Eight Months

You had been pretty content your whole life knowing that you were going to spend it alone, that is, until you met Natasha Romanoff.

You were in a bar, hoping to have some fun when a beautiful red-head appeared, and you? You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her. Before long, the two of you were in a fully committed relationship and to be honest, you still couldn’t believe it was real.
That was six months ago. And you have seen her since.

She told you that she had a mission and she’d be back in a few weeks, but it’s been a lot longer than a few weeks and you had begun to worry. You knew that she worked for a secret government agency, but you didn’t know which one, and you sure as hell weren’t going to go looking. None of her coworkers even knew of your existence and you preferred to keep it that way. So you stayed in your shared apartment and you waited for your girlfriend to return.

Another two months passed, and still, nothing. It was like she had disappeared off the face of the Earth. You were starting to give up.

You were preparing dinner one Friday night when you heard the sound of a door unlocking. It was her, it had to be her, you just knew it. You dropped the knife you were using to cut vegetables and waited for the door to open. There she was. With two other people behind her.

“(Y/N).” Her voice was tired as she smiled at you.

“Tasha.” You said, trying to hide your own grin. As much as you were happy to see her, she’d been gone for eight months and you were angry.

“I hope it’s okay that I brought company. We need a place to lay low.”

“It’s fine.” You said, and your voice was the slightest bit cold. You went back to cutting your vegetables, resisting the urge to rush over and embrace her, as she brought her guests into the house.

“This is Clint, and that’s Steve. Steve, Clint, this is (Y/N).” She introduced and you nodded at the boys from behind the counter.
Natasha sent them off to shower and rest before making her way into the kitchen.

“You’re angry.” She said.

“Of course, I am. You were gone, without a word, for eight months!” Your voice raised a little.

“I know. And I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Are you? Because you just waltzed in here with two other people because you need to ‘lay low’! You’re not even here to see me.” You were almost yelling now.

“(Y/N), I know this is hard, but please be a little quieter, Clint’s a trained spy and Steve’s a super-soldier; I don’t want them to hear us.”

“Fine. But don’t think that I’m not angry with you.” You said, your voice quieter. You poured the vegetables into a giant bowl of pasta and did your best to mix them together. It was a good thing that you’d planned to eat this dinner for days, otherwise, there wouldn’t have been enough for you and the three other people who were now in your house.

“(Y/N),” She tried to talk to you as you set the table. “(Y/N), please listen to me. I want to explain.”

“I don’t need an explanation that’s not the truth and I seriously doubt that you can tell me the details of whatever operation has kept you away for so long.”

She sighed, “You’re right. I can’t tell you. But I want to, I hope you know that.”

“It’s fine.” You said, “I knew what I was getting into when I let you into my life.” There was a long pause.

“I was undercover for six months.” She said abruptly. “It wasn’t supposed to be that long but I got pulled too far in and there wasn’t a good way for me to exit. I can tell you that much.”

“And where were you the other two months?”

“Trying to hide from the organization that I infiltrated. I lost their tail in Canada and that’s how I was able to come to visit you but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay. I told the others that this was a safe house. I know that’s not an excuse for being away for so long, and I’m really sorry, I want to make it up to you when this is all over.” She said, her voice pleading. She took a step closer to you.

“Fine.” You said, trying to hold up your facade of anger. Her explanation had made you feel a little bit better about how long she’d been away, but you still weren’t happy.

“Go get the boys.” You said, pulling away, “I want to eat.”

She sighed before heading back to the hallway. You were torn. You wanted to be mad at her for leaving you, but you just found it so hard to stay mad at your Tasha, especially when she was doing everything that she could to get back in your good graces.

When she returned moments later, she had Clint and Steve in tow. You were already seated at the table and she sat down next to you, the boys sat across from you.

The meal was awkward, to say the least. Natasha was wary of angering you and Steve and Clint clearly had no idea what was going on...or who you were. You all ate in silence and when everyone was done, you got to work cleaning up. You really just wanted to go to bed. You cleared everyone’s plates and put them in the dishwasher. Both Natasha and Steve tried to help you but you refused. Natasha moved the boys to the couch and you cleaned up the kitchen. You could faintly hear their conversation.

“Who exactly is she?” You heard Clint ask.

“She’s my...girlfriend,” Natasha hesitated.

“Your girlfriend? I didn’t know you were-”

“Yes, my girlfriend.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as you made your way back the hallway and to your bedroom. You shut the door quietly. You leaned back against the door and shut your eyes, letting a tear escape the corner of your left eye. You stayed there for a few moments, letting more drops of salt water fall down your face. You put on your pajamas and climbed into bed, wiping your tears from your face.

After a while, you fell into an uncomfortable sleep. A little while later, your light sleep was interrupted when the door opened and Natasha tried her best (to no avail) to get ready for bed quietly. You were facing the opposite direction so she assumed you were asleep. To be fair, you had been until she’d interrupted. You felt a weight as she climbed into the bed next to you. She inched closer and wrapped her arm around you.

“(Y/N), I know you’re sleeping, and I know you’re mad at me, but I just…” She paused her whispering. “I’m really sorry. You have no idea how much I missed you and how much I wanted to come home and see you. I know you aren’t going to forgive me, you’re too stubborn for that, but I just want you to know that I love you more than anything in the whole world.”

She didn’t say anything more after that and you lay there in silence, letting her words sink in until you fell asleep, a comfortable deep sleep.

When you woke up in the morning, you were surprised to find Natasha still asleep next to you. Usually, she got up before you. You exited the bed and took a quick shower before heading downstairs to make yourself some breakfast.

You settled on the couch with a bowl of oatmeal and turned on the TV. It took a while before anyone else showed up and you enjoyed the solitude. When you heard someone padding into the living room, you assumed it was Natasha, but a quick glance revealed that it was Steve Rogers. You gave him a nod and told him he could have whatever he wanted for breakfast before getting up from the couch and heading to the table. You had some work to do so you pulled out your laptop and worked for a while.
When you were finished, there was still no sign of Natasha, but Clint had appeared. As soon as you closed your computer lid, he began to speak to you.

“So you’re Natasha’s secret girlfriend.”

“Yep, that’s me,” you replied, a sigh inching its way into your voice.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Uhhh, (y/f/c). Why?”

“Favorite animal?”

“(Y/f/a).”

He kept asking you questions, mostly ones that had to do with your interests. After a while he seemed satisfied with your answers.

“You have my approval.” He stated.

“She doesn’t need it.” You heard Natasha say from behind you.

“Well, she has it anyway.”

Natasha sighed, a smile on her face before heading over to the kitchen.

“What’s the plan, Cap?” She asked. “I know you’ve got to have at least some semblance of a plan by now.”

“I…don’t, actually. I know we can’t stay here long because they’ll find us, but other than that, I’ve got nothing.”

You sighed. You’d known that Natasha couldn’t stay long, but hearing it was still disappointing.

“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”

Natasha’s phone rang from its spot on the table next to you.

“Will you answer, that, (Y/N)?” She asked
.
“Sure.” You replied and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“You’re not Natasha, who are you?” The voice on the phone asked.

“Who’s asking?”

“Nick Fury.”

You looked at Natasha, “Who’s Nick Fury?”

“Oh shit, it’s Fury?” She rushed over and grabbed the phone from your hand before speedwalking down the hallway. A look of confusion found its way onto your face and Clint quickly explained that he was the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (which was apparently the name of the secret organization that Natasha worked for). You all waited for her to return to the living room and when she did, Clint and Steve looked at her expectantly.

“He just wanted an update.” She said. “Told us to get back to HQ as soon as we could.”

Your shoulders dropped a little but you picked them back up before she noticed, or at least you hoped she didn’t.

“I think we should stay here a few more days before we head out, just to be safe, if that’s good with you, (Y/N)?” Clint said. He had noticed your disappointment.

“That’s fine.” You said. “I’m gonna need to go to the grocery store.”

“I can go with you.” Natasha offered.

“I don’t-”

“Yeah, you should go with her, I can hold down the fort while you’re gone.” Clint said knowingly. It didn’t take much for him to read the situation between you and Natasha.

“Okay.”

You made a list of what you needed and before long, you and Natasha were stepping through the threshold of the grocery store.

“You have to decide at some point, you know.” She said as you veered toward the produce.

“Decide what?”

“Whether you’re angry with me or happy to see me.”

“What do you-”

“You’re really bad at hiding your emotions. I can read you without even trying. You have a right to be angry with me, I understand, but it’s okay for you to just be relieved that I’m back. I know I am.”

“I am relieved...I am! I’m also just a little upset that you went missing for so long.”

“I know,” she smiled a little and put her arm around you as the two of you made your way towards the dairy section. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled.

“Now, come on, we have some shopping to do.”

You left the store much happier than you had been when you arrived. You put everything away in the kitchen before flopping on the couch. Natasha followed suite.

The rest of the weekend passed smoothly and honestly, it felt amazing that Natasha was there. But Monday morning came and you left in the early hours of the morning, before anyone got up. After work, you were walking to your car when you felt something, or rather, someone, behind you. You tried to ignore it and walked a little bit faster towards your car. Just as you unlocked it, whoever was behind you got a little too close. Just as they were about to attack, someone else attacked. Attacked whoever had been following you. You turned to find Natasha taking down someone else that you didn’t recognize. As soon as she knocked him unconscious, she turned to you, “Get in the car.”

You jumped into the driver’s seat and started the car and she climbed into the passenger’s seat. “Drive. I’ll put an address into your phone.”

After she set up the address, she got Clint and Steve on the phone, “They found us. They tried to get (Y/N). There’s a Quinjet on the airfield south of town, meet us there now as soon as you can.”

You followed the directions and it didn’t take long for the two of you to arrive. You grabbed your bag and followed Natasha onto the jet. Not long after, Clint and Steve appeared on the jet. You took off merely moments later.

“Where are we going?” You finally asked after you were sure that Natasha was no longer so incredibly worked up over what had just happened.

“Headquarters.” Clint replied.

“Yeah, but where?”

“That’s classified.” He responded, “Sorry.”

No one spoke after that for a few hours. You really wanted Natasha to talk to you, to tell you that everything was okay and that everything was going to be okay. You were starting to freak out a little, to be honest. You were almost attacked and now you were being whisked away to who-knows-where. You just really wanted your girlfriend to give you some reassurance. But she was pretty clearly freaking out herself.

It was funny, you’d never actually seen Natasha freak out before--besides the time that she thought that she’d missed your birthday. But right now, you were pretty sure that she was almost more nervous than you were. So, you kept quiet and watched her until you landed.

When you felt the plane hit solid ground, you finally looked away from Natasha. Steve led the three of you to meet Fury in the main area. Natasha grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly.

“So this is the girlfriend.” Fury said as he saw you.

“Fury, (Y/N), (Y/N), Fury.” Natasha said quickly. “Do you have a lead on the guys who tracked us down?”

They began to talk spy-speak that you didn’t understand so you tuned the conversation out and took in your surroundings. There were a lot of people moving in every direction and it was kind of overwhelming to you.

After what seemed like an eternity, Natasha led you to a room that she stayed in when she was on the base and that the two of you would be sharing for the remainder of her stay.

“So this is where you live when you’re not at home.” You said.

“I hardly ever stay here, or even the same bed for more than a few nights.” She sighed.

“That’s not healthy, Nat.”

“I know, but it’s the job.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

“We’re gonna be stuck here for a while, though, or at least you will be, so you might as well get used to it.”

“I got it.”

You really didn’t know how long you were going to stay on the base, but it was starting to worry you how the people who were in your life at home were okay with your sudden absence around the end of the second week. You kept asking Natasha when you could go home and she kept telling you that you could go very soon. But soon hadn’t come yet and you were starting to wonder when it would, or if it would.

And you were anxious. You really didn’t like being in this place where you felt like you were always being watched, especially when you were keeping such a big secret from Natasha and everyone else in your life. Usually, it wasn’t that hard to keep, you had enough time by yourself. But you were getting restless and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep your powers a secret if you stayed here.

You found yourself spending more and more time in Natasha’s, and now your, room. She was gone so often on missions that she hardly noticed. Whenever Steve was around, he’d try to get you to do something, but usually, you’d decline politely.

Natasha had just left on a mission when you got a message that Fury wanted to see you. This was incredibly surprising as you hadn’t really seen the man other than your short introduction to him when you had arrived.

An agent showed up at the door not long after and led you to his office.

“Miss (Y/L/N), hello.” Fury said as you enter his office, “I have something to discuss with you.”

“Hello, Director Fury.”

“Drop the director, just Fury.” He stated, “But we have a much more pressing issue.” He sat down at the desk and so you sat down in one of the seats on the other side. “You.”

“Wha-what about me?”

“There is something that you’ve been hiding from us.”

“What are you talking about?” You did you’re best to bluff.

“Romanoff was right. It is incredibly easy to read you. I just can’t believe that she hasn’t found out that you have special abilities.”

“I don’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Miss (Y/L/N).”

You grasped for something that you could possibly say to convince him otherwise, but you came up with nothing. He pulled a file off of his desk and opened it.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), former student of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, has pyrokinetic abilities, originally from (Y/H/T)...” He kept reading but you didn’t need to hear the rest because you’d heard it before. You tuned back in when he started to talk about Charles Xavier.

“After I saw your file, I called the professor, he gave me a glowing review. Said you’d been a perfect student, and that you have almost perfect control over your powers.”

“Yeah, well, I was always one of Charles’s favorites.” You smiled a little at the thought.

“Why haven’t you told your girlfriend?”

“I...people don’t usually react well when I tell them.”

“And you didn’t think Natasha wouldn’t?”

“By the time I came to the decision that she wouldn’t, I figured she’d be angry with me for lying to her for so long. It was a lose-lose scenario.” You shrugged.

“If I found out this easily, don’t you think she could too?”

“Probably. If she were looking.”

“You’re saying that she won’t?”

“I’ve given her no reason to doubt me.”

“I’ve given her no reason to doubt me.” Natasha heard your voice through the door to Fury’s office. She had just returned from her mission and was ready to give Fury her mission report when she’d heard your voice coming from his office.

Well, now, you definitely had. She rushed away from the office and back to your shared room before you could leave the office and see her.

She’d never actually looked into your past at all. When she met you, she could tell that you weren’t lying about anything that you said so she figured that everything was fine. Apparently, that was not the case. She sat down in the chair in the corner and opened her laptop. She was going to figure out what you were keeping from her.

It really didn’t take long for her to figure out your secret. Your one secret. To be fair, every single other thing that you’d told her had been the truth. Everything but your secret abilities.

When you got back to your room, you didn’t expect to see your girlfriend there. You thought she was still out on a mission with too high of a level for you to hear even the smallest detail of it.

“Hey, you.” You smiled.

“Hey.” She didn’t look up from the computer she was staring at.

“How was the mission?” You asked.

“Fine.” She said.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.”

“You’re lying to me.”

She closed the laptop, “You lied to me first.”

“What are you talking about?” You questioned.

“You were talking with Fury today.” She started.

“Shit.” You muttered under your breath.

“I looked into your past. I don’t know why I didn’t sooner, I always do, with everyone I meet.” She was tearing up. You’d never seen Natasha cry. “I trusted you, I thought you were real. I never feel that way about anyone. And you lied to me.”

“Nat, I-”

“I was so worried when they almost got you, I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Nat-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I...well, it’s not exactly something that I advertise, people don’t usually take it well when I tell them. By the time I felt like you’d be okay with it, it was too late. I knew that you’d be angry with me for...withholding the truth, like you are now. I’m really really sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“I wouldn’t be so angry with you if you had told me. I had to find out for myself.”

“Nat, I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, but it doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me.”

Her phone buzzed. “I need to go speak to Fury.” She got up.

“Natasha, wait-” She rushed past you before you could finish.

“We’ll finish this later.” She said before she disappeared.

You stood there for a moment in some sort of shock. You screwed up. Bigtime. The worst part was that you hadn’t used your powers in even the slightest in a few weeks and when you didn’t use your powers, you started to get restless and your powers were a little less under control. You were torn between waiting for Natasha to return and trying to find a place that you could play with a little fire.

You decided just to wait for her. She did come back, after a while. She tried to ignore you for a moment.

“Nat, we need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Natasha, please.”

“What do you want to talk about? The fact that you betrayed my trust or the fact that you can manipulate fire?”

“Both.” You paused. “I really just want you to know that I didn’t intend to keep this from you. I never tell people at first, and by the time I knew you well enough, I knew that all I’d accomplish by telling you was hurt.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you lied. And that you hurt me”

There was a silent moment.

“Why does it seem that we’re always angry with each other?” You broke said silence.

“We live such different lives.” She shrugged. “It’s hard to find ways to connect.”

“I know, but I love you.”

“And I, you.”

“We just have to find our way to communicate.”

“And not lie to each other.”

“I told you that I’m sorry.” You sat down on the bed. “I’ll tell you what, ask me anything. I’ll tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

“Fine. How did you obtain said powers?”

“Same way everyone else who ends up at Xavier’s school.” You shrugged.

“Is this why you aren’t in contact with your family?”

“A combination of that and my attraction to women.”

“How strong are your abilities?”

“Strong enough.”

“Have you ever hurt anyone with them?”

“Now, you’re just doing a threat assessment.”

“I’m not doing a threat assessment. I’m asking questions.”

“Natasha, this isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time that someone does a threat assessment on me. That’s what comes with all of this. That’s how it goes.”

“I am.” She sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You paused. “Do you have any more questions?”

“Just one. Why have you been so jittery these past few days?”

“The longer I go without using them, the less control I have over them. Haven’t used them since we got here.”

“So you’ll be totally fine if you just let off a little steam?”

“I prefer to say, ‘play with fire’, but yeah, basically.”

“C’mon, I’ll show you where the training room is. But don’t think you’re off the hook for lying to me. You’ve still got a long way to go, (Y/L/N).”

“Fair enough.”

She led you to a floor that you hadn’t seen before and set you up in a room. But she didn’t leave afterwards like you assumed she would.

“You’re going to stay?”

“Well, of course, I want to see this ‘playing with fire’.”

“Just...be careful, okay?”

“I’m always careful.” A small smile appeared on her face.

You smiled back and then summoned a small flame in your palm. You let it grow little by little until your entire arm was covered in bright red and orange and you let it keep going. It didn’t take long for your entire body to be engulfed in fire.

It felt good to burn.

You played with your fire for a little longer before you collected it all into a little ball and blew it out. You turned to Natasha with a small smile on her face. You hoped that she had forgiven you, at least a little bit.

“So, uh, now what?” You asked.

“I’ve got another mission tonight, but I’m free until then. Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“Yes.” The smile on your face grew. As far as you could tell, she had forgiven you. The two of you walked hand in hand back to your room.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It was another week before you were allowed to return home. They’d taken out whatever enemy or threat that stood in the way of your return and now, you were free. Natasha was gone again. Apparently, this time, she had to go do some work at the Avengers Tower for a few days. She was supposed to be back by the end of the week, key word being “supposed”. Your relationship had almost returned completely back to normal, but you could still tell she was holding back.

You had just gotten back from a grocery run when Natasha made her return. You were about to greet her, but your phone began to ring. You attempted to pull it out of your pocket with arms full of grocery bags to no avail. You dropped bags on the counter and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, (Y/N), how are you?”

“Oh, Charles, hello!” You smiled, “I’m doing well. And you?”

Natasha approached the counter and began to put things away as you dropped your keys on the table by the door and locked it. You sat down on the couch and put your feet up on the coffee table.

“I’m also doing well, thank you. I just wanted to call and check in, it’s been a while. And I’ve gotten a lot of calls about you in the past few weeks. You didn’t tell me that your girlfriend is Natasha Romanoff!” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to. Who exactly has been calling you?” You were only aware that Fury had called him, not anyone else.

“Well, let’s see, there was Fury, and then Stark, and Natasha, of course.”

“Tony Stark? Why was he calling about me?”

“You’ll have to ask him that, won’t you?”

“You’re cruel.”

“I might be. So, how are you, really?”

“I’m doing great, honestly. I just got back to my apartment about a week ago after an extended stay on one of Fury’s helicarriers, and I’ve just been hanging out other than that. I don’t know, work, the usual, nothing exciting.”

“Huh. Have you spoken to Natasha yet?”

“No.” You were confused now. “No, she just got back from the Avengers Tower today. I haven’t even had a chance to tell her hello, you called just as I walked through the door.”

Natasha looked up at your mention of her. You could almost see panic in her face. Almost.

“Oh, well, I guess you should speak to her first.”

“Why?”

“I believe she has some news for you.”

“Okay…? Can we talk again later then?”

“Yes, of course, though I will be busy for the rest of the evening, could we speak again tomorrow?”

“Sure, whatever works for you, Charles, you can call me at any time tomorrow.” You were glad that the next day was Saturday. The two of you hung up and you turned to the girlfriend with suspicion written across your face.

“Is there something that you need to tell me?” You asked.

“What? No ‘hello’?”

“Sorry, hello, how are you? Did you have a good trip? What is it that you need to tell me?”

She sat down next to you on the couch. “So I was in New York, and I was talking with Fury and the others, and we, well mostly, they were wondering if you would um…” She trailed off for a moment.

“If I would what?”

“If you would want to join the Avengers?” She was nervous.

“Oh! Um, that is not what I expected.” You were taken a little aback.

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know.” You paused. “What do you think of all this?”

“I think you should make the decision that you want to make.”

“But…?”

“‘But’ nothing.”

“Natasha, I want to know what you think of this, I know you have an opinion on this.”

“I will always be afraid that you’ll get hurt, whether you’re an Avenger or not, and I think that you need to make this decision for yourself.” She said, thinking through every words she said before it came out of her mouth. “No matter how much I want to keep you safe, you need to know all of the pros and cons.”

“What are they?”

“Well, Fury is moving me to missions with the Avengers full time, so we’d get to spend more time together. And you’d have to move into the tower full time so I’d move into the tower full time too.”

“So those are both pros.” You said. “What are the cons?”

“Leaving your life here, leaving your job, all of that.”

“That’s not that big of a con, as far as I’m concerned. I’m not that attached to my life here.”

“So you’re going to accept the offer?”

“I guess. The pros obviously outweigh the cons.” You shrugged. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, so now what?”

“I call Fury and let him know, and then we pack up your apartment and call Stark to send a Quinjet. Then, we move you into to my apartment in the tower.”

“Okay.” You smiled. “We’ve got work to do, then, don’t we?”

The two of you got up from the couch and got to work.

You loaded your things onto the Quinjet three days later.

“Are you ready?” Your beautiful girlfriend asked from the pilot’s seat.

“Yeah,” you kissed her. “Let’s go.”