Brody is a pretty chill person. No really she is. She knows how to have fun, and let loose. It's her fucking panic attacks that make people think other wise. She doesn't get them often, enough to be diagnosed, but when she does it isn't pretty. Like the one she's currently having.
It was stupid too. Clementine just woke up before her and went to check on AJ as she always does. Clementine does this every day, and she has no problem. For some reason this morning, though, when she didn't hear or feel Clem next to her, her mind went straight to that bad place. God damn her brain for doing this to her.
All she wanted to do was wake up and go about her day, doing things she normally does. Talk to all her friends, and have some laughs, but no. She has to calm herself down before anyone sees her freaking the fuck out over nothing. Or is it really nothing? Clem could actually be hurt, you know. She has one fucking leg, she could've fallen. Or worse. She could've fallen on something and injured herse-
No. Stop it right there. She isn't hurt. No she's fine. Clem is fine. This is just her brain playing a trick on her. That'd all this is. Clem knows how to take care of herself even with the missing limb. She's fucking fine.
Clem may be fine but Brody surely isn't. She's sat up in bed, or well hunched over in bed, hands over her ears trying to keep those bad thoughts out. Trying to keep her breathing under control. She doesn't want what happened last time to happen again. If she passes out again, who knows how long it'd be before someone finds her. She hopes she doesn't hurt anyone either. That girl's nose was practically shattered by the time someone got to them. She felt bad that day.
OK thinking about past panic attacks is certainly not helping with this one. Now she's just thinking about how everyone thinks she's some psycho. God are they only friends with her just so she doesn't hurt them? Do they think she's some bad person-
No, OK stop Brody. Stop and think and breath. What did mom say to do when this happens?
Oh right Brody's mom. Her mom was always there for her when these episodes happened. She always knew what to do, how to calm her. How to get her to laugh and smile and forget why she was panicking in the first place. The school's therapist said that this type of thing can be inherited or something. Brody does remember seeing her mom calming herself down, and it did explain the medicine bottle she found in her room. Explained how her mom could calm her so well. She misses her mom. Especially right at the moment.
Damn it now she's crying. Jesus, this is going to be a bad one isn't it? That's fine, all she needs to do is to not think and keep breathing. It'll be fine. It's all gonna be fin-
The sound of the door opening makes Brody jump. She sees Clementine walk, crutch, inside their room. Seeing her smiling face helped quench some of her building anxiety, but not enough. She's still shaking and crying, but hey at least she can finally breathe.
When her eyes land on the sobbing girl, Clem's smile goes away, and worry sets in. She crutches her way to the bed the auburn haired girl is currently panicking her ass off on. She stands there for a moment, thinking of what her next course of action should be to help. Clementine sits down on the bed, not too close but close enough for Brody to feel her presence but also having her needed space.
Clem has seen Brody have a panic attack before. Sure she wasn't any help then, but she's learned. She got Ruby and Aasim's help to find any and all books on how to help someone. She even asks Ruby how to help Brody specifically. And yeah, sure she prepared and learned how to help and all that, but it's different when it's actually happening. Because one wrong move, and then you made the attack that much worse.
So Clem did what she was told by Ruby. To sit close by and stay silent for a while. That way Brody can get used to someone being there, but also be able to take comfort in the person. And it seemed to work, Brody's breathing isn't as rushed as when she first walked in. That's good progress.
They said the girl had a tell of when it was alright for someone to start speaking. That whenever she takes her hands off her ears, she was ok enough to talk. So when she slowly started to take her shaky hands away from her ears, Clementine had already thought of a topic to talk about. A distraction topic, as Ruby liked to call it. She said it usually consisted of something Brody liked. Clem decided to go with flowers.
"Flowers are starting to bloom. You can start making those flower crowns again."
Brody looks at the brunette, making some noise to show she's listening to what she's saying. So Clem continues.
"I've seen some pink ones growing around the gate. I even convinced Ruby to put in a section in the green house just for you."
Even though her breathing got back to, relative, normal and her tears dried, Brody's whole being was still shaking. At least she was better than earlier. That's all that matters to Clementine.
"We can arrange a time to go out and pick them. Maybe you can even teach me how to make one." Clementine smiles just from the idea, and the fact that Brody's eyes seemed to light up at being able to teach her. "Can probably make a whole thing out of it. Can even get AJ in on it. He's always down to learn new things, wouldn't put it past him to ask you to show him how to do it too."
"Wh-what's his favorite co-color?"
Clementine was surprised by the whisper that comes from her girlfriend, but she's able to hide it. "I don't know honestly."
"We can-we can find out. We can use the flowers to find out."
"Yeah we could. Line them up, and see which one he takes to more." Talking about doing this got the auburn haired girl excited.
Brody shifts so she can get closer to the brunette, more progress. "I can teach him and, and he can use his favorite. Maybe he can hang it up in his room."
'Mmhm, he does love putting everything up on his wall, doesn't he?"
This causes the girl to snort. Good laughter means that she's not thinking about whatever caused her attack. She shuffles closer to the brunette. "He does. He's got a bunch of rocks in his room too."
"He kept them because they're shiny. Also because he can use them as weapons in case anyone bad comes while we are sleeping."
Brody starts to laugh harder. "Smart."
They are lulled into silence for a few moments. Brody wipes her tears, seeming to have come down from her attack. She sits there, picking at her fingers before speaking up again.
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
"You don't have to apologize." Clementine gently places her hand over Brody's, stopping her from picking at them longer. "Whatever caused this, you're perfectly valid in feeling."
The girl looks down at their hands before looking back up at the brunette, a vulnerable look in her eyes.
"Can I, can I hug you?"
Clementine opened her arms for Brody to embrace herself in, which she does. Smushing her face into Clem's shoulder, Brody clutches the brunette's shirt as if her life depended on it. Clem can feel rather than hear the auburn haired girl's sigh of relief. Her body started to relax, and become less tense as the hug went on.
Brody thought that her mom was the best at calming her down, but it seems as if she found someone who was just as good.