Wild
Ann Walker was sat inside the sitting room of Shibden, drawing in her sketchpad when Marian came inside hurriedly,
“Where’s Anne?”
“What am I, her keeper?” Ann quirked an eyebrow and Marian looked at her for a second, tilting her head with a frown,
“Well, aren’t you?”
“Um no not really.” Ann retorted and Marian stared at the blonde,
“But you know where she is?”
“Urgh, she’s outside waiting for…” Ann stopped as her shoulders tensed visibly at the sound of a carriage, Marian craned her neck to look out and then heard Ann mumble,
“that bitch.”
“I take it you haven’t warmed much to Mrs. Lawton?” Mariana said amused, and Ann blushed slightly at being heard, but shook her head,
“Well, it didn’t go great last time, did it? And besides she is so mean to Anne – I don’t know why they are even friends still.”
“Beats me. I don’t like her either.”
“I’m going out for a few hours.” Ann told Marian putting her sketchpad under her arm,
“Alrighty, but, wait – through the window?”
“That’s the only way I’ll get past them without needing to talk to her.” Ann defended herself, and she looked positively wild when she readied herself to escape through the window. Marian left the door open, and went to open the front door, and Ann could hear Anne’s voice,
“Is Ann in here?”
“Uh, you know what…” Marian stalled for a few seconds as Ann threw herself out the window,
“She just left.”
“Really too bad we should miss, Miss Walker.” Mrs. Lawton said but didn’t sound so sorry, and Marian put on a strained smile, as she noticed Ann creeping up to the window to retrieve her pencil,
“Yeah…”
Ann ran off behind the house and Marian looked at the people stood in front of her again,
“Sorry.”
Ann could still hear them talk as she ventured on the backside of the house, or more she heard them laugh and it tore through her – she really didn’t like Mrs. Lawton. She always unnerved her in a bad way. Because she constantly insulted and talked down to her.
Ann walked to the pits, and then continued away to the glen nearby, it was by the burn and she thought the water calming and soothing to her turbulent inner. She couldn’t help it. She trusted Anne with her life – it was Mariana she didn’t trust. Not even with a strand of her hair. Not at all. She was cunning and devious. A devil in disguise. Anne had asked her if she was alright with Mariana coming to stay for a day and Ann had said that she might do as she like but in a way that Anne should have known better than to invite that goat to stay. Ann slumped down by the bank and huffed.
“How is this always how it ends? Me alone in the fucking forest.”
Ann couldn’t help it, her head was full of images of possible scenarios in her absence but rather she was away than having to listen to all of Mariana’s sleezy comments and disgusting flirting. What if she was right, Mariana would always have a foot in?
“Ah here we go… my trail of thought or as I like to call it – the anxiety express.” Ann muttered to no one but herself, bringing her sketchpad to the light. It was nice to be out in the wilderness and she decided to draw some wildflowers, but she couldn’t focus, a certain brown-eyed idiot was on her mind. After five hours Ann gave up, whilst it was nice sitting out in the wild – it was getting cold and there was no sign of her wife. Ann rolled her eyes,
“No, she hasn’t time for you – she has her friend over… her stupid, idiot friend who should do better on the other side of the earth – even that would be too close.”
Ann made it back to Shibden in time for dinner, actually she was a little late, but no one seemed to notice but Marian and Aunt Anne – in conclusion the one person who should’ve noticed were deeply engrossed in a conversation about something with Mrs. Lawton and Mrs. Lawton had taken Ann’s seat. It shouldn’t have bothered Ann, she should’ve just swallowed it, but bile rose in her throat and she though silent about it – went wild in her mind.
‘That bitch.” Ann thought angrily as she sat down next to Aunt Anne who was much more aware of Ann’s peace of mind than Anne. She took hold of her hand and squeezed it sympathetically and Marian gave her a kind look from across the table, mouthing the word,
‘Bitch’ with a nod towards Mrs. Lawton and Ann had to bite her lip not to laugh. But suddenly she was at the centre of attention with Mrs. Lawton who gave her a look,
“I heard what you thought of my ordeal with -, why, from what you’ve been saying it sounds like you’ve been telling everyone I’m an idiot!”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Ann looked at the woman who seemed to smirk at her submission but then Ann smiled,
“I didn’t know it was a secret.”
Marian hit her fist against the table, and then covered her mouth not to laugh and Aunt Anne took her hand under the table shaking it with vigour. Ann stared down Mrs. Lawton and she could see Anne was doing her best not to let any feelings show on her face, but she winked at her quickly and Ann felt wild.
“Now I’m going to bed, before we say something we might regret.” Ann said, throwing her napkin on the table,
“She’s not even seven?” Mrs. Lawton questioned with a certain mockery and Ann smiled,
“Time isn’t real.”
Ann had come to the doorway when she heard Mrs. Lawton exclaim to the others,
“She sure is an odd one? Wherever did you find her? At a mad house?”
“What’s your problem?” Ann came back inside, her eyes looking positively wild, and Mariana looked up shocked but then threw her a mean glance, but Ann wouldn’t wield, she stood firmly in front of her not to be moved,
“Now tell me. Because you seem to have no problem doing it to them. If you have an opinion don’t be so weak as not stand by it when faced with it. Tell me what’s your problem?”
“My problem? Now calm down there, Miss Walker – I’d say it is you who have a problem. This is… you’re wild.” Mariana spewed and Ann raised an eyebrow,
“Maybe I am, but here’s the thing; I won’t be talked down to or belittled in my own home. Yes, and I don’t care about your claim that you’ve known Anne for longer because all you’ve ever done to her is use her for your own egoistic amusement. You should be ashamed the way you’ve treated her and other people around you! I might be wild and mad or whatever attribute you’d like to assign me, but it is far better than being a cold heartless bitch!”
The rooms occupants seemed stunned into silence by Ann’s sudden courage and fierceness but eventually Mariana found her voice,
“How dare you!? And what if I’m a little reserved towards you – you aren’t good enough for her in any case – she’ll get bored of you – I know she will – I have known her since she was seventeen. You will mean nothing to her then.”
“Oh, I dare, and I will. You made your choice, in fact you made it twenty years ago. You can’t have the cake and eat it too. You have sown the whirlwind and you will reap it. I don’t know about you but I cherish my friendships and the people around me with love. I’m not embarrassed by them and I don’t bully them. You don’t even deserve her friendship – how you have kept it is beyond me. Toxic is what it is, and I suppose it’s got to do with the childhood trauma of never being loved.” Ann hissed and Mariana frowned,
“I don’t have any childhood trauma!”
“I wasn’t talking of you. Anyway, I’ll retire, and I hope you have a nice journey away from here tomorrow morning.” Ann gave her a pointed look and no chance to retort but she daren’t glance at Anne before venturing upstairs. When Ann closed the door to the bedroom the lump in her throat made it hard to breath and she bit her fist not to let out any sobs, but the tears leaked down her cheeks anyway. Maybe she was right, maybe eventually, Anne would tire of her and discard of her. Ann didn’t even undress, just lay down on bed, with her face pressed to the pillow as she cried herself to sleep.
Ann woke up in the middle of the night from soft kisses being pressed to her cheek and to the corner of her mouth. Ann turned, squinting in the dark and saw Anne lying next to her in bed, she took her hand and pressed another kiss to her knuckles,
“You’re here.” Ann mumbled sleepily, and she smiled,
“Where else would I be, Ann?”
“I…” Ann trailed off and Anne frowned,
“Don’t even say it. Don’t even think it. I would never trade what I have with you for that. I thought you were brave today. She got exactly what she deserved.”
She felt new kisses peppered on her face and she lifted her lips to meet Anne’s.
“I was afraid that I overstepped the mark.”
“Oh, you did, and you did so brilliantly. I am perhaps a little ashamed of how on point you were with that remark about my childhood trauma.” Anne said softly, lying close, and Ann blushed,
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No but you should, it made me realise what tied me to her for so long even when she was a right down…”
“Bitch?”
“Mm, just so. It’s because I had issues with my mother.”
“Still I ruined dinner.” Ann whispered ashamed and Anne kissed her fondly,
“Ruined it? I don’t think my father, aunt or Marian have ever had a nicer meal with Mary, they all hate her.”
“They do?”
“Mm.”
“That’s why your aunt shook my hand so hard I thought it would fall off.” Ann chuckled and Anne laughed, and kissed her nose,
“Yes, and I would’ve too but…”
“You don’t want to fall out with her.” Ann muttered bitterly and Anne stroke her cheek,
“I’d rather not. But only because it’s such a fuss to do so. She is leaving first thing tomorrow and then she won’t be back – probably ever.”
“I hate how she talks to you more than the way she belittles me. She is so mean. What she says to you and how she insults you all the time.” Ann told Anne stroking her cheek and the woman smiled,
“You are such a dear for looking out for me. I thought you were magnificent when you defended me. You always complain that you aren’t brave, but you have a stronger backbone than any of us.”
“Which is highly ironic.” Ann muttered and Anne laughed before kissing her again,
“Mm, now, how are you? You’ve been crying, I can tell. Your lips taste salty.”
“It was just the wild emotional overload of that fight and everything really. She makes me feel as if I’m not enough – and then I worry there is some truth to what she says.”
“That I will tire of you?” Anne asked kindly and Ann nodded biting her lip, and the brunette sighed and embraced her and brought her closer to her chest, kissing her over the hair,
“I could never tire of you. I love you! Do you know, my uncle told me once – he said, ‘Annie, find yourself someone who deserves you and who makes climbing mountains a poor adventure in comparison’ and you are that person. I don’t even deserve you; you are amazing, excellent and I cannot believe some days that you put up with me – that you agreed to love me forever and that you married me. You are far more deserving than anyone.”
“I love you too, Anne. You are my one and only adventure.”
“I’m happy to be. Now let’s get you out of these clothes so you might sleep without waking up to a sore back and neck.”
“Is this when we make-up and make you one heck of a journal entry for the morrow?” Ann smirked and Anne laughed gaily and kissed her soundly,
“Yes – this is why, this is why you are the truest and greatest adventure of my life!”