She wakes with a gasp that rattles her lungs, her body tense and sweaty, her heart racing.
Her hand flies to the back of her neck, but finds only raw skin. The careless touch makes her wince.
She relaxes back against the bed, shifting awkwardly to remove the pressure from her tender neck. It's a small wound but a deep one, and still uncomfortable. She rests her hand on her chest, feeling her heartrate slowly but surely return to normal. The ship rumbles around her.
Just dreams, Catra reminds herself. Not visions. Not glimpses through eyes that aren't her own. Not anymore.
She thinks she woke earlier, too, drifting in and out of consciousness. Every time she thinks she's settled, images flicker behind her eyelids, startling her awake. Sleep has been restless and vague since she got here. Since before, actually. She hasn't had a decent sleep since…
Since…
She rolls onto her front, pressing her cheek into the pillow, hoping to take the pressure off her wound. The skin pulls from the sharp angle of her neck. It's no less or more comfortable.
The minutes drag on. She wonders idly whether she can blame the lack of natural light to aid her sleep cycle, if she ever had one to begin with. But the Fright Zone was never really any better in that regard. The novelty of having her own room had worn off fast, but… she misses it. Dark, cold, and windowless; not unlike the room she's in now, really. The only thing missing is Entrapta.
Catra groans into the pillow, holding her head there until her breathing becomes uncomfortable and she’s forced to come up for air. She's acutely aware of Entrapta's presence on the ship. Even the fact that Entrapta is alive is… something she's still processing. Just seeing her today had been overwhelming. The ghost of her mistakes, in the flesh. Her hands on her neck, on her back, practically under her skin… Entrapta had been careful, she thinks. It was at least more care than she’s ever associated with her. Probably more care than she deserves.
Still it throws her that Entrapta is here, in the middle of space, where no one should be. Where Catra could go and find her easily, if she wanted to.
But instead she lies still and tries not to think, and is halting retaken by sleep.
It doesn't hold her long. Her thoughts have begun to blur in the way thoughts tend to do when left alone in a dark room for too long. She's slipping. The ache she's been suppressing for months has returned in full force.
She hugs her arms tightly to her body and curls deeper under her blanket, a weak mimic of human warmth and weight grounding her. Tears of frustration threaten to well in her eyes and her face warms with shame at her own desperation.
It… wouldn't be weakness. Anyone would understand her not wanting to be alone after… everything.
And Entrapta had forgiven her. Or had said she had, at least. It feels too soon - too soon to be forgiven, and far too soon to expect things to go back to normal.
But Catra can't be alone right now. She sets her mind on that.
Entrapta is simply her best option. That's what she tells herself. Anyone would do. But she's not sure how Sparkles feels about her, and Bow is practically a stranger, and Adora is… too complicated. Entrapta is her best bet.
She gets up, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders more for comfort than for warmth. There's finality to it. Standing feels more productive than the alternative, at least.
It feels very much as though she shouldn't be in the corridor while she's supposed to be asleep. An idle fear of being seen grows in her chest, although she can't imagine what anyone might presume she's doing there.
Without doors, it isn't difficult to find Entrapta's room. Her eyes, ideal for dark spaces, make out stray locks of hair fallen from the edge of the bed pooling on the floor. Rather than lose her nerve waiting in the doorway, she knocks lightly on the wall.
Entrapta's covered figure stirs at the sound, but doesn't seem to wake.
'Entrapta?' Catra says, as loudly as she can without disturbing anyone else. Her voice sounds weaker than she intends. She clears her throat.
Entrapta jolts, hair strands twitching on the floor, mumbles something, and then haltingly lifts herself onto her elbows, turning over. Her blanket slips from her back, but remains twisted around her legs. She squints into the faint light of the corridor.
'Catra…?' she says uncertainly. She sits up fully, rubbing her eyes. Her hair falls over her shoulders, loose and lifeless. Catra wonders whether the others have seen her with her hair down like this before. 'Is something wrong?'
'No. I mean… Not really.' What is she supposed to say? I had a bad dream? Like a child? That's what she feels like, standing in the doorway with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
Entrapta's vivid eyes seem almost to glow in the weak light. She's seen those in dreams, too. In nightmares.
'I'm just… having trouble sleeping,' Catra admits.
'Oh.' Entrapta blinks at her. 'Did you think I might be able to make you something for that?' She's already starting to get up, and her hair is beginning to gather itself back into its pigtails. 'I don't have the ideal equipment with me, but it could be done.'
'No, no. I just thought… if you wanted to, maybe we could… sleep together? Like… Like we used to.'
Entrapta's eyes widen. 'You want to?'
'If… If it's okay with you, then…'
'Yes!' Entrapta beams at her, patting the bed beside her. 'Come on, Catra.'
Catra lingers in the doorway a moment more before getting in with her blanket still wrapped around her. Entrapta lies back down beside her. Catra doesn't have to look to know she's still smiling.
It's the easiest thing in the galaxy to let Entrapta wrap her arms and hair tightly around her and rest her chin on her shoulder. Catra feels herself begin to relax.
'You're really warm,' Entrapta says, too loudly, too close to her ear.
'Yeah.'
Entrapta sighs contentedly, her breath tickling Catra's skin, making her shudder.
'I missed this,' she says, more quietly.
Catra tenses. 'I'm sorry,' she whispers.
'For what?''
'Everything.'
Entrapta pulls her a little closer. 'You already apologised earlier. Did you forget?'
Catra fidgets.
'Catra.' Entrapta's thumb brushes her cheek. 'I'm really glad you're here.'
If Catra tears up a little at that, it's nothing she needs to admit.
She opens her mouth, but can't find the words to say. I'm glad I'm here, too. I'm glad you're here. I missed you. I'm so sorry. I love you.
'Goodnight,' she says instead.
Entrapta doesn't reply. Perhaps she's already asleep.
Catra closes her eyes.
It's actually not very comfortable. She's too hot under two blankets, and Entrapta is holding her too tight, and she can feel and hear her breath against her shoulder. Her breathing is so… steady. Grounding. Hypnotic.
It's the best sleep she's had in months.