4. Motivation
‘Nix, come on, let’s go!’
Nix opened her eyes, wiping the sleep from them before cursing when she groggily realized she was smearing the last bits of kohl she had left all over her cheeks. Alec was leaning over her, his dark eyes still twinkling, almost distracting entirely from the deep, dark circles underneath his eyes.
‘Nix, it’s dark out. We gotta go!’
She sat up straight, absentmindedly combing her tangled hair with her fingers. It was a miracle she’d even fallen asleep at all. Her stomach hurt so bad that falling asleep had become a challenge and every now and then she’d be woken up by the loud grumbling noises coming from both their stomachs.
It had been a week since their last proper meal. She couldn’t even remember the last meal she had before that one.
The old lady at the tavern who secretly fed them scraps that remained after her long days in the kitchen had fallen ill about two weeks ago and still hadn’t recovered. A terrible storm had ruined most of the crops, diminishing the need for outside workers. They were broke and the handful of mushrooms and berries they managed to scrounge up in the forest would only keep them fed for so long.
She stood up, bracing herself on Alec’s shoulder when she almost threatened to topple over again, darkness tugging at the edges of her vision. She still found time to be amazed by how frail he felt when he held her up, how pointy his collarbone felt underneath her fingers. She hadn’t been able to look in anything resembling a mirror for weeks now but the body she saw reflected back at her on the surface of the water whenever she bathed in the lake felt foreign to her too, her once so plump and soft curves almost completely gone.
‘Are you sure we should do this?’ he asked, softly.
She forced herself to smile and ruffled his hair. ‘Yeah. We need to get a proper meal, Alec. And I’m sure that rich bastard won’t even notice anything is gone.’
He nodded, as if to reassure himself before roughly combing his hair back from his face with his hands.
‘Did you get a good look at the place?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah, the guards should switch shifts within an hour. Plenty of time for us to get in close. It’s hot out, so I’m pretty sure he’ll have the window open. There’s usually plenty of knicknacks right there on the window sill. You climb up, I’ll keep an eye out.’
Nix nodded. ‘We grab what we can and then we get the hell out of there. In and out. Fast and easy.’
He chuckled under his breath and smiled at her as he threw a brown knapsack over his shoulder.
‘What could possibly go wrong?’
Nix gasped for air, fighting against the sheets around her.
Another nightmare. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep ever since she arrived at the Bellevue and lately the nightmares were only getting worse. Alec was always there, the two of them together, just like it had always been. And then everything changed. Over and over the events played in her head; images that would never leave her, no matter how hard she tried to push them away.
She stood up, grabbing some water for herself from the pitcher next to her bed. Trying to sleep more was futile, this she knew by now. She slipped into a pair of loafers; horrid, tacky things but more comfortable than the heels she always insisted on wearing, and grabbed a fluffy night coat from her closet before leaving her room. There was a sweetness to the air and she could smell the lavender from the fields a few miles away. Insects buzzed and chirped in the silent air. Usually the Bellevue came alive at night, but the hours of merriment had long since made way for a deep and quiet rest. She preferred the place at this time; after the party but before the start of the next morning. There was a quiet to it, a sense of possibility.
She walked out to the edges of the terrain, to a beautiful stone bench surrounded by rose bushes near a small fountain. It was her favourite spot to sit and think (or, in some cases, brood). She sat down, sighing with relief when her bare legs touched the smooth, cold stone surface. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, cracking her neck as she folded one of her legs under her.
‘Couldn’t sleep again, darling?’
Nix eyes shot open and her hands immediately balled into fists. She’d been so caught up in her daydreams that she hadn’t even heard the owner of the voice approach. Lydia stood in front of her, grinning softly as she hoisted up her heavy skirt a tad to sit down next to her.
‘Might if I join you?’
The question was a formality as the older women’s butt was already planted firmly on the bench next to her.
‘Sorry,’ Nix muttered under her breath. ‘I didn’t hear you approach.’
Miss Lydia chuckled. ‘I can be quiet when I have to be.’ She sighed softly, pulling a long pin from her hair to let her long, salt and pepper locks fall in soft waves over her shoulders.
‘We haven’t gotten a chance to talk this past week. I just… wanted to make sure you’re still on board. Have you given any thought to my offer?’
Nix bit her lip. It had been a full week since her last conversation with miss Lydia. Lydia had been busy entertaining some important clients from overseas and her request had somewhat fallen to the background. But Nix knew Lydia would come knocking sooner or later. Miss Lydia was many things, but forgetful was not one of them.
‘I have, actually,’ she forced herself to smile. ‘Listen, miss Lydia, I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I’m in your debt, truly.’
‘Oh, please, darling. If I only helped people to get something out of it for myself, what kind of world would we be living in?’ There was something about her tone that suggested that Lydia believed that that was exactly the type of world that they were living in, but Nix decided not to push her luck. Not yet.
‘Well, I appreciate it. I really do.’ She licked her lips. ‘I was wondering if maybe we could come to an agreement.’
Miss Lydia raised a manicured eyebrow. ‘I’m listening.’
‘I’m looking for someone.’
‘Yes, you mentioned that.’
‘I lost my brother the night…’ she shook her head when she threatened to choke on the word and tried again. ‘...the night before you found me.’
She swallowed, gathering courage. Miss Lydia sat next to her, not looking at her. Instead, she was gazing out over the field, her eyes following a bunch of fireflies that were darting around the grass ahead of them.
Nix paused, debating how much to tell the woman next to her. So far, Lydia hadn’t given her a reason to distrust her. But something told Nix the woman might not be so understanding if she’d told her that she’d accidentally burned a bunch of grown men to a crisp in the blink of an eye and that she then heard an overpowering voice inside of her that definitely wasn’t her own.
For a second, she could swear she heard a low, dark, rumbling chuckle coming from deep inside of her.
‘I don’t remember much from that night,’ she lied. ‘We were captured by a bunch of men. Guards. Private guards. They… They…’
Lydia placed a warm hand on her shoulder. ‘You don’t have to share the details, darling.’ Her voice hardened. ‘I”ve seen what men with power can do. You don’t have to spell it out for me.’
Nix believed her. ‘And whenever you do want to talk about it, I’ll be right here.’
Nix nodded, biting her lip. ‘When I woke up, he was gone. I have to find him. And while I do think working here is a good idea, I’m not quite sure how you’ll…’
Lydia nodded. ‘Walk with me, dear.’ She stood up and walked in a brisk pace towards the building in front of them. Curious, Nix followed wordlessly. Lydia led her through the now abandoned halls and booths where only a handful of employees were busy cleaning up the last remains of the party that had gone on all throughout the night. All of them immediately cleaned a little harder when they caught wind of Lydia walking past, but the madam didn’t so much as give them a second look.
She continued on through her office and motioned for Nix to get inside. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, staring at Nix intently. ‘If I show you this, there will be no going back for you, my dear. Are you sure?’
Nix had no idea what she was talking about, but the thought back to the dark rumble inside of her that had urged her to carry on both scared her to death and urged her on at the same time. ‘Will this help me get to Alec?’
‘Yes. Or at the very least get you to the people who took him.’
She nodded. Whatever it took.
Lydia walked over to a bookcase on the far side of the room and stuck her hand behind a couple of decorative statuettes placed on one of the shelves. She felt around for a brief second and with a grinding sound, the bookcase slowly moved to the right; revealing a dark and ominous stairway in front of them. Wordlessly, Lydia grabbed a long candle from one of the nearby candelabra’s and started heading down, not looking back to see if Nix followed
Nix frowned, staring at the darkness in front of her. Could she really trust this woman? Or would she meet her end in that dark cellar?
MOVE.
Her legs started moving on their own accord and she could feel a foreign sense of curiosity sweeping over her. Curiosity… And something more. Something far darker. Hungrier.
Slowly, careful not to break her legs, she started wandering down the stairs. After a few seconds, her eyes adjusted to the relative darkness and as she hit the bottom step she could see a long hallway with several doors to the sides. Miss Lydia was already waiting at the far end of the hallway, candle still in hand. Nix tried to ignore the cold shivers down her spine and for a brief second she debated turning on her heels and running, but she knew that chance had come and gone. Miss Lydia was staring at her, a coldness in her keen greyish eyes. Without saying another word, she opened the door.
The room behind the door was completely tiled, with a small grate in the center. Several silver carts containing different surgical instruments and knives were scattered throughout the room. In the middle was a chair, with a hunched figure sitting on it. His head was bent forward and matted hair obscured his face. His hands were tied behind his back and his entire body was slouched forward. Blood was slowly dripping from a gash in his forehead and his right knee was bent in an impossible angle.
Nix stopped at the entrance, grabbing on to the wall next to her to keep from falling over.
‘Lydia, what the fu–’
‘Darling, meet Mister Clover.’ Lydia walked over to the man and placed her finger underneath the man’s chin to lift it up. The man groaned softly and opened one badly swollen eye. He glanced at Nix before looking to the side and seeing Lydia, immediately recoiling so violently he would have fallen to the side, chair and all, if Lydia’s hand hadn’t grabbed on to the chair. Lydia’s voice was as sweet as ever, as if she were discussing the day’s tasks, instead of this bleeding man in front of them, but Nix noticed her jaws were more clenched than usual as if she was fighting the urge to not kill this man on the spot. ‘Timothy here has been a busy boy, haven’t you?’ She grabbed a fist ful of his matted black hair now and yanked his face up, making the man whimper. Lydia glanced at her.‘Nix, darling, do you remember those two girls who arrived here about three days ago?’
Nix nodded. It had been impossible to forget. The girls had been badly beaten and were more dead than alive when Noah had dragged them through the doors.
‘Timothy here was supposed to sell them to the highest bidder. Unfortunately for him, one of his associates had a glass of wine too many and spilled some information he really shouldn’t have…’
Lydia’s eyes were locked on hers now and in them, Nix saw only an endless hatred. ‘This is why we will find your brother, Nixara. Because I do what has to be done. Because I do what no one else will do. Whoever’s responsible, we will find them and we will make them pay. Do you understand?’
Nix nodded. Something deep inside of her stirred.
THIS COULD BE FUN.
In spite of the nauseating pit of fear in her stomach, Nix felt her lips curl up into a grin.
‘When do I start?’