Jackie Burkhart is not a lesbian, okay? She’s not. She shaves her legs and wears nail polish and dates men, she’s not a lesbian.
But. Well. That skank that stole her boyfriend is never wearing a bra, which Jackie can’t help but notice because hello? Is it cold in here? And she smells really wonderful, like lilac, and her hair is shiny, almost as shiny as Jackie’s, and well. Jackie can’t help but stare at her lips every time Laurie is insulting her. That’s another thing - Jackie loves fighting with Laurie. It’s the hottest foreplay she’s ever experienced, and she’s not even getting fucked at the end of it.
But none of this makes Jackie a lesbian or anything! God, can you imagine? Sure, she’s not interested in any guys currently, but can you blame her after what Michael put her through? No, she just hasn’t found the right guy (who’s like, super rich) to come sweep her away from this stupid little town. Jackie sometimes tries to imagine her dream husband, late at night tucked under the covers. She imagines someone slim, and soft, with good posture and clean fingernails. She imagines being kissed softly, and the smell of lilac overwhelming her senses. Inevitably she closes her eyes, and behind her eyelids she sees Laurie Forman, smirking at her in that bitchy way she always does. She forgets about the idealistic husband. She slips her hand inside her underwear, and she imagines it’s Laurie’s instead. She barely lasts 30 seconds before she’s cumming, whimpering Laurie’s name the whole time.
But she’s not a lesbian, okay? She’s not.