The English Tutor

Josie was never good at following directions. As much as she knew they were there to protect her she also knew some rules were just meant to be broken. She ran away from her foster homes when they were supposed to be safe, and she ran away from Hope when the girl was the safest person she knew. Of course, Josie decided against what Keelin told her and she made her way downstairs to see what was going to happen. 

Josie refused to let the man see that he broke her, she refused to let him win this battle. The battle that started the day he tried to break her. This was a battle that started years ago and Josie intended on doing everything in her power to come out victorious. Josie made it back down with her family who was peacefully enjoying the evening. 

"Hey love," Hope wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. "My aunt Keelin said you needed me."

"No." Josie instantly regretted her answer. "Yes, I need you but just for support. Things are about to go crazy." 

"What do you mean?" 

Josie wanted to answer Hope, she really did want to give Hope a warning about the situation but Alaric lunging himself at Finn snapped all the guests' attention. Josie along with Hope rushed over to see what they could do to help. Everyone had become aware of why Alaric was throwing punches at the second oldest Mikaelson. 

"Klaus do something!" Both Hayley and Caroline yelled. 

"Right." Klaus got closer to the two men exchanging punches. Klaus swung at his brother landing a punch right on his jaw. "That is for breaking my daughter's heart and taking her friend."  Klaus looked over at his wife and Caroline who had an annoyed look on their faces. "What you said to do something. I did something." 

Josie broke free from Hope. She knew the police wasn't far but she was also aware by the blood that Finn had just spit that she had to step in and make sure her father didn't kill Finn. Josie stood between the two men despite all the yelling directed at her. She stood between her father and the man that has taken her. She wanted to laugh at the irony she was defending the very man that had caused her so much pain.

"Josie move." Alaric order. 

"No." Josie stood her ground. She could see the tears that Alaric was fighting. His chest kept rising from his breathing. She was not about to let him to go jail for assault which Josie knew no one would blame him for killing Finn. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm safe he won't hurt me again." Josie let out a frustrated groan when Alaric tried to push past her and grab Finn. She shoved him back. No one stepped in they knew Alaric was blinded by the anger to be reasoned with. Alaric tried to get past her again. Josie threw herself at her father and wrapped her arms around him. Clinging onto him desperately. 

"Daddy please." The pleading words were involuntary. Josie hadn't called either of her parents by their title. She always addressed them by their name or Mr. and Mrs. Saltzman. 

Alaric looked at her daughter in awe. Josie had called her dad. The word took him back to the last time she called him daddy, to the last time he happily said goodbye to her and promise to see her the next time. It took him back to when he held his sweet little girl in his arms and promised her she would always be safe. He had lied, she was taken from them and he knew Josie's life wasn't safe after that. 

The party was brought to an end, anyone that wasn't family left the event. Josie watched as her parent and Hope's parents talked with Freya and Elizabeth. Josie knew they were probably talking about what they should do with Finn and how to proceed. 

"How are you feeling love?" Josie asked Hope. The Mikaelson teenager had not stopped crying since her uncle was taken. 

"I'm so sorry Josie." 

"It's not your fault." Josie sat next to Hope and pulled her closer. She placed a kiss on Hope's cheek. Josie comforted the crying girl. Once Hope was done crying, Josie and Hope went to join their parents. Hayley was doing her best to comfort Caroline while Alaric and Klaus talked with Freya and Keelin. 

Josie zoned all the voices out. Everyone had a different opinion on what should be happened but of course, the priority to them was getting Josie down to the police station to testify. It was decided that Freya would take her down. She was the lawyer of the family and it was no secret Josie trusted her.

Josie walked out quietly knowing very well that Hope was going to be looking over the twins, before she reached Freya's car she hears a small yell. Josie smiled at her daughter. 

"It's okay Hope." Josie picked the little girl up once she reached her side. "You're going to come with mommy baby?" 

"Always mommy." Josie leaned her forehead on Elliot's. Josie never understood how her daughter always sensed her sadness. Since Elliot was a child she would sense when Josie felt uneasy. It was as if their souls were connected one always feeling the others' pain. Josie fixed her daughter in the car seat and got into the car. 

     Testifying had taken a toll on Josie, but she didn't show it. She went into the room gave her statement talked with the officers and learned that as much as everyone wanted Freya to be the lawyer on the case everyone agreed she was too close and attached too personally to the person the case was against. They left the choice up to Josie. The teenager placed her full trust in Freya, but ultimately she let Freya make the final choice.

Josie avoided most of the adults in the following week. She only talked with Freya when the blonde would call her to discuss what was needed for the trial. Freya was hard at work trying her best to gather all the evidence that was needed for the beginning of the trial. They would be having their first hearing in two weeks, which to everyone's liking was too long. 

Josie buried herself in schoolwork, taking care of her kids, and focusing on her girlfriend but when Hope would try and talk about what was going on Josie would make an excuse to leave. She would tell Hope she was needed by Lizzie, or when Josie was too tired to make an excuse she would excuse herself and tell her girlfriend she was going on a walk. Josie even skipped her appointments with Camille. Josie wasn't sure anyone could help her with what was going on in her mind. Even if Camille had a degree the woman could never truly understand the chaos in the teenager's inner thoughts.

Two days before the trial was going to begin Josie found herself standing on the dock of a lake. Josie had found the lake when she was ten. She would sneak off from her foster home when they would get too chaotic. She would sit at the dock and look at the water, let her mind run free. Or she would take a book and read it for as long as there was sun out.

Josie never brought herself to jump in. She didn't know how to swim, the water terrified her. Her fear was always more than just what would happen if her flight or fight didn't kick in. It was something Josie always considered irrational, but now it all made sense to Josie. She now understood why she feared the water, why when her kids would accidentally splash water in her face her heart would begin to race and her back would sting. Even if she didn't remember her past her body did. Her body held the memories that her mind had worked to hard to keep from her. 

Now it made sense to Josie. Her fear of water was reasonable. She now remembered, how much her body trembled when they would finally stop the simpler version of waterboarding that Finn did on her. She could still take herself back there to being hung by her hands and Finn would decide between simply throwing cold water on her and leaving her there shivering or if she was going to take a towel, cover her face and throw what seemed to be to Josie as an endless supply of water as her lungs filled with water but no matter how much she hoped she would drown she wouldn't. She would eventually cough up the water when he took the towel off her face.

Just like the final piece of the puzzle clicked in her brain and the dam finally broke Josie let go of the tears she had been holding in. She wrapped her arms around her waist and sobbed. Gasping to keep herself from choking on her own sobs. Her life was never meant to be her life. She should have never been a teenage mother, she should have never gotten beaten to the point of nearly passing out for the first time when she was seven or learned to not show her emotions to others because it led to her being called weak or too emotional or an attention seeker. She should have never bounced around from home to home wondering why no one ever wanted her. Why she wasn't good enough to be love. She was just a kid who wanted answers. Every horrible event in her life was never meant to happen. 

She was supposed to have her twin sister by her side growing up. They were supposed to scheme together just like her kids do and get into trouble, but they would be in trouble together. She was supposed to grow up with parents that loved her. She was supposed to be best friends with Hope and fall in love with her slowly, making their love story an epic love story. She was supposed to have access to food, a safe place to sleep in, and peace of mind. Her life was supposed to be a fairytale, not a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

She wasn't sure what took her over but she took that final step. Josie stepped off the dock and let herself sink. She didn't fight it, she made no effort to push herself back up. The darkness of the water wasn't as scary as she thought, it was actually peaceful. Josie found herself wanting to let the darkness win, at the moment the darkness seemed better than her life. The darkness was offering her peace that she knew she would not see until the trial came to an end and even then she would have to deal with the aftermath. With everyone's emotions and thought about what she is going to be going through.

"I got you." Said the voice that saved her. Josie looked over to meet blue eyes. "Just breathe for me." 

Josie felt her body hit the wood. Seconds later her body shot up, she coughed the water up. Josie looked over to the man leaning over her. Concern was written all over his face.  

"What happened?" He asked. 

"I tripped," Josie lied. She couldn't tell this stranger that somehow her body took over and took the step for her when she didn't want to really do it. She just wanted to feel something. Anything but the aching on her chest. Or maybe she did want to do it, she wanted to see if she would fight for her life when the opportunity was in front of her.

"I'm glad I decided to take that detour," The man helped Josie up to her feet. "My name is Damon." 

"I'm Josie, thank you for saving me. I should get going my parents are probably getting worried." 

"Can I give you a ride?" 

"No thanks. I'll walk." Josie needed the forty minutes to let her clothes dry. She couldn't explain to Caroline, Alaric, or Lizzie why her clothes were soaked. 

Stepping into the house Josie made her way to the room. She quickly took a shower and changed. Taking the liberty to toss her semi-wet clothes into the washer. Josie glanced at her phone that had been dead when she arrived home. There were messages from Lizzie, Hope, and Landon. 

Josie replied to Landon letting him know the information about the twins that he wanted. Apparently, he was going to take them shoe shopping and clothes shopping he wanted to make sure he had the right sizes. Josie did not reply to Lizzie the text was letting Josie know they would be getting back home late and that there was food in the fridge. Josie read over the text Hope had sent her. Josie texted a simple good night assuring Hope she would see her at the trial. 

She tossed herself on the bed. Josie stared blankly at the roof. Who was she? Was she still Josie? or was she someone else? Was she this Josette that everyone had grieved for, was she this child that everyone love? Or had she made the whole thing up? Was she in some crazy dream that she would eventually wake up from? Was her life finally falling into place but only because it was falling apart?

"Who am I?" Josie whispered to herself. 

Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing felt real. Everything felt like it had been forced upon her. Like she was thrown into this role without her consent. She wasn't in control and she knew it. 

The teenager just wanted it all to stop. She wanted the pain to go away, the memories to stop coming back randomly, the nightmares. She just wanted her mind to stop and shut up for even just a second.