Sleeping with you
The sexual tension had been growing throughout the training. Fighting on (almost) equal terms had made her deeply excited, it was incredibly emotional. Now she was realizing she was born for that; having been raised as a mundane had deprived her of many aspects of her nature, that now was slowly regaining the upper hand. She now felt she was developing a potential she had always possessed, but being unaware of it, she had always felt like something in her life was lacking. Now instead here she was: agile, powerful, brave, ready for her duty, and her destiny.
Meeting Jace had been another reward; she certainly didn't have much experience with relationships, but she immediately felt like he was her home and she knew very well that there would be no one else in her life. They said "Nephilim love once in a lifetime, completely" and Clary was realizing how true this axiom was.
After that particularly intense sparring session - not to mention those amazing runes lighting up golden! - Clary had felt charged with energy, and not even Imogen’s sudden appearance had been able to completely ruin the moment. So now she and Jace, hand in hand, were running to his room, touching and kissing, tripping and laughing, trying to break free from their training gear, almost stuck on them.
On the threshold, Jace stopped for a moment, took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, putting into that kiss all the passion and emotion he felt, all the desire he had for her and the disbelief in discovering that she wanted it too, while he hoped to be worthy of the love he was offered.
Clary smiled into the kiss. “What about going in? Or are you going to make me wait a bit more?". Jace’s gaze ran from her eyes to her lips to her body: she was certainly not the first girl he brought to his bed, but by the Angel! he now felt how different this was from any other experience. He smiled too, and suddenly reached down and picked her up bride-style. Like the bride who his heart was starting to hope for, one day.
They went into the bedroom and Jace gently laid Clary down on the bed. "You're beautiful," he whispered, bending down to kiss her. She drew him to her, backing up on the bed so they were more comfortable, then took his hand and placed it on her breast. "Undress me," she said simply. Jace started to take off her training tank top while Clary slipped her hands under the pillow to give him free rein. She didn't realize it immediately, but her hands had encountered something: a soft object, with an approximate shape, apparently nothing dangerous, but that intrigued her.
"Wait - she said as Jace kissed her now naked belly - what's in here?". Jace's mind was completely blurry with desire, touching Clary's skin and scenting her under his mouth, so he just muttered a “Huh? What?". "Yes, here, there’s something under the pillow." Jace looked up in a daze as Clary slid her hand under the pillow to reach the mysterious object.
Jace felt his brain clear up suddenly, he got what was about to happen and launched himself at Clary to prevent her from reaching the object. “No, don't touch!”.
Too late.
Jace suddenly exhaled the breath he was holding; blushing, he moved away from her, putting his hands in his lap and observing Clary who, wide-eyed, was staring at the mysterious object: a teddy bear stuffed toy, white and blue, two obsidian black eyes, a small checkered bow around its neck. Worn and ripped just like only a beloved puppet could be. Mouth open, Clary took it with both hands and then looked questioningly at Jace, who kept his eyes down, staring at his hands.
"I know what you’re thinking - he said - I ..."
She remained silent for a while. “Is it yours?". Jace's silence was more eloquent than any speech.
“Jace, look at me. This is nothing to be ashamed of "
Jace nodded, then smirked. “Interesting, right? The great shadowhunter warrior who sleeps, yeah, I mean, with a ... puppet. I feel so stupid ”.
She gave him a small smile. "Are you fond of it?"
"It's silly, I know. But I can't get rid of it. It’s been the only toy I've ever had - and I had to steal it, and I've always felt guilty about it, I thought I had taken it from another child who perhaps needed it too. But… I was so alone. I didn't have anyone. A sibling, a mother, someone who could give me love even if I didn’t do anything special to deserve it, without asking for anything in return. And at night I had nightmares and cried. My fears, my craving for love, I poured everything onto this… object, but for me, it is so much more than that ”.
"Does it have a name?"
"It didn't have before. Then, when I came to live with the Lightwoods and met Alec, I gave it his name, because Alec became to me the living version of this teddybear. I haven't been afraid since, but it always reminds me of what I've been through. And of everything I’ll never allow happening to my children, if I have any. "
Clary's smile deepened. Holding the bear in her hand, she gave Jace a tender kiss, then, turning to the puppet, she exclaimed "Well, Mr. Alec/Bear, you fulfilled your duty over the years. But now you’re becoming too embarrassing a secret for my boyfriend, so please make yourself scarce and don't bother us! "
She put the bear back under the pillow, then came back on all fours next to Jace and approaching his ear whispered "I gave him a little pep talk. Now, where were we ..? "