Reggie eventually felt good enough to go back to class that day. It was the Friday leading up to winter break, so Willie called his parents after school and the group went to Julie’s house to have a conversation Reggie had been putting off. Not just in letting Julie and Alex know he was deaf, but Flynn didn’t know his whole story either and she needed to if she was going to want to deal with him anymore. When they got to the studio, he just dropped onto the ground. He expected the others to sit on the couch or something, but they all sat next to him, forming a little circle. Luke was next to him, Alex on his other side. Julie and Willie were beside them respectively, with Flynn across from him. Reggie started playing with the sleeves to his flannel. He did that when he got anxious, he had his leather jacket, a gift from his mom before she left when he was twelve, but he was just starting to fill it out. The flannel had been a present from Flynn the first Christmas they spent together. She saved up change for weeks to buy it. He managed to record a song for her in their old school as a present that year. It was low quality, just his voice and old acoustic guitar, but Flynn still listened to it all the time. She would tell him it reminded her what a survivor was like.
”Is he playing with his sleeves?” Flynn asked, pulling him from his thoughts.
”Yeah.” Luke answered, a fond smile on his face as he watched Reggie. Reggie found it hard not to blush when Luke directed that smile at him.
”Reg?” Flynn reached out her hand, Reggie took it immediately. “No matter what happens, I’m here. I’m always here for you. Found family, right?”
”Found family.” Reggie agreed, squeezing her hand before letting it drop. He took a deep breath, idly wondering how much of his story Willie already knew since his parents got a copy of his file when they were placed with them. “This is...well, it’s a long story. So I need you guys to just let me get through it.” He paused, seeing various nods. “When I was twelve, my mom left. My dad would make me smoke. You’re probably wondering how he could make me, and he just...he gave me an ultimatum. Smoke, or get burned when he put them out.” Reggie closed his eyes, lifting the hem of his t shirt up to show over a dozen burn marks along his ribs. “I said no at first, but I had to give in the longer it went on. And then it became the way I escaped him when he’d been drinking. I would hide in my room. Filling myself with my own poison, instead of poisoning someone else with my problems. They’re my problems. I knew in time the bruises he gave me would heal, but time wasn’t something I expected to have a lot of. On my thirteenth birthday, my dad was real drunk. Drunker than he’d ever been. He had brought home this old dog cage, and uh,” Reggie anxiously looked around the room, suddenly feeling too closed in. Willie waved Alex and Luke away from him, and Reggie focused on Willie.
”Do you need to go outside?” He saw Willie ask. He nodded frantically. Outside. Yes. Outside is good, outside is open. Reggie moved quickly, ahead of the others as he moved to Julie’s backyard. Everyone caught up quickly, sitting on the grass in a more open circle so they wouldn’t crowd him. Reggie felt guilty.
”I’m sorry.” He said quickly. “ I’m sorry I’m so difficult. These are my problems. Mine. I shouldn’t be trying to put them on you.” As he kept talking, he saw Flynn moving. She stopped in front of him, about a foot away. He watched her curiously.
”Reggie, these are our problems. You and me. I meant what I said when we first met, no matter what happens, no matter where we go or what we go through, we are in this together.” She held her arms out and Reggie fell into the hug. She squeezed him tightly, before softly pulling back to get him to look at her face, “You want me to hold you while you finish?” Reggie squeaked out a yes. Flynn maneuvered behind him, carding her fingers through his hair as the rest of them waited. Reggie could read their faces, and they were uneasy. As if understanding that he was feeling the uncertainty of continuing, Luke looked at Reggie.
”Tell us, Regs. We want to be here for you.” Julie and Alex quickly nodded, and if Reggie was more himself at the moment, he would point out that Alex grabbed Willie’s hand for comfort.
Reggie started again, cautiously aware of the other’s expressions, ”My dad always had a habit of locking me away. He would lock me in my room whenever he didn’t feel like dealing with me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was young, so he always said I was too much to handle. And sometimes I am. I know that. I can’t stop it, but I know. On my thirteenth birthday, he came home with a dog cage. He...he locked me inside it after I failed a history test. Yelling at me that I didn’t try hard enough.” Flynn’s fingers stopped for second as she processed the words, but she quickly took up the task again when she felt Reggie start to pull away hesitantly. “I did try. It’s just hard. I had a hard time focusing on the test. While I was in there, he started making so much noise. I still hear it sometimes. Which is impossible. He tossed the cage into our basement, with me inside it, and when I hit the bottom, something exploded. To this day I still don’t know what it was. I think my case worker said something about the water heater having reached critical and I ran into it. But whatever it was, it destroyed my hearing. I’m deaf now.” Reggie saw Alex take a sharp intake of breath, but Julie didn’t look surprised. “I can’t hear anything, but when I’m having a really bad day, I still hear that noise. So when the cigarette was knocked out of my hand today, I panicked. I thought I was back there because it was all I could hear.”
After a moment, Flynn spoke quietly. “That was why I had Alex drum on the fence. Reg can always differentiate between vibrations, so I knew it would help him register something else to ground him.”
An angry expression settled over Luke’s face, and though Reggie couldn’t hear him yell, he still flinched away from him when he shouted, “How can someone do that to their kid?” Julie sent a glare at Luke when she saw Reggie flinched, and he immediately settled down, a stricken look on his face as he apologized.
Reggie shook his head, “I know I can be difficult sometimes. I understand if this is too much for any of you.”
”Are you kidding?” Julie laughed sadly, “We’re with you, Reg. A band is a family, too, and we don’t turn away when our family needs us.” Alex nodded beside her before turning to look at Reggie directly, finally understanding why he faces people when they talk to him.
”Can I give you a hug?” He asked. Reggie hesitated for a second before he nodded, pulling slightly away from Flynn as Alex slowly approached him. As Alex’s arms wrapped around him, he felt the others wrap around him as well. A group hug. Reggie had never been a part of one of these before. He’d hugged Flynn and Willie at the same time, but this was different. This was a growing family.
As they pulled back, Julie placed her hands on Reggie’s shoulders, “Tell us what we can do to help you.”
Reggie’s brow furrowed. He never really thought about it. “I’m not good when someone moves too quickly when they’re near me. And it’s hard for me to understand why people laugh if I don’t see the joke, my brain decides they’re laughing at me. My dad used to laugh at me.” He said the last sentence quietly. “I really did quit smoking, but when I saw everyone whispering today it set off a switch in my head, telling me it was the only way to deal with it. I guess I just need reminders that people aren’t against me? And when I’m having a bad day, I don’t do well in small spaces.”
Julie nodded her head, a fierce expression on her face. “We can do that. We can do that and I promise, we are always with you.”
Christmas break was better after that day. Luke, Alex, and Julie did what they could to show Reggie he was welcome with them. Especially Luke, his heart hurt for the the darker haired boy and he wanted to protect him for the rest of his life. The day after Christmas, the group had agreed to meet up and exchange gifts. Willie’s parents had given each of them some money to get presents for each other and their friends. They also got his parents something. Reggie was practically bouncing his bag off his back as he entered the studio, something framed in his arms as he clutched it to his chest with a beaming smile. Luke couldn’t help but grin back. “What’s got you guys in such a good mood?” He asked, ignoring the feeling of jealousy that he wasn’t the one to make the boy smile like that. Flynn and Willie just watched with a grin as they sat next to Julie and Alex. Reggie bounced up to Luke, thrusting the frame into his hands. Luke raised an eyebrow. It was some kind of document, with a picture of Reggie, Flynn and Willie smiling in the corner. Luke eyes skimmed the words of the paper, as he tried not to stare at the boy in front of him radiating happiness. Eventually he had to give up, he didn’t understand what the paper was saying, just that it was talking about guardianship. He passed it to Julie, who skimmed the paper as well, but when she looked up with a smile that matched Reggie’s, Luke wished he could’ve understand.
”Is this for real?” Julie asked as she held the frame back out to Reggie, who clutched it back to his chest like it was the most precious thing in the world.
”Yeah.” Willie grinned, “My parents have officially adopted these two. No more foster homes for them.” Luke beamed at the boy in front of him.
”That’s amazing!” He pulled Reggie into a hug, and for a second he feared he might’ve moved too quickly, but he felt Reggie hugging him back. Flynn was just smiling on the couch, but Julie could tell there was a little sadness to it.
”Hey,” she whispered, letting the boys have their moment. “You okay?”
Flynn nodded, “I guess a part of me always hoped that my parents would eventually want me back. They gave me up cause I had six younger siblings, the youngest being twins that were only a year old. They couldn’t handle me going blind. But they were still my parents.” Flynn took in a shaky breath, “But at the same, Willie is the brother I never got. My only brother was five, so we weren’t close enough in age to be close, and he didn’t like me too much. And then there’s Reggie. Even if my parents did eventually want me back, I could never leave him. I need him as much as he needs me. So I’m thankful, but it’s also kind of bittersweet.”
Julie listened, choosing her next words carefully, “For what it’s worth, I’m thankful you found a family here. I can tell you are one of the only people Reggie has given his full trust to. I understand that you miss your parents, my mother passed away a few years ago and I miss her every day. But I think you and Reggie found something in each other that most people never get. And that is a blessing.” Flynn smiled at Julie as she felt a tear roll down her cheek.
”Thank you.”
”Anytime.” Julie grinned, before looking over at Reggie, “Are you guys ready for your presents?” It seemed to remind Reggie, he set his frame safely on top of the piano, before pulling his bag off his shoulder. He pulled out some clumsily wrapped presents, handing one to each of them. The siblings had agreed to share theirs when they got to the studio. Reggie was still bouncing as he watched them open them.
He had gotten Luke a pair of designed guitars picks, with images of Star Wars characters. Luke had invited Reggie for a movie night once, just the two of them, and they marathoned the entire series in a weekend. Closed captioning on after Luke insisted it didn’t bother him. Luke’s grin looked like it could’ve split his face in half when he looked up at Reggie.
He got Julie a framed drawing of one of her favorite book characters. It wasn’t one Reggie was familiar with, but he recognized it enough to know. She looked close to tears as she smiled at him.
He got Alex painted drumsticks. Designed with phrases to help anxiety. They had never talked about it, and Reggie was nervous about what he would think, but as he watched Alex read the phrases with a smile, he felt it was a good choice.
He had gotten Willie a kit for his skateboard, and Flynn some new art supplies, mostly black charcoals because they were her favorite medium. They were never really good with telling him stuff they wanted, so he went with stuff he knew they would need.
”Thank you, big brother.” Flynn leaned into his shoulder after Willie explained what she was holding.
Everyone kind of gave theirs at the same time after that. Luke had given Reggie a metal necklace, engraved with a line from his favorite song they performed, “We’re the revolution that’s been singing in the rain”, that he quickly put on. Julie had given him a stress ball shaped like R2D2, she had specially made for him to help him with the smoking. Alex had given him a new bass strap because he had realized his old one was wearing out, and it was red. Which made Reggie blush when he caught the look Alex gave him, shifting his eyes to Luke, who had told Reggie that red was his color. Flynn gave him a framed drawing of the band, and Willie had given him a t shirt for an old rock band he used to love to listen to. He had found it at a vintage store, and bought it to remind his little brother that there were other sounds in his head he could listen to. Reggie’s heart had never felt so full.