Nothing More
Just the other day I looked at my father
It was the first time I saw he'd grown old
Canyons through his skin and the rivers that made them
Carved the stories I was told
--
Aden only has remnants of his other mother, Lexa. He can remember the softness of her hair, the kindness in her emerald gaze, the warmth of her body. That's as far as it goes. His mother, Clarke, loves to share stories of her beloved. The stories have been coming faster and closer together as of late.
Today is the first time he really noticed her age. He'd noticed the slow whitening of her hair and the deep lines carved into her face. She was nearing eighty, a feat not many have survived, but Clarke has always been youthful. It's not like her appearance had changed over night, he just never let the thought cross his mind. His mother was a warrior, she'd live forever, a naïve way of thinking, especially for someone with grandchildren of his own.
Today Aden really looked at his mother, realizing just how jaded she was becoming. Stories of Lexa growing in tandem a new one appearing nearly everyday. Clarke looked especially tired today, her eyelids drooping and head nodding. But Aden remained, ever vigilant, not daring to waste a second of their precious time together.
He'd let her nap after an especially difficult story. He'd been distracted when he felt the soft hands of his mother's over his own. He smiles, leaning forward to place a kiss to the top of her hand. She squeezes his hand, prompting him to gaze into her weary eyes.
"Son, I have watched you grow into a man your mother would have loved. I don't have much time left on this earth," Clarke says.
Aden's smile falters, a pang of hurt, heavy in his chest. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Don't say that mom," He says, cursing himself for the quiver in his voice.
Clarke squeezes his hand again, gently...
--
He said
"Son, I have watched you fade in
You will watch me fade out
I have watched you fade in
You will watch me fade out
When the grip leaves my hand
I know you won't let me down
--
When Clarke found she was pregnant, she was filled with overwhelming excitement. She bounced up and down with her mother until she made herself sick. Even through the vomiting she was content.
Dinner that evening was a quiet affair. The air was palpable, Clarke knew this wouldn't be the best time. Lexa was stressed from the growing tensions from the other clans. Sandegakru experienced their usual drought, finding it hard to grow food. Azgeda was ever defiant, refusing to trade with the other clans.
Later that night, they lie breathless and naked. Lexa closes her eyes, her fatigue of the day finally setting in. As her breathing starts to even out, Clarke rolls onto her side, throwing an arm around Lexa's waist. Lexa presses a kiss to Clarke's temple, a smile creeping across her face.
"Lexa?" Clarke asks.
"Hmm?" Lexa mumbles, sinking deeper into sleep.
"It worked."
Lexa chuckles, keeping her eyes closed, Clarke cryptic as ever. "What worked, Niron?"
"I'm pregnant." Clarke says, tilting her head to get a good look at Lexa's face.
Lexa stiffens but then a grin grows slowly, "That is good to know," Lexa says, trying to sound indifferent, but she can't hold back the smile.
Their lips meet again.
--
Go and find your way
Leave me in your wake
Always push through the pain
And don't run away from change
Never settle
Make your mark
Hold your head up
Follow your heart
Follow your heart"
--
Clarke smiles at Aden, who can't help but to smile back.
"What?" He asks.
Clarke shakes her head, smile never fading, "Your mother would be so proud of you. I'm so proud of you."
A lump grows in Aden's throat, he chokes it down and wipes a bitter tear away.
"Your mother was in love with you from the first time she saw you, she was so full of pride..." Clarke says trailing off.
She looks past Aden now, trying to remember the event that took place so long ago.
--
Just the other day I stared at the ocean
With every new wave another must go
One day you'll remember us laughing
One day you'll remember my passion
One day you'll have one of your own
--
Clarke's labor was long. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that the first bout of newborn cries entered the room. Clarke's chest heaved, from the aftershocks of the birth, having opted for a natural "grounder" labor.
At first there was no sound from the child. Abby and the Fisa's working desperately to get the blue baby to take a breath. Clarke could feel the angry bite of fear in the back of her throat. Lexa paced back and forth, with each passing second more dreadful than the next.
Finally he let out a wailing cry, the tension in the room dissipating. Both parent's eyes welled up at the sound. The baby was finally handed to a sweaty and tired Clarke. Lexa brushed a strand of sweat soaked hair away from her face, emerald eyes sparkling with the sight of their newborn. She places a kiss to Clarke's hair line.
Abby shows Clarke how to feed the new baby, Lexa can't help but to watch in wonder. Soft gaze and grin never leaving her face. Clarke looks up at Lexa when the baby finally latches, a tired smile upon her lips.
Abby and the Fisa have cleaned and cared for Clarke and the newborn, leaving the new family to themselves. Clarke pats the side of the bed and Lexa carefully joins her, Once seated, Clarke hands Aden over. Lexa cradles the baby close to her chest, sticking a finger into a tiny palm. Clarke leans against Lexa's shoulder, resting her eyes, just a minute she tells herself.
As she's drifting off she listens to the soft words of her wife. "Ai na protect Yu kom taim Ai las breath. Ai hod yu in."
--
I say
"Son, I have watched you fade in
You will watch me fade out
When the grip leaves my hand
I know you won't let me down
--
A tear trails down Clarke's cheek, the memory still fresh and painful.
"She made good on her promise," Clarke says in a whisper.
Aden wipes a stray tear from his face, then leans forward, "What promise was that?" He asks.
Clarke smiles again and she takes a shuddering breath.
"She protected you until her last breath," She looks at him, "She died rescuing you from Nia, Azgeda's wicked Queen."
--
Go and find your way
Leave me in your wake
Always push through the pain
And don't run away from change
Never settle
Make your mark
Hold your head up
Follow your heart
Follow your heart, follow your heart, follow your heart"
--
Aden knew this story well, he hated it, he hated seeing her so torn. He sometimes wonders if his mother blamed him. If he hadn't been captured, the love of her life would still be here, she wouldn't have had to live Fifty-eight years without her. But who's counting?
Today, something compels him to ask, "Do you blame me?"
Clarke looks at him, ever present crease in her brow detailed and defined. "For what?" She asks.
Aden swallows, throat bobbing, "For... For mom dying..." He chokes out.
Clarke sits up this time, placing both hands over his cheeks. She brushes away his tears with her thumbs, "Honey, no, I could never blame you."
--
We all get lost sometimes trying to find what we're looking for
We all get lost sometimes trying to find what we're looking for
I have watched you fade in
You will watch me fade out
I have watched you fade in
You will watch me fade out
When the grip leaves my hand
I know you won't let me down
Go and find your way
Leave me in your wake
Always push through the pain
And don't run away from change
--
Clarke was frozen from the news of Lexa's death, first her son, now her lover, She drops to her knees, unable to feel or hear anything. She lost everything to one evil bitch. Then she hears it, Aden's small cries as he's carried into the room. The toddler wrapped in his mother's shawl.
The funeral was a blur. Clarke was numb, Her face remained steeled and heavy, with every round of condolences given to her. She'd lost everything when she lost Lexa, uprooted from her home as the new commander reined, well, almost everything...
She pulled Aden's little body closer, She'd lost Lexa but she would be forever immortalized in Aden.
--
Never settle
Make your mark
Hold your head up
Follow your heart
Follow your heart
Follow your heart
--
Aden helps Clarke lean back in her bed. She grabs his hand tightly in her own, "Aden..."
He nods.
"I want you to know that no matter what path you take, your mother and I will be so proud of you. You've grown into such a great man. Ai hod yu in"
The tears flow freely at this. Clarke leans back in bed, closing her eyes, "I'm so tired," She says as her grip slackens in his hand.
--
When the morning comes and takes me
I promise I have taught you everything that you need
In the night you'll dream of so many things
But find the ones that bring you life, and you'll find me
--
Clarke opens her eyes, the sun warm against her face. The first thing she notices upon waking is how rested she feels. Her body is no longer aching or tired. She blinks, looking around her.
She rises from her bed of daisies and spins, taking in her surroundings. Still confused of where she is and how she got here. She looks at her hands, no longer wrinkled or blemished. Her heart races. Panic filling her veins. Until she hears the voice.
"Clarke"
Clarke spins on her heel, only for her breath to catch in her throat. Lexa. In all her glory, like the last time they saw each other. Clarke runs to her, squeezing her with every last ounce of energy.
"I missed you," Clarke says, a fresh trail of tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I told you I would always be with you." Lexa says.
Clarke pulls away to get a good look at her wife, then their lips meet for the first time in nearly sixty years. Their lips move together like no time has passed at all.
Finally they part, a smile on both of their faces, Lexa says, "Ai hod yu in, Clarke of the Sky People."
--
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me