Synthesis

“Excellence is not an act but a habit” - Will Durant (misattributed to Aristotle)

Amity Blight is perpetually exhausted. Between her 4 APs, Student Council Meetings every Monday, Mixed Martial Arts Club every Tuesday and Thursday after school, and nightly training sessions with Lilith, she barely has time to breathe. 

But Friday afternoons, Friday afternoons are all her’s. She runs 5 o’clock story time. Every week, she gets to de-stress by bringing life to stories. She brought timeless tales of friendship, adventure, creativity, individuality, cooperation, and more to life, enchanting an audience of small children in the process.

It is a lovely escape. Of course, she releases aggression through fighting. 

Combat is the most real experience, real blood pumping through your veins, real water running down your face, real pain when you hit the mat, real bruises when an insolent girl jump kicks you in the jaw….

But storytime is the opposite, it’s a realm of fantasy. A world without status, hierarchy, parental expectations. There is no blood, there is no sweat, there is no pain. There are only colorful pastel drawings that bring to life cute little moralistic characters.

Her parents never let her come to storytime as a kid, but they let her come now. 

“Volunteering will look good on college apps,” was why her mother avidly supported her library goings.

All this is why rage consumes her when she spots one Luz Noceda as the kids file out after giggling at a story about a funny mouse. The short haired girl stands at the storytime corner, looking at Amity in awe.

“What are you doing here,” Amity demands.

“Uh...I’m the new recruit...I decided to volunteer after seeing a poster on the bulletin board because I love reading and to read aloud to people. They told me to come to you for protocol!” 

She does not have the right to do this. This girl, my G*d the nerve, to invade MY peaceful spot, MY sanctuary.

But still, she keeps up her cold poker face.

“Literally, two weeks ago you kicked me in the face. What makes you think I’m going to take time out of my busy da--”

“MITTENS, WE’RE HOME” A mischievous voice booms throughout the library, obnoxiously loud.

Oh no, how did they know where to find me…

Two twins stand at the entrance to the children’s section, grinning with Dionysian delight, like nymphs delighted with chaos.  

Amity breathes, pushing down her embarrassment and anger as her face reddens. The twins are her opposite in every way, so undisciplined and annoying.

“Edric, Emira, you need to be quiet in the library. Please don’t do anything weird…”

Em laughs, “Mittens, we have no malicious intentions, just wanna say hi to our favorite baby sister. Who’s your new friend?”

“Hi! I’m Luz, Luz Noceda, just moved her last summer. Who are you guys?” the dolt introduces herself.

“I’m Ed and she’s Em,” the Blight twins bow in sync. 

“We are actors, college students, and agents of disorder, at your service” Em follows up with.

“Woah… actors huh…. What productions have you been in?” Luz’s eyes are full of admiration. 

“We specialize in musical theatre so... Les Mirabiles, Bring It On, Cats --don’t ask--, and Heathers…”

“Woah! I saw Heathers back in San Francisco…”

“Wow, you are from SF? Ed and I live in New York now, in dorms of course, and it’s so much better than this dump of a town….how are you finding….” Amity slinks away from the bubbly trio. 

I am above their stupid chatter. Now I have to train the newbie AND deal with my older siblings, UGH.

She began to shelf books, her other much less enjoyable job at the library. Although, this too gave her a sense of satisfaction. The books were orderly, perfect. She got to place each one in their rightful place, and they would not move.

The Dewey Decibel system guides her as she reorders and restores shaken shelves. For an hour she labores at this menial task, and her mind wanders.

This new girl is awful, she kicks my face now ends up here. Is she stalking me? Her attitude gets under my nerves, she challenged my authority, and now still tries to act all friendly? Now butters up my siblings? Is she playing some manipulative game or is she really that stupid, that idealistic….

Amity settled on a certain conception.

Luz is a child, just like the ones I read too, but she should have grown up long ago. She should have worked on getting ready for responsibility and challenge instead of practicing ridiculous cartwheels.

“Oh my god Luz, that’s fantastic, where did you learn how to make that?” Her brother still talks far too loud for the library. 

Amity goes to investigate, turning a corner, and seeing a dragon made from books. 

Luz dances around it, flailing and twirling, performing for the laughing twins. She pretends to fight the dragon, with the most ridiculous moves Amity has ever seen. 

She is so off balance, I could go over there and sweep her off her feet and get my revenge right now.

But of course, she does not. 

“Really? In the library! It takes hours to shelf those books, and you have the audacity to use them for playing pretend? You all can leave now.” Amity seethes.

“Relax, little miss perfect, it’s just for fun--” Emira starts.

“Your fun you mean. Well, I always have to clean up your fun.” She storms away from giggling twins and a horrified Luz, her nails digging into palms. She will clean up the dragon, but later, first she needs to calm down, to regain composure.

She storms through non-fiction, and cook books, and philosophy, directionless.  

Sartre was right, hell is other people. Why do they intentionally bother me like this, why do they make mother mad by skipping class, why do they play their pranks on me? I need to go to my desk, and read some Azura, or perhaps journal, I bet I could write a great entry on how peeved I am.

Amity strides toward her secret hide out. She customized the space a lot time ago, outfitting it with a large desk, fairy lights, and a punching dummy.  She still can’t believe that a. The library had a hidden roof, and b. a librarian, Gary, let her claim it. Of course, she was their best volunteer, but she was not used to such kindness.

But then, Amity arrives at the door, and see it cracked. Belligerent voices flow out of the room.

“Come on, you see how she treats people… let us have it!”

“No… that’s so cruel to expose someone’s secrets like that. Anyone’s.”

“She’s so proud, let’s knock her down a few notches. We won’t take all of her diary pages, just a few to post around school.”

Blood rushes once more to Amity’s face. She would be so dead if some of those secrets got out.

Crap crap crap, I can’t let that happen. No no no… I need to...

“No, I won’t allow it.” Amity realizes that’s Luz’s voice defending her.

The new girl continues, “I know she needs to be humbled, but stealing her innermost thoughts and revealing them to the school is not the way to do that. We can’t cheat her like this.”

Em and Ed laugh. 

“Naivete at it’s finest,” Edric giggles.

Amity swings the bookcase door wide open with a thump. She stands, glaring at the twins trying to yank her diary from Luz’s hands, too flustered to get out a word. 

They all freeze.  

“Mittens, we can exp--”

In a split second, Amity leaps forward, front kicking the diary to the back wall, away from the twins.

“Oh wow, overdramatic much A--” Emira starts.

“Get. Out. I heard it all, you came back to atone on Monday didn’t you? Don’t start up any new regrets, I thought you were better than this, more mature.”

“But--”

“Leave, I’ll accept your apology later...maybe”

The twins trail out like dogs with their tails between their legs. 

Amity turns to Luz, who looks a bit guilty.

“Hey...I think I misjudged you. I thought you were a bully, who just came here to be another demon or disaster, and kick me in the face. But… you stood up for me… thanks.”

Luz beams, “Of course I stood up for you. It’s super wrong to do that to someone, even your siblings. Oh! I also saw book 4 of Azura on your desk….I love love love that book series, it I must have read it about 100 times and I even have the DS game!” 

A hint of a smile sneaks its way onto Amity’s face, “Yes, Azura is awesome, I just love Hecate’s redemption arc, I really resonate with it for whatever reason.”

“Well...I actually have book 5, which… if you like… you could borrow sometime?”

“Hmmm… I might take you up on that after I’m done with book four…”

What does this girl want? What is she playing at?

“Okay! Oh um, I’m sorry for the whole ordeal. I got a bit caught up in wanting to impress your siblings because they just seemed so cool… I didn’t even think that someone would have to clean up the dragon, maybe I can help you with that right now?” 

Amity sees something rare in Luz’s eyes: genuine remorse. 

Maybe she isn’t a child after all, maybe there is something more to this ruthless idealism.

“Sounds good, let’s go clean up the dragon guts.”

Luz giggles. In the low light colored light, her eyes seem to glow with molten gold and little dimples appear at the corners of her mouth. After noticing this, Amity thinks that she may be kind of pretty… 

No I don’t, she just looks like any other girl. 

“Woo hoo dragon guts. Speaking of dragons, what do you think about the battle scene when Azura faces off against the great serpent of chaos…”

“I really liked it…”

“What about it?”

Because I wish chaos was something I could fight and kill.

“I think the action, it reminds me of real life fights.”

***

The dinner table at the Blight family manor is long, black and pristine. A white table cloth with frills blankets the dyed wood. Each dinner means fine porcelain, many tiny forks, and mother Blight scolding someone for their imperfect posture.

Tonight Amity’s stomach rumbles. Roshushana, the day of atonement, was always her least favorite holiday.

“Before we feast, you children must say what they’ve repented for today.” Alador, her father commands in a smooth voice.

“I repented for all the times I’ve pranked Amity,” Emira starts, looking uncharacteristically solemn.

“Me too, just all the times we weren’t the best siblings,” Edric finishes. 

That’s an easy way out.

“Amity?” Her mother asks, looking on from the head of the table.

She breathes in deep, “I repent for the quiz I got a 93 on, the fact I gave up on pushups before I finished yesterday with Lillith, and for failing to take down Boscha once last week…”

Miss Blight smiles, pleased with this answer. “It’s time to eat, bon appetite.”

They dig into their luxurious dinner of potatoes, veggies, and brisket.

Above all, I repent for all the girls which I’ve looked at in that way, the way I shouldn’t. Please forgive me G*d.

She sits up straight, and keeps her elbows off the table, and uses the right fork for the right purpose, but deep down she knows her excellence is all an act.