communicate
Azula twirled a rubber band around her finger and waited for Ty Lee to come over after she went to the gym. She knew Ty Lee was there with Suki which she tried not to be bothered about, after the gala Suki promised that she approved of the relationship as long as Azula didn't hurt Ty Lee. And I haven't hurt her at all, she's just been a pest recently with all her questions. Zuko walked out of the kitchen slouching as he clutched a bag of barbecue chips Yuck my least favorite.
"Why the long face Zuzu" Azula asked smiling. Zuko rolled his eyes "You make too much noise, your music didn't let me get any sleep last night" he groaned. Noticing his under eye bags Azula chuckled "I can't say I'm sorry brother, you know I do my homework better when there is music playing in the background".
Zuko flipped her off and headed back up the stairs which made Azula laugh. I bet Mai doesn't try and make Zuko open up all the time. But Azula knows that she's wrong, Mai always talks about Zuko's day with him.
Soon there's a knock on the door Ty Lee. Azula hurries to go unlock it and let her in, Ty Lee smiles weakly and steps inside. Her hair is messy because she didn't have time to braid it and she's flushed from her workout. She looks cute Azula leans in and kisses Ty Lee's cheek. "you reek go shower!" she laughs.
Ty Lee sets her bag down and hurries up the stairs, "Can you bring me a towel?" she shouts back down to Azula. "Ty Lee you don't need one!". But Azula goes to the laundry and restarts the drier so Ty Lee's towel will be warm when she gets out.
Azula goes to the kitchen and gets out some bread chicken and vegetables, she's going to make some sandwiches for Ty Lee and her to eat. After placing the last slice of bread on top of one of the sandwiches. Azula plates them and starts to head up the stairs. She sets the plates down on top of the drier and tucks the now hot towel under her arm.
Stumbling up the stairs while trying not to drop the sandwiches Azula is greeted by Zuko at the top level. He stands in the doorframe of his room and eyes the sandwiches. "If you're wondering whether I made you one or not, you will be disappointed" Azula says watching Zuko's face fall. He rolls his eyes before saying something else, "Azula how's Ty Lee? I don't know she just seems off" he asks. Azula quickly picks up on the concern in his voice and a feeling of dread sets over her.
"Why is someone at school bothering her, I'm sure if that was the case she'd tell me?" she says upset. Zuko shakes his head "Nobody at school is bothering her Azula, I just overhear your conversations sometimes and I wonder if you're truly listening to her concerns" He says carefully. To his dismay Azula doesn't take this accusation lightly.
"Are you saying I don't care about her or something, because I do and she knows that-" she starts clenching the plates harder. Zuko cuts her off before she can start yelling, "AZULA STOP, I'm just saying maybe you need to listen more. Relationships aren't always easy" he says softly.
Azula narrows her eyes "I know that and you shouldn't worry about mine, when yours isn't any better" she spits. Zuko furrows his brow "What are you talking about me and Mai are fine, at least we can communicate!" he has started to get defensive. Over the conversation, Azula shoves her way past him and into her own room. She hears the shower running and wonders if Ty Lee overheard her conversation with Zuko. She's fine, I don't see why she has anything to be upset about. I'll ask her later.
After putting the plates down on the desk Azula heads into the bathroom holding the warm towel. "Hey are you all done in there?" she asks careful not to look and invade Ty Lee's privacy. "Yup just a sec!" Ty Lee chirps as the water shuts off. She ducks her head out from behind the shower curtain "What's up?". Azula shrugs "nothing I just brought you a towel, it's warmed up" she says sheepishly still trying not to look. Ty Lee takes it happily and covers herself up before stepping out.
"thank you so much!" she says planting a quick kiss on Azula's shoulder. Nodding Azula watches as Ty Lee snatches Azula's hoodie from her closet, "ooo I like this one, mind if i borrow it?" Ty Lee asks. "No problem at all" Azula says following her girlfriend back into the bedroom. Ty Lee slips on the hoodie and digs through the drawer in Azula's dresser where she gets to keep some of her own clothes, so when she comes over she always has a change of clothes.
Once she's all dressed, Ty Lee uses the now damp towel for her hair, Azula smiles at how cute Ty Lee looks in her hoodie. She holds out a plate for Ty Lee who smiles widely at the sight of the sandwich. Ty Lee would tell me if something is making her upset? wouldn't she?
The two sit down to eat their meal and Azula keeps an eye on Ty lee. Waiting for her to say something that'll make whatever is bothering her clear. But she doesn't she just eats her sandwich and smiles every time she catches Azula's eye.
"So how was your day?" Azula asks quickly before taking another bite of her sandwich. "It was fine" Ty Lee says back, not meeting Azula's eye. She's not alright Azula stiffens up and sets her sandwich down. She's eager to cut to the chase and figure out exactly what's bothering her. "Ty Lee what's wrong with you? you seem off" Azula says sharply waiting for grey eyes to meet her own. Ty Lee looks up quickly, taken aback by the sudden question. "I'm okay..." she says quietly.
"Okay isn't good, I need to know what's bothering you" Azula says completely ignoring her sandwich now. Ty Lee hesitates before putting down her own sandwich. Why is she walking on eggshells around me? she knows I won't judge her so what is this? Azula waits her hands clasped together across her lap. And Ty Lee slouches a little, slightly intimidated by her girlfriends aggressive stance.
"Azula..please I'm just a little worn out from school, you don't need to worry" she says trying to calm her. Instead Azula's eyes glare right back, the gold in them almost burning.
"You're lying, you know I will listen to whatever is bothering you" she says growing tired of how vague Ty Lee is being. The light haired girl frowns "you..." she says softly before looking back down at her feet. Azula frowns her jaw sets and eyes widen in shock "What did I ever do to you?" she says louder than before. Ty Lee sighs in exasperation "Azula this is the problem! You're so defensive all the time" Ty Lee says her eyes tearing up.
"OF COURSE I'M DEFENSIVE, you clearly are bothered by me!" she shouts. Ty Lee rolls her eyes "Azula how are you so oblivious, I'm bothered by your inability to listen to what I need from you!" Ty Lee says "You just brush off every time I ask you to try a little bit more, to be better for me!" Ty Lee wipes a tear away quickly. Azula is still frowning and her arms are now crossed tightly over her chest "I'm always here to listen to how you are feeling!" she shouts.
"I appreciate that I do! but when I ask you to spend time with my friends a little more, you ignore it! When I beg you to try meeting my parents, you pretend you didn't hear me!" Ty Lee says now letting tears stream down her face. Azula purses her lips and shakes her head "You know how I feel about your friends Ty Lee..." she says looking away.
Ty Lee groans and rubs her temple "I Understand it's hard for you, but you don't even try and make an effort! It hurts me to know that you hate some of the people closest to me!" she cries.
"Because they don't like me, I don't need to put in an effort with them!"
"Azula they don't even know you!"
"Suki does!"
"why do you always have to bring her up?"
"Because I know how she feels about our relationship Ty Lee"
"You don't know half as much as you think you do about people"
Azula feels her chest tighten, she can't bear watching Ty Lee cry. But she wants me to do more than I can, more than I'm ready for. She looks back up at the cheerleader "Why didn't you voice these concerns earlier?" she says coldly. Ty Lee sniffles and wipes her eyes "b-because I was afraid you would react like this".
Azula nods and turns around facing her bed "I don't know what you want me to tell you.." she says swallowing the lump in her throat. Ty Lee puts a hand on Azula's cheek, turning her cheek so their eyes meet.
"I want you to try, for me. Because I can't be with someone who isn't willing to change for the better" she says softly. A tiny part of Ty Lee wishes she never spoke, that same part of her also wishes that Azula would just lean in and kiss this all away. But Azula doesn't, she stares back her face unreadable but her eyes burning gold. The two girls stare at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Realizing Azula won't say anything Ty Lee brings her hand back down to her side.
"I should go now, goodbye Azula" she says her voice shaky. Azula nods and picks the plates up from where they were eating. Ty Lee opens the bedroom door to leave wishing once again that Azula would say something, tell her that she would try to better things. But after a few seconds Ty Lee is once again hit with the realization that Azula can't and won't, at least not now. So Ty Lee decides to say something before leaving.
"I get that you may not be ready, if you aren't I worry that you and I aren't ready to be together either" Ty Lee says softly as another tear rolls slowly down her face. She heads down the stairs every part of her heart willing Azula to follow her down the stairs to hug her and promise to be better, to tell Ty Lee that she'd do it. Do it for her.
Azula waits in her room her mind running over every word Ty Lee said ten times. I'm not ready, she can't possibly expect me to do those things. Is what we have not even good enough for her? Does she need more than all of this? Azula wants Ty Lee to come back up the stairs and say sorry. But Azula knows that Ty Lee isn't in the wrong here, she shouldn't have to apologize for wanting Azula to meet her needs. But Azula can't meet those needs, and she doubts she ever will be able to.
She remembers after the gala when she and Ty Lee stood in the rain on Ty Lee's lawn. In that moment she told Ty Lee she was scared, worried that she'd hurt Ty Lee of that Ty Lee would hurt her. But she remembers what Ty Lee had said back "I believe you won't, I know you won't, and if you do then we can fix it". The memory hurts to remember, especially now. Because Azula had done it, she had hurt Ty Lee.
Now it's too late to kiss it away, or distract Ty Lee with a movie or a random joke. Ty Lee has left her house, and Azula feels like it's only a matter of time before Ty Lee leaves her. She feels an ache run through her body and she knows it's because of how heavy her heart feels right now. How much she just wants to kiss Ty Lee and play with her soft brown hair as Ty Lee rambles on about some show she watched. All of that was enough for Azula, and she's not sure why it wasn't enough for Ty Lee.
Maybe it was because Azula didn't have many friends, and her parents certainly couldn't meet Ty Lee. But the thought of meeting Ty Lee's parents made her stomach turn she couldn't bear it. And she wasn't going to try to either, she just needed what they had to be enough for Ty Lee. She hates this feeling, the feeling of helplessness that comes after fighting with someone. She doesn't want to feel it anymore. Azula wants to feel the warmth from whenever Ty Lee sits on her lap when they kiss. She wants to feel the butterflies whenever she hears Ty Lee giggle at some silly tv show. She wants to feel the comfort whenever she buries her head in Ty Lee's shoulder when she's tired.
She wants to feel what she felt a week ago, when they were in the starbucks parking lot listening to christmas music and Ty Lee's mouth tasted like the sugary coffee she had just sipped. Because in that moment Ty Lee and her had been fine, or so she thought. Because even then Ty Lee had started to talk to Azula about her rude behavior. Azula suddenly hears her mother's voice "This isn't right Azula, this has to change" Ursa's voice rang through her head. She gasped and turned around almost expecting to see her mother staring down at her disapprovingly. But there was nobody there, Azula was alone.