Prologue
Prologue
I feel my heart slam against my chest with each agonizing beat. It leaves an ache with every pause, but before I can even register that pain, my heart slams down again. I bite my lip, holding back any noise— any cry or whine or ache my body begs me to release. Somehow, I have gone unnoticed.
Just moments before, I had walked into my apartment. My home. I had gotten off just a few hours earlier than usual, only to find my fiancé with another woman. Wrapped up in our bed together.
My whole body trembles as tears I cannot hold back slide down my cheeks, I watch through the gap in the door. He lays on his back, with his mistress atop of him. He moves so gently, his normally tan body looking so pale against her tawny skin, making his hands stand out as he runs them up and down her curves. Caressing her. He moved them up her toned back, slowly, into her thick black hair, pulling her head down for a passionate kiss.
She moved back up, and he continued to caress her thighs, whispering sweet nothings as she moved her hips rhythmically on him. Both of them let out soft moans with her movements.
It hits me, this is not some random fuck, a fling or some random ‘friends with benifets’ relationship. This was intimate.
Two lovers tangled together.
I feel dizzy as I snap back, watching him move, interrupting her hypnotic dance to switch places. He rolls over her, placing himself on top of her body. She looks so small under him now. I watch him lean down, kissing her while he moves inside her.
I feel my body beg me to move, to burst into the room, scream, shout, beg. Anything but stand at watch. Anything but this.
I close my eyes, pushing the door closed until I hear it click shut. The room that had previously been filled with heavy breathing and breathless moans finally going silent. I turn towards the living room, everything in my head dying, everything feeling light, like I was floating to the chair before I slump down. I feel numb, and yet at the same time on fire- I feel my blood boil the longer I wait. The longer he stays in the room with her, instead of coming out to see me.
Seven years- gone. GONE. There was no more ‘love story’. No future ‘Lorelei and Matthew Green’. I would not be walking down the aisle to my future husband in just a few months— I wouldn’t be married in a few months with the possibility of kids in the next couple of years, and there certainly wouldn’t be a house together in our future. He ruined it. All of it.
What was I going to do?? I melt further into my chair, hands covering my tear stained face.
“L-Lori?” He finally spoke, moving towards me. The floor creaking with each step. “I didn’t realize you’d be home so early— I just got up so—“
“Get out.” I whisper harshly, not moving from my sulking position.
“What? You’re so quiet I can’t hear you— “ He forces a soft chuckle, attempting to touch my shoulder.
“I saw everything. You, her, all of it. Get out.” I hiss, throwing myself up right, he stumbles back. I wonder what he saw just them- Sadness? despair? Anger? All of my feelings that feel like they must be swirling in my eyes. My pink, and puffy eyes- my tear stained cheeks. God I must look so pathetic. It just makes me angrier.
“Lori- don’t be like this I— “
”NO!” I roar “Don’t ’Lori’ me.” I seeth, glaring straight into his hazel eyes. His eyes looked as if I had been the one to betray him. Confused, desperate. It all just pushed me further into my rage. My eyes wandered down his body— He hadn’t even bothered to get dressed, just some boxers. At least he didn't come out with a hard-on. I don’t know if I could hold myself back from the edge if he had.
Still- he had no remorse. He only looked panicked, as if he was a child getting caught stealing a cookie from the jar, right after being told ‘no’. He was not hurt, not scared of losing me. Not sad that he had hurt me. Just concerned for himself— or worse. For her.
“Get. Out.” I spat, pushing past him and making my way towards my bedroom.
“Wait-wait-wait!! Lori baby-“ He moves, trying to push his way in front of me, failing horribly. I swing the door open, revealing the now, half naked girl. She squeals, falling to her knees trying to cover her chest— which was already covered by her black lacy bra.
I almost want to ask if she knew, if she knew the whole time. But she wouldn’t be hiding away while he comes to console me if she didn’t. I fight the urge to roll my eyes, and turn to him.
“I am done- we are done. Have fun being single. Or whatever you want to be. But you need to get. Out.” My voice wavers slightly as I try to demand him out of my life— and it works. The panic and fight leaves his eyes, his body relaxes. He has given up. He really didn't put up much of a fight, and I know my mind had been made up. But it still hurts to know I wasn’t worth more. I suppose if I was worth more, he wouldn’t have cheated to begin with.
He stares for a moment, before pushing past me. He kneels down beside her cowering body. I swallow- I try to swallow down all of the anger but as he touches her body, so gently, I break.
“OUT!” I scream, swiping a lamp off the dresser I stood next to. It shatters on the floor. “I don't care if you’re naked, get out.” They look at me for a moment, maybe too afraid to move. But after a few seconds of silence, the both of them stand, picking up their clothes, and they leave. Awkwardly trying to cover their bodies as they shut the door behind them.
I let out a breath as I fall to my knees, glass digging into my skin. Shakily, I pick up each large piece of glass. I flinch, cutting myself as I hear a loud, hard bang against the front door. I sit there for a long while, blood spotting the ground as I stare at the floor.
What was I going to do now?
God, I was going to have to replace my bed, throw it away, burn it— or he could just keep it.
Everything felt like a blur after that. Night turns to day, and days to weeks, the world spun around me, without me. Matthew had reached out for his things- and I gave them to his parents.
I was alone. And I don’t want to be alone.
Suddenly, I stand in front of a house, states away from where I once called home. With a trembling hand I ring the bell. Hoping maybe, just maybe, someone will answer at 1 am.
I wait a while before trying again, sniffling and curling up in my coat that seems to be just a bit too thin. I hadn’t realized it would be so chilly so far south, even with it being winter. I was always told it was hot year-round.
I can accept that there isn’t any snow, and when it does, there wouldn’t be nearly as much as Michigan winters.
I reach my hand out again, deciding to only try one more time before I give up. I could just sleep in my car— but before I plan my night, I am cut off by the door opening. A small silhouette standing in the doorway.
”L-Lori?!” I stare into my friends' big green eyes, looking shocked, and a bit dishevelled. Her brown hair is a frizzy mess, her body barely covered by a robe and a silky tank top pajama set.
I stay quiet, hoping to find a way to explain everything. Why I’m here, what’s wrong, but when I open my mouth, all that comes out is a pitiful sob. “S-Sadie…” I blubber out her name, trying desperately to wipe each tear as it falls.
I wonder if she thinks I look a bit like a toddler— I mean, I do. I look like a baby crying big bubbling tears, without explanation. I sniffle as she puts her hand on my back, leading me into her home.
Abruptly, I am awake, memories from nearly a year ago haunting my dreams. I feel the raging stress headache creeping in as I sit up from my bed. After that day with Sadie, I packed everything up and moved just outside of Roseville— the town she lived and worked in.
I had canceled all wedding plans, getting any money I could back, all of the deposits were made by me anyways. The entire wedding would have been funded by my savings and any inheritance money I had gotten from my grandmother after her passing, and she left me enough to pay for a massive wedding, a house- even a business. Which I started in Roseville. And still have savings left to do it all over again if I so pleased.
‘Lorie’s Cafe’, a simple name for the simple coffee shop and bakery. Something I had already planned to open, after my honeymoon. I guess it was opened after what would have been my honeymoon.
I shake away the feelings of the past year, stretching and removing myself from the bed. I get dressed lazily, throwing on a simple outfit before meandering into the kitchen. I fill a glass with tap-water, and chug it.
I move to start my coffee but am interrupted by the phone. An older peach colored rotary dial phone mounted on the wall of my kitchen. It was just too cute to replace, so I used it.
”Hey Sadie” I answer, already knowing who it is before they can speak.
”You always know it's me.” She giggles.
”You’re the only person who calls.” I huff, and although it is an exaggeration, it's not necessarily a lie.
”That’s a problem— one I’m willing to fix. Walleyes? 7 o’clock?”
”With you— or are you setting me up on a date? Again?” I roll my eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips. Even if I am not sure if I’m ready, it's nice to know she cares. She wants to see me happy.
”Well, it's with me, but I was going to talk to you about a date— I started to get to know the new guy, ya know the cute one? And I think you’d really like him.” She rambles, all of the words spilling out of her so quick, like if she took her time I’d hang up.
”The guy who started like, last year?” I laugh.
”Okay, maybe he’s not so new- but he’s starting to warm up to the girls and I, and I wanted to set a date up with the two of you before someone else snatches him up.”
”I promise I am not that desperate- but if it makes you happy I will consider it.” I smile, leaning my back against the counter top.
”Really?!” She squeals “Oh my gosh!! I’ll call him! Maybe he can meet you tonight—“
”-Wait wait wait” I laugh again “Before he replaces you tonight, at least tell me his name again? I can’t just ask him if he’s ’the cute guy that works with Sadie’”
”Right-right.” She breathes, and it feels like maybe it's the first time she’s actually taken a breath in the past minute. “His name is Jed— Jed Olsen, he writes almost everything about the recent killings”
”Jed.” I repeat, hoping to remember it, hoping to ignore her last statement. I didn’t want to focus on the recent killings— at least not this early and not before coffee. “Alright, I think I can meet him there around 7 if he’s interested.” I scold, hoping she won't push this poor man into a date he doesn’t want to go on.
“Great!” She almost squeals the word “I actually already talked to him— he is fine to get drinks with you sometime. He even said you were pretty—“
”—He knows what I look like??” I cut her off, straightening myself. Did she show him a picture or something? Does she even have pictures of me?
”Yeah- he’s gotten coffee from your cafe before and I told him you were the blonde girl.” She laughs, knowing unless my only part-timer was working, I was alone. And I doubt he thought a teenage boy named Kyle would be his date.
”Jeez Sadie, you’re so descriptive.” I roll my eyes, relaxing against the counter again.
”Well, when you see him- he’s got brown hair and really really blue eyes. Like, ice blue. They’re kinda intense at first.” She giggles.
”Is ice even blue?” I laugh, and I can hear the eye roll.
”Just imagine the lightest blue you can, and those are his eyes.”
“Mhm, okay- well why don’t you call my blue-eyed suitor, and I’m going to make myself some coffee.”
She squeals out what I assume is a goodbye, before hanging up the phone with a loud click.