Chapter 1
the light bulb that some how was still on lightly flickered in a distinct pattern. a werid buzzing electrical sound filled the silent room and so did the static of the old radio smitty and john had been using. they sat on the old green couch they had with john holding the radio trying to get any signals. smitty sat next to him on john’s right, holding a paper that showed morse code translation in his left and a pencil on his right. after a few minutes of john turning the radio nob, he had lost hope on hearing a puny sort of message and took out the batteries from radio. “dude there’s no fucking point,” john sighed. smitty looked at him confused, “we’ve only been trying for 10 minutes!”. “if there’s nothing but static for 10 minutes, then there nothing outside,” john putt away the used battery in a small ziplock and the radio on a wooden shelf. “well i’m not giving,” smitty stood up taking the radio and the same batteries they used. john felt too exhausted to argue with him or to tell him to not waste the batteries power, only responding with “suit yourself,”.
walked towards the mattress that was located in the top left corner in the room. there ocatavia laid down watching the two boys from a distance. john smiled, stepping over her to take the wall side of the mattress and laying down. he felt octavia get up and walk to smitty, jumping up on the couch and sitting where john was previously sitting. if smitty wasn’t so laser focus, he would giggle at the realization. john looked up at octavia disappointingly before he slumped back down on the mattress and faced his body to the wall. this is what their life had been for a while. they slowly started to lose track of time due to them being stuck in the shelter. if smitty was correct, they were only a month into the nuclear bombing. they both weren’t sure if it was even safe to step back inside their house let alone outside. the atmosphere could be toxic and easily kill the both of them if they don’t take precautions.
john tried not to think about it too much as he had a full on panic attack a few days ago one night, woke up in a cold sweat, eyes dwelled with wet tears and couldn’t make a proper sentence to smitty who was half awake. john wasn’t religious but he did pray everyday that somehow that they would make it out okay. with that in his mind, john closed his eyes to sleep with smitty spending 30 minutes in the radio before the batteries had died. smitty called it a night, putting the batteries in the charging case and turning off the light bulb. he pulled in octavia’s bed a few feet away from the lovers mattress before smitty slid in the bed. his arms immediately fished out to wrap around john’s waist, smitty’s chin rested on john’s shoulder. john groaned but didn’t move smitty away from him. smitty shushed him, “it’s gonna be okay,”. “i know,” john replied, “just can’t sleep even since we’ve stayed here,”. john turned to smitty, no longer facing the wall. the room was dark and they couldn’t see each others faces but they could feel each other softly exhale on their skin. “we’re safe, nothing should happen to us,” smitty was able to find john’s hair, letting his fingers glide through his curls with ease. “dude we haven’t showered in like a month why are you touching my greasy hair?” john moved smitty’s hand away from his hair, both of them softly laughed. john was still able to make jokes, the small doses of dopamine they gained help john cope. “i dunno, i just like your hair, like a lot,” smitty replied.
john smiled, moving closer to kiss him accidentally on the nose instead of lips. they both laugh harder than last time, their company was the only thing keeping them alive. john rested his head on smitty’s chest, his arms around smitty’s waist. smitty wrapped his arms around john’s back. “i love you,” john said. smitty felt himself smile, he rubbed john’s back in a circular motion softly, it help distress john in situations like these.
“i love you too,”.
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diary entry: day 30?
starting to lose track of time again. john said it was thrusday so it should have been 30 days since the bomb but we are both not sure. still no luck on the radio, both of us hope we will receive a message like we did on day 20. last time they said that they were preparing to stack up food and aid for citizens in the US. where they start hasn’t be realized but we are hoping that it is close by. octavia health hasn’t declined or hasn’t showing any concerning symptoms though i am concerned for her mental health due to the sudden shift of living situations. maybe if the outside is safe enough we are able to leave the shelter.
smitty signing off. 7/8/25.
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john laid sideways on the couch with his head on smitty’s lap, they got stared at the wall in front of them as the clock on the wall ticked silently. octavia stayed sleeping in her bed which was hard if the size of the boys king sized bed. ”do you think it’s safe to go outside?” smitty asked. john looked up at him, “i mean dunno,”. “well i mean it’s been a month and we have gas mask,”. john sat up, “i have no idea dude, if you think it’s safe go out there,”. “wow! why are you lashing out on me?” smitty sound concerned. he placed his hand in john’s shoulder, his palm resting at his collarbone. “i just-“ john cut himself off, trying to keep composer. he exhaled through his nose and in through his mouth. “i dunno, i don’t know what’s going to happen to us. that’s scary enough as it is,” john pauses “let alone know if we’re able to go out there,”. smitty started to rub john’s back slowly again. “well never know til we go out there do we?” smitty ask. john nods. after a while of sitting john spoke, “i mean, we can try”.
smitty seemed a bit taken aback, “wait really?”. john shrugged his shoulders, “i mean yeah, you said we have gas mask,”. smitty thought for a moment, they had supplies to take a quick walk around outside before quickly coming back. “but didn’t the government said not to step outside?” smitty was now back away from the idea. “weren’t you the one that brought the idea?” john asked. smitty sat for a bit, was it really worth it to go out. a few minutes shouldn’t hurt. “sure why now,” smitty said. they both got to packing their own bags just in case things went wrong. a lantern, radio, batteries, flashlights, pocket knife smitty owned, a sketch book john brought, map of their town and their gas mask. they both dressed from dirty pjs to hoodies and long pants and boots to protect themselves from the air. smitty leashed octavia, her tail wagged faster than light. they all put on their gas mask, including the dog. they looked up at the latter on the side of the room that led up to the garage. john gestured smitty to go up first, still nervous to go outside. smitty passed the leash to john before going up the latter and opening the trapdoor.