sleepless
You'd been absorbing and unintentionally seeing people's traumas and biggest fears since you were little. Not knowing how to control your powers you made people experience things you were horrified to have to see yourself. Murder, assaults, abandonment, all of it was poured onto you and you were targeted relentlessly for accidentally activating your quirk.
So you found it difficult to sleep at times.
You knew Todoroki's trauma was bad. But you were grateful it wasn't as bad as other traumatic things you'd seen. Your parents forcing you to activate your quirk on unsuspecting strangers in order to forward your training. You felt like a horrible person.
You had seen heaps of darkness. Every time you used your quirk you found yourself unable to sleep the next night. Flashes of traumatic events, phobias, deep dark secrets and regrets appeared behind your eyes.
You laid on your back and tears rolled down your temples and your hands grasped the pillow you hugged so tightly that your knuckles turned white. You sobbed silently as you refrained from falling asleep. Your head pounded and mouth open, nothing came out but a few squeaks.
Your chest heaved up and down with heavy breaths and you attempted to shut your eyes only to witness Shoto's mother pouring that hot water onto his face. His screams bounced in your head like a pinball and you could see the burns developing as he looked up.
"St—Stop please...",you breathed out in a pleasing tone as your hands reached up to bunch in your hair. Soon enough you began to do what you had been doing ever since you were a child, just to stay awake.You sat up with heavy breaths and looked around the room. You walked over to your dresser you had brought and opened your empty drawer.
It helped you stay awake. Sobbing always made you sleepy.
You just needed to get through tonight.
Tugging off your black oversized long-sleeve you tossed it onto your bed and felt beneath the dresser. You breathed out as hot tears rolled down your cheeks and you felt cool metal on your fingertips. Tearing the razor off from the dresser you looked down to your scarred hips. Jagged scars looked like lightning against your skin.
You exhaled deeply and pressed the blade against your skin.
You did this not only to stay awake, to distract you from the pain, but because you felt this was what you deserved. You made people go through their worst nightmares and you had the audacity to take dream suppressants to not see them again?
All of the progress today at lunch and in your classes being praised by all was overshadowed by the dirty looks and glares you earned.
You felt horrible.
You were glad there would be no class today.
You winced as you pulled the bloodied razor away from
your hip and exhaled deeply. You definitely wouldn't sleep tonight.
At least you could sleep in today.
You looked to the razor and with a tissue you cleaned the blood and then taped it back beneath the drawer. You felt the warm liquid drip down your hip and you made your way over to the suitcase that held your first aid kit. You looked to the rose on your dresser.
Your mother had sent that for you after watching your win on TV. You gave a dry chuckle while glancing to the note in perfect cursive.
(Y/N),
We are so proud of you for winning first place. Next time please be stronger and don't pass out in front of national television.
Sincerely,
Mom and Dad
You placed a hand over your bleeding hip and snorted with a shake of your head. That was weak...
☀︎︎
"Fujisaki!!"
You groan softly at the sound of banging on your dorm room door. You brought the pillow over your ears and hoped whoever was knocking like a madman would go away.
"We're not leaving!"
Dammit...wait a minute—we?
You rub your tired and puffy eyes. Crawling out of the tangled mess of sheets and blankets you open the door with a yawn. You blink and notice Kirishima, Bakugo, and Kaminari are standing at your door, dressed in casual attire. Bakugo snorts as he looks you over.
He feels his heart catch at sight of the oversized shirt and sport shorts you wear, your messy hair and small frown on your lips. Some drool also stained your chin and cheek. Dammit! Of course she fucking looks adorable.
"You look like a hot mess.",Bakugo comments plainly while keeping his hands in his jeans. You narrow your eyes at him and he can't help but notice the puffiness they hold. But he is quick to turn away when you give him the bird. You turn to Kaminari and Kirishima with a gentle smile.
"What do you guys want?",you ask tiredly and you notice the chatter outside in the hallways. Kirishima wraps his arms around both Kaminaris and Bukugos shoulders.
"We're heading into town to eat at this restaurant to celebrate how kick-ass the Sports Festival was! We were wondering if Miss First Place wanted to come along.",he smiles widely at you with his sharp teeth and you look between the three of them.
Your arms cross over your chest and you can't help but smile gently,"Wait you're really inviting me?" Kaminari nods while leaning in. Bakugo opens his mouth to comment something sarcastic but Kirishima smacks him upside the head.
"Duh! Now hurry and get dressed, we'll be waiting outside the front entrance." With that the three boys hurry off. Or more so Bakugo chases Kirishima with death in his eyes. You furrow your brows and slowly shut the door before leaning against it with a smile spreading across your lips.
You inhale deeply and hold either side of your face. You bow your head and whisper to yourself,"Be normal. Do not freak out. Do not have a panic attack...don't ruin everything." You give yourself your version of a pep talk and move quickly to get ready. You wince when you move too quickly.
Your hand goes to your hip and you exhale deeply.
"But remember your place..."
Bakugo glares at Ashido as she applies lipgloss to her bright and wide smile,"Why did we have to invite her?" Ashido looks to Bakugo with a smile and eyeroll. Putting her lipgloss into her small backpack she shoves his shoulder.
"Because she's kick-ass and I want to be her friend.",she looks to the boys and places her hands on her hips,"So that means all of you better behave. That means no hitting on her, I don't want to make her uncomfortable." The boys, aside from Bakugo, all roll their eyes and frown at that rule but silently agree to follow it. The last thing they wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. Especially since you were so enjoyable to be around yesterday.
"Hey guys!"
They turn and the boys blink back to see you running towards them with a wide smile on your face. Your black pleated skirt sways in the wind and you wear an oversized hoodie, a collared shirt peaking from beneath it.
Oooo she looks so cute...
The boys look to Mina when she clears her throat and shoots them glares. Kaminari rolls his eyes, they stop their drooling. Bakugo exhales deeply and scratches his head, averting his gaze fairly quickly.
You reach them and hold your small coin purse, they just now notice its a frog coin purse. "Thanks for inviting me guys." Mina walks towards you with her usual friendly smile.
"Of course! Now lets get going shall we.",she bumps her hip with yours and Bakugos eyes glance to you just to see the quick pained expression on your face. But it leaves as quickly as it came.
You all walk down the streets together and you can't help but feel normal and happy alongside them. Sure the thoughts lingered in your mind but you'd deal with them alone, as you always did.
"So where did you come from anyway?",Sero asks while resting his hands behind his head. You look to him with a soft smile while attempting to be vague about your origins.
"I live in the city but I was homeschooled, up until I was accepted into U.A.",you respond and Sero blinks back while slinging am arm around your shoulder.
"Woah really? So you've never been to a school until U.A?",you nod in response and he clicked his tongue with a surprised expression riddled across his face. You feel chills run up your spine and you look back, not minding Seros arm around your shoulder.
When you stop abruptly Sero does as well. The others have continued walking. "What happened?" When Sero asks this everyone turns to look at you as you look around. Your eyes narrow and lips pursed, you shook your head and Seros arm off of you and walked ahead. "Nothing." You lied.
Truth be told you never got chills. But ever since you were little you got chills whenever you knew someone was watching you, sometimes. Sometimes you didn't notice. For now you didn't wanna ruin the day with your silly feelings so you continued on walking, everyone following suite after sharing a look.
Soon enough you all sat inside the BBQ restaurant and you sat on the stool, swinging your legs you puffed your air full of cheeks as Bakugo prepared the meat. You never had korean BBQ but you hoped it was as good as everyone says it is.
Bakugo looked at you and noticed the wide smile on your face and the way you fidgeted in your seat. His eyes narrowed slightly and he shoved you,"Jeez can you stop moving, pissing me off!" You frown and smack him upside the head with a scowl.
"Don't touch me, asshole!",Ashido stifles a laugh behind her hand. Bakugo looks at you with a sharp glare.
"Don't hit me woman!",you begin to attract the attention of a few people in the BBQ place as Bakugo shouts back at you. You roll your eyes and grab a few pieces of meat before Bakugo can grab them and you stuff your face angrily. He raises his hand at you but stops abruptly when your face falls into a warm and enjoyable smile.
Sero grins and laughs,"I've never seen somebodys emotion change so damn quickly." Bakugo notices the blush rising to your cheeks as you eat the food happily.
The rest of the meal goes smoothly as you all laugh and enjoy each others presence. Eventually you all leave the restaurant, full and in a good mood. While walking down the street Bakugo looks at you as the others joke and laugh ahead. The sky is a beautiful swirl of orange, purple, and blues as the sun begins to set along the horizon.
Your hands are folded in front of you, holding onto your small frog coin purse. You don't notice Bakugo staring at you but chills run up your spine once more only when he looks away. You shake your head and decide its best to listen to your body this time.
But looking ahead you don't want to embarrass yourself in case you're wrong.
"Hey guys!",you call ahead and stop. They all stop along with you and look at you curiously,"I need to get some utilities from the shop down the road, I'll catch you guys later?" Kirishima frowns and places his hands on his hips.
"You don't want one of us to go with you?",he raises a brow and you shake your head with a smile.
"I want some alone time. The Sports Festival and today has just been...a lot. But its a good way! I'll be fine.",you reply back. The friends share a look before Kaminari points finger guns at you.
"Be back before curfew or you'll be in big trouble.",he warns with a wink and you all bid each other goodbye. You turn in the opposite direction and walk down the road. You glance back to notice they have disappeared around the corner and you exhale deeply.
Bakugo rounds the corner and Kirishima cracks jokes at him. Bakugo can’t help but feel uneasiness in his stomach at letting you leave alone. But with a snort he ignores that feeling and continues on, back to U.A.
You walk down the pavement and glance around when you suddenly run into something hard. Looking up you let out a soft gasp and slowly step back. Your eyes meet the glowing blue ones of Dabi’s.
Stepping back a soft hand is clamped over your mouth and you are dragged back into an alleyway. Your eyes widen as you are dragged through a swirl of purple.