait," Emily cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes as she did the math in her head, "That's what? A month after Askari?"

JJ nodded silently as her eyes filled with tears again, and when Emily opened up her arms for the second time, she didn't hesitate to fall straight into them. The feeling of Emily's arms holding her tightly told JJ that no matter what she could admit about Will leaving, Emily wouldn't judge, that eventually, everything would be fine.

The past six months had been more challenging than JJ cared to admit; the nightmares had been the worst. Despite only sleeping when she was too exhausted to do anything else, JJ somehow managed to come to work every day with the mask she had mastered as a communication liaison, acting like everything in her life was fine. She wasn't proud of the fact that she ad managed to lie to the team for six months, but once she had started, she found it hard to stop; living in an untruthful world where her home life was hunky-dory felt like a drug of some sorts to the blonde. However, their recent case had just thrown her over the edge, and it made JJ wondered if the job had caused her to feel so indifferent to how regular people felt.

Joining the FBI, JJ knew that it would be a challenging job, but she had never envisioned her career taking her on the journey that it had. Up until her mission in Afghanistan, everything had been fine, she had loved her job as a liaison for the BAU, and even recently, she felt herself step back into the role quickly when Hotch or Emily needed her to. College JJ wouldn't believe where she was now, and if JJ was honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she liked it.

There were some days where she thought about leaving, grabbing her boys, handing in her credentials and taking off without letting anyone know, but those thoughts were always short-lived. There was always another case, another victim, someone who needed her help, and JJ would be damned if she would let another soul get hurt in the way she had.

"Are you up for telling me why you asked Will to leave?" Emily's fingers ran through blonde locks, knowing JJ found it soothing. "I know you said you didn't love him any more."

Sitting up, JJ made sure to stay close to Emily, close enough that their legs were still touching. "I had," JJ cleared her throat, "I have these nightmares," she corrected. "Or at least a vivid dream from when he had me."

Emily could hear the wobble in JJ's voice, so she placed a reassuring hand over the blondes quaking one, squeezing it. She knew a thing or two about nightmares; she had been plagued with them for months when she arrived in Paris and then again when she returned to Washington.

"I had this hallucination while I was in there, that you'd come to save me." JJ sighed at the memory, she hadn't told a soul about this, but it had been the one thing that had kept her going throughout her ordeal. "I just remember how warm you were, but before–" JJ's voice cracked as she stifled a sob, the back of her hand covering her mouth to muffle the ungodly sound. "But before you can get me up, he, uh, he comes up behinds you, and– and he kills you."

Emily's heart broke as JJ explained her nightmare; she wished the younger agent had come to her sooner; while she couldn't cure the demons, she knew she could have helped JJ talk through them.

"I watch you die, Em," JJ continued, "I watch you die and my heart just breaks every time because I never got the chance to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

For a while, she had been sure that Emily felt the same way she did; the small touches, the way their hugs lingered for a little longer than when Emily hugged Spencer or Garcia, the way that sometimes Emily knew how she felt before she had figured it out herself. JJ needed to be sure before she voiced anything because she would rather love Emily in secret and have her as a friend than not have her around at all. So when JJ stared into the eyes she adored, eyes that made her feel at home, she was sure.

"That I love you," she said meekly, hoping her confession wouldn't scare away her friend. "That's why I told Will to leave. Hallucinating you instead of him, it made me realise I loved you more than I ever did him, it wasn't fair to let him stay."

Emily was speechless. She had long given up any hope of her and JJ being anything but friends, and while Will being out of the picture would have made things easier, Emily never thought JJ was interested in her.

Emily's silence was deafening to JJ, and she wondered if she had read all the signs wrong, but then Emily squeezed her hand and smiled, the big goofy grin that always made JJ go weak at the knees. Letting go of JJ's hand, Emily's found her way to the blondes cheek, the pad of her thumb brushing against tear-stained skin softly.

"I love you too, Jennifer," Emily said, her smile never wavering. "I have done for the longest time."

Letting out a loud sigh, JJ felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulder. "Oh, thank god," she let out a breathy laugh as her forehead fell against Emily's, her eyes drifting closed. "Can I–"

The corner of Emily's mouth twitched upwards into a smile, "You never need to ask, Jennifer."

Closing the short distance between them, JJ pressed her thin lips against Emily's in a languid kiss. Despite the lacking intensity of the kiss, it still managed to make JJ feel breathless as Emily's lips moved expertly against her own. No kiss with Will had ever made her feel like she did now, or taken her breath away as this did, and despite her lungs crying out from the lack of air, JJ never wanted to stop.

Pulling back, Emily brushed JJ's hair behind her ear. "You're beautiful, JJ."

As the blood rushed to JJ's cheeks, she suddenly felt shy. Emily had complimented her before on countless BAU nights outs, but it seemed different now. "I'm a mess."

"A beautiful mess," Emily corrected. "How about I order some takeout, and we watch a crappy movie? And tomorrow after work, you can pick the boys up from Will's, and I'll take you all out."

At the mention of her sons, Emily could see the instant shift in JJ's demeanour and the soft smile that graced her face.

"I need you to know," Emily said, "I'm going to be there for you and the boys whenever you need it, Jayje. They mean the world to you, which means I'll do anything I can for them."

"I know," JJ said softly.

After Emily had placed the take out order, the women settled into the sofa; JJ snuggled into Emily's side as she had never been anywhere else. They both knew they had a lot to get through in the coming months, questions from the team and the Bureau, but they would get through it together.