Chapter 1
I’ll bloom every night for you.
I love you.
Never before had a piece of paper felt so light and yet so heavy in someone’s hands. Her fingers traced over the words written by the au pair just hours before she left their bed for the last time. Jamie had slept so well that evening, it was the first time in months Dani hadn’t woken her up with a night terror. She now knew why. She read the short note over and over again as her hand slowly found its way to her mouth, muffling the wails she could feel rising through her chest. The paper flipped back and forth as realisation set in, all the while the gardener frantically searched for something she may have missed. An obsolete hope lingered that perhaps the blonde was just being romantic, leaving a short note for her soon to be wife to wake up to; but Jamie knew Dani, this wasn’t her usual style, she was a talker, not a writer. But words don’t travel through water the same, so a note would have to suffice.
Given that Jamie preferred to live one day at a time, she refused to give much thought to how they would inevitably say goodbye to each other. Subconsciously she thought, however naively, that Dani was different than the rest of Violas victims, god knows she was special in every other regard. In the end, a final meal or one last hug would have been too difficult for both women to stomach. Jamie simply couldn’t let Dani go on her own. So, the simple note, left in the dead of night was the only way the au pair could ensure her love would remain safe after her time had come. Jamie looked down to Dani’s side of the bed. The indent where she had lay was still there and a piece of blonde hair draped along the pillow. She collapsed into the indent and rocked herself back and forth, drowning in her scent and screaming to wake herself up from this nightmare.
Three hours before, fear suffocated their bedroom. Jamie slept peacefully, breathing softly under the shaking, almost grip of Dani’s hand. The inability to feel had extended past the au pairs mind and was working its way into her extremities. It wasn’t until the warmth of Jamie’s skin reached the tip of her fingers that the blonde was shocked back into her own body. Jamie was the only way she could regain her own sentience and overpower Viola. But the au pair didn’t know how long this would last. Until now there had been no physical enactments of her presence, only faint words and dreams that occupied her mind. But this was too far and Dani had promised herself, that as soon as Viola had any influence on her lover, that she had to call it quits. Dani slowly and shakingly, moved her hand from Jamie’s throat and moved it to cup her face. A light smile itched onto the sleeping face below her at her touch, and it nearly infected Dani as she watched her girlfriend breathe in and out in complete peace. There is no protocol for saying goodbye to the love of your life, and it hurt Dani too much to ever plan how she would do it. So, in the spur of the moment she quietly moved herself from their bed and reached onto Jamie’s bed side table where there was a pad and pen sitting underneath the book Jamie had fallen asleep reading the night before. Dani smiled as she moved the book from the gardener’s table. Wuthering Hights. She stroked the broken spine of the book and admired the different dog ears that the gardener had accumulated over the years. It was her favourite, she reread it every so often as it reminded her of the first proper interaction the pair had ever had at Bly, and their life up until now.
-------------
1987, Bly Manor
A loud clatter shook the greenhouse as a rake split through the brand new ceramic plant pot marking the entrance to the small glass building.
“Shit!” cursed the au pair as she dropped her torch, dislodging its batteries and frantically trying to salvage the soil and ceramic that surrounded her.
“What the fuck have you done?” Green eyes pierced through her own as she was illuminated by the gardener and her lantern, exposing the disaster. “I’ve just fucking planted that!” she continued.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry, I- I was trying to find, and I-, it came out of nowhere- I can fix it!” Dani stuttered almost every word as the guilt and embarrassment rippled through her body. The brunette bent down to salvage as much as she could while muttering under her breath.
“I am really so, so sorry.” Dani went on, “Flora did tell me to stay in my room tonight.”
“You probably should of listened to her then” Jamie snapped, slightly regretting it afterwards, she felt maybe she was being a little abrasive, but this was her latest rescue plant after all.
Dani prepared to make a quip back, but as a tiny drop of blood started to seep from the palm of her hand she thought she ought to choose her battles, especially on her first day.
“Yeah, I’m sorry” she trailed off as she applied a light pressure to the wound.
“What have you done?” Jamie asked.
“Oh, uh, nothing, I think I scraped it on the pot, or the rake or something.”
The gardener stood up with a light sigh and stuck her hand out to the smaller woman. “I’ve got plasters inside. C’mon, it’s part of the job.”
Dani smiled lightly, hoping her slight injury may have gotten her off the hook. She followed Jamie into the greenhouse which was far more welcoming than she had expected. As Jamie looked around for her make-shift first aid kit, the au pair visually explored one of the more homely places she had found so far in Bly. The low ceilings and benches draped in blankets contrasted the osterie building that towered behind it. The air was filled with floral scents mixed with smoke from a candle that was fading out in the corner. There was a small wooden table with an empty mug and a copy of a book laying spread open calling out to the ever curiouser woman. Dani picked it up, temporarily forgetting her manors towards her new surroundings. Wuthering Heights, not the book that she had been expecting from the gardener based off of first impressions, but nevertheless she found it intriguing.
Jamie cleared her throat to grab her attention, “Do you mind?” Dani quickly re-joined the room as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
“Oh, sorry!”
“You say that a lot.”
“I didn’t mean to pry”
“Hmm”
“I read this book in school, its uh, dark, the whole ghost thing kinda creeped me out”
“Of course it did” said Jamie flatly.
“They were sweet though, I mean it’s a good love story!”
“Mhmm” Jamie gestured for the babbling girl to extend her hand so she could patch up the cut.
“Why are you still here, its nearly midnight?” Dani questioned.
“Christ you’re nosey! I’m bandaging you up, that’s why I’m here!” she teased, “..and the pub downstairs from me are having a leaving do for some bloke and I don’t fancy dealing with piss drunk men outside my window havin’ a go.”
“Oh, yeah that sounds awful.” The American replied with as much empathy as possible for someone who grew up in the suburbs and had no real clue what that would be like.
“You not knackered from your first day?”
“Kinda, but I can’t sleep.”
“So the logical solution was to wreck my hard work?” Dani couldn’t quite decide if the gardener was joking or not, but she swore she could see a light smirk on her face.
“Maybe tomorrow I’ll come down and help you rake the field or something” Dani taunted, feeling brave.
“Think I’d rather chance my luck with another pot of your tea than let you near the garden again.” A smile had definitely grown on Jamie’s face and suddenly the new au pair could feel her anxiety dissolve. She pressed the plaster into her hand, feeling where the brunette’s fingers had laid seconds before. There was a small silence that fell between the two before either done anything next.
“I should go back to bed now, probably”
“Yeah, I’m heading home soon anyway.”
“Thanks” the blonde smiled, gesturing to her hand before heading towards the door of the greenhouse. “Oh, my names Dani, by the way, I’m sure Hannah told you already, but I guess this is, well uh a great first impression..” she trailed off.
“Jamie” She replied, finishing the sentence for her and shooting her a welcoming smile. Her eyes had softened in the time they had been talking.
Dani left with a small wave and wandered up the path towards the manor. She collapsed back into bed, feeling like she may now actually have the ability to sleep. She found herself wondering if the gardener was still reading by candlelight in the greenhouse and her hands met each other under the pillow, wrapping themselves in the places Jamie had touched not long before, until she drifted off to sleep.