Most people need to hear someone telling them those three words: “I love you”. So little and still, so powerful.
For a long amount of time, Misty thought she was one of those people. Someone that desperately needs to be embraced and involved in some kind of affection, even if it’s a lie.
Saying “I love you” cost as much as saying “I hate you” and in both circumstances can be meaningless. When Misty’s family threw her to the fire and left her to die, she started to understand that not because someone tells you they love you, it means that is true.
Cordelia is everything Misty needed but never dared to expect, for the simple reason she still believes that Cordelia is just too much. Too much for her and for the world. The first time she saw her it was like seeing an angel, although scars surrounded her eyes and her soul and she was a bit lost. She loved her since the moment their hands intertwined and her sweet Delia saw her. Saw her like no one ever did. Today, if she really thinks about it, she knows no one could.
Something about Delia’s eyes always made her feel stuck in that look, lost in the immensity she is and always was. They never said “I love you” in that time when Misty didn’t know nothing about hell and wasn’t damaged or so she believed.
Being brought back from the death is cathartic and Misty almost wants to cry, because hell is so cold, contrary to what everyone imagines, and she felt so lonely without Cordelia’s presence by her side and the only thing that kept her from going insane was the memory of Cordelia’s scent, the warmth of her smile that not even hell could erase.
Being alive again is different compared to the other times, maybe because this time she wasn’t supposed to come back. It’s like being emerged from some kind of drowning that we use to call death.
The first thing she sees is Cordelia’s eyes. They’re not the same, these are Cordelia’s real eyes. Misty falls for them time and time again, accepting that in every time and life she will love this woman. When her Delia touches her it’s like her blood come to life again and the heat starts to radiate from her body. Feels good to be human again. At least the most human she can muster to be.
Five years. That was the period she spent in the underworld. In five years, a lot can change. Her Delia is the Supreme now and Misty isn’t surprised at all. She always knew that whatever was destined for Cordelia, could only be magnificent and beautiful. She’s glowing with the shine of thousand suns and tears treat to fall from the swamp witch’s eyes again. There’s something about Cordelia that is always so touching, it never ceases to amaze her. That’s the power Cordelia has and always had.
Feels so good to be hugged and loved again. They don’t say “I love you”. They don’t need to.
“I knew you for such a short time and I missed you forever.”
Hearing her voice is like coming home. The sound echoing in Misty’s soul makes her feel somehow cured. Cordelia is her saving grace, a miracle she can’t explain. That’s the thing about miracles: you can’t explain them, only feel their power. Misty feels Cordelia. In every kind of way, with every fibre of her being. She feels her with an emotion that makes her cry. She cries for everything. Delia’s voice, her particular symphony, soothes her like a lullaby and all the pain she feels begins to fade.
When they’re finally alone, silence fills the air. They’re fine with that. They are together, safe.
“I want to kiss you so much right now”, Misty says and before she comprehends what is happening, Cordelia’s hands are on her face and their lips met each other. Again, is like coming home. Her lips are so unique with an unmistakable taste and the swamp witch just wants to keep kissing her, because if she stops, maybe she’ll wake up and realize it was only a dream. However, when they stop, she’s still there with the love of her life standing in front of her. The Supreme looks at her with such adoration that Misty feels weak in the knees.
Misty feels alive.
They don’t say “I love you” but the way they’re holding on to each other says much more.
Five months. That’s the time that has passed since Misty returned. Cordelia and her decided to assume their love and start a relationship. Nobody was surprised, but for Misty it was like a whole new world had been opened.
One day, Delia gives her a ring. A Fenix made in silver, representing everything she is, at least for the Supreme. It’s not like she is proposing or something, they don’t need that to know what they have is eternal, but still Misty feels overjoyed. And it’s when they’re embraced, souls synchronized with their heartbeats ‘cause they only feel this alive when they’re together, that Misty says:
“We never said «I love you» but I don’t think I care.”
Delia smiles. She agrees and most important, she understands.
“There are other ways of saying it.”
She means it. Misty knows and also feels the truth in those words. They both know how it is to be fooled and betrayed for trusting in empty words. Misty doesn’t need to hear “I love you” to know she is loved, so loved it feels unreal sometimes.
When Cordelia hands her a cup of tea on fall afternoons and involves her with a blanket and the warmth of her body, she’s saying “I love you”. When Cordelia smiles in amazement seeing her giving classes, teaching the art of magic that get them closer, she’s saying “I love you”. When Cordelia holds her in the nights and sings to her, pushing away every ghost threatening to appear, Misty knows she’s saying “I love you”.
Misty had the need of hearing those three words in other time, other life. Cordelia had that need too. They needed to hear it for the cruel reason they never had someone who made they really feel it.
Misty – You’re my saving grace, Delia.
Delia is crying. But they’re tears of joy. Joy and love. She felt so dead inside for so long that now Misty is making her feel so much at once, sometimes she can’t take it. However, she may be the Supreme, she is certain that her love for the swamp witch is the most powerful magic of all. Touching her features is touching the skin of an angel. An angel that saved her from the darkness of her life. Trembling a little, she says:
“You are the sunshine of my life.”
She means it with her whole heart like every word she had told Misty before.
They never said “I love you” but it was the first time they’ve felt loved.