I can't pretend
"Steve?"
"no"
"Brady?"
"no"
"Robert?"
Josie stopped what she was doing and turned around.
"seriously? Is that what you want to name our children? " they had been looking for boy names after Lizzie cast a spell on her sister to find out the gender of the babies. They discovered that they would have two boys.
Hope rolled her eyes. She was sure she had already said all the names in the baby book and they still hadn't found one that they agreed on.
"Well, choose one"
"Jackson?"
Hope thought of her stepfather and his tragic death.
"no"
Josie sighed.
"At this rate, when they are born, the only thing we’ll have decided will be Mikaelson"
"Mikaelson, huh?" Hope repeated, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face. She hadn't asked what last name she wanted the babies to have, deciding to wait until they had the names.
Josie just smiled, a little more pride in Hope and her head would get bigger, so she decided to keep looking at the baby clothes.
When they left the store 45 minutes later, Hope's arms were full of bags. Josie kept going through the list she made.
"All this and we still don't have a third of what we need"
"Well, there is still the baby shower or we can search online" Hope reminded her "Lizzie told me that you are resisting having the party"
"I don't feel ready for a party" admitted the brunette. "But I can try"
"I'm sure she’ll be happy to know that she finally has your cooperation" Hope smiled, as she put the bags in the car and opened the door for her. Then she slipped behind the wheel and made her way back to school.
"Everything will be fine, I think we'll have fun," Hope assured as she stopped at school and began to remove all the bags from the car.
They walked until they reached Hope's room, dropping the bags on the bed. The tribrid's cell phone rang, indicating a message.
"It's Lizzie, she wants to know if you’ll stay with me or will you go back to your room"
Josie hesitated. They had spent the whole day together and she wondered if the tribrid wanted to spend time alone. After all she had never been very social, she was more like a lone wolf.
"Yeah, I guess I should go, you're probably looking forward to some time alone."
"I want you to stay" Hope sat next to her on the bed and smiled at her surprised look. Hope knew she wouldn't have asked for that before Josie had become an important part of her life. Before, she probably would have given her the option and then she would be silent waiting for her to decide to stay, but somehow Josie made her bold. Always had.
"Then I'll stay" she said giving the girl a hug. They held each other for a moment. Josie relaxed. "this is good"
"Yes, it is," Hope agreed.
A light flapping made Josie pull away and look at Hope uncertainly. Then she felt it again.
"Hope"
"what?"
"I think the babies just moved." She smiled widely when she felt the slight movement once more. She took the other girl's hand and placed it on her stomach. "Do you feel that?"
Hope shook her head.
"No, nothing"
Josie saw her disappointment and tried to comfort her.
"Aunt Elena said it would take a while to feel the movements of the babies outside, maybe they aren’t big enough yet"
"Maybe" she agreed, until an idea came to her mind "get up".
Josie frowned, but did as the other girl asked. Hope pulled her to her, placing her ear against the brunette's belly. She closed her eyes and concentrated, shutting off everything else. First, she picked up the rapid heartbeat of the little ones and then, there it was, like a tiny earthquake, she heard the movements.
"There you are"
She couldn't help the proud smile that spread across her face when she looked at Josie, who was beaming at her. The tribrid stood and hugged Josie spinning her around.
"The babies moved"
Josie laughed.
"I know, Hope. I felt it"
Hope stopped moving and their smiles faded as they looked at each other. Somehow Josie's hands had found their way to the nape of the tribrid, stroking the hair there. Hugging each other like this, they could feel each other's breathing and Josie knew Hope could feel her heart moving frantically against hers.
Hope knew the right thing to do was to let her go before things went too far, but even as she thought about it, her arms tightened around her, unable to resist. Not with Josie so close, not with her hands playing with the hair at the back of her head sending shivers through her, not when she longed to know if she remembered exactly how her lips tasted. Her eyes fell on her mouth, she moved closer.
Josie held her breath, closing her eyes, expecting to meet the other girl.
The sound of a phone made them pull away, they opened their eyes and smiled sheepishly.
Hope took a step back. She shook her head and a sad smile pulled from her lips.
Josie hesitated looking for something to say.
"I should go see Lizzie and tell her the news about these little ones." She put her hand over her belly, turned and left the room.
Hope flopped onto the bed, closing her eyes.
"What am I going to do now?"
Hope's doing it again, Josie thought absently, as she sat on the gym watching Hope hit the box bag in front of her. Josie had seen the strength of her hands and knew she wasn't used much force when she hits the bag, but her biceps were still bulging with the effort. She bit the tip of her pencil, forcing herself to look away, trying to focus on the homework in front of her. She was struggling to ignore what was becoming increasingly difficult for her to deny: she, Josie Saltzman had a severe case of lust.
Her treacherous eyes immediately drifted once more to the girl, watching as her shirt lifted showing her toned abs.
It was the hormones, she reminded herself sternly. Just hormones, that was all. She had read pamphlets about it and knew this was part of being pregnant. Just because she hadn't sex in months… Hope leaned in to reveal a bit of her cleavage. Josie bit her lip to keep her from letting out a moan…. Okay many months, that didn't mean she had to fall in love with the first cute person who passed in front of her.
After feeling Josie’s eyes on her, Hope looked up and smiled at her, causing Josie to stop breathing. She looked at her like she was the only person in the world, how was she supposed to fight against that?
She smiled back at her, an invisible force squeezing her heart as she realized the problem was that she didn't want anyone, she wanted Hope.
It wasn't just because she was beautiful or that her body made any memory she had of someone else fade. It was the way she cared for her and the babies. It was the way she made her laugh or rubbed her back when it hurt. The way she tried so hard to make everything okay. Josie shook her head, scoffing at her own feelings. As if it wasn't bad enough to just want her body, then she had to go all the way and want something even more dangerous: her heart.
She sighed. She had no idea how Hope felt about her. Her situation was anything but normal. It wasn't as if their feelings had escalated after an unforgettable night or that they were even friends had turned each other for comfort. No, they had been the victims of suppressive inhibition slugs.
She laughed discouragingly. She was having babies with a girl, who for all intents and purposes had never even kissed. Not in a conscious way, at least. At first knowing that Hope would be there, that they could count on each other, was what they had both needed. Between her feelings for Penelope and Hope's bad breakup, they needed this. But it wasn't enough now, she wanted more, she wanted Hope.
But what she wanted was only half the equation, she couldn't ask Hope what she wanted. Although she wanted more with the auburn girl, she wouldn’t risk what she already had to get it. She needed her too much to lose her and she felt too vulnerable to risk rejection if she made the first move.
Her phone rang and she responded enthusiastically, grateful for the distraction.
"Hello?"
"Josie" Lizzie frowned, taken aback by the frantic sound of her sister's voice "Are you okay?"
She steps off the bleachers so she can stop looking at Hope. It was easier to focus on what Lizzie was saying that way.
"Yes, yes, everything is fine"
"Okay," Lizzie said. Her sister acted weirder every day and she could only blame the pregnancy "I just needed to tell you about some last minute details for the party"
Her attention was successfully diverted.
"What do you mean with last minute details? Yesterday was when I decided to have the party "
“And I've been trying to get you to pick a date all month,” the exasperated blonde reminded her, “I've already got most of it ready. The only thing missing was that you put a date "
"Did you invite the whole school?"
"Yes, I do"
"Do you think ... is going?" she had heard that Landon had broken up with the girl he was dating and now a rumour was circulating in the hallways that he wanted Hope back.
"I don't know Josie, but whatever happens between Wolfie and the Hobbit, you must be sure that she wouldn’t leave you alone with the babies, I wouldn’t let her" the blonde tried to joke.
Josie nodded, even though her sister couldn't see her.
"Yes I know. Hope would never leave her children "
Lizzie suddenly became concerned about how close her sister was becoming with Hope. She had a suspicion that Josie was developing feelings for the tribrid.
And although Hope seemed to have changed, she knew that in the end when Landon was in danger she would always run back to him. She didn't want her sister to be collateral damage to Hope's love life.
"dear sister, I'm sure the gnome doesn't ..."
“Lizzie” she interrupted “you don't have to cheer me up, ok? Hope is free to do whatever she wants "
"Josie ..."
"Listen, I have to go, we'll talk about the baby shower when we meet later, okay?"
"good"
Josie hung up the call and leaned against the bleachers, watching Hope pack up her things after training.
Hope would go back to Landon.
The idea made her heart ache and she looked away, knowing it was true. Hope would be there for the babies, she knew, but the closeness they had now would be gone. It would be with Landon who she would spend all her time with and she would fade into the background.
And what about her? She wondered, crossing her arms. What if I met someone? She knew that dating with the babies wouldn't be impossible, but it wouldn't be easy either. She tried to imagine how Hope would react to that. She wanted to believe that the tribrid would feel the same way she did when thinking of her and Landon together, but she didn't know. Hope had never been open with her feelings, so she had to guess.
Josie tried to imagine herself with someone other than Hope. She tries to imagine laughing with someone else, being close to someone else, other hands touching her. But her mind kept putting Hope in the place and she sighed, acknowledging the truth of it to herself. She didn't want someone else, just Hope. When had that changed? When Hope had become one of the most important people in her life, the one she wanted more than anyone else?
"you want me?"
Her heart jolted at her words.
"what?"
"What if you want to go to eat or are we going to spend time in my room?" she repeated intrigued by the panic in the brown eyes.
"Oh" Josie swallowed, trying to control herself "I think it was okay to go to your room"
"Okay" she nodded smiling at her.
They started to leave the gym when Josie turned to face Hope. She couldn't take this anymore. She had to know.
"There is actually something else"
"yes?"
"I need to know what the situation is between us"
The auburn girl’s brow furrowed.
"What do you mean by 'us'?"
Josie tried to calm down, she had little patience now.
"I mean what is our policy?"
"What policy?" Hope asked confused. Josie had been acting weird all day and now she was asking for things she didn't understand.
Still confused, Hope took a step closer, her hand taking the brunette's, knowing it all made more sense when she could feel her skin. She marvelled at how easy it was to touch her now.
"I thought we already had a policy, family above all"
Josie sighed. Every time she frustrated her, she did something too sweet that made it impossible to be mad at her.
"I mean, what are the rules when we talk about dating?"
"Oh" then Hope realized what Josie wanted to say, jealousy felt like acid in her stomach and her eyes turned gold for a few seconds. "Are you asking because you met someone?"
"No, I haven't met anyone!" exclaimed the brunette.
"So is Penelope?"
"No" and then her frustration had returned "but one day we’ll meet someone, and then what?"
She had to know if Landon asked her to come back, she would not be forgotten.
Hope shrugged, trying not to think of someone as close to Josie as she had been lately. The thought made her fists clench.
"I don't know; I guess we'll have to figure it out when it happens"
"wait and see? Is that your idea? " Josie could feel her anger rising along with her fear “I'm supposed to wait for the next person you rescue to show up, and then what? Hi, I'm Josie Saltzman, Hope's friend, ah! And also the mother of her children "
Hope could feel the control she had over her temper crumbling.
"I don't know, Josie. Maybe we'll have something figured out when the next bitch witch shows up at school and breaks your heart. "
"Oh yeah? At least I know what I want and I'm going after it” that was a lie and she knew it “I don't sit around waiting for it to magically come to me” she turned around ready to leave.
She hadn't taken a step when Hope's hand on her arm whirled her around. They looked at each other, their harsh breaths the only sounds in the empty gym. They were so close, so close that their bodies brushed against each other with each breath taken.
"I know what I want," Hope muttered, her hand releasing her arm to slide around Josie's waist, pulling her closer.
"Me too," Josie whispered. She was so tired of pretending she didn't know. Her hand pulled Hope's head, bringing their lips together. She felt her freeze, but when she was about to pull away, her arms wrapped around her and pulled her against her chest. Hope’s lips moved hungrily over hers, coaxing them open. Her gasp was lost as the tribrid's tongue entered, fighting softly against her.
When the need for air became overwhelming, Josie pulled back and reason returned along with oxygen. Wide-eyed, she looks at Hope.
The auburn girl looked at her, her chest as heaving as hers, her lips were swollen as she could feel hers. Hope said nothing and the terrible realization of what she had done hit her. They were standing on the other side of the line and she could now lose everything.
"I should be going"
Josie turned and ran, not stopping until she reached her room. She leans her trembling body against the door.
Lizzie looked at her from her bed.
"I thought you'd stay the rest of the afternoon with Fido, is everything okay?"
"Yes" she tries to smile while lying "everything is fine"