Chapter 3
Clarke Griffin spent the following weeks feeling like she was almost hiding happiness from herself, she would catch herself smiling and staring into the distance, cajoled and distracted by the last the time Lexa had kissed her. Lexa kissed her, quietly and sweetly behind the library before her math test. Lexa kissed her the shadows of her doorway, hard and desperate, almost like she was searching for something she could break between her fingertips.
She held these moments, like scribbled notes in the margins of her textbooks or her secret hopes for the future, against her chest, not quite ready to share them with world. She sensed, intuitively that Raven picked up on it, her stolen glances and sudden upswing in mood. Raven had always been able to notice the subtle shifts in Clarke’s life, the unspoken changes that took place between them before Clarke had the clarity to voice them.
Raven’s intuition was confirmed with stark clarity one afternoon at lunchtime.
Raven had been chatting to Clarke at their lockers, putting their books away when Finn Collins sauntered past and leaned against Clarke’s locker. Finn Collins, with his shaggy hair and cocky smile had been a diehard crush of Clarke’s all through early high school. They had dated, briefly, before Clarke had come to her senses. But he still took every opportunity to be friendly, walk her to class, flirt with her and fill her space his boyish antics.
“Hey Princess.” He said, smirking, his shoulder resting on her unopened locker.
“Hey Finn,” She said, monotone, resigned.
“You’ve seemed a little off lately.” He said, leaning further towards her. “…like you’re playing hard to get.”
Clarke sighed, exhausted. Her mind was lost in the lingering look Lexa had given her before she had left their science class and she no desire to entertain Finn’s fantasy.
“I’m not interested, Finn.” She said, pulling her bag over shoulders and edging further towards Raven.
Finn moved closer, his smile widening. “I know you’ve always liked me, Clarke. I’ve always liked our little game…” He said, grabbing her hip and pulling him closer towards her.
She let out a subtle groan, as she tried to push him off her. “No, Finn…”
Suddenly, things happened like lightening. She could usually sense Lexa before she saw her, like a smell on the air, a changing of season.
But before she knew what was happening, Lexa had appeared from nowhere. She had pinned Finn to Clarke’s locker, with a venomous rage that filled the hallway – electric and heaving.
She had pushed him against the locker with such rage, her voice barely audible. “She said she’s not interested, you asshole.”
Lexa Woods, usually resolute and stoic, was snarling against a pinned Finn Collins. She looked like she was about to kill him before John Murphy gently pulled at her shoulder.
“Come on Lexa, he’s not worth.”
“Attack her and you attack me,” Lexa said in a deathly whisper, before pushing Finn against the one more time, hard. “Leave her alone.” She added, her form undulating with fury as she stalked off with John at her side.
She shot Clarke a look before she turned the corner, desolate and pleading.
Finn looked terrified and gasped out a sorry Clarke before he scurried off away from the lockers. The whole hallways of students had looked on in shocked silence, but as Finn hurried away, the throngs of students started to move again, whispering together and looking at Clarke with bewildered and aghast expressions. Clarke stood rooted to the spot, panic rising in her chest, unable to quell the rising fear for Lexa in her chest.
Raven had looked from Clarke to Finn to Lexa during the whole debacle, as if she was watching some kind of championship sporting match. In the aftermath, she fixed Clarke with a raised eyebrow, “So…” She said, feigning nonchalance. “Lexa Woods, huh?”
Clarke could only nod mutely, still rooted to the spot. Clarke felt the lockers in the hallway and low hum of student chatter like feedback close in her around her, her chest tightening, her breath caught in her throat.
“Come on Griffin,” she said, pulling at Clarke’s hand. “We should probably talk.”
Clarke allowed herself to be led away by Raven to the rear of the library, a quiet corner under the wide shade of a sprawling eucalypt. Clarke could just out of the earshot, a low muttering of conversation and distinct snatches of her own name and Lexa Woods and Finn Collins.
Did you see Lexa Woods beat the shit out of Finn Collins by the lockers?
Finn was just talking to Clarke Griffin and Lexa just attacked out of nowhere. Lexa Woods is terrifying, she’s going to be in serious trouble this time.
He looked like he was about to piss himself. I don’t know, Finn Collins is a creep, he’s had it coming for a long time if you ask me.
Clarke put her head in her hands, trying to drown out the frantic whispering as the students sauntered off to class.
She looked up, Raven was fixing her with a curious expression, a little self-satisfied smile on the corner of her lips. “So,” She repeated. “Lexa Woods, huh?”
Clarke took a deep breath and sighed. “Yes, Raven. Lexa Woods.”
“When did this happen, Clarke?”
“It’s been a few weeks…I don’t know, Raven. I started seeing her when I was out walking some nights and we started talking…”
“Wow, Clarke,” Raven said sarcastically, “Lexa had a really intense reaction to Finn if you’ve just been talking…”
Clarke ignored her, “…then one night, she kissed me and I don’t know, Raven. It felt like…nothing I’ve ever felt before, real…it felt real…”
Raven expression had shifted from amusement to deep contemplation, her brow furrowed slightly as she took in everything Clarke was telling her.
“…I know she has reputation, but she’s different with me, she’s softer and sweet. She’s got it really hard, Raven…and she holds it all together…” Clarke let out a slow sob, putting her head I her hands again. She felt Raven pull her into a deep hug, as she cried into her shoulder.
“Wow, Clarke,” She said. “ I never thought I would hear the words soft and sweet used to describe Lexa Woods.”
Clarke pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes and let out a low heaving laugh. “Neither, to be honest. But I’ve had a crush on her for…”
“…so long, Clarke. You weren’t exactly subtle about it…” She laughed again, deep and throaty. “…don’t worry, Octavia didn’t notice, but she may now…”
Suddenly, Clarke remembered. Lexa. Word of the altercation with Finn would have made its way to the teachers by now and Lexa was already skating on thin ice at school. She felt her stomach lurch, guilt sliding down her throat into her gut, thick and warm.
“Fuck, Raven. Lexa. She’s going to be in so much trouble…”
Raven nodded, giving her a small smile. “Go, Griffin. I’ll tell Pike you’re going to be late to PE.”
****
Clarke could feel her heart hammering in her chest, cold sweat on the back of her palms as she tore through the schoolyard Principle Kane’s office. She didn’t exactly have a plan, but the thought of Lexa, her Lexa being expelled or kicked out of school filled her with a rising panic, her stomach churning as she ran through the now deserted administration building.
She got to the front of his office, Principal Kane’s secretary giving her a surprised look.
“Ms. Griffin? I’m sorry, the Principal is meeting with some students’ rights now. You’ll have to make an appointment…”
“Finn and Lexa?” She interrupted.
The secretary nodded imperceptibly, Clarke took this as her cue and burst through the door of Principal Kane’s office.
Clarke liked Principal Marcus Kane, he had been friends with her mother since before she was born. He was a diplomatic school administrator, and Clarke could often trust him to find a fair and pragmatic solution to a dispute between students. However, no matter how fair. She wasn’t sure how any teacher would respond well to her bursting into their office in the middle of a disciplinarian meeting.
She had been right, she caught Principal Kane mid-sentence talking to a self-satisfied Finn Collins and Lexa. Lexa’s green eyes betrayed no emotion, her jaw was set and her gaze was trained at the front of the room.
“…Clarke…” Kane said, bewildered. “I’m actually in the middle of..”
“…Principal Kane.” Clarke said, her voice low and urgent. “I was there when the altercation between Lexa and Finn occurred, it wasn’t what you think.”
Kane cleared his throat, his eyes moving from Lexa to Finn to Clarke.
“Thankyou Ms Griffin…I’ll be happy to talk to you after, I think I have a pretty clear picture of what occurred from Mr Collins.”
Damn Lexa, of course you didn’t say anything in your own defence.
“Finn grabbed me, sir….” Clarke interrupted, “He cornered me by the lockers. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and tried to grab me. Lexa witnessed it and was just trying to protect me…”
Principal Kane sighed and leaned back in his chair, he rubbed the stubble on his chin absentmindedly with the back of his hand, fixing Finn and Lexa with a beleaguered stare. He beckoned for Clarke to sit down on the empty chair near the side of his desk.
Clark sat, her heart still hammering in her chest. She she tried to shoot a side glance at Lexa whose gaze was still trained forward at the empty space between the window and the filing cabinets. It took every inch of her self-control to not reach out and lace her fingers around Lexa’s, gently untangling her balled up fists.
“Is this true, Ms Woods?” He asked Lexa.
Lexa nodded, very slightly. “Yes, Mr Kane.” She said under her breath, meeting his gaze.
“Mr Collins?” Principal Kane asked, his tone a little more severe.
The smile on Finn’s face had slowly faded. “Clarke and I often flirt and play around, sir. We have a history…”
“Did she tell you she wasn’t interested?” Kane continued, his gaze hardened on a squirming Finn Collins.
“Yes, but-“
“…and did you fail to leave her alone when she asked you too?”
Finn nodded again, the colour had drained from his face and was now an ashen grey colour.
“Did you then touch her without her consent, Mr Collins?”
Finn nodded again, opening his mouth to defend himself and then closing it again.
Principal Kane sighed, leaning back in his chair.
“We take sexual harassment at this school very seriously, Mr Collins. It is particularly disappointing as you did not divulge this information to me when I initially asked you what happened. I’m going to give you a week of detention. If I hear about anything similar occurring in the future, you will be suspended. You can go…”
Finn looked humiliated, he tried to make eye contact with Clarke who kept her eyes trained on Kane. He swung his bag over his shoulders and left the room, muttering something under his breath.
Kane now shifted his gaze to Lexa, his tone softened slightly as he addressed her.
“Ms Woods, I know you were only defending your friend. But similarly, violence against other students is not tolerated at this school and this isn’t your first offence. You will join Mr Collins for a week of detention. I hope you understand…”
Lexa nodded, relieved, the tension in her jaw loosening slightly. “Thankyou, Mr Kane.”
“Clarke and Lexa…” He said, laying his palms flat on the desk in front of himself, his voice lowered. “If something similar occurs, please talk to a teacher instead of resorting to violence…or taking it into your own hands. ”
“We will, thanks Mr Kane,” Clarke said, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her out of the office before he could say anything further. “Thanks for your understanding.”
Lexa allowed herself to be ushered from the office by Clarke and pulled out of the school administration building. She had been so sure that Clarke would be angry at her for attacking Finn Collins or that she was about to be expelled from school. Clarke had burst into Principal Kane’s office, her blue eyes ablaze and full of anger and somehow Lexa had only received a week of detention. She couldn’t remember a time when someone, anyone had come to her defence like that, especially not with the bull-headed stubborn defiance of Clarke Griffin.
Clarke led her to the small alcove behind the library, hidden from view by the low bricked walls and overgrown rhododendron bushes.
Lexa opened her mouth say something, apologise for attacking Finn or involving her in the trouble with Principal Kane.
Clarke kissed, open-mouthed and desperate. Lexa could feel the apology on her lips, the urgency in Clarke’s breath as she kissed her back. She felt the schoolyard melt away, pulling Clarke closer to her, the smell of her skin, and taste of her mouth, the feel of her body pressed against her torso.
“Clarke…” She said, pulling away and taking a deep shuddering breath.
“Lexa…” Clarke said, imitating Lexa’s serious tone.
“Clarke,” Lexa repeated, her face breaking into a small smile. “Are you alright…after…?” She said, gently pulled a strand of Clarke’s golden hairs behind her ears, stroking her cheek.
“I was fine, thanks to you.” Clarke fingers rubbed circles on the small of Lexa’s back, her forehead almost pressed against Lexa’s, sharing the same breath. “I was more worried about you…getting into trouble.”
“Thanks Clarke…” Lexa’s voice cracked slightly, as she pulled away slightly and avoided Clarke’s gaze. “I’m sorry I attacked Finn…I-“
“Finn’s an asshole, he had it coming…” Clarke pulled Lexa closer, meeting her gaze.
Lexa’s voice was quiet, and Clarke could feel her tremble slightly in her arms. “…I know it seems harsh, but violence has always been how I’ve survived…”
“Maybe life should about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?”
“Maybe we do…” Lexa said, kissing her. Clarke could feel the tension of Lexa’s body melt away, she could feel her heartbeat on her lips, the unspoken words between them. Finally, pulling away from the kiss she leaned her forehead against Lexa’s, a small smile on her lips.
“I think it may be difficult to keep our relationship a secret now…” Clarke said quietly, her hot breath on Lexa’s neck.
“Oh,” Lexa said quietly. “I didn’t even think of that.”
“Yeah, I think beating the shit of Finn Collins for touching me kind of reeks of…more than friends.” Clarke said, with a small laugh. She sensed the subtle shift in Lexa’s mood, the tightening of her shoulders, the quiver in her voice. “I’m not upset, Lexa. I don’t want to keep you a secret.”
Lexa smiled, her green eyes, the colour of sea glass, brightened. Lexa looked contemplative and as if she was about to say something, but the moment was interrupted by the bell.
“Lexa?” Clarke asked. Lexa shook her head, finding words unnecessary as Clarke tightened her grip on Lexa’s hand and led her out into the hordes of students travelling from one class to another. “Can I walk you to class?”
Clarke and Lexa walked hand in hand towards Lexa’s class on the east side of the campus. Clarke barely registered the low hum of excited chatter and intrigued looks they received from the rest of the student body, as Lexa rubbed small circles onto the back of her knuckles. She caught sight of a humiliated Finn Collins, his shoulders bent and a dejected look on his face as he walked to class.
Raven zig-zagged towards them on her way to her Advanced Calculus class. “Hey Lexa,” she said, giving her a firm nod as if she had always known about her and Clarke’s secret love affair. “All good with Kane?”
“One week of detention.” Lexa said, picking up on the unspoken cue. “It would have been worse if Clarke hadn’t…”
“Clarke loves to don the superhero cape…” Raven says with an air of mockery. “But, I’m glad it worked out. See you after class, Clarke?”
Clarke nodded, unable to hide a wide smile from Raven.
“By the way, Griffin.” Raven said in an undertone to Clarke. “Be prepared for a full-scale interview from Octavia regarding your relationship with Lexa...”
Clarke groaned as Raven gave her a pitying smile and disappeared into the crowd of students.
“See?” Clarke said, heaving reached Lexa’s classroom. “Cat’s out of the bag.”
“…who is the cat or the bag in this scenario, Clarke?”
Clarke laughed, ignored her comment and leaned in and kissed Lexa’s cheek, enjoying the stares and whispers of the rest of Lexa’s awaiting class. “You’re obviously the cat, Lexa.”
Lexa Woods, all dark leather and sharp cheekbones.
Lexa Woods, who beat up Finn Collins by the lockers.
Lexa Woods was dating Clarke Griffin.