Why?
"[L/n]! Do you have a minute to help me carry my wood?”
“Sure Satoni-san! It’s no problem!”
The young man hurried to Satoni’s side after putting aside his tools, ready to help his neighbour. After all, the well-worn man had helped him out back when he moved into this town a year before, so he saw no reason not to return the favour. The afternoon sun was rough under the cloudless sky, but it didn’t take long for the wood to be put away.
“Thanks! With that, I should be all set for winter!” Satoni gave a hearty pat on [Y/n]’s back. “As a thanks, why don’t you eat at my place tonight? I’m sure my daughters will be very happy to see you again! Shizuku has taken a liking to you, you know?”
The young man tensed up, quickly finding an excuse: “I appreciate the offer, but… I have to go hunting tonight, so I’ll be eating out.”
“Ah, the life of a hunter… I miss the days I was able to track rabbits!” Satoni let out a hearty laugh, “well, our door is always open to you!”
“Of course, thanks a lot.” [Y/n] smiled, “I should finish up my work in the field, I’ll see you around.”
I entered my shed, the old wooden door shutting with a thump behind me. I sighed, looking down at my trembling hands. “That was a close call…” Looking up at my tools and grabbing the ones I needed, I headed back out. “I wouldn’t want to have to move away again.”
Satori-san’s a good man, I’m sure he just wants the best for me, and for his daughter. I’m the one who’s in the wrong here. If only I were normal…
Looking over at the field ahead of me, I got ready for work. If I wanted food on my plate this winter, I’d have to finish within the next week. Calloused hands, sweaty hair and sore arms were all part of my daily life out in the field. Once a week or so, I’d head out hunting, trying to get some meat as buying it would be too expensive.
It had only been five days since my last hunt, but I’d have to back up my lie if I didn’t want Satoni-san to feel insulted, or worse, suspicious. Grabbing my trusty hunting gear, I headed out as the sun started descending down the horizon.
One of Satoni’s daughters waved me goodbye as I passed their house, to which I nodded back politely. Shizuko was a nice girl, two years younger than me. She was to get married to her fiancé by the end of winter. A lovely couple, I wish them the best out there.
A trail detached from the main road, slithering into the forest. I followed it, admiring the small yellow flowers growing through the sparse spots of lights, the dense foliage above hiding the sun from most ground plants. Still, little plants managed to make their place through those giants, helping the ecosystem grow. The world works in such wondrous ways, take the time to look around is always worth it.
“This should be far enough,” I muttered to myself as I stopped in a clearing.
The early night was spent hunting, only taking a break once to eat a scarce dinner, whatever I had left from the day before. Still better than an evening trying to ignore advances…
I’ve thought of accepting a lady’s hand in marriage, I’ve been very close to doing so in the past. In the end, I had to refuse: I couldn’t bear lying to them, marrying them despite unrequited love…
“I should head back.” Two hares in hand, I figured it was enough for the week. “Maybe I’ll wash up a bit at the lake…”
The moon was bright, reflecting on the lake’s surface. There would be about two hours before midnight, and the next day would be spent working in the fields. As I washed up his face in the cold lake, the brisk water waking me up, I noticed a figure by the opposite shore.
“Is that… someone?” Hurrying onto my feet, I got closer, my game left behind. I had to make sure the person was alright; I could always hunt another time.
A man, mouth covered in bandages and wearing black clothing, laid still in the late-blooming Chinese bellflowers.
“Sir?” I quickly crouched next to him as I noticed the dark stain on his black clothes. “Sir, can you hear me?”
A groan was my only response, so I jumped into action. I had to help him. I carefully removed the clothes over the large stain, revealing a large gash that ran through his side. I breathed slowly, making sure to keep my calm: the last thing we needed right now was for me to lose my cool.
Looking down at my clothes, I figured I had no other choice than to cut up my haori. Buying a new one would cost a bit, but if it could help another person, I’d do it any day. I made strips of bandages, cutting through the fabric with my knife.
I placed a bundle of cloth over the gash and quickly bandaged around his torso, making sure not to injure him further. Once I was done, I picked him up, placing him onto my back.
Now I just had to make it home soon.
His wound had stopped bleeding after the first night, though I had barely slept. I was home by one in the morning, not being used to carry a person, and spent the rest of the early morning patching him up. Luckily, he seemed stable.
By the time I woke up, it was almost midday. I quickly checked up on the man before eating and heading out to the fields. There was nothing more I could do to help the man as he was asleep, and I was way too far from the doctor to visit him.
My neighbour said hi, and I retaliated before heading back to work. At the speed I was going, I wouldn’t be done harvesting in time. Nighttime came once more, yet the man showed no sign of waking up.
Figuring I should give him clean apparel, I did so (averting my gaze as much as I could, but wow, how can a person be so fit?) and changed his bandages. I also removed the ones covering his face, revealing a large scar that ran on both sides of his mouth. Just who was this man, and what incredible adventures had he gone through?
I understood and respected that he probably used the bandages to hide his mouth, so put them back on after cleaning them thoroughly.
The next day, I decided to go back into the forest. I just had to be quick, a fast run around the lake to see if I could find anything that could help me understand what had happened. Soon enough, I found my answer as I stepped further into the forest:
It was a battle. But against what?
Trees cut clean in half, claw marks all around the place. Blood, dry after over a day but still staining the ground red splattered around the place. A bear? There were none in these parts, and I doubted they could cut a tree in half.
Had the man done so? No, it must’ve been lumberjacks… even though they didn’t bring the wood back.
Strange, all of this was so strange, and I could find no logical explanation as to what had happened.
I scavenged around the place, looking for more clues. Lost between two large trees, hidden under some bushes, I found an unsheathed sword, the reflection of the sun against the metal having caught my eye.
As I crouched next to it, ready to pick it up, I noticed its strange shape. Were swords supposed to be this… wiggly?
Not thinking more of it, I reached for the lined purple handle: I might as well bring it home, even if it weren’t the man’s sword. It could always sell for a few thousand yens if I found someone willing to bargain.
Yet, before I could grab it, a snake slithered into the scene. I jumped back instinctively. A snake? There aren’t supposed to be any snakes in these woods.
The animal hissed before wrapping itself around the handle.
Well, what now? If it really were the man’s sword, I couldn’t bring it back because of the snake. Plus, why was it so protective of it?
Maybe… Maybe this was a stretch, but perhaps this little guy was the man’s pet? Still, I don’t know enough about snakes to know if this one is venomous…
Breath shaky, I let out, “Sorry little guy, I think I know the person this belongs to…”
Silence ensued.
“Would you mind… letting me bring it back to him?”
The white snake stared at me, its tongue sometimes escaping its mouth with a quiet hiss.
“Who am I kidding,” I placed a palm on my head, closing my eyes in disbelief, “Here I am, in the forest, talking to a snake. Oh, how far I’ve fallen…”
I let my arm drop onto my lap before sighing and standing back up. “Well, hopefully, it wasn’t his,” I muttered before starting to walk away.
Yet, before I could walk forward, the snake was in front of me.
“Aargh!” I let out before I could stop myself. The snake slithered closer, “No, no, no! Sorry for getting close to your house Mr. Snake!”
I took a step back, but the animal was quicker. It curled around my leg, rapidly climbing.
“Oh god no, I’m too young to die…” I whimpered as I half-assed attempts to catch the snake, but I mean, how are you supposed to grab a snake without it biting you?
I reached for its head, unsure of how to proceed, but was horrified to see the slithery beast swiftly move from my upper thigh to my forearm.
Oh, no, no, no, it’s even closer to my neck now!
Reaching my arm out as far from my face as possible, I closed my eyes in fear as I waited for the inevitable: dying alone in the woods, strangled by a snake as a stranger laid in my bed. That sounded wrong, I meant a victim laid in my bed. No! That sounded even worse! I mean look at me, I’m so stupid, I’m way too young to die…
Wait, how am I not dead yet. Peeking with one eye, I looked at my arm, seeing the snake staring at me, eyes unblinking. Right, snakes never blink, they don’t have eyelids. Then how can they see?
That doesn’t matter, why hasn’t the snake killed me yet?
Its tongue escaped its mouth once in a while. Isn’t this how they smell? Wait, can snakes smell fear? I think bears can. This isn’t the time for animal knowledge!
“Uh, are you going to kill me?”
It continued to stare at me for a minute before using its tail to point at the sword. The sword? Now it wants me to take the sword? Make up your mind you little bastard!
I crouched down slowly, keeping watch on the snake from the corner of my eye. It didn’t seem agitated this time as I reached for the handle. I picked the sword up and looked around for the sheath, eventually finding it close to the place where I first saw the man.
I placed the sword back into its sheath and then looked at the snake, expecting it to leave me alone now. I mean, he was basically holding me hostage by now.
It made no move to leave, so I assumed it wanted to come with me. I mean, what could go wrong with bringing a snake into your home other than the constant fear of being murdered?
As I arrived back at my house, I realized my “fast run around the lake” had taken three hours, only giving me until sundown to work in my fields.
I dropped off the sword (and the snake) in the house, making sure the animal didn’t attack the man before heading out. If I arrived back home to a dead body, I’d just have to hide all evidence of this handsome man existing, and then be in constant crisis for the rest of my life for assisted murder. Easy enough. Well, as long as the snake didn’t kill me next…
I came back home after painful hours of labour, barely having the energy to make myself a bowl of rice before heading to bed. I briefly checked on the man before dropping down onto my extra futon, exhausted.
My eyes were closing by themselves, the toll of the last few days taking a hit on me. I knew running from home would be hard, having to live on my own and make my own money and food, but why did it have to be this way?
Now I was in my house with a stranger (even if he was pretty handsome) and a snake, half of my crops harvested and barely any money to make it through winter.
Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
Everything hurt.
But I had to move. I couldn’t stay lying here in the forest, it was a wonder how I hadn’t died yet. I wonder how long I was asleep.
Has the ground always been so comfortable? I must be getting delusional, maybe I got a hit on the head during my fight with the demon.
I cracked an eye open, only to shut them back quickly. Stupid sun, why is it so bright?
I felt Kaburamaru move by my side, happy I woke up. I lifted my arm to pat his head, only to feel… covers? Was I in someone’s house?
Slowly opening my eyes, I ignored the splitting headache caused by the light. Did I have a concussion? I wouldn’t be surprised. I tried getting up, but a sharp pain in my stomach made me grunt and fall back onto the futon.
Kaburamaru looked at me with worry, but I couldn’t find it in myself to comfort him. I really messed up my last mission. Sure, I killed it, but the fact I allowed myself to get this injured is unbelievable.
Hearing soft snores, I turned my head, finally noticing a young man sleeping in a futon on the other side of the room.
He was probably the one who helped me out. He was sleeping on his side, an arm folded under his pillow while the other stretched outwards. His covers were all over the place, one of his legs sticking out from the side.
He seemed in his early twenties, a well-worn worker of some sort. Judging by his thick palm, I could only assume he worked in the fields.
The room was poorly decorated, only having a lamp in the corner. I could see some dust starting to accumulate near the edge of the room too, meaning he probably lived alone and didn’t have the time to do everything in the house.
Civilians do have it hard sometimes, mostly the farmers. But at that age, it’s a wonder why he hasn’t gotten married yet, mostly if he’s living alone.
His breath quickened up, meaning he was about to wake up. He sat up, stretching his arms lazily. The man probably hadn’t noticed me being awake yet.
“Exc-” a coughing fit interrupted me, my dry throat acting up.
His eyes snapped onto me, and I could’ve sworn I saw him jump from fear.
“Oh my god you’re awake,” He said in a single breath, attempting to stand up, only to trip on his covers. He clumsily caught himself, “I’ll uh— I’ll get some water!”
He left the room, feet thumping, saying over his shoulder “I’ll be right back!”
What a peculiar young man.
As promised, he came back a minute later with a cup and a bucket of water. He probably had to pump it outside, so I’m impressed he made it back so quick.
He helped me sit up, me reluctantly agreeing. If I wanted to get stronger, I should be able to get through any situation. What would I have done if I were alone in the forest right now? Would I have been weak enough to die?
There was no point mulling over it now. I just had to get stronger.
I slowly drank the water cup he handed me after lowering my facial bandage as he looked away politely, anxiously fiddling with his hands. “I can make rice?”
If he had wanted to kill me, he would’ve done it a long time ago. I nodded at him and he left the room in a hurry after letting out a “sure, of course!”
I drank some more water, situating my sword next to me, as I waited for my host to come back. It took a few minutes before he arrived, announcing the rice was cooking.
There was a brief silence before he asked: “So… how did you get hurt?”
“A demon.”
“Oh,” he blinked, confused, “Is that why you have a sword?”
“Yeah.”
Another paused ensued, and I hoped he would get the hint, but apparently, he didn’t as he continued, “What’s your name?”
“Iguro.”
“I’m [L/n] [Y/n]. I like your eyes!” A silence ensued, though they didn’t mind it and went on, “Is the snake yours?” his eyes drifted onto my companion, which retaliated by sticking out his tongue.
“His name is Kaburamaru.” I rubbed his head gently, “He’s been a friend of mine for quite some time now.”
“Kuburamuru?”
“No, Kaburamaru.”
“Oh. Well, he’s a good friend! He almost didn’t let me take the sword when I went back to fetch it.”
I hummed before [L/n] jumped up, suddenly remembering the rice was cooking.
We ate breakfast in silence before the young man excused himself, explaining he had to work in the fields as he still could. He came back briefly for lunch, bringing a few vegetables along with more rice, chatting about random nothings between bites. He noticed the bucket was almost empty, so he filled it with more water, then left once more.
The afternoon was as uneventful as the rest of the day, and while I tried many times, I realized I couldn’t get up yet due to my injury.
This was going to be a long recovery.
What an eventful day! It’s a shame I couldn’t spend more time with Iguro, but work had to be done in the fields before it was too late. I regret having to offer him such basic meals, but I didn’t have much food available. Perhaps I should ask Satoni-san for some, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind lending a hand. But, I wouldn’t want to bother him…
For tonight, I figured I should catch a few fish from the lake, so I left the fields in the late afternoon and headed into the forest. When I arrived back home, the snake (Kubaramuru?) slithered closer to greet me. I passed by my room to greet my guest before preparing dinner for us.
As the rice cooked, I prepared some tea, handing him a cup before heading back to the kitchen. The day had exhausted me. The work I had to complete overwhelmed me and having to care for someone was definitely tiering, though I didn’t regret the ladder. He seemed like such an interesting person, even though he didn’t speak much.
As the meal ended, I asked for permission to clean his wound, to which he accepted. While I’m sure his frown meant he was not very enthusiastic about it, the fact he allowed me to help was already a good thing.
As I finished wrapping his torso up, I quickly washed up before closing the lights, falling onto my futon and sleeping a dreamless night.
For the next few weeks, I continued to chat with him as much as he was willing to during my free time. Since I had finished gathering all I could from my fields, I now opted for more indoor activities, giving me more time to bother Iguro-san, much to his dismay.
Once in a while, I would leave the house to chop wood reserves for the winter or to hunt a better meal for my guest and myself. After the first week, he was now fully able to move around, though had to rest (or rather, I’d force him to rest). I admired his will to train, to get stronger, but I couldn’t let him burn himself out.
On the other side, he’d look out for me, too. He wouldn’t let me out after sundown, due to the possibility of demons, and he’d tell me to sit down for a while when I would come close to overworking myself.
It was a slow process, but I hoped to call him a friend. Sure, the butterflies in my stomach insisted that I wanted something more, but I drowned them in the happiness I felt to have someone my age to speak to. While Satoni’s daughters were nice, Shizuko’s fiancé would get angry at me if I tried having a normal conversation with her, while her father would make remarks if I spoke to any of his other children.
When around them, I couldn’t be myself. Being polite meant flirting. Being distant meant being rude, or worse, hard to get. My best option was to stay home, with the excuse of having work to do.
I did, once over the course of my visitor’s stay, go and eat dinner at their house, feeling bad to turn down their offer for the third time in a row. Iguro-Kun (whose first name I learned was Obanai) declined when I offered to come, saying he would make himself a meal.
During that dinner, I learned that Rei, the second eldest, had found herself a husband. I wished them best wishes, on one side glad I wasn’t a potential romantic interest for her in her father’s eyes, and on the other awkward towards the youngest, Sheki. She was five years younger than I, for kami-Sama’s sake! Plus, what good of a husband would I do? No money, no food on the table. Having to work for two mouths had me realize that.
I arrived back home that night to Iguro-Kun practicing in the courtyard, and I couldn’t help but stare, starstruck. He was moving so smoothly, so strongly! You could feel the power radiating off of him, an untouchable feeling. Yet, knowing a demon had managed to injure him, it couldn’t help but scare me a bit.
He continued his training for half an hour before calling it a night, nodding towards me as he went back in. I followed suit, noticing how cold my hands were. Winter would be here soon.
Another thing that Iguro-Kun opened up about in the following weeks was demons. Horrid, man-eating creatures that haunted the nights. He told me not to leave my house after dark to minimize the chances to meet one and to light up wisteria incent as the sun went down to keep them away from my home.
Sadly, no wisterias grew in my area nor could I afford to buy any, but I told him I’d keep this information in mind.
With demons came stories, tales of past fights. He refused to say much at first but eventually agreed to share a story when I mentioned a city where he had fought a demon. To think such things happened before our very eyes, yet nobody noticed… it was scary.
A month after Iguro had appeared into my life, he was fully healed. Despite the scar that would now paint his stomach forever, he had to leave, continue working and protecting normal people such as myself.
I made riceballs for his trip, giving him as much as I could. I followed him outside, a blanket over my shoulders (as my only haori had been ruined on the day we met) and the box of food in hand.
“Be careful, alright? Don’t forget to eat and sleep,” I fixed his uniform collar, “and come back and visit sometimes!”
He turned towards me, accepting the bento as Kuburumaru sniffed the box happily. The snake then moved from Iguro’s shoulders onto mine, his way of saying goodbye (I had to get used to it after a while of him doing it), before going back to its owner.
“Goodbye, [Y/n].” It was hard to tell if he was smiling, but I like to think he was, “I’ll be sure to come by sometimes.”
I grinned, waving him goodbye as he left. I could only hope he’d stay safe out there, as his job was one of the hardest out there. His figure slowly diminished as he walked further down the horizon until he finally disappeared from my vision.
Now, I could only hope he’d keep his promise.
Winter was harsh that year. Having to keep the house warm whilst going out into the snow to get some food when needed, this life of semi-seclusion was sometimes as much of a curse as it was a blessing. This year, due to my low harvest, it wasn’t worth going to the market to sell off my excess… not that we could call that an excess. Yet, nothing went to waste as I ended up eating everything, down until the last grain of rice, just as spring came along.
Throughout that time, I had gotten no news from Iguro. Had he been busy? Had he forgotten me? Did he get injured again, or worse? In my current situation, there was nothing I could do but wait.
One day, as I was planting the last remains of the vegetable sprouts I had slowly but steadily grown during the cold time of the year, I heard a crow’s cry. Again? When will they ever leave my poor crops alone?
Sighing, I headed towards the sound, prepared to shoo the bird as I often did throughout my days. Yet, before I could scare it away, it spoke up, scaring me out of my body. I jumped back as Japanese words came out of the creature’s mouth, falling flat onto my butt in surprise. Was this a prank? Was I so malnourished I had started hallucinating?
“Is this [L/n] [Y/n]?” barked the creature with a creaky voice.
I blinked, once, twice, before nodding hesitantly. It ruffled its feathers as if pleased with itself: “Message from Iguro Obanai for [L/n] [Y/n]! Please take the note attached to my leg!”
My eyes widened, both in shock and in delight. Iguro was fine, and he hadn’t forgotten about me! I approached the bird, slowly as if it would fly away any second, and crouched next to it in order to reach its leg.
It took me longer than I would care to admit untying the knot tying the baggage to the crow’s feet, yet after I did, I excitedly opened the letter.
[L/n] [Y/n],
I was planning on passing by, yet missions were keeping me busy until now. I will be passing by while heading to Ogawago, I hope you don’t mind. Kaburamaru has been missing you, you spoil him too much.
I will arrive tomorrow and spend the night over. I apologize for the short notice, but I will make sure to bring a meal for both of us.
Iguro Obanai.
One day?!? A grin etched my lips, I was going to see Iguro one day from now! But, my house was a mess, and I hadn’t washed my clothes in a week…
“May I ask you to send a letter back to him?” I asked the crow, ignoring the fact I was talking to a bird.
It didn’t reply, only eyeing the almost empty bag of sprouts I had by my side.
“I’ll give you the bag if you do?” Now, I had caught its attention. It jumped around excitedly and followed me as I headed into my house to write a message back. The crow pecked at its meal as my pen danced around the letter, and it didn’t take me long to finish the reply.
The crow took off, my letter safely attached with an equally annoying knot as the one I had gotten, and I headed to work. I was on schedule for my fieldwork, it was now time to take care of that spring cleaning I had been putting back!
Two hours and a lot of dust later, I was for the first time since I had arrived faced with a clean home. I went outside, leaving the doors and windows open to let out the last remains of the stuffy air from winter.
I went outside, taking a breather after those hours of hard labour. I’d go as far as to say this was more work than a day in the field, and my house was two rooms!
Lost in thoughts, I jumped when I heard Sheki greet me.
“Oh, hi, Satoni-chan!” I jumped out of my stupor, looking at the young lady.
She laughed, “Sorry for scaring you, and I told you you could just call me Sheki.” She sat next to me as I put away the pouch, deciding I’d figure out what to do later. She looked across my field, “you’ve been working hard. Have you finished planting your crops?”
I nodded, “It’s all ready. Now, I just have to make sure the crows don’t come by and ruin it all,” I chucked, and she followed suit.
“My father was wondering if you’d come over for dinner tomorrow, to congratulate Shizuko, as she and her husband are going to move out soon.”
Tomorrow? As in, ‘Iguro’s coming back’ tomorrow?
“I,” I paused, knowing this probably seemed very rude, “I’m so sorry, but I have a friend coming over tomorrow…”
She smiled understandingly, “It’s all right,” her face turned mischievous, as she leaned closer, whispering teasingly, “is it a girl?”
I let out a semi-awkward laugh, “no, no, my boy friend,” I froze, “not lover boyfriend, just, a friend that is a boy,” I laughed some more, hoping I’d be able to sell it off.
She snorted, “you didn’t have to explain yourself like that! Anyway, I’ll tell my dad you can’t come over. Though if you want, we could always try again next week!”
“Sure, awesome, that sounds great.” I nodded to her as she walked away as quietly as she arrived.
Why…. Am I like this?
Sighing, I got back up and headed inside to close the windows. After all, the nights were still cold by this time of the year, and the sun was starting to set. I’d wash the outfit I was wearing the next morning, the absent sun probably meaning it still wouldn’t be dry the next day anyway.
I decided to bathe and change into my second outfit as to not mess up the house and to have the clothes ready to be washed. After all, Iguro hadn’t specified when he’d arrive, and I wanted to, at least, be presentable by then.
With a small meal in my stomach, I headed off to bed, giving myself a mental reminder to at least go congratulate Shizuka and her husband in the morning. Then, I’d wash my clothes and hang them, and finally verify all is in order in the fields.
The next day went exactly as planned, and before I knew it, it was noon. Iguro had yet to arrive, not that I had expected him in the morning. If he were just passing by while heading to work, I doubted he’d waste his day rather than walk.
The afternoon ticked by slowly, and I had time to put away my clean clothes and shoo more crows away before the sky turned pink. By that time, I saw him.
Jogging closer and closer, his crow following from the sky, came Iguro. I grinned, raising my hand in the air to wave at him until he got here. In his hand, I could see him holding a package.
“Welcome back! It’s nice to see you again!”
Iguro nodded, raising the package higher as Kuburumura peeked from behind his shoulder, “As promised, I brought some food.”
“Wonderful! We should start cooking; you must be starving!” I grabbed everything, surprised by the weight, before heading inside. Meanwhile, the crow left us, heading East. “Come on, get in, it’s getting cold out here!”
He followed in, commenting “you cleaned up a bit.”
“Yeah,” I laughed awkwardly, “it was about time I did.” I opened the bag and separated the various ingredients into piles. “You got so much! I’ll make you a lunch for tomorrow too, then!”
He hummed, “Sure, I wasn’t sure what you’d like to eat so I brought various things. You can keep what we won’t use, I won’t have time to do anything with it.”
“Right! You ought to tell me how the previous months have been, I can’t imagine a life on the road. On my side, days are pretty much always the same,” I scratched my neck, “so I don’t have many stories to tell.”
Grabbing a few vegetables, I took them aside to wash them, “Oh, but Rei found a husband. And Shizuko’s moving out soon.” Iguro picked up the rice bag – much bigger than what you would buy for a two-person meal, though it seemed obvious he didn’t make his own meals often so he wouldn’t know – and moved to my side to wash it and prepare water to boil it in. Meanwhile, I moved along to start cutting the vegetables into smaller sizes. “Other than that… things have been pretty slow.”
He grunted, annoyed as he failed for the third time to light up the fire. I laughed, taking over the job, as he moved away to prepare the meat.
“You have been eating enough, right?” he sent a stare at my probably worryingly thin figure.
“Hehe, not my best winter but,” I started frying the vegetables, “I got some good meat from hunting at least.”
He sighed, “So you haven’t.”
“No- well yes but… this year will be better, I’m actually here to plant the crops in spring this time!” I sputtered back. “Also, don’t think I haven’t noticed that bandage under your left sleeve, you’re not subtle! You better let me take a look at the wound after dinner!”
“Don’t change the subject,” he handed me the cut-up pieces of meat, and I started seasoning them.
“You don’t change the subject!” I jokingly glared at him before grumbling, “It’s not like I could do anything about this winter anyway.”
He didn’t add anything to that.
A silence ensued for the following minutes, only for me to break it: “The rice is almost ready, I’ll add in the meat! Could you get some bowls for us?”
He did as I asked, Kubarumura sliding off his arm as he smelled the meat I was cooking. “Hey little guy,” I pet his head, “want some?”
I took an uncooked piece and cleaned the spices off of it, unsure if they were safe for snakes, before brandishing it before the animal. It swirled around happily before chomping down onto it in one continuous bite.
“I always forget how weird snakes eating is,” I commented before turning away from it and turning the cooking pieces of meat.
Going back to the stove, I grabbed the bowls Iguro had placed next to it and started serving our meals. I noticed his facial bandages were down, showing his scars, and decided not to comment on it. I was just glad he was comfortable enough around me to do so, it would be rude to say anything.
“Here you go,” I placed his portion in front of him and sat on the other side of the table, facing him.
“Thanks for the meal,” he said before digging in. I followed suit, taking a bigger bite than I should’ve (I mean it smelled so good!) and realizing I’d be chewing on it for a while. Iguro was looking down at his bowl, looking thoughtful.
“I…” he paused, hesitant to continue, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that.” I tried chewing quicker so I could reply, but man, that bite was big… “It probably seemed very rude, or more… disrespectful, as I know life is hard out here. I meant to say I was worried, not… not disappointed or anything.”
I needed some water to get this bite through, this wasn’t going to make it. I grabbed a cup from the table and dunked it into the nearby water bucket, almost choking as I forced the under chewed food through.
“It’s fine” I coughed, “Oh boy that went down the wrong pipe.” I reached for my cup once more, trying to reach for my cup only to realize it was empty. Iguro was quick to notice, reaching for his own cup, filling it and handing it over.
Between half-assed attempts to attenuate my coughing, I emptied the cup. Breathing in and out, tears in my eyes, I said: “So as I was saying, it’s fine, I didn’t take it the wrong way.”
Iguro was frowning, but I wasn’t sure if he were still worried I could die any second or because of my reply. Either way, he settled down, “If you say so… but please take smaller bites.”
I laughed, a cough hiding in there somewhere, “I think I learned my lesson!”
He rolled his eyes, and we finished our meals in a comfortable chit-chat about random nothings. I brewed us some tea (half-hoping it would help my throat hurt a bit less) and he spent the early evening telling me stories of his winter while I took care of his arm.
Battles he had against creatures I had only heard of in legends, with powers beyond what seems possible. Through his stories, I had learned a lot about these monsters: what they did, and how to kill them.
Of course, I had no intentions of joining the Demon Slaying Corporation: I was far too weak, physically and mentally, to do so. Plus, I had never really considered a life travelling around the land, and it didn’t seem like what I would enjoy doing.
Regardless, watching Iguro’s beautiful eyes (I still couldn’t get over those colours!) shine with that knowledge, with that power under the soft glow of the lantern fascinated me. It made me realize how much about the world I had yet to learn, everything I could discover… even if I didn’t experience it myself.
Seeing the stars starting to shine out the window, I called for bedtime. I wanted him to be in good shape tomorrow for his fight, after all.
I woke up to soft rays of sunshine, rubbing my eyes tiredly before turning to Iguro. He was still sleeping soundly, and, knowing he probably didn’t usually get to rest much, I decided not to bother him.
Kuburumaru, who was loosely curled up around my arm, woke up as I pet his head. “Hey little guy,” I whispered, “do you want to help me make Iguro a lunch?”
He moved onto my shoulders, and I assumed he agreed to it. I moved as quietly as I could to the main room, starting to prepare food for both a bento and breakfast. Once in a while, I’d have to prevent Kaburamaru from snatching snacks, though I did let some of them slide.
Soon after I finished making rice balls, Iguro walked in, his haori back on. “I wasn’t sure when you’d leave, so I made everything already.”
He nodded, taking a seat and waiting for me to join him. I finished putting the kettle over the fire and sat, grabbing a bowl and my chopsticks.
“It looks good,” he said after our usual “Itadakimasu.”
“Thanks! You brought a lot of fruits, so I managed to make interesting combinations.”
Once my plate was full of various parts of the meals from the table, I dug in.
“Oh! And I plan on making jam with the extra strawberries, it should be amazing!”
“It sounds great. I’ll come by to taste it sometimes,” he took a bite of fish, commenting on the taste.
He had to leave soon after breakfast, so I helped him prepare his stuff (not that he had much). I verified his arm one last time, ignoring him assuring me he was fine, before waving him off.
“You better come back soon!”
He waved back while walking away, rolling his eyes, “of course I will.”
It didn’t take long for him to be out of view, but I watched for as long as I could, a dumb smile on my face.
A dumb what?
“Oh no,” my eyes went wide, and I quickly walked back inside, folding onto myself with my hands over my red cheeks, “I definitely love him.”
For the last few months, I had been visiting [Y/n] whenever I could. He was better company than the Hashiras I was now apart of, and he always knew how to take my mind off what annoyed me.
He also always seemed so interested in everything I said, even if it was just one of my regular missions. He was always so… positive, it was a nice change of pace compared to most Demon Slayers I had to be around.
Barely the last time I came over, he gave me a Sakura flower pin he had made with threads, “for good luck on the battlefield.” It was such a silly thing to do, as if luck changed anything when in a fight, but I kept it regardless. It was a nice thought to have a friend cheering me on wherever I went.
I returned the favour by offering a new haori, remembering he didn’t have one when I first met him. I can’t believe he cried when I gave it to him, he was always so thankful for everything I did.
Now, I had a mission to finish in Yoshimakogyodanchi, so I could come by afterwards. He had made it clear he didn’t mind me dropping in without warning, though it had only once happened before on accident.
The night went by quickly: it was only a lesser demon, therefore not much of a challenge. I could make it to [Y/n]’s house within an hour, and though he was probably asleep by this time, he wouldn’t mind me stealing a futon for the night.
It didn’t take long for his house to come into view. I jogged closer, the weight of many sleepless nights weighing over my shoulders as it begged for some rest. My train of thought paused as I noticed the gaping door leading inside, bloodstains staining the ground, leading to the forest.
This couldn’t be, I would’ve been notified of a demon in the area, I had specifically asked Oyakata-Sama to do so! My legs moved before I registered it, and before I knew it I was in the forest.
Following the tracks of this demon was easy, broken branches and uneven foliage leading me straight back to the lake. The open space was dark as clouds hid the moon, but my eyes danced around, trying to find it. All I could hear was my heartbeat pumping in my ears.
There.
On the other side of the lake, I could see the creature crouching over a body. Hopefully, the body wasn’t [Y/n]’s, but if it weren’t, where was he?
Please, whoever’s up there. Don’t let [Y/n] be dead. He deserves better.
I leaped towards the demon in a swift jump, noticing it seemed to be held back by some force. A branch protruded from his shoulder, though it paid no mind to it.
Held back? Was [Y/n] alive?
As I approached the ground, I prepared my strike. And, in a single blow, the creature’s head was cut off. It turned into dust quickly, revealing [Y/n] with his arms still holding a thick branch he was probably fighting off the demon’s mouth with.
His arms fell back down, limp on his sides. I finally noticed the bleeding gash on his shoulder, along with the wound on his leg.
There was so much blood.
“Iguro?” he muttered tiredly as if about to slip through my grasp.
“Stay with me, [Y/n],” I crouched on his side, taking out the bandages I had with trembling hands, “you’re going to be alright.”
You have to be alright.
Kaburamaru, to my command, tightened around his leg to stop the bleeding. Meanwhile, I worked on his shoulder, hands working on their own.
“Thanks for coming,” he muttered as his eyes closed, “I knew you’d come.”
Just like that, he was out. I had to work quickly; I couldn’t let him die. He had done so much for me, he meant so much to me.
I realized how much of a wreck the demon had caused around his house as I stepped in, [Y/n] steady on my back. I stepped carefully around the broken furniture and items until I reached his room. In there, too, his futon was all over the place, torn corners and red stains on the fabric.
I pushed it aside with my foot, grabbing the spare bed and slowly placing it down before carefully peeling [Y/n] off my back and laying him onto it.
For now, there was nothing else I could do for him but wait. Carrying him to Shinobu’s estate would not only take far too long but also risk injuring him further during the trip.
Looking around the room, I settled on cleaning up, grabbing as quietly as I could everything we couldn’t recover and putting them away to eventually be gotten rid of. It took me until the first dash of sun outside to finish emptying the kitchen.
As I picked up things around the room, my heart would clench, thinking about how much of a fight he had been put through.
What if I had decided not to bother him, not to come?
Kaburamaru settled to keep watch on [Y/n], nestling on his pillow next to his ear.
What would I do if he had died?
The thought alone gave me vertigo, and I leaned onto the table before falling onto my knees. Had I become so dependant on him? He was just a friend, someone I knew I could trust, nothing more.
Did I want something more?
What a silly thought, what could we be more than friends? We’re both guys, men can’t be in love. Can they?
Can they?
How else would I explain these feelings I have, this pain to the idea of losing him? No, I was getting delusional. Lack of sleep and high emotions had taken a toll on me, and I needed to rest a bit to get my mind straight.
I looked at [Y/n] one last time, making sure he was stable, before laying onto the ground and waiting for sleep to take over, haori serving as a makeshift blanket.
I woke up to tumbling in the kitchen, not paying much mind to it. [Y/n] had probably dropped something again while making breakfast.
Wait, [Y/n]’s injured!
Eyes open wide, I looked to my side to see him sleeping peacefully, his chest going up and down with each breath, before getting up in a jump.
Who was in the kitchen?
I ran into the other room, opening the door with my sword in hand.
“You!” the girl blinked with a knife in her hand, and I recognized as one of the daughters of [Y/n]’s neighbour, “I thought a thief had snuck in!”
She sighed in relief and placed the knife onto the counter, though still seemed a bit wary.
“I took care of the issue yesterday, and [Y/n] is fine.” I let go of the handle of my sword, though I kept it in hand. “You can go now.”
“Is he really fine? There’s a lot of blood around…”
I sighed, “I tried to remove it yesterday, but wood gets stained too easily. You can see him for a moment, he got injured but he’s fine.”
She took a peek into the room, not wanting to step in front of me, but seemed relieved to see him breathing peacefully.
“Thanks for taking care of him!” She gave me a close-eyed smile before excusing herself.
As she reached for the door, I said, “are you seeing him? You seemed really worried for a neighbour.”
She laughed, “not in a romantic way, but he’s pretty much the only person close to my age I see in these parts. We have to look out for each other, you know?”
She exited the house, heading for her own after picking a strawberry from the small plant next to the entrance as she seemed used to doing.
What was that question?
Jealousy.
Could I really be jealous for someone of the same gender? In a romantic aspect?
What if it were the case?
I looked back at [Y/n], wondering if I would enjoy spending my life with him. Further than as a friend, but also kissing him, bringing him on dates and going beyond that.
Would I enjoy this?
This back and forth went on for the entire day as I tried to make myself meals, attempted for the second time to clean the blood off the floor and sent a letter to Oyatama-Sama requesting an undetermined break from my duties. Even if he refused, as much as I respected him, I wouldn’t listen to any mission given to me until [Y/n] had woken up.
In the end, I arrived at a conclusion: I would enjoy a romantic life on [Y/n]’s side. But would he?
The idea ate me away for the rest of the week. I trained, cleaned up [Y/n]’s wounds, got a bit better at not overcooking my food and agreed to have Sheki work in the fields in [Y/n]’s place (I didn’t know anything about growing plants, so I had few arguments to stop her), yet the thought of [Y/n] being revulsed by my attraction scared me.
I had fought and killed countless demons, I had seen people die before my eyes, yet never had I felt terror before this moment. I could accept him not liking me back: it was his decision, after all. But losing him altogether? Him hating me for who I like?
I didn’t know if I could take it.
All I could hear was the ringing in my ears. Where was I? Every time I tried opening my eyes, all I could see was bright white blinding me. My hand twitched, sending a wave of pain soaring through my shoulder.
I groaned, my throat begging for water. As the ringing started to alleviate, I started hearing a distant voice calling for my name. I tried opening my eyes a few more times until I was able to keep them open (even though I was squinting a lot). Through the blurriness, I saw a face surrounded by black locks, two distinct coloured eyes watching my movement.
I tried gulping, though my mouth was dry as a desert. Each cough made my body twist with pain, making me mentally beg for water.
Feeling something grab onto my back, pushing me upright, I offered no resistance – not that I could – and found myself sitting. The weight of my arm pulled onto my strained shoulder, but I ignored it as I felt the rim of a cup next to my lips.
It took me a long time to finish drinking to my fill, but Iguro was patient through it all.
“Thanks,” a raspy voice came out instead of my normal one, surprising me a bit as it happened.
“It’s no problem.”
I closed my eyes once more, fully leaning onto Iguro for support as I didn’t trust myself. I heard the soft thud of the cup reaching the ground before he slowly helped me into a laying position once more.
“How long has it been?” My eyes were slightly open so I could see him, but the light still blinded me a bit.
“Six days,” he sat more comfortably, Kubaramuru snuggling onto my side.
“Huh… no wonder I’m so sluggish,” I let out a raspy laugh. “Wait, six days? Why haven’t you gotten back to work yet? I thought you guys didn’t have holidays…”
He rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t going to leave you alone, injured like that.”
I hummed, “sure but you could’ve asked my neighbours…” He went to speak, but I continued, “but I’m glad you stayed. Thanks, Iguro.”
I gave him a smile, though he looked away.
“May I ask something?” He scratched his cheek.
“Of course!”
“I…” he paused, frowning at the wall, “how do I put this.”
Where was this going?
“You and I have been friends for a while now, and I really appreciate your company. You and I, well, I think we could…”
Kuburumaru (I should really learn his actual name) sent a deadpan stare towards Iguro, who sighed before flat out saying “I like you. Not in a ‘friend’ way but would like to have you as more than just a friend, but I do understand if you don’t feel the same way and respect tha-“
“I like you too!” Realizing what I had just said during the silence that ensued, my cheeks went red and I looked away bashfully. “I… I think you’re really cool and pretty and that you’re really caring in your own way and I really appreciate having you around.”
“You… you’re not weirded out by the fact I… we’re both men?” I looked back towards him, my stomach twisting as various emotions tried to take the lead in this situation. Happiness? Confusion? Embarrassment?
“I’ve always preferred men. Well, actually, I’ve never liked girls, to begin with…” I sent him a sheepish smile, and he scratched his cheek.
“I didn’t expect it to go this well…”
“Well, I didn’t expect this at all! But, I’m…” I moved my uninjured arm to reach for his hand, and he soon got the hint. “I’m really glad.”
We paused for a moment, during which I enjoyed how my hand fit in his. It was more calloused than I expected, proof of his well-worked swordsmanship.
“Sorry to break the moment, but…” my stomach grumbled, “I haven’t really eaten in a while…”
He got up in a quick jump, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot!”
I chuckled as he hurried into the kitchen. I could hear many sounds coming from there, ranging from cursing as he dropped a bowl (I recognize that sound from experience) to the intense sizzling of something getting cooked.
I could only hope he wouldn’t burn it…
A few minutes later, he walked back into the room, quickly placing the two bowls he was holding onto the ground to help me sit up. He moved me closer to the wall so I could lean onto it, and then placed my portion onto a small table sitting over my laps. Finally, he removed his bandages so he could eat properly.
“Will you stop staring at it, I didn’t poison it,” he grumbled before taking a bite.
“No, I’m just surprised this doesn’t look half bad. Last time I ate your cooking, the rice was way undercooked,” I took a bite of my own, noticing it was surprisingly tasty (even though he had gone a bit far with the spices).
He huffed, “you said it was fine!”
“I lied.”
He let out a dramatic offended gasp, making me laugh. A soft smile etched his lips.
A dumb smile! He definitely loves me back!
“I’m really happy,” I couldn’t help but say.
He blinked, “why?”
“I… I never thought anyone would like me back. Another guy I mean…” I looked to the side, placing my chopsticks onto my bowl. “The reason I live alone was because I had to leave my house in the first place. Because of who I like, you know? I wouldn’t have said anything if you didn’t say it first, I didn’t want anything… else to happen.”
“You had terrible parents,” he took a bite of rice, “it’s a good thing you don’t have them bothering you anymore. Plus, you’re doing pretty well on your own.”
“Thanks,” our eyes crossed paths, “it means a lot.”
His cheeks went red and he looked at Kuburamaru, “oh, shush and finish your meal. You need to rest more.”
I laughed, “yes, Iguro-san!”
“And call me Obanai, I mean if we are dating we should use first name basis.”
“Yes, Obanai-san!” I did a mock salute to which he rolled his eyes, and he helped me back down after we finished our meals.
“Goodnight, Obanai. I love you.” I held his hand to my heart, pressing it gently.
“I love you too, [Y/n].” Hearing my first name coming from him made my heart swell with joy.
“Can I have a kiss?” I poked my forehead, knowing it was too early for us to kiss on our lips.
He leaned down, his – surprisingly soft – lips pressing onto my forehead for an instant before he backed away, a soft smile on his lips.
“Thank you,” I gave him a close-eyed smile.
“Now, get some rest.”
For the first time in a long time, I slept soundly, knowing that if anyone discovered my sexuality, at least one person would have my back.