Cell Block Tango
"Pop," Sabrina said out of nowhere, followed by Marinette saying, "Six," with a smirk. Adrien and Alya looked confused while everyone else knew where this was going.
"Squish," Juleka said.
Mylene shook her head, "Uh uh."
"Cicero," Alix, whispered.
Once Marc said, "Lipschitz," Max scrambled to pull out his phone. He rapidly typed something and music began playing. Kim stood from his seat and said, "And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail
In their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'!"
"... Lipschitz."
"Pop."
"Six."
"Squish."
"Uh uh."
"Cicero."
"Lipschitz."
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh uh!"
"Cicero!"
"Lipschitz!"
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh uh!"
"Cicero"
"Lipschitz!"
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh uh!"
"Cicero"
"Lipschitz!"
"He had it coming!" They stood, "He had it coming!" They pointed to their significant others/friends
"He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!"
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh uh!"
"Cicero"
"Lipschitz!"
Sabrina made her way to the front, looking meek, "You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like...Bernie!" She points to Chloe, "Bernie liked to chew gum--no, not chew. Pop!" She clapped her hands together loudly to imitate a popping sound,
"So, I came home this one day and I'm really irritated, looking for a little sympathy; and there's Bernie. Lying on the couch, drinking a beer, and chewing--No, not chewing, POPPING!" She clapped her hands again.
"So, I said to him, I said," She looks to Chloe, "Bernie, you pop that gum one more time…" With a smirk, Chloe claps her hands, "...And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...Into his head!"
"He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there. If you'd have heard it!
I betcha you would have done the same!"
As the others sat back down, Marinette slowly made her way to the front, "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago," When she passed by Adrien and Nino's desk, she slid her hand over the blonde's shoulder, making him shudder, "and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner..."
She glared at Adrien, "And then I found out, single he told me? Single my ass!" Alya flinched in her seat, "Not only was he married, oh no! he had six wives; one of those Mormons, you know?" She made her way to the boys' desk, reached into Adrien's bag, and pulled out a water bottle, "So that night, when he came home, I mixed him his drink as usual…" She hands him the water bottle, which he hesitantly took and began taking a few sips, only to choke when she said, "You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!"
"He had it coming, he had it coming
He took a flower in its prime!
And then he used it, and he abused it
It was a murder, but not a crime!"
Juleka stood from her seat, "Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, and I'm carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage!"
"'You've been screwing the milkman!'" Rose mouthed her words, "He said. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, "'You've been screwing the milkman!'" She pulls out a metal ruler, "And then he ran into my knife... He ran into my knife ten times."
"If you'd have been there if you'd have seen it!
I betcha you would have done the same!"
Mylene stood from her desk and started speaking in a different language, "Mit keresek én itt?" She walks over to where Ivan's sitting," Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét." She mimics stabbing motions towards Ivan's head, "De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Próbáltam a rendőrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg!"
"But did you do it?" Asks Juleka.
She shook her head, "Uh uh, not guilty!"
"He had it coming..."
"My sister, Veronica," Alix points to Kim, "and I had this double act. And my husband, Charlie," she points to Max, "used to travel around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row." She stands on top of her desk and starts performing the tricks she lists off, "One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip flops, one right after the other!" She gets down and makes her way to Kim and Max's desk, "Well, this one night we were in Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up in a hotel room boozing and having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I went out to get some..." She turns her back on the two, and they start kissing, "I come back, open the door…" She turns back around, "And there's Veronica and Charlie doing number seventeen… the spread eagle!...
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!"
"They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it, but if I'd done it!
How could you tell me that I was wrong?"
"They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
(They took a flower in its prime)
I didn't do it, but if I'd done it!
(And then they used it, and they abused it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
(It was a murder but not a crime)"
Finally, it was Marc's turn, "I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say." He kisses Nathaniel's cheek, "He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was troubled, he was always trying to “find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and along the way, he found…" He points to Rose, "Ruth," Alya, "Gladys," Chloe, "Rosemary," and Adrien, "and Irving... I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive..." He cups Nathaniel's face in his hands, "And I saw him dead!"
"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
'Cause if they used us, and they abused us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?!"
"He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it!
I betcha you would have done the same--"
Sabrina points to Chloe, "You pop that gum one more time..."
Marinette glared at Adrien, "Single my ass!"
"Ten times!" Juleka exclaimed as she made stabbing motions with her ruler.
"Miért csukott Uncle Sam börtönbe!" Mylene said before slamming her head down on the desk
"Number seventeen, the spread eagle!" Alix yelled before doing the splits
"Artistic differences..."
"Pop!"
"Six!"
"Squish!"
"Uh uh!"
"Cicero"
"Lipschitz!"