Something

“Sarah! You said you would be there, too!” Alison sounded serious. Sarah rolled her eyes because she was sure she would not notice. “Yeah, I know. I just…I’m not gonna make it. Sorry Alison.” And without another explanation Sarah left.
After that night, a few days ago, she couldn’t stand being around Delphine. Something weird happened with herself. And also, with the blonde. She could feel it in the moment their lips met. Even if nothing more happened that night. Something did happen.
She was walking through that little park, stuck in her thoughts and stuck in her pain. Sarah never thought that it was possible to feel that way. She knew that all of her sisters suffered. Everyone had lost a big part of themselves when Cosima died but there just didn’t seem to be any other feeling left. Just this pain and that big emptiness.
She also always felt the need to scream. From the top of her lungs until they started burning.
Again, she didn’t even notice she was crying again until the first tears started running. With a quick and hard punch, she crashed her fist against the nearest tree and screamed.
“You’re going to get yourself hurt. Physically.” “Jesus Christ Delphine! You need to stop scaring the living shite out of me!” Sarah jumped and tried to hide her hand. Delphine stood behind that tree and stared at the gras. Sarah could bet she was also crying. “You’re not at Alison’s tea thing, then?” the blonde just shook her head. Not looking up. Sarah wasn’t sure what to do. Even standing beside her made her feel even more pain. And on the other hand, there was also a tiny bid of Cosima’s presence. Sarah couldn’t even explain but that what those women had was something special. And Delphine would forever carry a part of her sister with herself.
A tiny smile formed around Delphine’s lips, noticing Sarah’s searching eyes all over her. “Well, you won’t find it either.” She whispered. “But what if I already found?” Delphine looked up, meeting Sarah’s eyes. “Delphine – I don’t know what happened. But-“ “Shh.” The blonde made a few quick steps towards the brunette. Sarah grabbed her hand, trying to stop her movement. But Delphine’s eyes already turned dark – locking with Sarah’s. Both searching for something. “Don’t let that face fake you…” “Please just stop.” “Delph-“ this time it was the blonde who crushed her lips against Sarah’s. No hesitation this time. She pushed her against the tree, pinned her hand above. With her free hand Sarah grabbed Delphine’s waist, pulling her against herself. Delphine let her hands discover that tiny body in front of her. A body that could be hers. Touching a face, looking just like her. Tasting those lips, nearly as soft as hers.
Only her own sobbing was what stopped them. Sarah pulled her in to a close hug and hold that taller woman tight. Feeling her own tears falling. “Shh…I know…I know…” there was nothing in this world she could say. And she knew it.
“Elle me manque tellement…” “I’m sorry Delphine but –“ “I miss her! I miss her so much! And I’m trying so hard to move on. But I keep seeing her. Hearing her voice. Feeling her. And then there is you. With a face just like hers. A passion nearly as deeply as hers. And the bond you shared…” Delphine put Sarah’s face in her hands. Searching. Again. Sarah tried to look down, but Delphine wouldn’t let her. “You won’t find her. Not in me. Not in any of our sisters. Cos is gone, Delphine. No matter how many of our faces you will see. No matter how deep your love was that there’s still a part of her here within you. Cosima is gone.”