Athazagoraphobia

“Yes, you mentioned that earlier. Now are you going to keep staring at us dramatically or are you going to tell us what it is?” Weiss asked, giving him an annoyed look.

“Ah, right.” Qrow looked sheepish as he walked over to the middle of the shell. Then, finally, he sat down, gesturing for everyone to join him.

Yang was ushered to the middle by her teammates, who helped her sit down when they realized she was still unsteady. Ruby sat to her left, hugging her arm like she thought Yang would run again. And Weiss sat down on her other side, successfully boxing her in. Were it any other time, Yang would have been annoyed, but now she was just glad to have someone to lean on.

Blake sat down on the other side of Weiss, and Yang tried to ignore the ache in her heart at how distant she was being. She still said those… Things.

Yang paused. Her memory was fuzzy on that. She could remember what Blake said, but it didn’t sound completely like her? What is going on?

Qrow cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “Now that everyone is settled. Let me explain. A Rakleft is a once thought-to-be-extinct Grimm. It attaches itself to a person with a low aura and then pumps some kind of toxin into their brain that will increase their negative emotions, making them overwhelming to the person sometimes. Even the slightest negative thought will be increased. This is to attract more grimm since Rakleft are not able to take down a person on their own.”

“But how come we didn’t notice anything before? It was almost the size of her head!” Nora exclaimed.

“Well, they start off small and grow bigger with the more aura they feed on. And Yang has a lot of hair, so it used that to it’s advantage.” Qrow replied. “These things are experts at hiding themselves, so don’t beat yourselves up for not being able to notice it.”

“But, Yang, why didn’t you tell us if you were feeling this? We could have helped you and figured this out sooner.” Jaune asked, causing everyone else to look back at her.

Yang tensed up under everyone’s gaze. She expected to find judgment as she had been for the last couple of days, but she only saw concern, confusion, and even some hurt in the eyes of her team. It threw her for a loop. “I- uhm-”

Qrow held his hand up to cut her off. He was one of the only ones that didn’t look confused. But instead, he looked like he pitied her, which was worse, in her opinion. “I think I have the answer to that, too.”

Everyone looked away from Yang and back to him, and she couldn’t stop herself from slumping over in relief. 

Before anyone could comment, he continued. “What a rakleft doesn’t have in strength, dexterity, numbers, or even how many hits it can take, it makes up for in smarts. These are some of the smartest grimm you can find. And their toxin doesn’t just increase negative emotions. It gives them control over what a person can see and hear.” 

Ruby gripped Yang tighter. She and everyone else could see where this was going.

“When you aren’t experiencing enough negative emotions, or if it thinks it can increase them, it will ‘read’ your memories, how we don’t know, and will make you see and hear things that aren’t there, even making you think thoughts that are not your own. But they will also use this ability if they think their host is going to get them discovered.” Qrow stopped momentarily to gather the rest of his thoughts, maybe even seeing if Yang would interject. She didn’t. “She probably didn’t come to you because she thought she couldn’t. They know if their host talks to others about what’s going on, they will likely get discovered and killed. So, it makes them lose trust in those around them first, makes them think they won’t care about them, and isolates them.”

Yang couldn’t believe what she was hearing. If the grimm could do all that, how much of what she heard was real? Was anything real? Anything?!

She distantly heard someone call her name. There was muffled talking and the sound of people walking away. They left me alone.

But Ruby was still holding her arm, and two shadows were on either side of her.

“Yang,” A voice finally reached her ears. Familiar. Smooth. “Yang I need you to breath for us.”

That made Yang realize she was hyperventilating and kicked herself for not noticing before. She took a shuddering breath, not quite getting a full breath in before it was forced out. Her lungs felt so tight.

“Thats okay, Keep trying. You can do this.” The voice said.

She felt Ruby starting to let go of her. Maybe she thought the touch was making things worse or something. No. 

Yang shot her arm out and caught Ruby before she could get too far. “Dont.. Don’t leave.”

Immediately, Ruby returned to holding her and Yang leaned into the touch, using it to help ground her. Weiss put a hand on her other shoulder to help, or, who she thought was Weiss based on the small hand. But… Where was Blake?

The voice kept coaching her, and Yang could start breathing easier after a few minutes.

“There we go. Good job.” The voice, which she now could see was Blake, said to her. Oh, there she is. She didn’t leave…

Yang sighed and avoided eye contact with her. She still didn’t know if it was really Blake who said those things. And now that she thought about it, Blake would never. But there was still that lingering fear in the back of her mind that she did.

“I’m sorry guys. I didn’t mean to cause this much trouble..” She said her voice barely above a whisper.

“No. Don’t ever apologise for needing help. We care about you, you dunce.” Weiss stated, her grip on Yang’s shoulder getting tighter. “You’ve been there for us all these years, it’s okay to lean on us every once in a while.”

“Yeah! Yang, I know you’re always trying to be the strong older sister, but you aren’t invincible. You can come to us when you need to. You know that.” Ruby agreed. “But… Why didn’t you?”

Yang winced, now avoiding eye contact with everyone. “I… Um… Ithoughtyouallhatedmeandweregoingtoleavemebehind.” She blurted out.

Her teammates stared at her with various levels of horror. She had hoped for a second that they wouldn’t understand her, but they were all well-versed in Ruby speak by this point, so she knew deep down they would.

So, with a sigh, Yang explained. “I heard things. About how without my arm I was useless. And that you were planning on leaving me behind at the next town we stopped in. You all had annoyed or angry looks whenever I was being annoying. And I even heard that…” She glanced at Blake for a second before immediately looking away and mumbling the last part. “... that blake would have preferred adam over me…”

If it was quiet before, it was dead silent now. Even the quiet chatter of everyone else a bit away seemed to quiet down.

Yang started to fidget nervously the longer the silence went on. “Okay. I know that last part is stupid and I shouldn’t have beleived it in the slightest, but I heard it multiple times, and I thought, or maybe I didn’t think it? Maybe it was the grimm? Ugh! My head hurts.” 

“Yang…”

Yang almost jumped at the tone of Blake’s voice. It sounded almost… dangerous.

“Um- We’ll give you two some time alone, come on Ruby. We’ll finish this team talk later.” Weiss stood up and grabbed Ruby’s arm, dragging her away from Yang. She didn’t give Ruby any time to protest.

“But- Weiss- … Fine, we’ll be over here if you need us, sis!”

Yang almost wanted to call them back and tell them not to leave her alone with Blake. But she doubted Blake would let her. They needed this talk.

“Yang. How…” Blake took a deep breath. “How could you ever think I preferred Adam to you?” Her voice cracked as she tried to keep the thousands of emotions she was feeling from leaking into her tone. She needed to be the strong one right now.

“I-”

Blake put a finger to her lips, effectively silencing her. “No. There is no reason for you to be thinking that! Adam- he-” She had to stop to take another deep breath. “He was nothing like you. You care about people, you protect your family, you’re strength. In more ways than just physical.”

Yang stayed silent as Blake spoke, avoiding any and all eye contact with her. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe her, but she couldn’t be any of that. Not when she’s being so… weak.

Blake hooked her finger under Yang’s chin, making her look up and make eye contact. What she saw in Blake’s eyes was nothing like she was expecting. All she saw was resolve, determination, and love.

“Yang. I want you to listen. You are strong. You are not weak. No one here thinks you are weak. We all love you. You are the heart of this team,” Blake stated, with no room for argument in her voice. Her eyes softened, and she smiled at Yang. “Ruby loves you. She thinks you’re the best big sister ever. Not because you try and protect her from everything. She can do that herself. But because you’re always trying your best to make her happy, and you care about her like nobody else does. Well, except maybe Penny.”

Yang couldn’t help the slight smirk on her face. Yeah. They aren’t fooling anyone.

“But she cares for you just as much as you care for her. She’ll be there for you if you just let her.”

“Weiss loves you too in her own Ice Queen way. She may not show it, but you’re family to her. She leans on you, and you lean on her. Not because you’re strong and always need to be a pillar, but because you two understand each other in ways none of us could understand.”

“And me..” Blake adverted her eyes for a moment, then looked back at eye contact. “I love you in way that I sometimes can’t describe. You always make me laugh. I think you’re an extraordinary person. You’re always the first to lighten a situation. You act bravely when you’re afraid. You do what you say.” 

Yang stared at her, not knowing how to respond to that. A feeling bubbled up in her, pushing back the dark and making her feel the lightest she has since the cave. But at the same time…

“I know you aren’t ready to say it back. You need to heal yourself before you can think about others. But I need you to know. I’m here for you. We’re here for you. So don’t push us out. Please.” Blake pulled Yang in for a tight hug, and Yang could see Ruby and Weiss watching them with happy smiles.

Maybe… Yang thought as she leaned into the hug, bringing her arms up and holding Blake just as tightly. Maybe I’m not strong right now. 

But. I don’t have to be. She smiled as Ruby and Weiss came over, joining in on their hug. For the first time in a while, Yang felt safe and loved. Not when I have my family to lean on.