Something that Mildred Ratched has always loved about herself was her pride. Since young, she had learned that pride always comes first no matter what, if she gave in, there would be a lot of trouble; not that pride didn’t, but she grew up to be tougher. It was hard and it took a lot of time to be stronger than the people that hurt her, but it had helped her in a way. So, when it came to arguing with someone, she always had something to say and if they ended up upset with each other then she could let days past by and she wouldn’t apologize even if she had been also wrong; which it was never the case.
But little did she know that Gwendolyn was in the same place. She, after all, had worked in politics for a long time and she had learned so much from it just so she could be heard by the men around her. She wasn’t just any kind of woman, no, she had earned her place and she had fought anyone who crossed her path just to get there and be the best. So, it was for sure that Gwendolyn Briggs wouldn’t let just anyone win an argument. She had been intimidated before and it had ended in awful moments, but after working with such an asshole, she knew better than to not stay quiet.
Even if it was Mildred’s first relationship with a woman, she thought that somehow she would get some control over the relationship but Gwendolyn knew better, so little by little they started to get to know each other, how nice Mildred could be, what of a tease Gwendolyn could be and more. But of course, they couldn’t avoid arguments or fights between each other.
Gwendolyn had been waiting in the living room for Mildred for about an hour now, Mildred had said that she’d quit her job so they could spend time together, but she had gone back to make sure things were okay even if she wasn’t working there anymore. And Gwendolyn understood, she truly did, but the fact that Mildred spent all day doing everything for her and also making sure they were okay at the hospital really made her feel upset. She knew how attached she had grown to the place and she was now friends with Betsy, but even Gwendolyn knew that Mildred needed some time to rest.
She jumped a little at the sound of the door closing, even if she knew that Mildred had tried to be careful to not make any sound, thinking that maybe Gwendolyn was already asleep. Gwendolyn sighed softly as she sat up again on the couch, ready to have the conversation with Mildred.
“You don’t have to be quiet, I know you’re here. I’ve been waiting for you.” Gwendolyn said in a calming voice.
Mildred cursed under her breath as she walked slowly to the living room, placing her coat and her purse on the sofa. “I’m sorry, I thought you’d be asleep. You had chemo today, it’s only fair if you slept all day.” She smiled softly as she walked to the couch where Gwendolyn was sitting.
“Chemo may be hard but that’s not gonna make me weaker in one day.” She said a little more firmly as she looked up at Mildred.
Mildred furrowed her brows as she sat down, not expecting what Gwen had said. “What do you mean? I know it makes you tired but I never said it’ll make you weak.”
“I know…but it feels like you think that.” She tried to stay calm, not wanting to start a fight or make such a big deal out of it but it was time to talk about it. “I know you only want to take care of me and make sure I’m okay, but when are you going to start looking out for yourself?” She asked in a soft voice as she took Mildred’s hand. “You think I don’t notice when you wake up in the middle of the night and start reading those books trying to find something? Or that you sometimes don’t even sleep but you tell me you did and try to get back to bed before I wake up? I do, Mildred and it worries me.”
Mildred thought she had been careful with her movements, she just didn’t want to wake her up and had to explain everything. “I’m just…I need to find something for you, I just-“
“Mildred. You’re already helping, darling. The chemo is hard, you’ve seen that but…it’s something that will continue to happen.”
“Don’t say again that it has no cure. You know there could be a chance. I told you, Gwendolyn. I’d do everything in my power to help you out.” She said softly as she felt tears in her eyes.
“And you’re helping me out by leaving every day and leaving me here alone.” She said without thinking as she also felt tears in her eyes. “You have to understand that I also worry about you and I don’t want you stressing out. I can take care of myself, I’m not a baby, I’m not completely sick just yet, we are working on this.” She raised her voice just a little bit, but she also didn’t want to start yelling knowing that it’ll affect Mildred.
Mildred squinted her eyes softly as she shook her head. “I’m fine, I’m trying my best to get this to work, I want you to get better. You have to trust me on this, you-“
“And do you trust me? Because I feel like you don’t trust me. You said you’d stay with me but you’re also worrying about the hospital, ever since Edmund ran away.”
“Why do you always have to go back to him?” Mildred took a sit back as she knew where this was already going.
“Why? Because everything was about him at first, you lied and then everything turned in a different way and things changed, but it seems like it’s still a priority.” She looked back at Mildred as she felt her chest heaving.
“You’re my priority! I have done nothing but taken care of you trying to find a place for you to go so you can get better! Edmund is long forgotten, there is nothing else I can do for him but yes! I do worry that he’ll find us.”
“I’m not a charity cause, Mildred! I can take care of myself! I need you to calm down, so you don’t end up stressing out and getting sick for all the things you’re dealing with! And Edmund…he knows better than to not get back here, they are looking for him.” Gwendolyn looked down as she tried to take deep breaths.
“You don’t know him like I do, Gwendolyn! I’ve known him for a long time, he’s my brother! You saw the things he did! You don’t know what he’s capable of!”
“See? This is still about him! Not just me, you’re not just worried about me, you still think of him!” She laughed softly as she shook her head.
“And what do you expect me to do?! I know I said that chapter of my life had ended but I’m terrified for you! I don’t want anything to happen to you! This is not about him this is about you, about us! Why can’t you understand that?!” She raised her voice a little as she stood up.
“Because I told you to stop! I told you this was a lost case already! I have cancer, terminal cancer and there is nothing I can do about it! Chemo is a way to make the progress slower, but you knew this already, Mildred! I don’t want you to spend your life dealing with this!”
“I thought you had said you wanted me in your life, you got me into this and now that I’m here, you want me out? I’ve never felt like this before and it’s not fair that you’re upset about things like this! I’m trying to work this out for both of us!”
“Maybe I do want that!” She yelled as she looked back at Mildred. “Maybe I want you to stop worrying and just get a life where I’m not in! You don’t trust me enough and you just feel pressured to stay with me because I’m sick!” She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she bit her lip.
Mildred shook her head. “You have no right to say I don’t trust you! That has nothing to do with all this! And you’re not pressuring me into anything, I came looking for you because I want you and I love you!”
“You love the idea of what we could be but that’s something that is not gonna happen.” She said quietly as she wanted to end this argument already.
Mildred shook her head as she also had started crying. “I can’t believe you. You’re not like this.”
“Things change.” She simply said as she looked away from Mildred, knowing that she’ll want to apologize if she saw her crying.
Mildred bit her lip as she tried not to sob, she knew why Gwendolyn was doing this and she knew that she had done and said wrong things, but she didn’t want to give in and say it was her fault that they ended up like this too. So, she just nodded and left the room without saying anything else.
Gwendolyn felt herself shaking as she covered her mouth, feeling so helpless at the moment. What had she done?
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It has been two days since the argument, no words spoken between them, not even facing each other. Gwendolyn spent most of her time locked in their room since Mildred had decided to sleep on the guest room. She could hear steps and doors closing knowing that Mildred had left. Mildred couldn’t bare staying in the apartment, even if Gwendolyn had told her to stop, she couldn’t help but keep doing her research, but this time at the hospital with Betsy. She hadn’t mentioned anything of what had happened, it had been a hard argument and she knew better than to avoid it because she was not going to give in in what she had said. She knew Gwendolyn hadn’t meant most of the things she had said, just like Mildred knew she had said things without even thinking.
She understood the position Gwendolyn was in, she felt hopeless even if Mildred and the doctors had tried everything in their power to give her hopes about recovering. It was not just any sickness, it was a long fight that was ahead of them and yes, there was a possibility of her not getting out of this alive. It hurt Mildred more than anything but that was the first reason why she had to keep looking and finding ways of finding a new way.
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Gwendolyn had been waiting in the kitchen for Mildred, with a cup of tea on her hand. She was not ready to give in, but she also wanted to make sure that Mildred got home safe and sound. Mildred was right about feeling terrified about Edmund, he was a murdered and she knew now that maybe he would want revenge after all, but she had been wrong about Mildred doing this for Edmund again and she regretted that, but she also knew that if she apologized, it was going to be her way of saying ‘I was wrong’.
She heard the door once again closing and silent steps walking around the house. She expected Mildred to go straight to the room without saying a word, but instead, she walked to the kitchen where Gwendolyn was. They looked into each other’s eyes as Mildred stopped just in front of the table, not expecting Gwendolyn to be there. Gwendolyn offered her a small smile and a nod before drinking her tea.
Mildred bit her lip as she tried to swallow back her words, walking straight to the fridge to grab some juice to calm her nerves. Mildred never felt the need to say sorry about the things she did or said, she did them for a reason, but even she knew that the argument that they both had, had been for a silly reason; they were both stressed out about what had happened and what was happening and yes, even Mildred knew she was wrong and she had to make things the way she had said she would.
She turned around to find Gwendolyn still sitting on the table, but she was now looking at her cup. Mildred licked her lips as she tried to find something to say. “I…” she cleared her throat softly. “I bought some peaches yesterday. I thought you would…you would like them.” She said softly and quietly as she looked down at her glass.
Gwendolyn nodded and dared to look up at her. “I ate one earlier. They are good.” She offered another soft smile.
Mildred only nodded as she took a sip of her glass, wanting to say more but afraid to even open her mouth, not knowing if Gwendolyn was ready to talk. They both stayed in silence again, both thinking what they should say next or really should do next. For both of them, these two days have been hard without talking to each other, Mildred silently walking into their room to grab her clothes and then leaving, and Gwendolyn staying all day alone.
“I’m-“ They both said at the same time, looking up to see each other and laughing a little.
Mildred bit her lip as she set her glass on the counter, looking back to Gwendolyn. “You can…I…”
Gwendolyn smiled softly as she set her cup in front of her. “I’m sorry.” She said softly as she raised her brows, wanting Mildred to say something before she continued.
Mildred tilted her head softly and smiled. “I’m sorry too.” She said as she walked to the table, but instead of sitting on one of the chairs, she pulled Gwendolyn’s chair back and sat on her legs, wrapping her arms around her neck. “I do trust you and I know that I promised I’d be here. I guess I’m just desperate to find something, somewhere we can go.” She said softly as she looked right into blue eyes.
Gwendolyn nodded. “I didn’t mean to drop everything the way I did. I know you only care for me and I let my thoughts get the best of me.” She said as she wrapped her arms around Mildred. “I love you, and I know you’re doing your best to help, and you really are. I just want you here with me. Forget about it for a moment.”
Mildred nodded softly as she rested her forehead against Gwendolyn’s. “I will, I promise.” She said softly as she smiled.
“You know, we could’ve just said this that same night instead of suffering and waiting two days to apologize.” Gwendolyn teased as she laughed.
Mildred laughed along and shrugged. “What can I say? Pride. We won’t give it up so easily.” She chuckled as she leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “Just next time say I’m right.” She said in a raspy voice as she kissed her lips again.
Gwendolyn shook her head as she pulled away slowly. “I may love you, but I won’t give up so easily, sweetness.” She smirked, pulling Mildred impossibly closer as she kissed her lips again.
And so the night went on, with both of them enjoying their time together once again after they two day argument. Though they knew it wouldn’t be the last time, there was no denying that they’d always make up for it in the best way.