They hadn’t talked since they left the bridge, yet the air between them felt calm and light. It surprised Eve, how much she enjoyed walking alone with Villanelle. How secure she felt, and how now, after they both turned on the bridge, in unison, Eve knew that she wanted nothing more than to just be beside Villanelle in this moment.
So, that’s what she’s doing, giving in to this desire, of simply being with Villanelle tonight. Honestly, she’d follow her anywhere. This time with no resentment, no fear, just them, strolling down London’s neon lit streets, while the night expands over them.
Eve occasionally peers over to Villanelle, who returns a gentle smile. It’s a silent acknowledgment to Eve. A look, as if to say, no I haven’t forgotten about you.
Her smile, tender and solely directed toward Eve, sends butterflies throughout her stomach.
After a few blocks of sightseeing, from Eve silently studying the details of passing buildings to contemplating Villanelle’s destination, Villanelle starts to slow her pace. Her gaze is fixed on a corner side building, and she motions toward a white and red entrance, pointing at a logo over the glass door, stating: Paradise Pizza.
“Are you hungry?” She says, breaking their silence.
Eve looks to Villanelle then to the inside of the restaurant. It is dimly lit, yet through the glass windows, she can see a man pushing a pale pizza into a large brick oven. She hadn’t expected that Villanelle would want to stop for food.
“This whole time you were looking for pizza?” Eve finally says.
“Yes, why?”
Eve tilts her head. She could definitely go for some pizza right now, but she worried about them lingering in London for too long. In the back of her mind, she knew that they had to make a plan to get out of the country while they were ahead.
“Because, I thought we were trying to get out of London.”
“So, you’re not hungry?” Villanelle says with a confused expression.
Eve groans.
“I am, but, we shouldn’t be here long, you know with the twelve an-”
Villanelle moves close, stopping a foot away. She places her hand on Eve’s shoulder.
“Eve...if you’re worried about being safe, seriously, I will protect you.”
She knows this is true. That Villanelle will and plans on protecting Eve while they are together. And she secretly appreciates it, but also wants to make sure that they make it out of London safely.
“I just want to make sure that nothing bad happens tonight.”
“It won’t.”
“You seem very sure about this.”
“Because I am not afraid.” Villanelle moves toward the door and adds, “Plus, I’m starving, and I can’t think on an empty stomach.”
She reaches for the door handle and pulls it open. An aroma of melted cheese floats through the night air. Eve can feel her stomach begin to ache.
“Come on. We’ll be fine,” Villanelle says, once again.
Villanelle’s eyes soften, and she offers her hand.
Eve hesitates. Deep down, she trusts that everything will be fine. Besides, she doubts anyone would be following them now.
“We’re wasting time, you know.” Villanelle gives her a playful smirk with her palm still extended.
Eve rolls her eyes, then says, “Fine.”
She moves forward and stops right in front of Villanelle, pointing toward her chin. She wants Villanelle to know that she’s serious.
“But we’re making a plan while we eat.”
“Yes. Whatever you say Eve.” Villanelle pulls at her finger, tangling their hands together. A pleasant shiver runs throughout Eve’s spine.
“You’re going to love their cheese pizza,” Villanelle adds and leads her through the door frame.
__
After finishing her third slice of pizza, Eve pushes herself back into the booth and huffs.
“You were hungry,” Villanelle says with a grin.
“That was incredible. I haven’t had pizza in ages.”
“I knew you’d love it.”
Eve watches as Villanelle pushes her plate to the side, with one remaining slice. Villanelle looks down at it then back at Eve.
“Do you want it?”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
Villanelle shrugs, then crosses her hands together, staring at Eve across the table. Eve allows herself to look back, noticing the faint pink color building on Villanelle’s cheeks along with a few strands of loose hairs hanging over them.
“I am going to be honest. I can’t believe this right now.”
Eve blinks, curiously.
“Us...together,” Villanelle continues. Her words are soft. Light. Then, Eve watches as a grin spreads across her face.
“It feels like a dream.”
Eve smiles now. She agrees with Villanelle. This whole night, ever since they left the bridge together, sorta felt unreal.
Villanelle leans forward. “We could go anywhere we want. I’ve been to many countries, so I could show you. I say we go to the islands. I’ve always wanted to go.”
Villanelle’s eyes seem to sparkle with excitement, and Eve can’t help but suddenly feel giddy as well. She likes to see Villanelle happy.
But where did Eve want to go? The islands didn’t sound like a bad choice at all, and she half expected for the twelve to find them there, if not for a while.
She lets her mind quickly drift into this fantasy. The two of them relaxing on the beach somewhere, maybe in the Bahamas, the water rushing to kiss their feet as they sat upon the shore.
The vision was cliche, but felt so damn tempting. Yet, it didn’t exactly feel right.
“I don’t know,” Eve hesitates. “The islands sound nice, but—”
Villanelle frowns.
“Where do you want to go then?”
“I was thinking somewhere else.”
“Okay but where?” Villanelle says, impatiently.
She’s been thinking about the possibility of them running off together, and this vision never included the islands, but the same intimate cabin that Villanelle mentioned some time ago. She decides to just say it, “How about Alaska?”
Villanelle lowers her brows.
“What?”
“Alaska, did you still want to go there?”
“I thought you did not want to go.”
“That was before.”
A grin spreads across Villanelle’s lips, but she doesn’t say anything, just looks at Eve in awe. Eve blushes and continues, “plus I bet no one would expect us to go there. We could start over.”
“Of course, I want to go,” Villanelle says. “And not just Alaska, I want to take you places. To different countries. To travel like lovers.” The word, lovers, sinks into the best parts of Eve’s mind. “You know, normal stuff.”
Eve laughs. “You act like this is one permanent vacation.”
“Isn’t it?” Villanelle quirks her eyebrows. She reaches out for Eve’s hands and cradles them within her own. “It’s going to be amazing.”
Eve nods, because this time, she believes it will be.
“So Alaska then?” Eve questions, and uses her thumb to create circles on the back of Villanelle’s hand.
Villanelle blushes, then nods with the same wide smile and says, “I can’t wait to see how cute you look in an expensive Alaskan coat.”
—
Villanelle books them a hotel room for the night. The room is reasonable in size, with only one king size bed in the center along with a television planted on a wooden dresser.
This room would do for the night, since tomorrow, they will be on their way to Alaska.
Alaska, Eve thinks. It’s crazy how quickly things turned around, and now, in 10 hours or so, they would be on a plane together, starting a new life.
It sounded cliche, the act of running away together, escaping their jobs and starting new; but this time, there would be no Bonnie and Clyde comparisons, no external factors getting in the mix, just them, together.
She thinks of consumption, how maybe she still thinks that they might consume each other before they got old. But worrying is not going to change anything, and now, she simply wants to enjoy her moments with this woman.
Eve watches as Villanelle unbuttons her yellow coat and drapes it over a chair in the corner, revealing only a white tank top and her black leggings. She motions to take off her own coat as well.
“We will have to wear the same thing until tomorrow. I will buy us some clothes for the flight,” Villanelle says.
“It’s okay. I don’t really mind. I can wait really.”
Honestly, she didn’t have a problem with wearing the same clothes until they landed in Alaska. She doesn’t want it to be a hassle.
Villanelle gives Eve a confused look.
“I can get us some clothes. It’s no big deal.”
“Okay okay,” Eve says, then moves around her to sit on the edge of the bed. She remembers the contents in her purse.
“I have my I.D. and passport. Also, a bit of money from my savings.”
“That’s good, so we don’t have to worry about getting you a passport.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
A silence falls between them both, and then an awareness washes over Eve, that now she’s alone with Villanelle in a hotel room, without work forcing them together. She tries to think the last time they were alone, with total privacy, but falls short. Eve swallows, slightly shifting on the bed. She wonders if Villanelle is thinking about this too.
“So do you want to sleep?” Villanelle asks. She seems to hesitate, but nevertheless motions to the large mattress.
No, Eve doesn’t want to go to sleep just yet, but she wants to be reasonable with their time, and it was probably better that they get some rest before their flight.
“Yes...yeah, we should get some rest.”
She stands up then goes to the right side of the bed, and begins to peel back the thick bed sheets.
She can feel Villanelle staring at her, but she continues to unfold the blankets anyway, and gets in-between the sheets.
“Do you normally sleep with your clothes on?” Villanelle chuckles, and Eve looks over to Villanelle who is beginning to take off her leggings.
She quickly turns away, and she can feel her cheeks redden.
“Relax. I am not going to do anything. I just don’t like sleeping with layers on. Do you mind?”
“No, no. Not at all.” Eve still doesn’t make eye contact.
“Don’t make it weird, Eve,” she hears Villanelle laugh.
“I’m not. I won’t.” Eve fumbles, trying to find an excuse besides the fact that she really wants to see Villanelle, but doesn’t know how she’ll react. Also, she’s not used to seeing Villanelle this way, but knows she probably looks amazing.
“It’s just that I’m not used to this.” She looks up and motions between them two.
“Used to being with a woman?”
“Well yes, but I’m not used to being with you like this.”
Villanelle folds back the sheets on the other side of the bed and gets in, she turns toward Eve with a grin.
“I love being with you like this.” Villanelle reaches out to brush a strand of Eve’s curls to the side. “I feel like I’ve wanted this forever.”
“Me too.” Eve sighs into Villanelle’s touch.
Villanelle leans forward and places a kiss on Eve’s forehead. Eve instinctually closes her eyes and smiles.
“We never talked about it, you know.”
“About what?”
“Our first kiss.”
Oh.
Villanelle’s fingers begin twisting at Eve’s strands. It would be easy in this moment to tell Villanelle everything she felt about their kiss, but honestly, what else was there to say?
Yes, she thought about it. And yes, she thought about it often.
“What is there to talk about?”
“Well first, you can tell me how incredible you thought it was,” Villanelle says.
“Oh please,” Eve scoffs. She closes her eyes as she feels Villanelle’s hands work at her hair.
“You really surprised me,” Villanelle says.
“I surprised myself.”
They fall quiet, and for a moment, it seems as if they relive their kiss together. Eve thinks about the terror she felt when she recognized Villanelle stepping onto the bus. Then, Eve lunged toward her, and Villanelle pinned her down to the seat. Their bodies pressed against one another and their sudden, shared, awareness of this closeness.
Eve initiated the kiss, then she headbutted her. Out of shock? Out of fear? She didn’t know how to compose herself because she was supposed to be furious; she was supposed to hate Villanelle. And in that moment, she did, but something else came over her, a longing, a desire, to pinpoint the complicated feelings she had toward this woman that manifested over the last few months. This same woman, who shot her and left her for dead.
The kiss had been brief, yet, Eve fantasized not just about the kiss, but the different ways they could do it if given another chance.
God, did Eve want another chance...
“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Villanelle adds.
Eve swallows, if only Villanelle knew how often she replayed the entire moment in her mind.
“I touched myself that night thinking about you.”
Eve’s eyes flash open, and she looks over to Villanelle whose attention is at her curls. She looks casual, as if she just told Eve about the weather, not that she masturbated to their reunion.
Despite that, a sudden wetness begins to pool between Eve’s legs and god, how she wishes Villanelle would just take the lead and lean over and—
“Is that too much?”
“No, no it’s—”
She wants to tell the truth. “I think about it too. More than I probably should.”
“I knew you liked it, well, before you decided to rudely headbutt me.”
“You deserved it.”
“I did.”
After a moment of silence, Eve says, “I also think about how we could’ve done it differently.”
Villanelle’s hand falters at her scalp.
“Oh really?”
Eve turns on her side to fully face her.
“Yes.” She lowers her voice, and looks down at Villanelle’s lips, then up again.
Villanelle’s eyes do the same.
“Do you want to kiss now?”
The question is abrupt and unexpected, which makes Eve chuckle, but what else did she expect from Villanelle, besides being extremely forward.
“That’s a bit forward.”
Villanelle shrugs.
“Yes, I want to…” Eve says in a whisper.
Villanelle leans forward, and Eve closes her eyes, ready to be met with kiss, but suddenly, Villanelle interjects, “I want to say this before tomorrow, before this,” she motions between them. “and before things get complicated.”
Villanelle cups Eve’s face.
“We are lovers now, and I want to be by your side and take care of you, if you’ll let me.”
Eve blinks. She opens her mouth to speak, yet Villanelle continues, “I am not perfect, and I will fuck up. I know it. But please don’t give up on me.”
This causes Eve to now reach out to Villanelle and cup both cheeks with her palms.
“Then be at my side then…” Eve smiles, and leans forward to give Villanelle a gentle kiss. It is soft and everything she expected.
“and be with me now,” Eve continues and deepens the kiss for a moment, before pulling back. A moan escapes from Villanelle’s lips.
She whispers over Villanelle’s mouth in a mimicking, yet playful tone, “We are lovers.”
Villanelle’s grin is barely visible from the porch light glinting through the curtained windows, and it is her this time, who brings them in for a consuming kiss.