Maybe Not
"Ya can't tell me he ain't packin'! Husky, ya can't say he ain't packin'!!"
"Can you fucking talk about dick somewhere else!?"
With a groan, you massaged your temple with your gloved fingers. Part of you felt bad about hanging by the bar so much. Another part of you felt bad about hanging by the bar on Angel's day off. And most of you felt amused seeing Husk being bothered by Angel. It made you giddy how Angel would rope him into your conversations, and you knew Angel just had a fun time with Husk in general. Oh, and you felt a little sorry. A little.
It wasn't enough of a distraction though, you felt like you were going to burst. Maybe you didn't get enough rest the night before or it was just today, not much was different except for your unwavering paranoia. It was actually nowhere out of the ordinary to feel him watching you. Perhaps his constant presence was what set you off? You felt almost nauseous whenever you caught sight of his eyes. This feeling didn't happen much, you usually didn't allow it to, but you only had him to blame if it wasn't yourself. Even then, you would occasionally scan around to make sure you weren't imagining it. You couldn't focus enough to confirm if you were or not, so that did sweet fuck all for you.
"The only thing I'm packing is an urge to drink. Husk?" You caught a glimpse of the both of them turning to you, and though Husk drew out a long grunt, he still got to work. "... Preferably not water this time."
"Ah... pick your poison, kid."
"Anything, I don't care right now."
The cat raised one of his brows, but shrugged it off. You didn't realise you had been slouching from how much the day had been stressing you. Even the way you sat: half of your body weight not even being held by the stool, one leg limp and the other supporting your weight; that wasn't even considered sitting. Wait, were you smiling? Shit, maybe you weren't. The moment you thought about it, it had crept across your lips on its own. You couldn't be sure, but you hoped you had been. He slid a shot in front of you, snapping you out of the thoughts that plagued your mind. Angel gave a perplexed look before he leaned towards Husk, starting to yap at him in a hushed tone.
It was transparent, though you knew it wasn't water. It didn't have any distinct fragrance, so you assumed it was likely... some vodka? Part of you felt a bit nervous considering this, since you didn't drink much when you were alive. You died young, not even old enough to buy drinks on your own, and you mostly drank light fruity beverages the rare times you did...
Wait, shut up; before you got lost in irrelevant thoughts again, you swallowed your worries and downed the shot without missing a beat. You prepared for a burn, and hell, you got one. It wasn't too bad, but the sting seemed to rise in your throat and proceed to the rest of your body. You shivered at the warmth enshrouding your being. The sudden heat was the only thing you had felt from that shot though, your head felt fine, you could see well. You were smart enough to know it would eventually fuck you up, so you let the glass gently click against the bar's surface, stopping there before you did something dumb.
"Shit... Prude number two's driving ya nuts, huh? Fuck, babe..."
"... Huh?"
"How else could he down some top-shelf shit in a couple'a seconds? He's an alcohol virgin!"
"I'm fine, I'm just a bit on-edge, that's all." You had done your best to drown out everything, to keep that smile over your lips. It was one of the few things you had to work for, and you didn't want to lose one of the only things you had. After a while, you could admit it strained you. Closing your lips to smile with minimal effort, you let your brows furrow as you sat as straight as you could. With a puff of air exiting your lungs, you faced towards the two. Your smile fell a tiny bit.
"Honey, you're... off whatever edge you's talkin' 'bout--Husky, I still can't believe ya-"
"I what? He asked for anything! Don't know why it bothers you in the first place!"
"Well, my fuckin' bad he's still a kid!"
"Oh fuck o-"
Sweet Satan. Grunting lowly, you didn't think you could deal with the bickering any longer. You didn't know what was worse, the noise, or basically being the cause. And besides, you were an adult... you were just a very inexperienced one... Alright fine, compared to them, you definitely were just a kid. "Husk? I'll tell Vaggie to take however much that cost out of my paycheck, okay?" Your eyes had left the two, facing in front of you as you pushed yourself to your feet. "I think I'll go to my room for now before shit hits, cause y'know, I'm an alcohol virgin." Those words came out laced in sarcasm, and it seemed to shut the two up for the time being.
You didn't waste any time, leaving as quick as you'd spoken. And there it was: the unshakable feeling of being watched once again. The chill it sent down your body only made you burn up more, like you were freezing and melting at the same time. Why? Why did you just have to be observed? What reason would there be to strip someone of their privacy entirely? And even if it wasn't entirely, you were still made to feel like it was. You swiftly hopped up the stairs, smile straining greatly. What exactly did that stupid deer man get out of this? What had you done to be tortured in such a way? Was everyone else being watched too? Could they feel his eyes follow their every move? Did they just learn to accept and adapt to it before you? Were you just crazy? What if he wasn't even watching?
You slid a hand in your pocket to grab your key, vaguely trembling as you unlocked your door. You couldn't focus in the slightest. You didn't know if your door was locked in the first place, you didn't sense any movement as you turned the key. You couldn't feel the sweat beading across your skin and how it made your clothes stick to you. The sharp burning sensation only intensified. Trudging over to your bed, you gently laid down on your stomach, letting your feet hang off of the bed.
You felt awful.
Everything was sore.
You needed to relax, this couldn't have been from one little shot, right?
You pulled your pillow towards you and buried your face in it. You didn't like frowning where anyone would be able to see. Even if you weren't being watched, you felt the need to hide. It felt safer that way. You clutched the pillow to your face like your life depended on it. For the first time in a while, at least from what you could remember, you scowled. This place was really all you had. Working here was the only thing you were even remotely useful for, and as much as you shoved the thought to the back of your head, you knew were extremely replaceable. Part of you didn't want to believe it, but in the end you always knew it were true. You were a lesser demon as much as you were a lesser human.
Were you being tested? Challenged not to crack under the pressure? If so, did that mean you just failed? Running back up to your room to catch a breather, did it show you weren't as fitting for the job as everyone thought? If you couldn't hold yourself together, could you hold this place together? Were they in on this? Maybe they were... But you weren't a total disaster, you knew that. Maybe you were more casual when you fell, but even with how informal you were, you weren't stupid. You had decent manners, you were considerate. You didn't get to live, but you learned enough in the overworld, basic knowledge, even more... You realised you had been holding your breath. You exhaled, lifting your head to draw in another dose of air.
When your head left the fabric, your lips lifted at the corners unwillingly. If he could watch, anyone could be watching, right? Your pillow case looked a bit damp, making you pull away entirely. You'd do your own laundry later, that wasn't your priority. Whatever was happening, it didn't matter if this sudden wave of anxiety was caused by your paranoia or the shot or whatever, you just wanted it to disappear.
"... This is stupid, haha..."
You chuckled low and dryly, to whoever was there, or whoever wasn't. With one more sigh, you rolled to your side and sat up. You needed some sort of hobby, maybe a second job. Something had to help you get your head in the sand. Your tail swayed a little as you racked your brain. You did like listening to music, or just listening to someone talk. It was a comforting not-alone feeling, in other words, the opposite from how you were feeling then. You spent half of your living days listening to music, reading, sometimes even writing your own songs. This thought tugged down on your smile faintly.
Every morning, you had to wake up to that song. Almost as if it played specifically for you every morning. The radio station had quite the varied selection, even some you had never heard before, but that one song never failed to play, always at the same time. It was how you knew when to be up and out... Though, you were never told you couldn't listen to the music just for fun. Maybe it would help soothe you, and if it didn't, you weren't going to give up so easily. It was best you calmed yourself quick and got back out quicker. If this didn't work, then you'd write, and if that failed, sketch? There had to be something somewhere to swipe away your attention.
You unclipped the radio from your waist. As old fashioned as it looked, at least you were able to carry it around easily. Maybe it wasn't even old fashioned and it just looked that way, you couldn't say. You were a modern baby, after all. With another stretch, you put your radio back in its spot. Did the room get colder? Or did your body finally start to flush out the warmth that had possessed you? You really had no idea anymore. A trip around the room and back, you had gathered what you'd spend the next hour or so with. A water bottle (you still questioned how this stuff even existed down here; you didn't quite want to know though), a small box of biscuits, and a journal. You had relocated to the table by the door, getting as comfortable as you could, and turning your radio on.
It was scary, to feel alone yet not at the same time.
ㅤ
ㅤ
────────
ㅤ
ㅤ
"Is that all, darling?"
Sitting straight with a leg over the other was the ruby-red demon, taking a sip from a glass. The sharp aroma of this unknown drink hovered in the air, its musky scent hugging against the two. Opening his eyes, his company came into view. An energetic and excitable demon belle, just barely keeping herself from bouncing off the walls. Things were going smoothly and as joyous as it made her, it also relieved her tremendously. It was comforting to know that even with the incident over the news a while ago, there were still demons that gave the hotel a chance. Her blonde waves gave a sway with every slight movement, her body language quite hyperactive. It was obvious she didn't belong down here. Charlotte Magne, Princess of Hell.
"Yeah! That's all for now at least..." The maiden tilted her head, letting her angelic strands droop to the side. "Say, Al...?"
"Yes dear?"
"I..." While she twiddled her thumbs, the other demon lifted his head, bringing his glassed hand down to rest on his knee. Her darkened lips tightened, shifting from a shy grin to an unsure one. Her rosy cheeks had puffed absentmindedly, eyes sliding to the side. "I just...! I wanted to say thank you!" Almost loud enough to startle, Charlie blurted out the words she had been keeping in the back of her throat for a while. Her thick lashes fluttered halfway. "I'm... really happy with the way all of this is going... I didn't think anyone would be interested, but we've made fast progress! Even Vaggie has been happy with it, so it is praise worthy! And I know you're the reason why, so-"
"Dear," A deep chuckle rang through the room as he leaned forward, placing his glass on the desk between them. "I've done very little aside from offering my services! I couldn't take credit for your hard work! And besides..." His voice had seemed to drop an octave, though it hadn't even started to phase the pure bliss radiating off of the lady. "Now is hardly the time to celebrate." Interlocking his fingers, he let the joined hands rest on his knee. Alastor's gaze dragged to meet Charlie's, who had been paying her best attention since he began to speak. But keeping eye contact had always proved to be a slight challenge with The Radio Demon. The princess was able to do it, who knows how, but she did. The room felt more uneasy than it did cozy. "... The show has yet to start, darling!"
"Ah, yeah, I-I know. The fact that we're getting anywhere is just... it's very motivating to me, it means the world, really!" Beaming, she took in a deep inhale. "We still have a long way to go, but I wanted to express my gratitude for how much you've helped so far... And... to say sorry too, for..." Charlie paused, seemingly to choose her next words. "... For doubting you at first." Shrinking into herself, she spoke softer as if it would change the meaning at all. Another hearty laugh travelled through the room.
"You don't need to apologise, dear. Your previous scuffle that day had left you rather dubious, of course I am pleased you didn't remain cynical! Ha!" The words held some energy to them, but it died down quickly. "I do not blame you for anything you felt then. But, don't forget," His voice's tone seemed to be all over the place, steadily changing back to one that'd suck your anxiety to the surface. "I'm not here to redeem demons." The belle's breath got caught in her throat.
And the silence that lingered almost stung physically.
"I won't belittle your dream, dear. I simply have opposing views for what I believe is or is not possible, and I've made it clear." The deer demon subconsciously lifted a hand to adjust the monocle he wore. Charlie had been a bit restless, appearing as if she were battling with the same mistrust she had that day. "However, there's no harm in lending you my aid and providing the hotel protection." The lady shifted and with a glimmer in her eyes, Alastor could tell she had something to ask. Relaxing his eyes on hers, she took the silence as her cue.
"... For what reason, exactly?"
The Cheshire grin he displayed lengthened.
"It would be fun to see if you could prove me wrong. What else would it be?"