Lovebug Again

Chaeyoung's POV

If I could turn back the time or at least build a time machine that would allow me to time travel. I would go back to that day and asked you to stay.

Now maybe you were wondering why I am wishing to have that ability, and no, nobody die Maybe its the effect of the heavy rain that's why Im being sentimental or something like that, but who could blame me when I am here standing outside an appliances store both of my hands are on the window glass, and my full attention is on the huge tv display (that I cannot probably afford) watching a goddess on a tv show that most of the famous celebrities have been guesting. 

" So how does it feel to be the most in demand actress these days?"

I can't hear the interviewer's question properly so I put my face closer to the glass window as possible as I could. I guess the heavy rain has its own perks --- at least I wouldn't have to worry about people passing by, or so I thought because definitely those sales ladies are staring at me weirdly. Anyways back to what I am watching...

"Overwhelm! I never thought I would make this far. I guess I own it to my fans for always cheering at me. Gam-sa-ham-ni-da~" (shocks I am not familiar with korean)

She looks at the camera and gave the viewers a wink and then a flying kiss (with her heart shape lips) as a thank you. My heart beats faster because of how adorable and beautiful she looks. Even on tv she never failed to make my heart fluttered. I used to be the only one cheering for her though, the only one who could see how special she is, and the only one admiring her—but now? There's just too many of us. I'd like to think that I am different among those crowd of people she called "fans". That I am her bestfriend, and that I am, I don't know special? Like her special someone on a friendly term of course. But can I consider myself special? I mean looked at the place where I am now, the place where I am admiring her. How can I differentiate myself from her fans? She said, she would never forget me but its been 5 years already and still, not a single text message from her was sent to me. Sigh maybe I should have had conta–

"So~Ms Kim, I've heard from a source that you and Ms. Jenny Kim are exclusively dating. Is there a truth in it?"

Wow! This host sounds very professional for carefully asking private questions that wouldn't make the artist feels awkward, no wonder his tv show is famous. But what did he asked Jisoo again? She's dating? No way! And its Kim Jenny! Lisa's crush! I can't believe it. Anyways, she looks taken a back by the sudden question but immediately composes herself and confindently answered–

"Yes, we're exclusively dating"

I just stared at the screen when she said that. Its like the world is in slow motion just like in movies everytime the character witnessed or heard a big life changing revelation that is either good or bad. Its not about her words that made my heart ache and stop myself on breathing for a moment. Its about the way she looks while she answered the interviewer's follow up questions of "how has it been," or "how is she as a lover?" . She looks so happy while talking about her Jenny. She looks so inlove. I knew that this will happen but I never anticipated the level of pain it would cause me. I tried to sooth the pain by clutching my shirt that is infront of my heart. I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tear that was threatening to fall. I knew it was over for me already-no, there's nothing to be over about. I just shook my head and laugh sarcastically at myself over the realization. There's no chance to begin with, Im just her fan, that's all I'll ever be. 

"Wow! You two sounds very serious with your relationship"

"Of course we are~ there's no point on being in a relationship if the two of you are not comitted"

I smiled at her answer while looking at her softly. Jisoo, I can't believe it but you sounds so mature while answering the questions. Im proud of you though I wonder if you really were that matured haha, after all I knew that deep inside your perfection is a crackhead. I can't help but to let out a muffled laugh while I reminisce the past. Who would have thought that the seasonal actress Jisoo Kim has a 4D personality, that behind the celebrity they almost worshiped is a Jisoo who loves to eat chicken. Ahhh... This is not good Chaeng, you kept on remembering the past. You need to move on already just like how Jisoo Kim did. 

"One last question Ms Kim. Is Jenny Kim the one?"

I closed my eyes not because I might cry once again; I closed my eyes as a sign of acceptance. I'll accept no matter what her answer is, and take it as a sign to move on.

"I think she is; I really hope she is the one"

I took a one last glance on her beautiful face, I could see how happy and satisfied she is with her answer. Im happy for you as well Jisoo, being part of your life although for a short time was the happiest time of my life. Thank you for being such a good friend. Thank you for the good memories. Thank you for everything Jisoo but this is a goodbye. The rain has stopped completely from pouring; I started to walked away, not taking a single glance on her. Its time to head home Chaeng and its time to move on from the one and only Jisoo Kim.

"Hey Chipmunk! You missed the tv show!"

When I finally got home the first thing that greeted me was my annoying bestfriend/roomate Lalisa Manoban: also known as Lisa. Now my friend here didn't even have the audicity to greet me, talked about good manners here. 

"Im home Lisa"

"Oh? Welcome home chipmunk! So~ did you missed the show?"

Sigh... I just rolled my eyes at her. She kept on glancing on my way that it irritate me. Knowing that she had watched the so called tv show as well. I knew she wanted to tease me about it, and then talked about Jisoo and Jenny's relationship. For all I know, this walking stick would only bashed Jisoo right in front of my face.

" I didn't, I've watched it somewhere"

I removed my coat and Lisa took the groceries I've bought. We prepared our dinner and just as I thought that Lisa will drop the topic about Jisoo and that damn TV show, the walking stick brought it while we were eating at the table.

"What do you think about Kim Jisoo dating Jenny?"

She asked while she absentmindedly playing the food on her plate. I frown at her action but didn't reprimand her. I knew she has a crush-no a huge crush on Jenny Kim, if you asked me why is that, then all I could say is that Lisa always had the eyes for beauties. For her, Jenny Kim is the epitome of beauty. 

"huh?"

"I said–"

"Okay, I think its a good thing? They looked good together after all"

Lisa looked at me as if she's analyzing something and that she's trying to see through my soul. I moved my gaze away from her as she continuously stare at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought you would get hysterical when you found out your beloved Jisoo Kim started dating someone. Fans always do that you know"

I didn't get hysterical Lisa although I wished that would be the case for me because if that is, then it only means that my feelings for Jisoo is only admiration.

"Hey! Did you just insult me there! Im not her fan! I just think that her last drama had a good storyline."

I tried to divert the topic. Lisa has a very keen eyes when it comes to people especially their emotions. I guess that was the perks of being a photographer. A really annoying talent if you asked me.

"Last drama? Ha! You've been watching all her dramas and movies for the past years. You've even drag me one time just to watched her sappy movie!"

"Sappy movie? Excuse me! If Im a fan then you're a stalker"

Lisa's eyes widen by my accusation. You would think that we are having an argument but really this banter was normal for us, after all we're friends this is just a laughable matter for us. 

"Me? A stalker? Im not the one who's going on every fan meeting only to end up watching her favorite celebrity from a secluded area just like the stalker she is!"

I scoff by her accusation. That's not true, Im just shy to meet Jisoo so I settled on watching her.

"Im just admiring her from afar!" 

I defend

"Of course you are~"

"You bet I am–besides Im not the one who has a poster of the girl Im crushing in my room! And seriously Lalisa did you just put it above your bed on the ceiling? You know posters are meant to be put on the wall, right?"

"How did–"

I burst out on laughing when I saw how shock she is. That's right Lisa I saw your little secret in your room, now who's the stalker!

"Ehem! In my defense, I'm just admiring and appreciating Jenny"

I raised a brow at her in question. Really that's all?

" on my ceiling...."

She mumbled the last part that it almost escape my ears. I can no longer take it; I laughed hysterically and Lisa can only raised her hands in surrender. She probably realize that she's far more shameful than I am.

" Morning must have been good for you huh.... Imagine waking up first in the morning with a sexy Jenny Kim" I teased her non stop

"Alright, alright... Chipmunk you win this time" 

I gave her a triumpt smile and she just rolled her eyes at me. We silently eat our dinner again peacefully. I could see Lisa was still glancing at my way again, so I gave her a looked that was asking 'what's up'

"everything okay chipmunk?"

"sort of"

"is it about school?"

Sigh... I knew Lisa could see through me. I guess the diversion didn't worked huh. Not trusting myself if I could lie without her seeing through it, I just nod my head in answer. You see Lisa didn't know my history with Jisoo, or more like she completely forgot about it-well it's her fault, she didn't believe me that one time when I told her Jisoo and I used to be the best of friends. Its actually a blessings in disguise though, if she knows or remember my history with Jisoo then she can definitely connect the dots of my sudden behavior. She will be able to figure out my feelings for Jisoo and then conclude that I am currently broken hearted. She can be smart if she wanted to you know although most of the time she's not using her head.

"Yaaaa~ I told you not to push yourself. Looked chipmunk I know you wanted to be the best lawyer but you should enjoy yourself more. Geez if only you took music course then school would have been over for you already"

"Lisaaaa, not again"

I whine, I knew she was only concern about me so I didn't take it personally everytime she brought that topic. If anything, I should be thankful to her. Lisa and I knew each other way back in college, we were classmates and seatmates in this one subject. She was from a foreign country and so am I, eventhough I am a korean, Im not that familiar with the culture and laguage of this country; I blame that to Jisoo for not teaching me well. Lisa is even better than me in speaking korean language-trust me, you don't have any idea how smug and how hard she laugh that time when she found out. Ever since that day she and I became inseparable, she even insist on still living with me eventhough she graduated already and found a job of her own. She really is concern about me, she knows I couldn't afford living on my own in this apartment, and finding a new one is not an option for me. Lisa became the bestfriend I could lean on anytime, you could say that she's the one who replaced Jisoo's place in my life. She literally became my only family when my parents died.

"Hey chipmunk to earth"

I must have been spacing out again because Lisa is waving her hand in front of me just to get my attention.

"See I told you! You need to keept it easy Chaeng. All you do is study and do your part time jobs. Im just concern about you chipmunk, your course was stressful already; you need to take care of yourself more"

"okay okay—I'll take it easy. I promise, so get off my back already!"

I exclaim in english that made her laugh hysterically. This idiot! She knew I can't help but to speak in english whenever Im agitated, pressured, or in panic. She really is a weirdo, she even take pleasure on the fact that Im still having a hard time in speaking korean language. 

"shut up Lisa, you're not funny!" 

"are you sure you're a korean? Hahaha"

She kept on laughing that it irritate me, I gave her a glare but soon turned into pout.

" okay, I'll stop... Anyways I have a job offer for you at the studio" I raised a brow at her

"Ehh... didn't you asked me to take it easy and enjoy myself just a while ago? But now you wanted me to be your slave?"

"Geez of course not chipmunk. Who says I'll worked you to death? In fact you'll definitely enjoy yourself there. Trust me, your eyes will definitely see the wonders so be prepared for it"

Lisa raised her brow at me twice as if she's hinting something fun or amusing at me.

"Oh really? You mean, I will enjoy myself while watching you taking photos for family pictures."

"Nope, Im not talking about family pictures here chipmunk, Im talking about girls; lots of girls"

I still don't understand what she was talking about, unless-

"Yahhh!... Lisayah! Im not into mothers, or older ladies. Are you going to take pictures for Wive's Club this time? Or something like that?"

"Wha? The hell chipmunk hahaha, first of all no, Im not. Im talking about beautiful young females super models here Chaeng. Got it?"

I just stared at her. Her faced looked so smug and proud.

"Wait... Don't tell Seulgi unnie finally let you... " Lisa nod her head in confirmation " Oh godddd Lisa Im so proud of you! So when is the photoshoot?"

"Next Saturday. Seulgi told me that I could hire an assistant to help for the preparation. I promise you won't do much there, and besides the payment is good it would help you a lot"

This fool, she's still thinking about my well-being, she always prioritize me over everything. It doesn't matter for her if I don't have any experience in her field of work, or if am I really gonna be a big help for her. What matters to her is that she knows this job would help me a lot without exhausting myself with it. 

I reached for her hand on the table and squeeze it lightly to express my gratitude. Everything she does is touching for me.

"Lisa you don't have to convince me with the payment. Paid or not, I'll support you cause you're my family"

Lisa gave me a sweet smile and squeeze my hand in return. As long as I am with Lisa, I never felt alone. I never felt that I am currently and officially an orphan. 

"Thank you chipmunk, but you're still going to get paid though—I won't take no for an answer"

"If you insist, Lisayah"

Back then when Jisoo left me and all those tragedies came upon me, I thought I would never be able to stand by myself, but I was wrong. Lisa help me to stand up once again. She's the one who filled the emptiness within me and I am forever thankful to her for that. I knew that Jisoo would have had done the same if she's here, that's why I never harbored any ill feelings towards her—if anything, Im glad to be where we are now. With her being a star and me being her fan watching her from afar; there's nothing more satisfying than to see the one person you love reaching her dreams and become the star you could look up to, not just by you, but by everyone... Yeah that's right, it was satisfying just looking at it, even if that star is not paying her watcher a single glance and is now looking at the other star she shared the sky.