I had just got into bed, pulled the blankets up, and stared reading the texts she used to send me. I really miss her.
Who might calling right now?.
She is yelling over the noise of music and loud chatter in the background.
“I’m at Zenna and there’s this amazing jazzy,, ‘40s sort of band (but electronic) here playing. You should come!”
Elena, you know it’s not my thing,
“are you joking? It’s Saturday night. And it’s, like, two minutes after nine. It’s not even dark outside yet. You know, summer? Enjoying the weekend? Heard of those things?”
I don’t respond. She is, technically correct.
“Fine. God, I dont want to hear you complain about how bored you are. GET OUT OF BED. I dare you. Kenny is with me COME ON!”
I grit my teeth. She knows that I can’t ignore a challenge.
“Fine, I’m getting up. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. If I can find something to wear.”
“Wear a dress!”
But she has already hung up by the time I shout out her name. Going naked under a dress might be something Villanelle could do (and would do, actually) Why am I thinking about that?
It takes a little longer than fifteen minutes to find my classic black dress, fix my hair, and walk the few streets up to Soho and try to find that bar. It’s a beautiful warm night, and the setting summer sun is pink and orange in the sky to the west. All right, I think to myself, so coming out might have been a little of a good idea.
I’d wear my hair down. The way she thinks it looks great, but I’m always afraid it will just look messy. God I miss her. And going out with Elena and Kenny kissing each other constantly, and look all of the cute couples getting drunk, is sad, really. I want Oksana in my bed, now, at this moment.
I run my fingers through my hair. I miss her so much, but I have to stop thinking about her. She got married in Spain. With a rich woman and Im just here, working for Carolyn. I like my life now that im single. I enjoy my apartment, and Im fine with Niko being with Gema.
I have to admit that I’m grateful – in a strange way – that Elena and Kenny bother to call me to go out time to time.
“Eve you came!” I hear Elena voice over the music before I see her, and then she’s practically climbing through the arms and legs on the dance floor to get to me.
“Hi. So, you got me out here, are you going to buy us a drink now?”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
They drag me to the bar, order SIX shots of something, and hands me two of course.
“Bottoms up?” I say, hesitantly.
I lifts the glass to my lips and takes it in one swig.. Bad idea. The liquor hits the back of my throat and I instantly seize up into a cough, like fire all the way down into my lungs.
Kenny chuckles.
“Come on, I’ve got some friends at a table in the back. We can sit,” he says.
I shrug, and follow their lead, moving through the sweaty, bumping crowd of dancers.
Two hours later, I’ve made about a dozen new friends. I am having fun.
Eventually, they are whispering and looking very suspicious.
Kenny got this serious look on his face and guides me to the balcony. “Listen Eve, I know this will take you by surprise so I am just going to tell you Villanelle is here, and she wants to see you. Everybody knows, even Carolyn.”
“I can’t I just can’t see her I know I don't have self control with her and I can't back to that road again. I have to go.
Thank you for telling me.
“Eve, you need to listen. She is back for real. You are doing great and have team with my mom and everybody, but you don’t seem happy.
“Who says I want to be happy?” Please say Elena that I'll talk to her at the office ok?
I feel so stupid. I want to see her, but not here. She knows me better than this. Such an asshole.
Eve was shocked. With all this bullshit. So she goes to the loo to calm herself before leaving.
“I see you are wearing one of the dresses I sent you a long time ago. You look beautiful, Eve.”
“What are you doing here?”
Im here for you Eve. I know where to find you but I didn’t want to show at your place like the night I invited myself to have dinner with you. I want you to agree with this. We need to talk.
“What can I say? You want to talk now? and you think this is a better way to come back to me?”
So I talk about you a lot, I guess. I’ve missed you. and you shot me and you’re married. the more I can’t have you, the more I need you?”
I love you, Eve.
“Are you kidding?”
I don’t know what to say, so I just stay silent.I’m starting to feel like an idiot.
“I wanted to kiss you the first day I met you, Eve..”
“I am sad and empty and very sorry for everything I did to you.”
Im married, but I ran away. And Im alone. My mom died. Konstantin died.
So you’re alone and that’s why you want to see me.
I love you, Eve. And Im sorry.
I realise my hand has lifted to my mouth after she said ‘kiss.’ I lower my hand back into my lap as fast as I can.
“We can’t be here forever, Villanelle. Im leaving. Do you understand how confused and angry I feel?”
Can I go with you I'll stay quiet, Eve I just need to be in your presence.
I can tell by the look on her face she’s had a few drinks, and it’s likely causing her to be more honest than normal. Still, I do not understand what to say..
I realise suddenly that I’m getting aroused, that I’m pushing myself down against the hard flat surface of the chair under me as I ache.
“Oh god,” I say, under my breath.
Villanelle looks over.
“Oh god what?”
I shake my head.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
I just look at her.
“Eve, what? What are you thinking?”
I’m trying to find the right words, but my mouth just opens and closes a few times. Finally, I muster up the nerve to spit something out.
“Why didn’t you call me before? I was waiting for you after what happened in Rome”
“Eve, I kind of did. Like a million times. but you were angry, sad, and trying to get better. I know I was going to interrupt your healing process and now…I just want a chance to be close to you.
She’s still looking at me, waiting for an answer.
“I feel I wanted you kill you too,”
I know, beautiful. And I deserve it. I killed so many people, Eve.
Eve looks at her and quietly hold her tight. “lets go my girl”
They get to Eves apartment,.
I know you think you can do whatever you want with me but if you have changed;Understand that I am mad and broken and you can’t use sex to manipulate me.
“Eve we can just be around each other. We dont have to talk about everything tonight. And I can accept all your conditions. “
Even sensed genuine reciprocity. She noticed that for a long time, no one had made her feel so great. Apart from Kenny, but he’s not comparable at all with this. The distinction is an obvious romantic love. (With a trained assassin who tried to kill her)
Coming back to reality. For a few minutes, she relived the experience of touching her pale and smooth skin, smelling Villanelle’s perfume when she held her at the bathroom bar.
“God, I suddenly imagine her hands cupping my own breasts, squeezing”
It’s a chance for me to just sit and be quiet. Watch. Catch my brain up to my body. My mouth is dry, I can’t stop squeezing my legs together, and I can feel that I’m getting wet . Its so strange. It’s a massive contradiction. Im fighting because I want her and I love her. But I want to hurt her too. Not symbolically, I want to hurt her. But I love her and she is here.
I’m here now, Eve, and you are very much feeling me with you.
The two women laughed. They met eye to eye and hugged each other tightly. It feels so natural to hold each other like it never existed a wall between them.
I can’t stop looking at her mouth. and sneaking a look at her breasts. When she talks, she waves her hands around and I suddenly imagine her hands cupping my own breasts, squeezing, and her mouth coming down over my nipple, licking. Sucking. Moaning.
“I have to get a shower,” you can stay here, theres some wine and a bottle of champagne.
Shower. The image of Oksana in my shower, naked, wet, suddenly comes into my mind. . I don’t want to think about this, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
“Eve,”..
She catches up to me and comes around so she’s facing me.
I’m sorry. You really don’t want me here. You know me, I'm impulsive and say things. I don’t want you let me be here if you don’t want the same.
She looks at me, awaiting a response.
I mumble a sentence under my breath.
“I said: I am just going to a shower to calm down, but please let's stop talking about what we can’t change, please baby”
“Oh, ok. Well, that’s… good?
She looks at me again, no expression on her face for several seconds.
“Eve, are you sure?”
I take my shower, and it helps with the intrusive thoughts
I hesitate for a split second, then: “Yes. I’m sure. baby, I’m sure.”
The quiet in the apartment is almost shocking after the noise outside; the cars passing by, the clomping of our feet against the sidewalk, had all seemed so quiet, but now, behind the closed door, no longer moving, all I can hear is our hurried breath against the silence.
I lean back into the wall, looking down at my feet, hands behind me, feeling shyer than I can ever recall being before. It seems like an eternity before Oksana finally turns to me, slowly moving into place in front of me.
She ducks her head down a little to catch my eye, and puts her hand on my chin, tilting my face up towards her.
“Still sure, Eve?”
I can’t make my mouth work, so I just nod. Repeatedly,
Finally, I whisper, “Yes, I’m sure. For sure.”
She smiles a little, and looks into my eyes, like she’s double-checking to be certain one more time. That she’s taking her time with me, making sure that I am definite about wanting this, has me twice as aroused as I was before. She keeps just looking at me - her eyes roam over my face, down to my neck, and suddenly, I feel so impatient. I want to beg her to do something - anything - to me.
She leans in and kisses my forehead. The tip of my nose. The briefest kiss on my lips. One side of my jaw. Near my ear. To my neck. Down to my clavicle. Peppering kisses across my chest.
I moan and feel my body push into her.
“Please,”
Her hand comes up slowly, cups one breast, the faintest hint of a squeeze, like she’s testing the weight and feel of it in her hands. I feel her exhale, hot and damp, against my skin, and it makes me shiver.
“Jesus, Eve, you feel so good,” she says. “I want you so badly. I want… Fuck… I want this to be so good for you.”
“It already is,” I say, and arch my back. Pushing my breast deeper into her hand, a small moan escapes my mouth.
And that’ snaps Oksana restraint at last: my approval. My body pushing into her, my moan of pleasure – catching fire, fuelled by her years of imagining this moment.
She lifts her mouth to mine and kisses me deep, and her hands come up on either side of my face as her tongue slips into mine.
I feel new and foolish, like a teenager at my first dance, unsure of what to do. But it only takes a few seconds to catch the rhythm of her kiss, to match her tempo, to surrender my mouth to her tongue’s dance. I feel her breath against my lips, panting now, desperate.
Intuitively, my hips push forward towards her and wordlessly, without breaking the kiss at all, she pushes her knee forward and up, sliding it between my thighs, pushing the skirt of my dress up with it until the top of her knee is against the juncture of my thighs. Her knee is bare thanks to the shorts she’s wearing, and when the warmth of her skin pushes against my pants, my body jolts.
“Oh god,” I moan out, breaking the kiss. “
“, you’re so wet already. I can feel how wet you are,” she replies. She keeps pushing her knee up against me, and I let my weight shift to gain more pressure and traction against her leg.
She pulls open the buttons on the front of my dress, revealing my simple bra underneath. Her hand slips inside the dress, squeezing my breast again.
“Villanelle… I need… “I don’t know what I need, but I keep saying this, over and over, while rubbing myself against her. “I need… I need…”
She pulls her leg back suddenly, and for a moment, I’m alarmed – what’s wrong, what did I do? But she takes my hand and pulls me behind her down the hall, heading to my bedroom. When we get there, she turns me so I’m backing up against the bed, and I sit down on the edge
She puts her hands on either side of my face, stroking my hair
“Eve, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” she says. She leans over, kisses my forehead. “You smell so good. You smell perfect. Delicious. Amazing.”
As she’s talking, she’s nuzzling me until the challenge of holding myself up hits the tipping point, and I let myself fall backwards on the bed. I push back, scooting backwards across the bed to give her room, and she takes the cue, crawling up over me.
She kisses me again, and again, moving from my lips to my neck, to my eyes, and back to my lips over and over. She moves down slightly, her body over mine, and kisses along my shoulders to my chest. She pauses a moment, unbuttoning the rest of the buttons all the way down, opening it completely. Her mouth closes over one nipple, through my bra, sucks, and I almost scream from the feeling of it all. She stops, tucks a finger into the top edge of the bra, and pulls it down to expose my breast. She slowly licks all around my nipple, closing her warm mouth over it. I moan instantly. “Mys buck, pushing up against her, and I feel her hand move down between my legs”
It feels so good, I instinctively squeeze my eyes shut to focus as much as I can on it. She continues on for another minute, slowly licking and sucking. Suddenly, I feel her mouth open wide, sucking as much of my breast into her mouth as she can. My hips buck, pushing up against her, and I feel her hand move down between my legs.
My lower body is aching, and I can feel myself squirming, moving, pushing my hips up to meet her hand.
She lifts her head from my breast then, her lips wet and pink, and she watches my face as her hand presses between my legs.
“You like it, don’t you,” she says, her voice deeper, slower. “Yes,” I say, nodding, hypnotised.
I close my eyes, but she stops me. “No, keep your eyes open, Eve, I want to watch you.”
Kneeling on the bed, she moves to my side. Her legs are pressed up against me, her eyes pinned on mine, and her hand moving slow and lazy between my legs. I can feel the soft pressure of her fingers moving flat over sex, and I nudge my hips up into her. She leans over a little, looking away from my face to gaze down where she’s rubbing me. Her hand lifts off me, and I feel her finger tips take hold of the edge of my pants, and moving them to the side, expose me completely naked.
I hear her sharp intake of breath, her quiet “fuck, fuck, fuck” as she looks at me. I know I’m wet, and aroused. It seems to me I must be wetter than I ever have been. I am delirious on my arousal - drunk and dizzy and overwhelmed.
“Eve,” I say, and she looks back to my face. “Please.”
I realise I’ve said these words to her over and over, like I’m incapable of anything more.
“Please… Please, touch me… Please…” I say.
She needs no second request. Her fingers trail along my pussy, gently, slowly, softly, slipping between wet lips, opening me. I gasp, and my breathing grows faster, panting.
I feel her finger slipping deeper, looking for the spot to enter me, and when she finds it, her finger slips all the way, easily. The slick dragging feel is explosively good and my shoulders lift up off the bed.
She starts a slow rhythm, letting her finger slide in and out, and after a moment, she leans over me, her mouth so close I can feel the heat of her breath on me.
She pulls her finger out, and I lift on my elbows to look down at her – she puts her finger in her mouth, tasting me for the first time, and sucks it in and out a few times.
She looks up at me.
“Eve…” and then she drops her head down onto my pussy, mouth open, tongue flicking, slipping between my lips to find my clitoris, slow and wet all over me. Without stopping, she moves her body over mine, in between my legs, kneeling there over me. I let myself come down off my elbows and lay my head back. She licks and sucks, her mouth opening wide over me, playing with me. When she lifts her lips off to take a deeper breath, I instinctively put my hands down on her head and lift my hips back up.
She groans, a deep low growl in her throat, and my hands grip her head tighter, pushing her down. She starts licking me again, furiously now, desperate, fast, needing, and I feel a finger at my edge again – no, not a finger but two fingers – and she pushes them hard into me, until she’s as deep as she can go, her knuckles up against my lips. She keeps thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, the wet sound of her fingers fucking into me like a rhythm that she matches with her tongue on my clit.
“I’m going to cum, I’m going to – “and just like that, suddenly, without warning, I cum hard. My thighs close around her head, my hips buck up again and again and again against her face.
After what seems like minutes, I finally lay back, my legs open, my breath hitched.
She moves up alongside me, and kisses me gently.
I let one of my hands move over to her body, slipping between her legs and touching gently. Her eyebrows pop up and she looks over at me.
“Is it okay if I…”
I let the question trail off, nervous and uncertain again.
“Eve, anything you want to do is perfect for me
Can I say how much I love you? I want you more than the second I met you. More than the time we had dinner at your house and I help you unzip the dress I chose for you. And you were practically naked and that’s hot as hell and lovely.
I love you more than the moment I found you trashing my apartment in Paris, and you lay down next to me in my bed to stab me just before our first kiss. So rude! Excellent timing!
E: I love you more than the occasion I hired you to kill me.
V: Really? Tell me more, it’s exciting for me.
E: No. You shot me in Rome.
V: I thought we pass that Eve.
E: Yes, but that changed me… and somehow it leads us here. We can’t deny what happened.
A short but awkward silence between the two of them. A little distance. We cannot forget the violence.
V: I like it when you say “baby”… I want to be your baby.
E: You’re my baby already.
Villanelle hugged her again
Eve took the face of the stunning blonde in her hands. You are so beautiful, Baby. It’s incredible.
She tossed her onto the bed and kissed her hungrily, sticking her hips to Villanelle’s body. Humping and finding pleasure in it.
Eve is aroused, moved, excited, and frightened by her emotions.
Im nervous ok?! And mad as hell with myself for that.
Eve Paused and breathed.
E: And yes, I love every inch of you. My God! I never imagined being this open about my feelings for you.
V: I know that it will be hard to take you to feel secure with me but Eve, you’re more than perfect to me and you don’t have to do anything! Just hold me again ok?
E: Listen, baby. I realise I love you, you have known that long before, but I’m kissing you and it so good that feels fictitious. It is too much.
It is an emotional rollercoaster. Neither Villanelle nor Eve discerned how to be in the other’s presence without violence, without anger. .
V: It’s ok Beautiful. We can just hold each other. I just made love to you,.
V caressed Eve’s entire body with her body. Her breast, belly, and legs. She kissed her slowly, then fiercely, devouring every part of her. She went down on her once again because Eve tastes like heaven.
V: Beautiful...I can orgasm just licking at you. Her tongue was stimulating Eves’s clit was so swollen and delicious. Open your legs a little more for me Villanelle said. And she really was taking her time kissing and consuming her wetness.
V felt it was the time to fuck her with her tongue. To be inside of her.
Both were moaning louder than ever.
Baby come here said, Eve. Not used to feel this continuous pleasure.
But V knew that it wasn’t time yet and continued going with her tongue until Eve’s legs were shaking uncontrollably.
They were kissing with open mouth and so much tongue.
Oksana opened her legs to find Eve’s pussy. She moves and moves over her, Villanelle is so wet and Just LOVE how it feels her clit against Eves clit. It never felt so good.
V comes so hard. An overwhelming wave of ecstasy imprisoned her in. And she started again. It’s never going to be enough.
Eve, I love you.
I love you, Villanelle. I want you in my arms.
E: What are we going to do?
V: Just feel this baby. We will figure it out.
Eve gives little kisses all over Villanelle’s face and body.
E: I need and want to go down on you...please show me.
Eve sighed
V: Darling. This was wonderful. Do You have any idea how much I wanted to be between your legs? To hear you moan and give you pleasure? you will do whatever you want with me, baby, and I’ll love it.
But I wouldn’t change a bit of our first time.
Both were curled in a ball together. Again.
V: this is my favourite position. She said in a sleepy and sweet voice.
E: Mine, too.
Both women’s, nude, and wrapped into each other...
They forgot everything and everyone, and fall asleep.